Epiphany_Inspired

I've lost a number of friends to suicide so I may take it too seriously at times... or from the PD "everything is eternal" sense, possibly not think of death as an end... which is also not helpful. I've tried talking to suicidal peeps on this forum... its always a risk, if you say the "wrong" thing and they die, the guilt could devour your heart... when I have been at my lowest a few times, I wasn't able to see the things that almost always keep me from depression (like the magic way sunlight reflects off leaves)... I think bringing them into the present helps (not past abuse or future worries), I think gratitude helps, and I think shifting paradigms helps... other than that I dont know...

I even judge the trees....

*LOVE* What is your life purpose? Audio & Visual storytelling What are you interested in learning? Anything which progresses my development. What are you sticking your neck out for? Earth(+people/animals)/creativity/freedom Why are you creating what you are? Expression/awareness What is the most important thing to do in the world right now? Be love

STARTING BACKSLIDING STARTING

As one who ricochets between feeling more whole, feeling a lack/ various lacks, and even feeling utter emptiness on occasion.... I've noticed a phenomenon which seems contradictory at first, but upon contemplation, makes sense: when I am most whole it's closest to nothing, and when I am most empty... well, the visions of things to put in the "basket case" are most numerous...

I totally support this shift too (though I still don't do online $. Am I the only one? Mail a cheque option?). I had planned to offer physical help as well if Leo does the creative projects, the other offers are awesome! I dont do animation / work on the computer anymore, but I could volunteer my time with non-digital fine art concepts, design, storyboarding, etc if that's of some assistance

@Carson Ford your last post puts a lot of pressure on anyone who may wish to respond... Who wants to risk saying the wrong thing, and making matters worse?... Especially when life is on the line... Still, I am just brazen enough to try to help today: I belive that somewhere inside you is a passion for something, and that you can find it... That once this smouldering spark is ignited, the flame will burn strongly within you. I beleive that there is likely a self-made block to your connection, not a conscious choice... I also believe that if you made a conscious choice to be vulnerable and connect (even if you must "fake" the desire to do so at first) that this wall would cruble to pieces... I hope... that if you choose to spend time in nature, maybe: watching light refract off of a creek and it's ferns, or the sent of the tide's froth as it hits the shore, tasting fresh fruit, or listening to an owl sing to you in the moonlight... That you could teach yourself to see the beauty in all things again... I believe that you want to live, to thrive, to evolve, and to be content knowing each day is a precious gift, wanting as much time here as you can get... I have no desire to debate, to be told "all is shit", or to be asked repeatedly for help. This gift of my time, & words are what I have to offer you, and hope you may pause to consider that you have the choice: Beauty and contentment or continuing to suffer in the emptyness you described...

@bejapuskas I am a parent, and also a being that dwells far to much in the land of fear. I adore Leo's videos, it's hard to say which has been most valuable to me, (they all help transfomation in different ways)... But, this video is up near the top! As I handle/ expose the illusions of my own fear, this will teach my daughter. I can also help guide and illuminate truth underneath the fear for her (like the snake thats actually a rope when seen in the light) simply by bringing that light of mindfulness in, as a tool for her... So far, that is all I have discovered. Let me know if you think of anything else. We have both witnessed or experienced abuse which makes the potential for fear/ triggers more abundant, and unfortunately like the tigers that really chase, humans living in suffering can be vicious too: they lurk in plain sight, and in sheeps clothing... That is the hardest for me to handle and to teach... To eliminate fear, while still guarding against/ not being affected by the barrage of emotional/ verbal/ physical attacks that come at times.... To send love to bullies and lost souls that lash out (like tiger claws) to our hearts... To somehow create a shield of love that is impenetrable to these "attacks"... *and* to see the attacks as "the rope" (the underlying pain body), rather than the apparent serpent and it's bite, visible on the surface... Let me know if you have any ideas here too

BUT LEO... @Leo Gura From a metaperspective, if you have imagined all of these/ us students... Would it not be wise to contemplate: "How could teaching the imagined others allows me to fully understand myself"? Perhaps you may find that you imagined us for good reason... I feel I imagined you for good reason... (Now, perhaps this is another delusion and way my ego can retain independence... but...) Do you know 100% that the ball of yarn you've discovered is all encompassing, or the only one? What if "all", isnt "ALL"... if infinity truly conforms to its definintion there could be infinate infinities! There could be an infinate number of infinate balls of yarn all intersecting... yours, mine, etc... If that were possible... the "point" of having students could be profound... Your nose itched at the bottom... that's supposed to mean a change in affairs... sounds about right... perhaps there is a way to switch up teaching without abandoning it? Did you ever do the "in person" tours? I can ask the Buddhist Monastary here if you can stay in one of their cabins... It's very inexpensive and amazing... I have a rad place to stay in Seattle now too if I ever go to the states...

I live in Canada. We moved to a small island 2 years ago, myself/child. I chose this place because it is a hub of creativity (art/music/ etc), a spiritual center, it is safe, communal, and a natural wonderland. If I wanted to, I could go "downtown" in my pajamas, or in a crazy costume, and either would be accepted and possibly appreciated. My daughter can be friends with chill nature loving kids, that have awesome likeminded parents. Rushing is frowned upon, local food is cherished... it's paradise for us

I've had this problem too... maybe some on this forum would tell you that you don't need friends and should go meditate all day in a cave like the monks... for me, quality friends are a part of the journey... find them in different places, maybe: at yoga centers, at the health foods, at PD workshops, etc... I spend less time with the drinkers that still have value and reasonable consciousness, I spend no time with the drinkers that dwell in emptiness, bullshit, chimp-mentality, etc...

@illia As one of the queens of backsliding... I feel like a bit of a hypocrite answering this... that said, maybe that will make my insights helpful (tricks I've likely learned from Leo/ PD): 1. Picture both "options": youtube & food indulgence, vs, focus/passion/dedication. Now, what does each path look like 1 month in the future, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc...? 2. Leave youtube momentarily for any nature, even a house plant, focus on it until you are completely absorbed in it's beauty, grateful for it's existence/ entirely present/ until you are one, then... imagine it's growth in sunlight with fresh pure water... imagine it's growth with only blue computer light (youtube) and growing in a pot filled with trash instead of soil (too much food/ wrong food) 3. Set up new fun habits for a limited time each day, and integrate the responsibilities... you can come up with more tricks yourself I'm sure... but just do it... or life can eventually crumble

@Surfingthewave @PalleroThank you!

@BobbyI don't know... hitting rock bottom is a magic pill for some too (like Ekart Tolled, or Byron Katie), but it doesn't mean that it would work for everyone... some hit rock bottom and continue to sink into the molten core of oblivion... I have a question too... I've now had multiple people ( whom have taken this) tell me that individuals with children must avoid this at all costs because the life-fracturing quality of this medicine is so disassembling... thoughts?

@Leo Gura I believe I understand the vastness of what you said... yes, it is all very distorted, tricky and contentious; so true. That said, I just saw that another thread re: politics vs unconditional love was shut down, and you haven't even made this video yet! Although there may (or may not) be issues with that topic starter engaging in troll type behaviours... I have concerns (for everyone's sake) that trying to put a lid back on this particular can of worms could be too suppressive for any radical notions (likely coming from from anarchist-type folks) which may, or may not open our minds ... Plus, the worms could crawl too far out of this particular pandora's box and take over the place! I've always felt that the forum has so much freedom for almost every other topic (Hitler, sex, etc). When it comes to politics, does the freedom end? Does it need to, (so that politics vs anarchy does not fully take over the forum)? Leo, I remember all of your warnings when the Trump crap began, so I will attempt to embrace this paradox, and hope we can all potentially handle a shit-storm of worms when the video comes out...

Ha ha @Shin. Thanks @Flatworld Crusades @Surfingthewave @SgtPepper @Shadowraix ... Although I'd rather discuss the other ideas mentioned ... the idea that probably needs the most attention is the one @Surfingthewave mentioned. *Some* men *may* fake confidence to feel better, or seem more attractive, others genuinely have it, even if it may endanger their safety at times... lol... with women, I see a mix of a few disturbing things that have become far too pervasive: 1. Lack of esteem/ efficacy being "expected" in females / even distorted as an "attractive" quality (such as "damsel in distress") 2. Cultural and patriarchal conditioning aimed to damage esteem and/or efficacy in females (including religion, media etc) 3. In home negative esteem & efficacy conditioning from male family members/ partner/ parent 4. Sub-text negative conditioning within female circles and friendships 5. Sub-conscious negative conditioning within female's own minds... Freedom from all of this can be a real challenge for any woman/ girl/ trans/ etc. As you can see from above, we are bombarded with this from all directions, even at home. One could get freedom from #1-4 hiding in a cave... but you'd be in there with a mind that has already absorbed all of the rest of it. This conditioning is just like any limiting belief system for a male/ female/ trans/ etc. I would assume it has to be dealt with in the same way, but other ideas/ comments are most welcome ?

There was a somewhat recent thread about politics which seemed to get unnesesarily spicy (can't remember the tittle). Although I totally agreed with what Emerald & Leo were saying, I also felt a lot of connection with the anarchistitic style of the topic starter's posts. I felt the topic starter was gang bullied by a number of members on this forum... but I didnt mention it there, simply to avoid further bullying. Leo, I would love for you to cover this topic, great idea... that said, ( on behalf of myself, and likely the rest of the stage green crowd) I do not want to deal with more individuals being ostracized as a result. I hope you can find a way to make it work (like a mango lasse, after an intense curry). Excited for it ???

@Bridge to Infinity Your response was actually perfect for me. I did spend over 3 months without Leo's videos/ YouTube. I found it wonderful, that said, I haven't found returning to online life too challenging either. I did implement Leo's practices while offline, daily. Leo's suggestions are diverse, and have now become a part of my "operating system" (contemplation, mindfulness, relationship red flags, awareness, non-duality, values, etc). So, because I have actually done what you suggest, I can see both sides of the coin. What you said is totally true. Also, what you missed is the evolution of both Leo, and myself... having these journeys intertwine as we all progress helps further our connection to infinate oneness ( when addictions do not interfear). I dont watch every new video (too busy), but when I do it is VERY helpful.... just as this forum is super helpful, to connect with others on this journey... like you ? I still believe YouTube, like most things, is great... if in moderation, and used consciously... but I am very stoked for you to take what sounds like a much needed break, sending good thoughts for your freedom from this sticky web.

@possibilities Your guide is wonderful. I will shine my greater awareness on the survival mechanisms... and I love the step by step guide, It's actually just what I needed to see. I am copying it now to send to myself for regular review. Sending genuine gratitude

@Nahm I really like creation too (ha ha - baby part, so true). I can't think of anything else.... except maybe the willingness to die (not in the suicide sense, but ways like: complete openness to physical death at the end of life, or openness to ego death at any point)

@Bridge to Infinity I totally get what you are saying, and admittedly, there are things on YouTube that can hook me too (though I don't surf mindlessly, or get stuck in that way). That said, you can also learn many skills, languages, PD/ learn from Leo, etc... so It's like food, sex, etc/ many things in life, where it is up to each of us as individuals to use to help us evolve/ use wisely/ don't over indulge... idea: maybe make a schedule of 30 minutes per day where you use YouTube as a tool to better yourself/ work on your purpose, etc... when your timer goes off, you switch it off sending good wishes

@possibilities @Leo GuraSurvival Questions: #1. When taking important risks to excel personal evolution, this often increases survival drive, how does one keep this in check? I recently took some big risks to transform my life... This involved major housing/ stability/ etc... Like Leo said, I prefer the results, to the process... I don't want the stagnancy of a risk-less life, but the "survival overdrive" which often occurs seem like a regression... ideas? #2. Finances and their role: Does being at the "upper survival level" help facilitate one's development potential? Does financial security (for the most part) create more stagnancy, or does it help to eliminate some of the time consuming challenges associated with more basic survival? Or, are finances either irrelevant, or helpful/ hindering depending on one's awareness level? #3. The basic drudgery of survival: How do you figure out what to eliminate? Breathing/ drinking water are necessary. Of all of the other things that we do daily, can we sift through them, (like weeding out negative habits)? #4. "Healthy Survival": Does this exist? Is it a spectrum? For example: The chop wood carry water paradigm can be helpful to personal development, right? .... #5. Facing your own death... What are the top 3 ways to do this *daily*?

@How to be wise I believe the world does need our help, just not in a "forced" manner... I feel like: the environment, the other creatures, etc are all impacted by lack of human consciousness too... There is, of course, doing what we can to evolve as individuals... but also... yes, I believe that finding a life purpose that serves the universe/ others is an amazing goal... The idea of the songwriter is an wonderful example of how this often works indirectly to both spread awareness, or lack of consciousness (like comparing John Lennon's "Imagine" to any random song about getting money/sex/cars)... on a more subtle individual level, people often do want help in baby steps... an example: how often have you heard others complain about persistent negative thoughts, wanting to move beyond them? Offering some quick basic techniques can be warmly welcomed, where as outlining non-duality, or suggesting major transformations can be too overwhelming for others (unless you sneak it into a song or something... lol... ) ... I really like that you are contemplating this, and hope you wont give up on people just yet

@Leo Gura Taking breaks for yourself, WHENEVER you need time for "you", makes a lot of sense (even if it "seems" hard for us, it is a good example regardless). I don't want this to ever be stale for you... I wish you passion, discoveries, initiation, innovation, insights, evolution, tons-o-new-ness, and many amazing adventures! I am SUPER behind on videos from all of the time I took offline anyway... lol... Thank you again so much for everything you have already shared, I appreciate you so much!

As most of us know, when western-medicine says something is not curable they are usually full of shit, unless we buy into it. So, how do we go about curing the Incurable? I have some clues, holistic thinking, emotional and energetic work, nutrition, natural medicine etc... For me, I've been having severe pain/ emergency room visits etc for the last 4 months. It seems, my bladder has no lining (intersitinal cystitis) = pain. I miraculously quit caffeine, chocolate, oranges, tomatoes, wheat, etc and have improved... but not enough... I'm looking for more ideas (?) I am taking herbal medicine which is also helping... I'd really like to repair/ regrow/ heal the lining that will "apparently" never heal with this condition, and heal it for good! I am taking Gotu Kola to re-grow, other herbs to soothe/coat lining, and I'm avoiding all irritants I can think of (except sex, which also causes this pain). I have various visualizations that I do to bring in light and transform the pain. I am seeing 3 different councellors (Louise Hay says bladder issues = toxic relationships & this happened right after family court). I'm doing all of the stress-management techniques I can find. I use a lot of heat to stop the flare-ups before they set in and get more severe. Any other ideas are appriciated with immense gratitude! Thanks!