Epiphany_Inspired

I am not a doctor, and can't make a diagnosis....but what I can say is ...that you likely wouldn't have asked this/ be on this forum, if you didn't want to evolve...right? I can also say, that it's my experience that much of society has these types of addictions and behaviours...it does not mean that they are not destructive....just that you may not be some extremely odd example of humanity....I personally do not agree with mental institutions and pharma- drugs for the mind in general. In fact at least 1/2 of these "symptoms" could be the result of gut- disbiosis. Would you be willing to try a few things for 60 days? *Reduce to minimum, sugar and processed foods (no fast food, diet soda etc), eat more raw fruit/ veg (no sugar in coffee, tiny raw honey ok) *Take strong pro-biotics from a health-food store, or eat unsweetened keifer/ sauerkraut/ etc 3 times a day *Take a supplement like Empower Plus (something with strong minerals etc ...one meant for people with mental function issues) *Walking in, and appreciating, Nature

I have never heard of this...but Qi/Chi Gong is very respected for centuries, and if you've ever tried it, you can feel the shifting of energy, it's fucking awesome...I have no idea what this other thing is...cult?....if you really can turn your gut into magical golden energy ,that's rad....but I know people that have been taken in by cults...and that's pretty scary...I'd say try Qi-gong to start, and do some more research...if it works for you let me know...I'd love to send healing across oceans and live for hundreds of years, seriously, if it's true, bring it on! http://www.facts.org.cn/QandA/200711/t69242.htm

Hot bath w/ Epsom salts, Himalayan salt, baking soda, and a few drops of a good essential oil like ylang-ylang or lavender...

@Visitor Yes, those are awesome! Totally, keep it up! I think art can definitely be used for self-healing in this way, wonderful! The concern I have...What I meant by using art-therapy to psycho-analyze...it actually happened to me, and I know many doctors do actually use it that way... so, use caution. When I was a teenager we had some schizophrenic friends (most now dead/ suicides) and my boyfriend saw some similarities with me...all eccentric artists. He wanted me to go to a psychologist to check. Of course, I passed her tests, not bi-polar/ or schizophrenic, but one thing did really concern her. She asked me to do some "art-therapy" and had me draw a self portrait...she didn't care that I warped my face, almost as if it was melting, for fun, but she was really concerned that I had drawn a large black "ominous" top hat on my head. It took me about half an hour to explain that I really did own a hat like that, often wore it, and why I liked it. She assumed it was a symbol of severe depression! This happened to me in art school too, teachers that want to inflict their meaning on to my art....so, I just wanted to warn others to do this independently, or with someone supportive...not as a way for doctors to project their random shit onto you... Your story, and how your mom was not involved has given me some personal insight...my mom would actually try to stop/ getting hurt herself instead...if she was home...although having no involvement would have been worse...it was really hard to bare/ felt guilt, etc... she worked full-time plus had multiple activities. so, in essence, it's similar to what you experienced too...I had not seen that side of it until your post, so thanks...

@Visitor Thanks so much..."only with a loving heart", so true! Thanks! @Annie Yes, it's very much like Kinesiology....for example, it's the same way PSYCH-K uses muscles in your arm to speak with your subconscious... I've been doing some experiments since posting this to try and determine if it's intuition or subconscious...it seems like it can be both...I am usually very intuitive, but I can get disconnected when I'm overwhelmed...it seems that you can use a pendulum to tap into some intuition that may currently be clouded, if you have the right mindset...there is also a connection with your subconscious...like in kinesiology, and fear etc can effect your responses...that said, you can ask if fear is effecting the response...and what the response would be if you were 100% courageous instead....the trick is being intuitive enough without it, to know when the shadows of your lesser consciousness are effecting your responses....it's works like magic with smaller choices...but...I had hoped to get some guidance with a larger choice, and I've found that both paths get the same response...so far...but perhaps, it's only a matter of finding the right questions...or finding another way to decide....thanks!

Yes...but to be honest it's weird if you come from a professional art background...still. my most recent experience with it was wonderful...it was during the second to last workshop I attended...and what helped me the most is really silly, but true....it was the crayons...lol....the way they can't make a perfect line no matter how steady your hand is...the childhood connection....the freedom...it's bizarre the unexpected things that come out...and the interpretations... That said, I personally believe art therapy, like ALL art is a personal experience, up to the creator of it to give meaning. it's ok for others to offer insights, but I don't think it should be used as a tool to psycho-analyze anyone...just be expressive, enjoy!

I have a friend that operated a healing center with this practice. I see great beauty and benefit with this connection to nature, elements, and energy.

Leo's new insight about savouring the present moment was awesome. I'm sure he won't need as much time management when his time is truly enjoyed. This matched what I had just re-learned in a positive psychology workshop, and what I've known since reading the Power of Now (why it's always the first book I recommend). Also, I've noticed the more I am able to savour life's current moments, the more I'm able to hold on, and stay aboard what I call "The Synchronicity Train". I go through phases, when I'm on board, everything in life flows, even if something negative happens the solution presents it's self miraculously, or you bump into just the right person at the right moment, etc...on and on like that, like perfect links in the chain of life...but I always fall off this train...it's difficult not to get distracted... Some techniques for savouring use mindful morsels of food, slowly appreciated. I find personally, I best savour Nature, certain experiences, (and dark chocolate...lol..). It's hard to savour *everything*...For example: is Leo's video editing *savour worthy* because of the final result...or, is there a way to make tedious things awesome? I know there is...I've done it...like a ridiculous line up where I can get the bitter/ impatient folks around me laughing and having fun together instead...but how would you do this holistically in life...I have so much gratitude...but perhaps not enough yet...other techniques or ideas?

@Ray Former animator, huge Miyazaki fan...agreed...if more of our time was spent enjoying, with the wonder and awe of childhood life would sparkle!

Yes, this work is super important...I don't wish to be the barer of this news...but I'm afraid it will take much more than one sitting...there are some really cool techniques for working with your inner child...hopefully Leo will do a video someday...one of my favorites, other than the visualizations, is when you have an emotion, you can use your non-dominant hand to write messages from the child...really insightful....

There are times when it energetically feels like the modern equivalent of watching Buffalo Springfield play *For what it's worth* ("stop children what's that sound") *live for the first time*...and on occasion, we are actually present for these experiences (not just watching a video after the fact)! There are so many visionary performers, writers, artists, teachers/ speakers, etc... at this time. I have noticed many people choosing the comforts of home; missing out on these opportunities. Within a few days of each other, I just saw (for only $15 each): an incredible, revolutionary musical performance...one that invoked great awareness, inspired purpose, and called us to action in a ridiculously delightful way...plus one of the top 100 most spiritual people still living speak, also live...her words were clear in meaning, solid in weight, pure in heart, shimmering in inspiration, and totally devoted to our purposes. (Maybe I will do another post on these messages later). I live in a rural rainforest. I traveled to a small city, and another small town for these history worthy experiences. If you live in a big city, imagine what you may be missing...if there are no towns or cities near you, perhaps you can make your own history...regardless of where we are, we can experience, or make our own , profound experiences...alone, or with others... much of it has to do with the eye of the beholder...the ability to see the significance, the ability to savour it, with a willingness to learn and grow...thoughts?

@philosogi @Emerald I've realized, with self-honesty, that my self-efficacy still needs major work...both extensive upgrades and massive restorations.... a person with good self-efficacy would not be asking you these questions. Thanks so much for your time and insights!

This is my self-love, life purpose, and mastery nemesis. @Socrates. I have not overcome it remotely...but... I know some things that help: For the self: #1. Cultivate acceptance (bulldozing through to anti-perfectionism at this point is only suppression) #2. Commit to dreams regardless of it (it's better to do something flawed than nothing at all) #3. Find baby step methods of willfully surpassing it (the beast won't realize it's loosing strength if it's broken down by toothpicks rather than swords) For judgement of others: #1. See them as their hurt inner children #2. Cultivate not giving a shit/ tolerance/ compassion #3. Re-invoke how judgement has felt for you, especially other's inaccurate assumptions..."do unto others", even in thought...

@WaterfallMachine No, I have too much to discover there to have anymore questions yet...my ignorance & the sheer scope of this, has left me feeling like there is so much more to learn before I could even conceive of something more to ask...thanks so much for everything! I especially love the list of ways to find large paradigms! Awesome! I feel like I mostly had theories before....and it's like you've given me the whole formula, and a how to road-map, thanks...an over-simplification is like: worldviews + beliefs + values + biases + assumptions + motivations + fears + aspirations/ admirations + attractions + spiritual orientation + envies + dislikes + culture + actions + stereotypes + etc... = large bubbles So, if I actually get to the point where I can complete that equation personally....I hope I can actually distill it down into the all encompassing singularity...to the point where I can recognize it as a total unification, possibly name it, and begin it's transformation....thanks! Yes, it's likely when liberated folk must put on their ego suits, they put on a mask or two as well....but consciously....

I just spent a bunch of time asking important questions (to me anyway) on those subjects, only to have all of what I typed gone... again...It's happened a few times, where I get signed out even though I'm still on the forum....then go to post....all work gone....dear admin person, can you rescue it? If not, I'll try to type it all out again later....thanks!

@aryberry Thank you truly, yes, that was my question, thanks. Anyone else reading this thread in the future, that's a good non-situation specific answer, also the shift mentally answer from @dorg. @philosogi I wish I knew for certain...mind vs. soul...my soul has always been drawn/connected to this other place, and I experienced a lot of synchronicity, like-minded connection, and motivation there...but I went there equally as a journey for growth, and as an escape...the other location is known for it's creative, passionate, hardworking people, as well as it's open-minded, free-spirited culture....and those all suit my soul quite well....it is good for children in many ways...also difficult for them in others...and my soul must choose for 2....I have a strong desire to escape too....how can one tell...mind/ fear vs soul? and if it may be a bit of both, how do you find which holds more weight? @dorg: Sadly, I'm dealing with actual toxicity (not just my lens, it's official). He's purchased a home 5 minutes away, which would be lovely if it was just for good co-parenting, but....the proximity is currently unhealthy regardless of my ability to adapt/ tolerate, etc... you can only change your own behaviour...yes, good with the child directly...but indirectly... he appears to be oblivious of the effects of dysfunction on a child...I have no way of knowing if this will ever change...so far, it's been years and it has only become worse... @Emerald Hope your birthday was awesome, that's my fav sushi too. I ended it, for good, long ago....never going back...but when you have a child, you are stuck connected... good idea, but I do not have the opportunity to try something else out. I cannot afford rent (plus there is a massive shortage there anyway), and keep my land. I would have to sell, and undertake a massive ordeal to move to a new permanent home (I am more of a homesteader, than a nomad....grow food, etc)...that said, we can do a camping trip there, or something...Yes, I want to limit the amount I have to spend interacting with his dysfunction. My intention, if I were to move, would not be based in trying to limit the other parents time, it would be for my freedom, and what I decide is in our best interest...the other location would still allow for time with the other parent...but a bit less... I do love my current home too, I am very connected to the nature here...I never planned to leave...I am shocked I am considering it....Am I feeling forced out, or considering a empowering choice? how do I discern?

@WaterfallMachine I think you are probably correct about the bubbles, and it helped me to understand: It seems like there must be a large bubble, with the smaller bubbles within. It seems like popping the large bubble would be more difficult than popping smaller ones (unless you could drastically shift your entire perspective). I also think you are likely right about what the big bubble is: the totality of our view on reality....I have a shitload of small bubbles, but I'm uncertain how determine what the big one is even with your definitions. When you mentioned the higher goals...is it a higher consciousness ideal that we've just distorted through ego, or more of a low conscious survival based interpretation of desires - believing it's of higher service? You seem to have an eye for bubbles. I am struggling, like the roles (too many/ quite diverse). I guess finding the big bubble is about developing the ability to see the entire distortion created by the whole pair of glasses, rather than looking at the issues with each individual "tinted" lens...the issue is when you mix the blue, red, & yellow lenses...it's like looking through murky mud/ pretty hard to see clearly...looking through them or at them.... As far as art appreciation & relationships: I think Leo said something about how sometimes our bubbles serve each other, but if they contradict, the ego has a way of bridging the gaps with self reasoning. For example as an artist, I am terrible with that, I can't seem to check out a library book for my daughter if I really don't like the illustrations...but my choices in relationships often have less to do with appearance and are more about the "story"/ connection (the last one was an unfortunate exception...lol...). I can see how my mind could bridge these type of gaps- In practicing mindfulness, it's ridiculous how I can make anything seem reasonable in my world, if I want to, or need to... to maintain my perceptions. Yeah, totally, everything seems to be a paradigm...but my intuition and optimism lead me to believe that something better must exist beyond them...

SQUEEEEE! Thank you soooooo much actualization team, whomever fixed the issue of all our work disappearing if we get signed out! My computer just crashed, and when I logged back in my comment was still there, this is awesome! Thank you amazing technical wizard!

@Treeves4u Love it! Perfect examples! @Shin Totally, I need to put that on my fridge or something! @Anirban657 Thank you for this thread. That Truth Warrior guy I found for you lives in BC, like me, and has awesome videos that seem in sync with Leo (hero's journey, etc)...actually I bet they'd be friends...more than Leo and Teal or something...lol...actually, who knows...lol...anyway, it ended up that I also benefited from sharing that with you... that super quick google, has now provided me with hours worth of awesome learning! Thanks! Were you looking into martial arts too? I've only done a little fencing and capoeira...so far....

@philosogi My wings may be a little clipped because I have a child, and would never give her up to move (unfortunately, I'd have to request it through a judge and make a good enough case). My gut is not currently functioning as a accurate barometer (overwhelmed)....that's why I posed the question...your siblings that are "able to deal", are they *thriving* compared to you? If not, do you believe this is because they stayed, or because they aren't motivated to thrive? @dorg I get what you are saying, but can you be more specific in terms of physical and mental changes. For example, is it more beneficial to remain physically but shift mentally, or move physically and shift mentally. I think you are saying that the mental shift can happen regardless of location that anywhere can become the mental realm....but, is one choice superior in attaining a mental realm? more swiftly? Is a mental realm easier to create in a new location or current location?

A Blissful Birthday to you Leo! May it be so joyful that you can't help but throw random things in the air with sheer excitement, in the moment! The gift I offer you today is my immense gratitude: in words, in spirit, and in energy truly sent to you with wholehearted love, appreciation, and respect! Forum: I loved all of the creative wishes, awesome work everyone! I'll do something next year. Remind me. (card is not my photo, and I have no idea about the religious contex)

@Loreena , @Emerald , @Annetta , @My_Name_Is_Mud Thank you all. I have always felt safe to share my deepest thoughts n on this forum...but, because of things that Mud brought up, such as slander, etc. I feel hesitant to discuss all of the details, also, I "may" still be experiencing it. Plus, other actualizers may have experienced victimization in a repeating form too (regardless, it could be sexual, physical. emotional, etc ...it's all violence...). I have been stalked a couple of times in the past, in the typical way we think of: following around/ showing up / calling, etc...You just get a restraining order, and it's usually all good. What I "may" be experiencing now is more insidious; I wasn't aware this form of stalking even existed until I recently read the legal definition and the effects on the "victim" and was horrified by the "apparent" accuracy. I swear to you Mud this is about security not revenge. My concerns are exactly what you mentioned, that it could be misconstrued, if authorities don't "get it"....and could actually escalate what "seems" like terrorization if they don't help or just give a warning that could aggravate the "apparent" aggressor further. I will be asking for help either way, (thank you @Emerald for helping me understand that it's just a label). How would I know if it's in my highest interest to go the police route instead of court? I have been utterly shocked by the typical reaction I get from professionals and some of my friends: blame/ others assuming I may have provoked it , or not understanding the extent, and repetitive/ cumulative nature of the "apparent" terrorization. Also parts of my personal-development-self may have been hindering getting help because I *SO* don't want to be a victim.... I want to be moving on to goals etc,*SO* badly that it left me unprepared for each next "potential" incident.....and I've been *SO* into taking responsibility...I was taking more than my share...

@My_Name_Is_Mud Exactly, I totally get that, so true! This is precisely the difference that I was trying to explain; between the victim mentality, and the actual victim events (in the first paragraph). I truly appreciate your perspective, thank you. Obviously the brave, forward moving person has the more joyful life! Let me re-phrase my questions: When the acts of violence (like stalking, or assault, etc) are happening continuously, and regardless of the desire to move on to goals and not let the violence stand in the way....it keeps happening...it's forced consistent actual victimization (not just a "poor me" re-living of the past). How can these extended victimizations be surpassed the same way an isolated event can (both internally and externally/ physical world)? and... If authorities need to be involved, they are not likely to help a person wanting to move on with their goals and put it behind them. Must a person go into "poor pitiful me" mode to get assistance from authorities like police, lawyers, etc? How can the cultural roadblocks (such as victim blaming, denial of support, etc) be surpassed to get the assistance often needed to fully embody the stage you mentioned: (going out and accomplishing while not letting anything bad that once happened to them stand in their way)?

TRUTH: For me...it's free of delusion, free of the ego's rationale, it's what really is - if you could take off the glasses with lenses made of your tinted perceptions. (make sense?) If not, see Bruce Lipton's work, look into how our past experiences, traumas, etc, create "lenses" that distort truth. Here's an epistemology description: "We never access reality because we can never get outside our own beliefs to do so. Our beliefs function as filters that keep reality (if such a thing exists) beyond us." THE CALL: For me...the call is more than a half-assed attempt at actualization. The call is waking up to why you are here, what you are meant to do, accepting the call to follow that path while being willing to go without, break ties, suffer the reality of actually fully experiencing our emotions, etc basically whatever it takes to FULLY accept the inner journey, and any external consequences. Defeating yourself: For me...I believe this is a battle that CAN always be won, the challenge is not - if it's possible, but if you are TRULY willing!

I believe you are asking how to become a warrior of truth, rather than a physical warrior, is that correct? If so, here are some things I have learnt from personal experience, though I am barely the lass that carries the spare sword at this stage...lol...: - persistence, without loosing confidence is key - fear is not a shield, and courage will inevitably be victorious - the strength of the entire universe is available, you can connect to it by drawing it in - they ability to connect to an innate knowing, while pushing aside or overcoming the ego's rationale is crucial - making a commitment to that path is an absolute necessity I just googled it, and came across a website that looks just right for you. It appears to be about both, martial arts, and personal development & truth. Here's a link and a quote: "The story of the Warrior is twofold. It is a story of heroes, and equally of tyrants. One side is a story of those striving to perfect methods of achieving self mastery and preserving peace and harmony in the world, and for others, a story of violence, subjugation, empire expansion, domination, unjust war, and totalitarian conquest. The story we have been told, the definition of terms, and the overall perspective we have in the present day of what the Warrior is has been mostly focused on the latter. The history of the Warrior was mainly handed down to us by the various empires and elite classes that dominated in their day. The true and complete version has mostly been lost and in my opinion, has been purposely wiped from our collective memory in many respects. It is thanks to those brave ones throughout history who have carefully preserved this body of knowledge that we are able to piece this together, to learn from the past, and to re-awaken the spirit of the warrior in our modern time where it most desperately needs to return." http://www.wayofthetruthwarrior.com/truth-warrior.html