Epiphany_Inspired

You all seem so sure...but I'm not there yet... perhaps not having free choice is simply way too creepy for me... bah-hum-bug-bullshit to "soul contracts" etc.... free will... the rest of you can be trapped actors in a fucked up play if you like.... my ego believes that it chooses all roles, director, producer, and star ...lol... I love just randomly going a different direction in my car...or deciding not to do that... I just really like choice... maybe I "need" to feel I can choose... the alternative seems rather evil-over-lord-ish doesn't it?

Thanks so much for posting other Kriya yoga books @Paul EMD @Shanmugam ... I don't have any form of online $, I don't know how to buy things online and don't think I want to start yet.... @Soulbass There is an amazing yoga center in my new community with satsangs and dinners etc ... I had been thinking of going for the last few weeks... I totally agree with you, it would be better for me too! I hope I can avoid the watered down stuff and sketchy gurus...lol... I'm sure Leo's book list is amazing, and worth every penny!!! Imagine how much time he has spent weeding through information to distil it down for us! That said, it rubbed me the wrong way with the book list as a necessity for that growth.... it seemed like the only way I could participate in Leo's life changing new video was to step into that $ paradigm...one that causes a lot of materialism and addiction in my culture (online spending)... I'm practically Amish when it comes to money, and I don't yet trust myself not to fall into the traps of ebay etc... I know I've wasted hours just looking at art-nouveau buttons, and vintage record players that look like the wizard of OZ and other bullshit crap, that I may like, but don't need.... I know the book list is different, it's knowledge, but it would open a door to a world I may not yet be safe in... anybody else feel this way? do you all live in virtual $ land?

Every time there is a Leo love thread, it's hard to resist... I love you Leo..... your honesty, bluntness, humour, wisdom, dedication, silly mannerisms, open-mindedness, compassion, education with swearing, etc ....Grateful you exist, and I found out!

Dog portrait if anything...so cute...but maybe only if it would make you happy not trigger sadness...

@CuteCornDogThere is nothing I feel I could say right now, that Leo's victim video wouldn't say more thoroughly...well worth watching again and again

@Eden My heart is warmed by your experience, and because you shared it. Yes, it is a bizzare sensation and connection even in the early stages. I respect you so much! I appriciate you so much!!!? Sending love and healing and freedom for your beautiful life! Non-duality perspectives may help, or thoughts of universal oneness...

@Jamie Universe I'm super happy for you too...crying is ok...If this persists as an emotional issue though...it may help to imagine how terrible it would be if you had to continue living inauthentically...hiding your true self... the opposite of coming out into the rainbow sunlight, is hiding everything inside a dark closet, right? This is likely part of why pride parades exist...do you have them there? If so, i by the time that one happens next, I hope you can attend in true blissful authentic celebration

I like these . Please keep making things...especially when they are both wise and lovely.

@egoless @Max_V as a "sandwich" bread alternative, i sometimes make patties with lentils or rice (farm eggs work well to hold them together, but you could use someting vegan like flax eggs or maybe even applesauce?)...or you can make a wrap with a big piece of romaine lettuce... I still eat real rye bread sometimes (best to avoid wheat and get the fermented kind/ sourdough started) the type of bread you can sit on and it dosent change shape is what our ansestors ate without issue... or learn to give it up... the quality of grain is definately changing...

Hmmm...I don't know enough about it all to give you a proper answer, but I can offer some personal experience...should this be in the dating section?...anyway...as someone that's been at stage green for a very, very long time...personally, I like to be approached as a friend, if I get even a whiff of anything lacivious, it will seem creepy. For example: if you want to compliment, do it as a flirty friend (especially no comments about the body, orange may like that, but the greens I know find that in bad taste/ creepy). A compliment about our choice of empowering conversation topic, or how much you appriciate our rebellion against some authority...lol... would be something a new flirty friend might say... It's not that we would ever want to forbid men from our dating scene, it's more that we appriciate being respected regardless of gender and want friendship with likeminded individuals formost... I have no idea if this helps... I tried

This topic has always been on the forum, but I feel like I see it everytime I log in now...and feel it myself at times too...@PsiloPutty Check out the other posts, there is lots of good info. I think an answer to your question may be " if they/you want to". Does the friendship offer learning/ growth for you, or joy, or something else? Are you at a point where you can accept the other's behaviour? (if it would bring you down or if it's becoming condusive to you returning to addictions etc ....these may be things to consider)... Friends are one of the most valuable things in life...there have been posts by others that regret giving up all friends because of their consciousness level...that said, frienships can be dysfunctional too...only you can decide what is best for you in each situation...be grateful for the good friends you have, so fortunate to find them

@Recursoinominado Which control drama most fits you? I get reacting with "shit" in realization....i did that too with mine...but the bigger point is that you've noticed this...now, you can just develop that same mindfulness when it's happening in the present, and eventually overcome it You are like those nice vampires in movies that try to drink animal blood instead... You've realized what's going on, and and your intentions to transcend this are awesome!

@brovakhiin @Hardkill Ok, so I did the rescearch, now I know what you mean by "game". According to the article that I will attach below, game is usually comprised of three things: It’s that the Man who, 1. Has Balls and confidence, 2. Possesses social intelligence and calibration, 3. is Interesting as a person/human being Now for a man with Aspergers....from my experience, if the guy has a really fucking strong #3 (as in: he is one of the most interesting people you will ever meet), women like me are capable of looking past the missing #1 & #2. You could try to improve your confidence or social skills, but that could take years, and you may not need to. Maybe all you have to do is find women that think "being interesting" is superior to mastering "confidence/ socialization",... Then, in a humble authentic way, show them just how interesting you are http://attractwomenanywhere.com/blog/2008/08/18/what-game-really-is/

@Hardkill I'm not going to tell you how to improve your "game" because I don't think women should be played or hunted, or whatever game refers to...but, I will try my best to help you... You deserve to hold out for somebody rad, just as you suggested It does happen, so you have hope: I had an incredible boyfriend (multi-year relationship) with asperger's... There were limitations, but it was awesome.... He had only experienced 2 other girlfriends his whole life/ he was in his 40's and he could only handle me (or any other humans), 2-3 days per week max...... Sure, there are usually some things to work through... Your new lady will need a willingness to take that adventure with you, let her know it's worth it I also had a crush with asperger's that decide he couldn't date me because I was not on the spectrum...and he felt it would be too hard for me (he made this choice on my behalf, against our mutual desire)... I know I've done it, I could have handled the dificulties....make sure you don't close yourself off because you think aspergers will get in your way... Be truly open Anyway...The common thread with both of these guys was their incredible talent and inventiveness... Do you have a special skill? If so, that may "say" more than any lines , etc could ever... There are YouTube video's about looking vs staring, and you could figure out the suble expressions etc as you get to know someone that is willing to accept your awesome self.... Best wishes!

@F A B I don't think it was originally intended to be... But perhaps it's been interpreted that way by some these days.... I feel that we can have boldness and drive, while honoring the distinctly yin qualities....Feminism is about strength, and about creating a new paradigm to transcend the patriarchal realm we've been living in for too long now....

@Shakazulu I think of innovators as a cross between trend-setters, inventors, and revolutionaries.... None of which need " good taste" although it may help in some cases... The most valuable skills would be: forward/ future thinking, marketing, passion, cutting edge ideas- bring future into present, creativity, dreaming, drive for change, etc...

@Vipassana I have heard that pot is supposed to hinder, good job! Yes, back when my dreams weren't trauma blocked I loved dream journals, and I have some to look back on now and remember how cool dreaming was... It's like we get 2 lives, and at least one is totally limitless...although they both come close....lol...so why not document it...it helps with recall too....mugwort is supposed to be awesome for dreaming Sweet dreams!

@Recursoinominado I don't know if this will help...I find thinking of the higher self, connecting, then taking even a baby step in that direction... Or asking friends to help you "remember" why you are so love-able....or self care.... Etc Maybe if you deal with the energy vampire thing, that would help. Maybe check out "control dramas" , maybe figure out which one you have, and how you use it to siven energy that does not belong to you... Then maybe practice some mindfulness on this and wean yourself off, while finding uplifting ways to give yourself that energy you crave https://wakeup-world.com/2013/11/25/how-to-build-immunity-to-other-peoples-control-dramas/

Do you get any waves where you are?..I like surfing...I may be suggesting you trade one addiction for another, but at least this is a healthy one....lol....helps replace harmful addictions with "surf stoke" ocean euphoria. Here's a quote from an article about this: "research shows that people feeling “surf stoked” are, in fact, enjoying a chemical cocktail triggered by the charged ions found in the atmosphere around turbulent water. While surfing, we experience elevated levels of Adrenalin and Dopamine. Surf-stoke remains long after we’re back on the beach. Research suggests these persistent effects of surf euphoria may be attributed to an unlikely candidate: sea spray." https://www.theinertia.com/environment/scientists-froth-on-surf-stoke/

@spicy_pickles, I did it, freedom from that shit is one of the best fucking things in the whole fucking universe!!! It can be quite dangerous to leave, be careful and watch out for the reaction (in my case it was obsessional stalking, in other cases it's straight up escalated violence, etc). I had three different transition houses help me with safety/ escape plans. Getting over the control is a bit like escaping a cult, there is a lot of brainwashing as you know and it's a tricky recovery....but so worth it...the freedom is sweeter than fresh ripe garden strawberries!!! My fingers are soooooo crossed that you do not have a child with this person. I wish you the best! Feel free to message me if you want any help, I am so stoked for you and your awesome new life!

@Max_V This Dalai lama quote kind of explains the desire: “We human beings are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others’ activities. For this reason, it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.” I know it's a painful one, but I really like this thread....because so many of us can relate. As a fellow hermit, I do agree with what others have said about becoming content with your own company...but I also know that we are social creatures...here's a random idea...What could you maybe do at lunch (in addition to eating) that you might find fun? ...something part of your development, something you care about/ in universal service? Perhaps if you had a rad activity like this to look forward to.... perhaps it would bring you joy on your own, perhaps others would want to help, perhaps not... The point being that your mind and heart are occupied with something other than loneliness, or lack.... I don't know... But also agree, like minded friends are out there for you, maybe just fewer in numbers, but worth any effort to discover

I totally get it *consciously* that I have *No Control*.... but my emotional self still really struggles with accepting this.... ideas? I hadn't heard this song in a long time, but it began to play in my head as I tangled with this...I forgot just how fitting it is....

@kieranperez I really like all of the answers that you received! So much so, that I have nothing to add except gratitude for your willingness to share, and the awesome support...like truth that came gift wrapped in love

@YaNanNallari @Shin Very grateful to you, thanks!!!

Do you believe that transcending the ego must be done alone? I just lost my lover (of 7 months), and he believes ego shedding must be done alone. I told him it's likely not true in an interdependent scenario, but I actually don't know. Is this true for some, none, or all of us? I re-watched Leo's break-up video, probably way too soon, and it didn't resonate with me the way it did the first time, it seems designed for people new to the actualization process, people that are leaving a low conscious or needy relationships, etc... I made a post about a month ago, about how to know *when* to end this "temporary" dating thing (because I had never done that). After, that post, I made a conscious choice to enjoy every minute I had, and accept it just as it was...I had no red flags for unhealthiness, best values match ever, beautiful love... it seemed silly to end it randomly because of the "temporary" limit he put on it.... It feels weird that I can't really say I've just had a "break-up" because it technically wasn't a "relationship"...but the loss FEELS the same... because I opened my heart all of the way... I had never been willing to do a temporary situation before, and I could have guarded my heart, but the experience would have been less full that way, and it was worth it... I haven't been *left* in over 20 years, so *painful*... I asked him how to recover and he said it's not a skill I can learn... but everything in actualization does seem to be a skill, even if it's just learning to *be with feelings*, etc... so how to deal with a break-up - the next phase? (if far from finished, but already doing the development stuff for years, already beat the neediness/ most bad habbits, etc)? Now that I've been with an actualizing person, I wouldn't want anything else again, ever. I'm curious, is it true that only 1% of people are willing to take this journey? If I decide to avoid dating etc, all together again (like I did for years before this), how do I determine if that is coming from an authentic place, or a neurotic place? What's the best step-by-step-type method to heal and recover?