Thanks Leo and all of you guys for giving me feed backs, they all make sense and doesn't. We communicate and none of us don't know each other well, The point is that i am a little bit disappointed at life , and despite the comment that you guys find my approach sound needy , for sure I am not !
For the last maybe 20 years i am working on myself, from taking classes, seminars, meditation retreats, reading books ( sometimes 4 at the same time) i especially the last 3 years 4 or 5 hours on youtube, watching only spirituality, philosophy and ,,, i was so hungry to know why and i loved and enjoyed it, till i watched Leo Video about awakening, i got so scared and depressed that i even posted some comments on thas topic but no response.
Anyhow I know law of attraction exist because many years ago without me knowing about it , i could manifest anything i wanted but now everything stopped, something doesn't make sense ! help:)