AlwaysJoggin

@Preety_India you see thats what i neede to hear like i didn't know thats possible that a girl could like a guy but not even kiss him or shit like that she just whats to hug me in bed?

@Eternity hey thanks for sharing that's so good to hear i'm still trying to understand women it's still a big mystery for me . here i have a question there might not be a clear answer to but this is fucking with me. so also this girl invited me to her room to talk but didn't really talk and told me to come lay in bed with her and when i layed down iwent for a kiss she was like what are you doing but she said it softly i told her can i kiss you? she said no i was like super confused why would a women tell a man to lay in bed with her if she wont even kiss him? should have i just went for it anyways did the no mean yes? was she playin hard to get and wanted me to force it cuz she is into that weird ultra masculine behavior?. how come she doesn't want to kiss me if she likes me? like she says that she likes me but why would she lie to me ??? doesn't make sense does it or I'm i missing something here ? did i do anything wrong? am i crazy or I'm just being played around with. i cut her and stopped giving her extra attention since that and now she is texting me then when i reply she takes ages to reply which is making my body feel sick and ill. am i over reacting?

@Preety_India yes im needy because she filled a void in my life i didn't realize existed. i honestly didn't think i would fall in love again with a women but it's beautiful i want it again know. its like a dealer giving you a dose of heroin.

@Preety_India cuz i really liked her she was sexy her smile use to make me weak and she was only girl that made me blush because how sweat she was with me and i can't help it i just catch feelings easily if someone offers the opportunity which she did! i wouldn't have been so hurt if she wasn't interested in me since day one but that wasnt the case! she give me attention that a needed yes

@kras yes i want to be around a girl and share and connect with her and fuck too you know? and not get shattered like a glass, im not spirituality there yet to identify the root tho to why being denied sex love and attention and being tossed hurts me. i hope that shit didnt hurt it just does

@Preety_India ye my bad i was never tout that. also i don't think im negative what's negative about me lol wtf? and yes there is way more to the story its fucked up thats all im gonna say this girl basically finessed my emotions thats im sure about and she knew what she was doing . ofcs i need work im a fucked up human too life been doing me bad since day one

@Preety_India but no ones feelings is being hurt here? you see the disconnect? dont worry about the words im using its the message im trying to convey maybe as a girl you don't feel that . i dropped out highschool grade 9 im not an intellectual this is how i express my self

@Preety_India thats just how i talk i feel like your super offended and thats all your agenda i wasnt a nice guy i know nice guys i was just a respectful person which normal girls with brains understand and like

hey man i wish this suffering didn't exist for you man hearing this makes me feel you i want you to know my thoughts are with you, you are very strong for handling this day in and out i hope some how you find a cure i don't know if praying works but maybe the infinite universe will hear our pain and agony and cure us from unbearable pain. I love you

@Forestluv you know what's also fucked up this girl have slept with multiple men and done one night stands she basically fucks around i'm pretty sure she knows what shes doing but she is also very stupid and have low self worth and i respected her and she isn't use to that..... which is also another dagger to the chest which assuming that could be a reason she backed up. super fucked up if you think about it

@Forestluv i was also trying to balance how much attention i give her like i don't give her too much attention she will fuck off and get it from someone else i give her attention she runs away like wtf some times you don't know what to do!

@Forestluv you see yes that could work too also but like what man one man do but his best you try to be staight forward so you don't get hurt and it still hurts and you if i rolled the dice on 3 month who knows what can happen

@Leo Gura i know a ugly guy who got his ass eaten from simping all the time from a way way hotter girl , its more dynamic than people think and it's not only one way to get with women

@Arcangelo ok so ill give you more details it's still a mystery as there is alot of reasons and my take on why this happened, its so fucked so she curved me not!!! because i'm lacking as a man! , i'm sure of this, actually that was the reason she started liking me i'm confident to say that I'm a handsome man pretty face 6'2 i'm confident and i have integrity and even our mutual friends approve of me and have told her that i'm right guy for her . her female friends said that IN front of me! and everything was going smooth i even made it clear to her like the second day we went out on a date that i'm around her because i like her! so i assumed she understood because she kept going with it we hanged out everyday and texted everyday and i swear i wasn't even that needy or even simping ok now let me tell you why i got got by this bitch, when we started talking she was already braking up with this guy who i'm much better that him i'm not just saying this it's actual fact i know him and she basically left him after i started showing around because she saw that i was a better fit but i think yesterday she started talking to a 3rd guy!!!!!! or maybe i'm wrong. ''''psychopathy''' and know she just hoping from man to man, this one take cuz i remember once while we were smoking she told me that her family is cursed because she and her mom and sister can never settle for a man and they keep jumping around men and she hates that but at the same time its what she wants!!! she also has huge daddy issues her dad wasn't around! the girl literally fucked up from her roots and she is very weak mentally obviously and she is only 19 . i just fell for her attention she gave me and i started liking her and i thought i had a chance with her sexually i never thought about her as long term partner i understood that i just have to fuck first it's really isn't my fault i tried my best i understand. but it's a lesson i have gained alot of experience because of this and my understanding of women have grown. i wonder how longer will it take for me to rest from this pain my stomach is curling and i have to appetite to eat or drink my mental state is fucked. and not because i didn't get to smash it's because as a human my emotions where fucked with hard

@Heart of Space ye it will work just send me your number ill call you

@RendHeaven @RendHeaven we just fucked forever stuck in this fuckery . i love this i love juice wrld its a shame im a fool art this moment i need strength im lacking im down bad!. i guess it is what it is im ready to move on but my heart needs to heal from this absolute horror of pain to the heart. that juice wrld song bro is so good thank you im rooting for you too , i feel like i understand you

@Heart of Space no how about skype or whatsapp

@Heart of Space sure man lets talk

ive never in my 23 years have cried this hard this so fucked up my emotions got sabotaged and just destroyed she lifted me to high and dropped me on the first corner this is so hard to bear im sorry but i dont see the beauty its just raw raw pain as a male human being thats literally the hardest hurt im sufferring i still yet to bear other that suffering in my 23 years ive been alive why does god create this im not aware of the infinite love im just a guy man god who became a guy to suffer and get painn like this i wish i know if it made sense, wish i can make sense wish i know why why all this whats going on why is life like this why is this reality why is it like this its the only way to free myslef is to kill my ego so i dont feel all this shitty emotions i have lost i give up i give up man why

i might actually dye i feel like i failed harddd i cant take the pain it hurts so much i jst want someone to hear me out i lost im in huge pain

dam i just realized that having no life purpose was a major thing when it came to me not being able to control my addiction and falling to addiction in the first place.

@Igor82 but “boosting our evolution” is ego thinking and survival that is counter productive to your point of eternal love no? Idk nothing matters just let go it’s ok or not who cares do what you want and seek what you want nothing really matters not even boosting evaluation it’s already infinite and maxed out. It really doesn’t matter unless you want it to be so good luck don’t hide the youth serum if you find it one day from us!. And just a thought, ever wondered if living forever was good for humanity and who said that will boost our evolution? It might halt it. You see maybe it is ego thinking after all and not a for sake of evolutionary love for humanity. Brain masturbation

@snowyowl thank you yes you are correct it does have to do with something deeply rooted , like my material needs when I didn’t gamble i had a more minimalistic lifestyle than when i was gambling for say and addicted i also started having nore instrest in buying more clothes and shoes and having more to spent around. my recovery process will include being back to simplifying living and being happy with what i have since it varies from addict to another to why he or she becomes trapped into this addiction i somewhat have came into realising what triggered me and tilted me to gamble. But yes it’s connected to a deeper cause also gonna start to meditate again I only stopped because meditation caused me depression bit i will approach differently hopefully this time it won’t as meditation can keep me grounded on what really matters in life and that’s def not money but it’s thing’s like watching my mom cook food <3

I lost yet another good chunk of money to gambling Im addict , I keep going back I can’t stop i make so many posts before on my addiction and i keep going back I won’t give up I will try again I just hate myself so much right now

@neutralempty lol you reminded me of this anime character Light Yagami “everything went according to plan”