Epiphany_Inspired

@Lynnel Thanks so much. What you say is totally true, especially when it comes to asking questions. Now, let's say I'm just having a regular conversation with a friend and I mention something about how our past experiences could be altering our current perspectives...the friend says that she doesn't "believe in that"....Do I: a) Change the subject b) Mention amazing research (neurobiology etc), that could empower her, that shows this is most likely true (this is what I'd normally do) c) Remind her that we have a subconscious, and how it works, (this is difficult as others assume - I'm trying to sound condescending or superior) d) Say that I respect our differences, and move on e) other? How many points can one bring up to illustrate a perspective before it becomes debating, trying to convince, etc? How would we know if we are just wanting to share and empower, or subconsciously wanting to be "right"? How do we go back and forth like you suggest, without emotions getting involved, intentionally or unconsciously? (even if I am able to *sometimes* keep my emotions out of it, others often aren't even aware of their emotions, and how quickly they are triggered and escalate when there are certain differences of opinion) How do we avoid others assuming we are "preaching" when we simply have a bunch of cool perspectives to share? How do we know that we are not actually "preaching" but from our subconscious? How do we avoid frustration with the often extreme closed-mindedness of others (that is the most likely culprit in inducing my "debate mechanism")?

Rad, thanks!@eskwire

@Azrael Let me know when you arrive in Vancouver, I live rurally, on the coast, not far away, I'd love to hear more in person... if you are able to share your integration insights. Thanks.

@Joshaps I just discovered these... amazing! There also seems to be a difference between getting some, and making one. Personally, I'm finding that these beads are an excellent tool. Creating your own Mala is like a mediation and ceremony combined... as each of the 108 beads is added, it is infused with the chosen mantra, and the final guru bead gives a lovely place to begin, end, or reflect. This infused mantra is fabulous for both mediation and energetic purposes for me (especially if the right semi-precious stones are used, and... for meditating when more focus is required/ mind is more chaotic). So many traditions seem to use beads, Buddhist, Rosaries, Rudraksha in India, etc... I think with good reason. I have not yet really experimented with transcendental, but I believe this is similar, yet opposite. The purpose of an-undefined mantra in transcendental is apparently to keep your mind from attaching any meaning to it. On the other hand, the mantra infused in your Mala is all about the meaning of the mantra... like mental chanting, like affirmations, like choosing your desired direction and focusing intention on it, in a few simple words, in a meditative way. At least that is my understanding, (and how the beads are useful for me sometimes)...plus, they just feel good...as they warm and interact with your body...I have also begun experimenting using the mantra infusion for sort of a visualization repetition, and it intuitively feels quite positive!

@Passionate You rock, thanks so much! @Elton Fair enough, I totally get that. Have you done any research about how the chemicals/ hormones/ endorphins/ pheromones, etc involved with intercourse effect women? Leo mentions it in one of his videos, but you may not have seen it (it might be one for women specifically). Anyway, although this obviously does not effect ALL women...through evolution, women have developed a bonding mechanism as a result of sex. The more times a woman is with a guy, the more bonded they become (likely evolutionary for the benefit of offspring)....I'm not sure of the exact logistics, but I think about 3 times is supposed to create a bond. Often this is with the "wrong person", and the bond can seem to be a connection, when it is actually just physiological (not energetic/ shared values, etc). This is one of the reasons many men, and women are into one night stands. For me, a couple of decades ago, I had a super rad boyfriend demand that I have an STD screening before we could sleep together. I was terrified, I wanted him to go with me. He wouldn't, and he broke up with me because of my fear. I realized and respected his integrity so much that it gave me the courage to do it. Yes, STD free! Since then, every boyfriend I've had, has had to get the same testing done, because I have enough integrity and respect for my own body to make sure I will be safe... in addition to using protection (as it's not 100%). I am putting in the energy and work into being open to everything...that said, intuitively there would need to be enough of a connection, to omit any bonding issues, and to be long-term enough to bother getting the testing done....I would still just like more hugs, or to hold hands with a friend like we're little Japanese school girls, etc....lol....

So, for me, amazing relationships and incredible sex have ALWAYS been induced by an energetic connection, not situations that are limited to physical attraction, primal urges etc. If it takes me years to meet someone I truly connect with, I easily and intentionally go without sex...until the new connection comes along. The few times I have been with someone with no connection, or a very limited one, it was pretty valueless for me. Sex can be incredible for everyone, and some are able to experience great enjoyment with only physical attraction, or even any other human, regardles of anything...lol...I have experinced the conscious side of sex in an evolutionary sense, and it's, wow! I don't really want anything else. That said, I didn't realize that my current waiting period is more extreme. As a result of some more recent trauma (always being denied hugs/ kisses in my last relationship). I have been neurotically/unintentionally going without ANY affection from ANYONE beyond 2 second greeting/goodbye friend hugs! Obviously I give and receive lots of hugs and snuggles with my child, but that's the only person! The other night, I had someone that just held me all night, full body hugged me, held my hands, stroked my hair, squeezed my arms, etc...With no lacivious intention, they intuitivly gave me the affection that I had no idea how much I was lacking!!! In my past "waiting between connection phases", I still snuggled with my friends on the couch etc, I just forgot lately that we need physical affection like food, and water! It was like I had a spare battery in my heart that I forgot about, it's finally re-charged!!! I've seriously gone about 3 years without any real physical affection, wtf? I have no interest in sex, unless I meet someone rad.That said I do need, real-extended hugs, cuddles, etc. Is it best to ask my existing friends for this, or is that weird after being so cold for so long? Those cuddle groups people go to always seemed like something that would turn creepy like mass unwanted groping by the pervz, or something....lol...? Does anyone have any experience or ideas? Now, please go off and joyfully hug someone extensively!

There appears to be a continuous stream of pick up posts here, mostly asking, should they do it. So, Here's my take, once and for all: Pickup is inherently predatory in nature. Regardless which gender is initiating, it's not a high consciousness activity... that said, each person must find their own path for evolution, and it *Apparently* helps some people gain confidence when other methods aren't working for them... decide for yourself, with your heart ( not your mind or other body parts... lol) what is best for you! Love your self regardless of pickup, love yourself first!

When Leo spoke about the lack of respect with throwing hypothetical cigarette butts into beautiful sand art, it was on a different topic.... but it represents integrity to me regardless. Recently, I have had an unfortunate series of events with a couple of individuals not just throwing a butt into my temple, but actually squatting down and shitting in it, spreading this shit (their dysfunction) in a chaotic manner through the beautiful rainbow Mandela of sand art that is the sanctuary of my life. At first I thought perhaps it was my Ego, as that seems likely.... but I now feel that Leo's description of how the monks would react to such disrespect to their work and integrity is actually the reaction we all deserve (maybe not the beating up, but definitely the *kicking out*). From Leo's video on dealing with toxic people, we learned that we can attempt to talk to people about the issues in a compassionate way, to try and work out the issues (before it comes to banishing). In this case, my multiple attempts to have my basic human need for respect met, resulted in further toxicity spewed at me directly, also intentionally & admittedly behind my back. I knew from the beginning that I do not need to "defend myself" to get the respect that I deserve, yet I tried that very unsuccessfully a few times anyway. I now understand 100% that I have too much integrity to give those that do not seem worthy of my trust, more of the intimate details of my life (when they continue to twist my words into something else, to use as weapons against me). My requests for privacy, and for them to stop spreading rumours, pretending to know my thoughts, feelings and intentions did not provide the boundary I had hoped for. It gave them more power to make further inaccurate assumptions and spread them as my truth. They twisted distancing myself, into "you must be hiding, dishonest" etc. None of my compassionate efforts, extremely loving gestures and words have had any positive effect. I understand now why those hypothetical monks would not have attempted to reason with the disrespectful, they would have simply kicked them out. We deserve to speak our own truths while being treated with respect and integrity, regardless of ego's similar desire. Including these two (separately lovely, together = a toxic codependent couple), I've now had to "banish" 4 individuals from the sanctuary of my life. There is one member of this couple that it is extremely painful to banish, formerly one of my best friends. If she could somehow see how her assumptions about my character are the opposite of my truth/reality, that her assumptions are totally inaccurate....everything would be cool again.... As that does not seem within my capabilities, I choose my integrity - banishment. I support people on the forum all the time, reminding them that we will likely eventually evolve to tolerate others dysfunction/ low consciousness. That said if they are throwing butts into our rad sand-art, we don't have to tolerate it. We will find people that DO respect us, treat us with integrity, give us the benefit of the doubt, etc. There are over 7 billion people in the world, and more people waking up to higher consciousness everyday!

@Deep @Kaity Yes, I can hug anyone, people, dogs, whoever! Our culture is pretty ridiculous though. If I hug another female friend they simply let go after 2 seconds max, many people tell me they " don't like hugs" (that must be neurosis), or clearly indicate energetically- that is the maximum hugging (2 sec) they can tolerate with a couple of quick taps to my shoulder, etc. Before, when I was naturally really affectionate, it would not have felt creepy if I hugged people more often/ longer... This reminds me of the "overly-desiring-type-guy" posts about pick up for sex... these guys are often struggling because they come off as too needy to attain the sex they want....I have not felt needy for affection...I had quite intentionally (& neurotically) distanced myself from it....but the result is now the same.... and I'm not sure how to got back to integrating regular physical affection as "normal" again. Ideas? @STC I totally didn't mean to give you a negative reputation, it was meant to be positive. There is something with the forum system... most of the time it tells me "you are not allowed to give a reputation" which is what it tells me when I try to change the one I gave you....i will try to change it again next time I log in....i'm super sorry!

@Joel Case Personally, I agree that yes, there are evolutionary solutions to the problems for humanity that are based in technology...but also.... great advancements that will occur with some level of release from it.... more connection to nature...without/ and beyond technology!.....

Thanks everybody! I totally didn't mean to start a battle.... if that's what happened... hard to tell with this one, if it's just different opinions, or if anyone's actually upset.... anyway.... the one thing I'd like to add is about the "Negs" mentioned above @electroBeam. Regardless if you find negs effective, or not.... It is much better for your own integrity, the woman's self-love, and the evolution of humanity/the universe as a whole if instead of negs, you give authentic expressions instead! Thanks, hope this helps...

@Kaity Thank you soooooo much, this means so much to me! I adore when someone leans their head on me, and it totally has that beautiful day effect on me too. In coercive control, the abuser is usually trying to force affection and sex on the partner. In my case it was more powerful to deny it. Affection was so natural for me, that it took hundreds of rejections of my hello/goodbye/goodnight hugs and kisses before I broke. I realize that western culture has various cuddle-neurosis (men & men, adults & children, etc)...but this fear of "affection- rejection" neurosis is new for me. In my last (terribly dysfunctional) relationship, I was continually told that I wasn't deserving of hugs/kisses. Consciously, I have recovered enough to know that I am deserving... but there are lingering barriers to regular affection for me. Some are societally triggered in others, but there is a real awkwardness with myself now too....mostly because I have gone years without it. What do you recommend, to bring physical affection back into my life again without having to be sexual with "randomz"... lol...? I can visualize the incredible bliss when this physical connection is a part of my life again, yes, it's amazing and powerful like you said! Thanks Kaity!

Looking for advice on increasing my LOVE frequency...also would this automatically diminish my overbearing fear frequency....or, are there additional techniques to evolve beyond fear that I could also work on (in tandem or separately), to create an increased LOVE frequency alignment....Are there specific ways to get in touch with my natural higher resonance? Thanks!

@cetus56 Yes, it's great! I found that book at the library about 6 months ago... I was using it for forgiveness....but it likely has benefit for this work too....I will check it out again soon, thanks! Love ya!

Sorry for the misunderstanding...I was talking about friends/ their family etc, that I DO have a close bond with...that's what I meant by "feel comfortable with" I could have said "feel REALLY comfortable with"....many European people I know (male and female) kiss both my cheeks, hug for minutes instead of seconds, etc....just more affectionate....I didn't mean to offend you....straight guys, even married ones still cuddle other male and female people....it is normal....and yes, of course I do know the difference.... when something else is going on...it's super obvious...it's stigma that is the issue here.....for example....my friend was cuddling her 12 yr old son on the couch, as they has done since he was born, someone came to visit, and their insecurity about how others may misinterpret them stopped them from ever cuddling each other again! Without societal stigma, moms would be platonically hugging their sons indefinitely....cuddling IS normal regardless of sex, race, age, etc!!!

@Scarecrow I tried it once, and found it too time consuming....and impersonal....that said...I did meet some people that I could have been friends with if they were perhaps less desperate...when we didn't connect in a romantic way, from my perspective, i'd genuinely offer friendship....it was usually met with "I already have enough friends I only want you as a girlfriend" type thing....my experience aside, I know some people that this online dating approach works well for...ask yourself the questions @ajasatya posed....and also why you are considering online, do you typically communicate best in writing? etc...personally I'd rather meet a stranger in person, on the phone, or even video rather than having to type something....with no tone of voice, inflection, expressions etc...I find there is too much misinterpretation with text...especially if you are looking to actually connect with someone, there is very little energy exchange online....I hope you meet someone rad....force yourself to be bold in person too! Love!

@STC Yes, I am saying that, of course!!!...cuddling, hugging, even basic kissing (cheek, hand, quick mouth, etc) are normal human behaviours that can be engaged in by everyone with no underlying licentiousness (think of little kids, Europeans/ other cultures that don't grow up with the same influences)! I have (until recently) cuddled with pretty much anyone I'm comfortable with that's sitting next to me watching a movie, or concert or something! Male, female, gay, straight, their parents, their kids, whatever....it is instantly obvious when someone misinterprets cuddle intentions, and easy enough to discontinue at that point...lol....With an open mind....you may have a point....I could continue my re-entry into affection with my hetero-female friends, gay male friends, etc...just in case my creepy radar is diminished right now...lol....

Thank you! @cetus56

Thanks, Joey!... but that was Chopra, not me... I'm not a mystic YET... lol.... so true, everything you said. I hope this will expand and evolve for others too!

Truth at ALL costs, or TRUE Karma! OMG, I have now, through vivid personal experience...learnt this intense lesson! As usual, Leo is right! Real "mystic" evolution will require TRUTH AT ALL COSTS...with complete conviction, regardless of any side effects...That was a fucking amazing, and incredibly fucked up (but luckily still beautiful) 40th/NYE/NYD! I also understand the concept that deception based on fear, for percieved "protection" is irrational, incongruent to the natural function of the universe, and lacking personal integrity. Totally! Still,I struggle with integrating this holistically. For example: If you know that witholding or altering the truth will prevent major drama, further trauma to yourself and/or others, your stability, etc...how do you become courageous enough to fully uphold this ultimate truth? My main transformational take away to share is: when you see the dark-side of humanity clearly reflected in the toxic behaviour of some people, keep your eyes open...because stunning authentic individuals are around too, helping with a real sense of community, loving unconditionally, respecting you truly! Thank the universe that there are conscious individuals co-existing sustainably here on earth as well! My other take away is about the power of GRATITUDE, please do not underestimate this shit! Here's an example, from my 40th. Every single person I included in my gratitude practice, was there! Not JUST contributing, but performing for free, creating amazing art for free, setting up, lending equiptment, loving unconditionally, supporting, cheering, etc... With those that I perhaps took for granted, and did not include, it was a VERY different experience!

@Arman I have no idea how to express in words how much gratitude I have for this!!! I experienced the EXACT same thing with Teal Swan's technique, which was initially VERY helpful, but I also had to give up due to perpetuation of darkness! Admittedly I am going to have to read tour response in solitude, a few times, before I can grasp everything you are saying fully. Sure, I will PM you once I grasp it, and if I have more questions, thanks so much!

@OhHiMark So true..." ignorance is bliss" ......or is it?....

@Dodoster yes, I actually discovered my internal love frequency using a different Hz meditation frequency.... but I've been using 528 Hz in attempts to attain it again, thanks! @Wormon Blatburm love it! I remember being at a consciousness workshop and asking for a few examples of specific things I could do to connect with source consciousness....I was expecting "endless meditation" etc,... but his lovely answer was simplicity, similar to yours...." walk around with your eyes open" etc,...I must be over complicating things again... lol.... thanks, those are wonderful suggestions...

For me, most things are better with music/ sound anyway.... and using lyric based music for meditation could generate more thought stories.... so these frequencies are perfect.... maybe they are training wheels.... but even if you could generate those states without the beats... these rad sounds could still enhance the experience further...I can't picture ever giving them up willingly myself...... but I'm sure I probably said something like that about my training wheels at some point too... lol...