AlwaysJoggin

Dealing with huge inner conflict this only arrised after she got pregnant. This was never a problem I didn’t care about this at all but I don’t know what is going on in my psychology something is hunting me and making me emotionally unstable it comes and goes away so I’m living in emotional roller coaster. so the situation is that i met a girl in the summer we kept hanging out every day we fell in love quickly we are just naive like that lol. after just 1 month she got pregnant I told her I’m not ready!! but in her head she really wants a baby so talking to her didn’t work so I just accepted it easily, her personality very not mature she is 21 I’m 24. I didn’t care much at first as my personality is very carefree and go with the flow. i was trying to stay positive so I didn’t go crazy and be persistent so now she is 3 month pregnant we are still together and seeing each other very frequently and text each other like every hour. but there is one thing that is hunting me daily deeply it’s damaging my psyche and causing me discomfort mentally about her that keeps bothering me and makes me regret this and that she is only 21 and before she met me she had sex with 5 guys in her life which is hunting me and bringing negative emotions to me I know this is reality of human females and taking her environment into account and her insecurities but I can’t get over is i feel angry towards her is my head I can’t accept it before she was pregnant it was ok to me it didn’t bother me at all not even cross my mind. bshe had told me this from our first date so I always know this about her, that her body count is 5 but I didn’t think much of it at the time I know this is silly maybe but I can’t control my psyche and how it works I really want to get over it but I don’t seem to get over it she really loves me and I love her too but. Regardless I feel like disgusted and very angry when I imagine that other men have had sex with my girlfriend but only when she got pregnant my brain shifted some how into this pattern on thoughts this thinking idk maybe it’s genetics as I’m originally from Middle East but she is half Jamaican half filipino. But I really want to get over it because i have no choice but too accept it because what she did in her pass is already done. I have a feeling it will be hard to fix this issue as it’s inbedes in my core personality and I feel hopeless maybe I will feel sad and angry and rage inside about this for longer. I will take some mushrooms today and ask for help.

@DoTheWork I’ve zoned out from voice in the head on mushrooms like 1gram .

@Zen LaCroix it’s not hard

@HypnoticMagician yo link me up with the secretaries

dug my self in a whole financially and I’m working every day now I want to do 12 hours a day but I can’t do it as i fatigue quickly after 6 hours.

@Nahm Yo i need to look that guy up, thanks I’m close I feel like

@diamondpenguin spend all my money and I don’t have savings

@mmKay eyo Uber is actually a great temporary job for grinding for a while but i feel like i need some sort or remedy or something for me to reach 10 hours everyday for like 60 days straight I’m gonna need cocaine cuz coffee won’t cut it i yet tired easily

@Nahm i drive my car do delivery i was working lifeguard this summer also why i want to do this, my this i mean grind and work my ass off, long story short , i got a girl pregnant and she wants to keep it that’s why i work because knowing there is human being coming I work hard for that cause before this i was basically living like hippie/rockstar i was just fucking around i uad zero worries so I didn’t have motivation for financial success because I didn’t have responsibilities but now i feel like i have responsibility and I don’t mind it , I actually like the fire and desire this has give me,i feel like I WANT to work I always hated work but now hating work is not option lol for now I guess i want to love work ! Also I don’t like my current job i want to start working from home

@gettoefl hold on is he wearing a wig?

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@gettoefl I feel same way

@herghly ama give it a shot

Can you guys share your favourite Quotes non-duality, love , self love ...Ect

it just makes me more turned on during sex if a girl calls me daddy , like the girl im taking care of her and treating her well so im her daddy now lol idk why it turns me on but has to do with dominance i guess.

I will try to keep this short. she had bad experience with sex in the past and had high expectations from me! this girl got super cheesed because I finished first I know I know but it wasn't entirely my fault , i was going to eat her out but she was enjoying me inside of her and honestly was so in the moment I forgot! and when i got close i told her to slow down so i don't finish, but she was like NO! no go faster , then i came and she got mad she didn't want to see me again! after the sex but, i talked her down and calmed her we went again for round 2 shortly after i wanted to make it up for her! and she came this time! so i was like ok maybe now she is happy!, but lmao she was still mad and told me to stay with her in bed and outa no ware this girl tells me she doesn't want to have sex again with me!. i honestly couldn't care less like for me my mission is accomplished i toke them cheeks and now i don't feel as attached to her, so i got up and told her i had enough i didn't let her finish talking after hearing that one sentence (''i think i don't want to have sex with you anymore'') i just wanted to get the fuck outa there cuz that was so cringe to me it didn't make sense. she started pulling my hand and telling me to stay i just went out anyways. was it really my fault? personally I think shit happens out of context btw. this is same girl that played with my heart a while ago and I came to the forums to cry about it, she gave me so much pain and I wanted her soo bad , now after the sex I feel at peace and don't feel like I need her.

@SamC I just started realizing that too!

@bejapuskas probably not dude, no i know she told me she doesn't like fingering and I didn't eat her out, and I wasn't suppose to go inside her vagina she told me not too but it some how happened I slipped it in was so fast and when i was in her she told me yes keep going don't stop! , i feel like she was a bit controlling during the sex which shouldn't have been the case but I was just high and horny i just went with the flow didn't think much about it. it would have been a different story all together if I did ate her out perhaps.

@StarStruck what tell me!

yo this girl played me so hard in the last 2 weeks she been givng me attention and we hangout and she acts like she likes me so i start catching feelings for her and i did and today she tells me if we stop talking to each other after spending 2 weeks seeing each other? wtf? why she play me and waste my time like i was living good and not streessed and she was the one to make moves on me and then made me fall for her guys help im soo sad right now im like i want to cry i never did anything wrong to her she just outa nowhere rejects me im super hurt cuz it dosnt make since and now im trapped because im so emotionally attached to her, how do i break and stop thinking about her im fucking crying yo this hurts bad specially for a man she was beefing with me and now i feel like im LACKING like im not man enough im crying while typing this god i wish i never met her . and the thing that hurts the mosttt is that i know i deserve better i know my worth im super confident and a great guy but yo this girl literally broke me too fucking pieces my suffering why does god want to experience this torture why? how is this infinite love im fucking getting fucked over my whole life how does this make any sense im just tired yo im done

@Preety_India you need to understand that not all girls are like you

@NoSelfSelf we re bunch fucking animals and not separate all the things we do is exactly like wild cold animals . whats all we do and sometimes we blind to see it

@Preety_India thank you

@Preety_India ok ill try im not gonna be needy ill give her the same vibe and attention she gives me no more or less. but at the same time when i do that she starts asking me why im being cold its a loophole yo lol im just gonna go with the flow im done here thanks everyone

@Rilles dude she has a dildo in her room that's always outa charge why the fuck doesn't she want to fuck? she says she wants to take things slow but at the same time she have told me stories of her doing one night stands and she asked me how big i am? but yet she doesn't want to fuck? so confusing i need to understand what the fuck is going on