Lenny

@SQAAD The God that you speak of arises out of you, the Truth. What if love could be so big that it left some wiggle room for evil and suffering? There is so much love here that evil is allowed to play. Evil is nursed in the womb of Love and allowed to become all that it wishes to be, fully supported by Love. The same love that you are. You arise out of this love. Down to earth talk now lol: Love is reality. Love is the potentiality. Love is fully accepting - no matter what. You are that which allows "you" as ego (as mind phenomenon, imagination) to arise. That which is spoken through mind is not "it", but is still itself. Let's have a closer look at the opposite of evil for your conditioned mind (that which you call you)... love. The love that is True is so big that our limited senses are unable to perceive it. You cannot perceive yourself as this love. Love is the pure subject of perception, it is not the object of perception. Imagine a love that allows the imagination of its limited self.. The love of the conditioned mind, to arise and thrive.. Peace and love dude Lenny

@Joker_Theory No worries dude! I'm happy that I helped

I'm really not sure dude. @Carl-Richard might have it. My first thought is that you are somehow manipulating your counciousness/perception. Does your thinking change it or influence it in some way?

@VeganAwake Also, can't wait to be spanked

@VeganAwake Thank you for clarifying that dude. Sometimes it's hard to cover all of the angles for understanding.

@Dylan Page Hi Dylan, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. It sounds like you're going through a form of the dark night of the soul. For what you are going through, I think it'll be good to keep it simple. Here is an exercise that you can try and if you would like to keep reading on you can (I've put some more complex ideas after which may cause more confusion - hopefully not): Find somewhere quiet to sit (not necessary, but may help you to focus). Close your eyes and focus on the energy that is accompanying the confusion. From here, place your mind aside for the moment. It doesn't need to be long, just for a little while. By "the mind", I mean thoughts, notions, ideas, concepts (forms that can be held in your perception with your eyes closed). Now, just sit there with the "feeling" of confusion, without adding an interpretation of what it is. Don't wish it to go away. Here we are searching for Truth, so, if it stays then we may have found something important. If it goes itself, then we will let it go. The important thing here is to not add any interpretation on what is occurring in the body. You may even recognise this energy/feeling as something that is very familiar to you and takes many forms, whether that be frustration, confusion, sadness, etc. So, just watch. Once you have placed the mind aside for some time, you may even like to imagine pouring love over it and asking it to get bigger. Say: "it's ok, you can stay if you like. Show me what you've got" (something like this with a calmness/openness). You can also try this thought experiment: Imagine that you have to cross a river. You stand on the bank of one side. But, this is not like any other ordinary river. In order to get to the other side of this river, you have to leave everything that you can think of on the bank where you stand and then cross. You have to leave your imagination at your feet and then cross the river. Here is some food for thought that might assist if you have a proclivity for the mind-stuff, like me. If we truly believe that we know nothing, then how do we know that this is a bad thing? If the basis of our understanding is flawed, then how can we claim to know/understand what this means for us? I have experienced this and it was very difficult for me to see that the perception of what this "confusion" was, was the problem. It seems as though the mind is always trying to resolve something, a question or curiosity, in the form of an energy potential, like the charge in a storm cloud, is suspended and waits for its release. It seeks a resolve. It's funny, but when you think about it, this resolve can come in any form, even if it is a false or incorrect answer or finding. It could come in the form of the kettle boiling or the toast popping lol. The cause for suffering, in these types of cases, is the unfulfilled desire to "find it". If you are looking for the Self, it will not come to you as an object of your perception. So, in this sense, let us focus on what is doing the "looking", not what is seen. Now, after my year and a half of spiritual work (coupled with some awakening experiences), I can remain in a state of confusion and be completely fine. Confusion does not impact my Being. The confusion is like a energy that is in me as awareness or space (best way to describe it) The confusion is there but there is no interpretation of what it is. Sometimes, I might dismiss it as the mind trying to find/seek a resolve. I know that this seeking of knowledge is a form arising from Truth/reality. That which I am, but I cannot see. We are not able to "see" or perceive our true self. It's the one doing the "seeing" or perceiving. You as thought, knowledge, memory, imagination, etc. will appear in the gaze/space of the Self. So, don't go looking for yourself, you are yourself looking at what you are not, your conditioning. You are the Self looking at the mind, and somehow it is tricked into "thinking" or "believing" it's the mind and it's forms. Let me know if this helps. Know that the goal of all spiritual practises is to become silent. If we are trying to conceptualise and think about awakening and enlightenment, we are ultimately trying to reach the silence. The silence that we are but cannot hear. Peace and love dude Lenny

@Matmilew That's pretty cool. Do you feel that you are light or are you watching yourself in the mirror as light? Is the light a object in your perception? Something you can see with your eyes? I have had similar experiences but yours, from what you desribe, seems more vivid. Lenny

@Joker_Theory I have experienced very similar things whilst meditating and sometimes, just lying in bed. What would you like guidance on? Also, when you say that you are trying to "find consciousness". What do you mean? The thought "I'm tyring to find consciousness" is a form of consciousness. Which means that you have found it. I imagine, what you are tyring to look for is pure un-manifest consciousness, which cannot be seen as an object of your perception. The "you" that is trying to look for consciousness is also a form of consciousness - it has manifested into a thought-form that is trying to find its source. So, it's like this: You as the pure un-manifest consciousness (no-thing, ultimate Truth, pure consciousness) {that which you cannot see} manifests as a less-pure form of consciousness (the identity of self) that is looking for itself. If you were to say: "Ah. I've done it. I've found consciousness", this would be a thought-form appearing in the "space" of pure consciousness. Think of pure consciousness as the subject, not the object. You as self (you as you believe you are) will literally become an object in the perception of the Self (pure consciousness). There will be a separation between the self (with a little "s") and the Self (with a capital "S"). This might scare the shit out of you as the self with a little "s". Try this thought experiment: Imagine that you have to cross a river. You stand on the bank of one side. But, this is not like any other ordinary river. In order to get to the other side of this river, you have to leave everything that you can think of on the bank where you stand and then cross. You have to leave your imagination at your feet and then cross the river. Sorry, that's a doozie I came up with the other day lol let me know how you go with it. Peace dude Lenny

@Koeke I am trying to find where the confusion is lying so that I can give you some pointers. I guess I'll try and answer your questions and see if anything comes out that is helpful. "Why? I can change my mind. I'm not sure if enlightenment is worth the trouble. My relationships will suffer if I commit to the path." How do you think that your relationships will suffer? Does the path look long and arduous to you? One where you have to neglect your friends and family? To turn your back on them to turn toward seeking enlightenment? Enlightenment is the easiest thing that you can do. Everything else takes effort. Enlightenment is there before everything else. We could replace the word enlightenment here with the word Truth. Truth is there before everything. Also, what do you think when I say that you cannot know Truth? Even right now, you cannot know it. You will not arrive at Truth. You will not arrive at enlightenment. You can only "be" Truth. You can never "know" Truth. Enlightenment happens when we have resolved a separation. It happens when what you are, and what you “think” you are become one. It’s kinda like this: The idea that you have of yourself will arrive at you as Truth. What you think you were will arrive at you. You were always Truth. Also, I don't take psychedelics and I never have (I was brought up and raised to view all drugs in a bad light and it took many years until I saw through this conditioning, but, this is still a part of my expression of body and mind). But, I have had psychedelic experiences (from my limited understanding of them). I don't want to make them seem not important for anyone’s journey and work. I can see from your first post that you do take them, which means that you have much more experience with them than I do. The way I see it, somewhere, there is an illiterate child sitting in the world, on a pile of dirt, and the Truth is still available to him (it is unfortunate that this may not be his experience though). Actually, I would say that Truth is his experience but he just doesn't know it. He is not really suffering but thinks he is. These things are very hard to convey. I feel that, from what I have heard from Leo and other people who have used them, that psychedelics show you what Truth is in a relative-ness way and can cause spiritual traps. E.g. there is a psychedelic taker who takes this substance, then accesses an altered state of consciousness and experience God (or reality) and then returns with a story of what happened. And points backward and says: "yeah, that's me back there. I know this. But, I'm stuck here for now because of my ego and limiting belief systems." This is where the teacher says: "But isn't the belief in just that: limiting belief systems and ego, the 'problem'?" The movement or manifestation of energy into the thought form "I must remove my ego before I get enlightened," is actually where the ego is hiding. It's hiding in the words. Truth (that which you are) somehow gets "tricked" into being something that it's not. I think it could be that Truth loved what it saw/experiences and then started to "think" that it was what it was looking at (thoughts and other phenomena), rather than "be" what it is. Also, the mind with its limitation cannot understand something it cannot perceive. So, as soon as consciousness takes the form of mind, it gets somehow “stuck”. (I don’t know this for sure, it just seems to be heading that way in terms of my level of understanding through the combination of the pointings of spiritual teachers, contemplation and of my awakening experiences). I don't want to cause you anymore confusion about this, if confusion is arising. I know that what I am saying is somehow being taken in somewhere, subconsciously. I want to make sure that my explanations are clear and cover many doors, so to speak (doors of understanding). "But there are things I should do to get closer to Truth, like Self-Inquiry etc. Can you explain how the confusion comes from this not-seeing?" Being confused about not getting this or not-seeing is arising in that which you are. In that moment, you be that which is "watching" the confusion arise. The Truth that you are doesn't bother itself with the confusion of the mind. The Truth won't endeavour to "resolve" this confusion about itself. You as Truth has watched this confusion arrive, and it will watch it pass. It will watch a seeming "you" pass as not-Truth. I want to try and explain something here and I'll try my best. It came to me one day when I thought about and contemplated how dreams work. It seems that, in our dreams, the whole event adheres to the laws of physics and nature (to some major extent - like we don’t have crazy psychedelic experiences in our dreams about being a mushroom and having hands made of a shape we've never seen before). It's almost as if we cannot dream anything that is not within our experience or imagination. We cannot dream about something that we cannot imagine. This for me was a good take-away for how enlightenment works. We cannot "imagine" God or Truth. It's almost as if the mind (as an energy field of thought forms and images) is a closed-system which cannot perceive anything outside of itself. In the dream state this manifests as an experience of things that we can imagine. In the waking state this manifests as thoughts about our life and the world. For example, we cannot think about something that we cannot think about. We cannot imagine something that we cannot imagine. And right now, we cannot even begin to fathom a life any different to the one we’re experiencing. Why? because we're seemingly, somehow "trapped" inside the closed-system of our minds. In your contemplation you need to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that that same doubt about not being that which you perceive, arises in a perceiving-ness (awareness) of that which you are (that which you cannot perceive). This doubt is arising in you as Truth. (this is very hard to convey with words lol). If we are Truth, and we cannot see Truth. Then, by inference, we are not that which we can perceive, in essence. An effort to “get closer” to Truth is actually taking you further away. Why? Because Truth is what you already are. The seeming “movement” of “you” getting closer to Truth is happening inside you, you as Truth. Can you see where confusion comes? Here we can replace Truth with reality, God, awareness, consciousness.. Nothing. You sense doubt rising from this nothingness. It takes form and builds into a more coherent form of thought about doubt and how you aren't already everything you ever needed to be. This form can take the shape of "I'm not good enough" and "I'm confused about life and how it all fits together" and "I want to work this out so that I can have a more fulfilling life", etc. When you know what you are you still see confusion, but you can see it for what it is. It doesn't move you from what you are. You are not "in it", so to speak. The confusion and the one confused is a "happening" or "event" that happens outside of you as Truth. From an absolute standpoint, we could say that the event happens outside of and inside of you. Maybe a better way to put it is this: the confusion and the one confused is only but a piece of what you are. It's not the whole. It is not you in essence. "Good point. I just want to be a dumb teenager sometimes. I know this won't really satisfy me. Haha, I feel like such a child writing this: "I want to be stupid! And I wanna know the truth! And I want sex!! But what do I need to do!?!?!" = A boiled down version of my thought process." Hahah I know what you mean. I guess we can always let the ego seemingly eclipse what we are. Here when I say ego I just mean that which we think we are. When you say "I know this won't really satisfy me" I can see from this that you will probably continue to strive for enlightenment (try not to build any ideas about what enlightenment is). Instead of striving for enlightenment you can go the other way (toward openness and lovingness). I like to see the movement out of ego as moving along a line, on the far right is faith and openness and going against all beliefs and opening up your arms and love to life in all of its ways. On the far left, is going inward to find what we are through self-enquiry (both directions have their own practices). Ultimately, they take us to the same place. Think about this, it is just as hard for you to open up your arms to life and love it limitlessly (without end) as it is for you to get enlightened through discovery of the Self through self-enquiry. In both cases, something needs to "die". Because in both cases, we think that we will die. If I open up my arms and take in the world for everything that it is and give myself to it completely, if I give myself to God, I might die. Similarly, if I look inward and try to discover what is really here, I might see what I'm not, and I might die. "I sorta grasp what you mean but I can barely 'play' with the understanding, again: confused. What is the reason, then that I shouldn't be on "my mind's" path?" What I wrote there is very advanced in terms of understanding. I would say don't try to work it out. Don't try to place or force my story of the path and how you are the path over what is here and now. In Truth, I am both wrong and right at the same time. So, don't listen to me (in a way of trying to apply it in any way). See how far you come in your enlightenment work and then when you see it you will remember what was said here and it will serve as kind of like a confirmation of your findings. You cannot say that you are that plastic bag blowing in the wind across the road, yet. So, don't try to force it. Try to prove or disprove it. A forcing or effort in the direction of trying to prove or live what I am saying will make things harder and add layers of confusion - if it is not first a part of your own experience. Find this to be a part of your experience. Honestly, in a way, it is so simple that it is too difficult to understand. It is so simple that understanding is not needed, and so, trying to understand it takes us away from it. Trying to understand you will take you away from you. Why? Because you can never understand you. You are too big. Hahah I just see a massive inconsistency and contradiction here: where I wrote "What I wrote here is very advanced in terms of understanding" and then I write "Understanding is not needed". See, this is why it's so hard to describe it and also to find it lol. Maybe it would have been better if I wrote: "What I wrote here is very advanced in terms of experience/knowing/along the path". We cannot understand that which we need to experience. Sometimes we cannot understand that which we have experienced, period. "What thoughts are you referring to? And how do they play-out?" I tend to be very "projecty" in these cases. I cannot experience exactly what you are going through. I can only follow a "compass" of sorts - through a lens of my personal conditioning and what I know. Which is hopefully structured in such a way that it can break through boundaries of communication. The thoughts that I am referring to are: 1. thoughts at all, 2. Thoughts in terms of there being "no rush", 3. Confusion (lots of it, feeling stuck, feelings and thoughts expressing themselves as every shape and pulling me in every direction, counter-thoughts, etc. Basically the whole package of phycological suffering, both subtle and gross forms). Again, I can only speak here from my personal, relative experience of suffering. Maybe we can call them "negative" thoughts, and ones that have no grounding in reality. The thoughts play-out as a type of poking-ness at "I" as ego. The thing that goes unnoticed is that this "poking-ness" and the mind's incompatibility with its own projections, is stirring up enough mud in the water to cause this type of confusion. This confusion isn’t no ordinary confusion. It's not a confusion about what to have for dinner (although it can manifest as this if you don't like the idea of "indecisiveness"). This confusion is an existential confusion. Served to us by God through the wonder of evolution. Don't try to get rid of the confusion. Pour your love onto this confusion. This confusion is serving you and will be a catalyst for your spiritual growth. I hope that this has helped and I am sorry if I caused more confusion. Actually, I might try and simplify this into one expression so that it'll dot the i's and cross the t's, potentially. You are that undisturbed presence. You have never been touched. You are perfect. Only the things that you are not can change. Nothing has ever moved you from this place. You cannot be defined by your mind. A thought can only wish that it can know you. It is so hard for you to see because God loves you now, without being able to see. I am with you. Peace dude Lenny

@marinaaniram I would say: if you don't know if these things are an illusion, then don't act as if they are. Don't create an imaginary idea about what "imagination" or “illusion” means. You want to experience and verify this for yourself. This "illusion" isn't the illusion that you think it is. It's outside of your knowledge and imagination. Anything that your mind comes up with will only be an approximation of what it is, if you're close to it at all, and therefore, won’t be it (the "illusion" that Leo is talking about). Let's see how this trap can start: Leo says: "the world is an illusion" > You think: "Wow! the {your idea of the world} is {your idea of illusory}!" > You think: "Then why the ef would I bother doing anything if it's all just {your idea of illusion}?" Catch yourself here.. You are using your imagination to try and "build" what "the world being an illusion" is and what it means for "you" as a separate entity to it (the world). You and the world are one and illusion is arising from that which you are.. Reality. You are the unimagined world. I'll try and answer your question here: "he talks very seriously about our ancestors (which supposed to be an illusion), our history and the past (supposed to be an illusion), politics and other [stuff,] isn’t it hypocrisy?" Leo needs to take a relative positionality to convey a concept. In Truth, the so-called "illusions" are as just as important as Truth. These illusions are from Truth. They arise in Truth, exist as Truth and die in Truth.. kinda like a big soup lol Isn't it these "illusions" that aid in the awakening of so many beings? Don't take value away from your life. The pain of your life will urge you to awaken. How do you expect to awaken if you think that your life and everything in it is a valueless illusion? These illusions are all that we have. When you fall in love with the illusion, then you'll know that you've discovered what "illusion" is. Peace and love dude Lenny

@ArchangelG Good point I didn't even think about this very important distinction and how important it could be.

@Koeke Knowing enlightenment conceptually will never be enough. Why, because a concept of enlightenment is something that you have created. You cannot "know" enlightenment. Enlightenment is not a concept. All the things that you have ever learned about it has only been pointing to it. My "idea" of enlightenment is different to your "idea" of enlightenment. Let's see what has happened here: you have created an idea of enlightenment which is an object of your imagination. You are then speaking about this object as if it is what enlightenment is and you are also experiencing this idea of enlightenment in your own unique way. What if enlightenment was just you as you are right now? What if you're already enlightened? You don't know what enlightenment is so it could have happened to you already and you wouldn’t know. If you can hold an image in your mind of enlightenment and what it will mean for you (if you have added/created a story about it), this is not enlightenment. Also, this is something that is in the way of you experiencing reality (also known as Truth, also known as enlightenment) {that which you are right now}. It's our imagination that we want to get behind (like walking behind a projector screen). Start from where your imagination arises, don't start from your imagination (your ideas about yourself and the world). You are standing on and looking from a preconceived idea about the world rather than standing from the place where your world arises. Try and abide in the latter. Do you feel that enlightenment will pull-you-out of your youth? Do you feel it will stop you from enjoying the illusion of sex, money, etc.? Once you know Truth then the illusion also becomes Truth. The "Truth" and the "lies" are all that one Truth. Actually, lies come from Truth. Lies are born in Truth and die in Truth. And Truth can enjoy them. Not knowing Truth (not knowing who you are), is going to hinder your ability to enjoy life and its forms. Are you "allowed" to enjoy the fruits of illusion? Will you allow yourself to love? I will try and answer your questions directly here: 1. "I'm just really confused atm. Is there a reason I shouldn't be on the path?" Let's look at things in another light: what if your "path" was to become more loving. Each day, working at yourself by exposing ways that your mind likes to trick you out of loving others a yourself. I think we can agree that there isn't much confusion here, there is just a shit tonne fear. I'm not saying it wont get confusing at times. But, we can make it simple by thinking about the path as a slow process by which we expose the illusions of our own fears about ourselves and life. And, clear the slate for love to grow. Also, don't force yourself to "become" anything or "do" anything. You do not want to aim to become more "loving", actually. At least, not love in the way that we're speaking about it here. You want True love and the love of Truth to shine through you by what you have become after you have seen through many of your favourite concepts and ideas. If you try to "become" loving now, you are just going to be forcing what you "think" love is. Therefore, it will not be the same as True love. Basically, if you want love, you have to get out of its way. If you want enlightenment, you have to get out of its way. When you say "I am really confused atm", what are you confused about? I would like to take a guess: you are confused because you want something. This is where the root of the confusion is coming from. Does the True Self (that which you truly are) want anything? Does it even want itself? If it wanted itself, it would be imagining itself to be something other than what it is. I guess we could say that if the path is "your" path, as in the path of the mind, then yes, there is a good reason why you shouldn't be on it. Both the "path" and the opposite of the "path" here are your notions and mind-made ideas about what it is. Actually, you are both the path, the opposite of the path and the destination of both. When you discover that you are reality, all of it, who's to choose what you cannot be? As for the confusion, and a way to deal with it: just watch the confusion, don't add thoughts about what it is. It is an energy which arises. Feel it in your body, feel without adding a story. If you wish to go further, then try to become aware of the "you" trying to feel it. You'll notice at this point you will be spewing up ideas and imagination about what "you" are and how you are being aware (this "being aware" could very well be imagination about being aware). Remember, if you can see or perceive this process, it isn't it. You want to try and go to where the "seeing" is coming from, without imagination. 2. "I know this might seem silly, but I'm only 18 years old and on one hand there's no reason to 'achieve' Enlightenment (and there is certainly no rush), but on the other hand 'sooner rather than later' right?" It might be wise to catch this one saying "and there is certainly no rush". No rush for what? No rush to be yourself? I have had the same thoughts as you have and I understand how they play-out on us. I have taken the same positionality of identification (this is probably a better way to put it). You are identified with this thinking process. But, this thinking, these thoughts are arising out of you. You have identified with an effect, but what is making these effects? Wouldn't you be that in which the effects are able to take place? The mind is like a pinball machine (the ball), where it bounces off things in its environment (projected or not), and pops-out code related to the last thing it touched. We cannot stop this. It is the nature of the mind - or from what I have discovered. Also, I would recommend to try and find your own way instead of following others (due to the issue with communication - you see at some point that words will get in the way, so to speak). If you have faith in a teacher then milk it for all it's worth. You can see in their eyes the lovingness which has come fourth from their own experience. Even if their teachings might not help you much. Now that I think about it, it's not even the teaching, it is the teacher. We are navigating through the maze of our own mind - their north is your south (remember communication issue). So, it's the love and grace of your teacher that lights the flame. You hold the torch and set the direction (well, your mind does). If your intention is to discover Truth (that Truth which you don't know and cannot see with your eyes) {but is what you already are}, then you have already been set on your way. I hope that this helped and I am sorry if it became a little rant-y and a bit confusing at points. Just know that you are right where you need to be in your journey, but you just cannot see it. This is where a lot of the confusion is coming from. Your True self is laughing but you cannot hear it (laughing with love). Peace dude Lenny

@trenton Have your ever heard of the saying "You cannot know Truth, you can only be Truth"? The way I see it, it would be imposible for us to understand all of reality on a conceptual level (because reality {that which we can also called Truth} is not a concept), I might be wrong. But it makes sense that that which is the basis of "me" (reality/truth) cannot be known in its entirety by me as the conceptual mind. Aslo, I wanted to clarify, when you say "Truth" what do you mean? What is your definition of the word? Lenny

@trenton I think we should approach this in another way because, what if your perspective is correct? And we might be "tricking" ourselves "out of" Truth. What if your perspective is True? We wouldn't want to then try to change it just because it doesn't seem right. The Truth, when it is exposed, may be very radical and therefore, it might not feel good. Different from this, it might not even register in our awareness (as humans, we might not have the necessary sense organs to detect Truth) so we don't want to dismiss things that are right in front of our nose either. So, we don't want to give validity to this idea of being "stuck" in a human perspective of what perspective is. Because, we don't know what Truth is yet. What if human perspective on it was the True perspective? So, we don't want to adopt any belief system about what Truth is because it might be taking us further away from it. Let's find something here and now that enables the perspective and beliefs to arise in the first place. Can we go to before the perspective or belief arises and see what is there? For the idea about inanimate objects: inanimate objects are not separate from you. You are Truth. You are reality. And so it that rock. How many different parts of you "think"? Here when I say "you" I mean your body & mind. How many parts of your mind engages in thinking? A few? Or just one part? Does your heart have thoughts separate from "you"? I don't know if a rock can think or have feelings. Just like I don't know if my heart can think or have feelings by itself. But, I can also not prove that I am not that rock. I cannot prove that my existence is independent of that rock. I'm sorry if I went off-track here a bit lol I hope my response helped. Lenny

@ArchangelG Yes, and what is there if we drop what we "think" or "believe" emotions and physical sensations mean? What is left without the meaning about what they are?

@ArchangelG Dude I love this: "you can't doubt doubting". I like another pointing also which is: what takes no belief to exist right now in this moment? Without your belief, what is left?

Would your true self/higher self need to search for itself? Only something that is lacking is searching, the true self is not lacking. Therefore it wouldn't need to search. The true self is what you are right now and you've always been that. But, it is somehow covered by an investment into what you are experiencing. It's almost as if we loved what we experienced, then we became attached to this experiencing and somehow we then called what we experienced as us/ourselves. Ego in this sense would be what you believe yourself to be, as in right now. Ego is the thing that is thinking that ego is a mask that is over it's true self. You think that you are your thoughts and you think that you are "making" them right now. In Truth, thoughts are spontaneously arising as a consequence of what is and as a consequence of reality. And as a consequence of Truth. It is very important to not dismiss your position or feel bad right now and know that you are right where you need to be in your journey. It's easy for me to say these things but so much harder to see when you're in the battlefield, so to speak. I have been here and I have been confused and I have been depressed, cycling over and over again, until I discovered enlightenment and ego. Also, the mind is a beautiful thing. The mind is also you. The mind actually assists us to find ego. The mind and it's perceptions pokes at our ego. The mind hurts our ego and presses its buttons. We can use our mind to "sniff-out" where the ego is hiding in us. Here when I say "hiding" this is relating to the extent to which we do not know our true self. It's almost as if the mind is being tricked into thinking it's something that it's not. The mind has somehow been deceived into thinking that it is the content (e.g. its imagination). One idea that really helped me is the following: You can never know yourself, you can only be yourself. If you know yourself, this seeming knowingness will arise as a thought, this thought is content. This thought about what you are is an effect, caused by what you truly are but not what you truly are. How does this understanding help? This means that any thought that you hold in your mind cannot be adequate to define you as Truth. Try and find where everything in your experience is arising from. Try and go to the beginning of a thought. Before it is born. How beautiful is it that you give birth to billions of thoughts every day! A thought cannot know where it comes from. I cannot know where I come from (this was a thought). Anyway I hope this helps. I'm trying to bring up lots of ideas here hoping that you get a bite conceptually. Also know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even a desire to find Truth is such an amazing thing. It means that you want to become (or more, recognise) the love that you are. Lenny

@Raptorsin7 In what ways are the dreams better? Is it the material things or are things move vivid and beautiful? Are you with friends and loved-ones etc.?

@kireet I'm really happy I could help dude Lenny

@JayG84 Hahah yeah I know exactly what you mean. Doubt can serve as a useful tool for us to cover up all of this magnificence, for a while A part of what you wrote just now made me want to ask: When you say you are finding sneaky ways that your ego is holding you back from day to day.. what is it holding you back from? I know here you mean Truth with a capital "T" or enlightenment (and as you've stated here: your higher self). But, if you don't know what Truth is, if you've never experienced it, then how do you know your ego is holding you back from it? What if Truth is in front of your ego, not behind it? Your higher self is in front of your ego. I'm really happy I helped put things into perspective in my early response. Let me know how you go. Lenny

@trenton I will try and answer your questions 1. How would you distinguish right and truth? Being right takes a positionality, e.g. there needs to be a perspective. Imagine a scenario where a tree falls in the forest and two people are watching it fall. The person looking at it from one direction says: "the tree fell left, this is my truth", the other person says: "the tree fell right, this is my truth". The "truth" they are referring to is their "right", which is not the real truth. A "closer" truth could be the statement: "a tree fell". A closer truth to this is one that includes all perspectives and therefore does not have any perspective. The truth is that nothing happened and everything happened. When you become enlightened you almost automatically discover truth. The truth that does not need a positionality/perspective. 2. How do you seek truth instead of being right? You do not know what truth is, therefore, you don't know the direction that you need to go to find it. Even if you have found it you would not know what it looks like. So, if you try and be "right" you will not find truth. Understand that Truth is there before you were right. So, try to see what is already here. 3. What is the difference in method? Being right comes from you. From your position/perspective. Truth is you. You are Truth. A method you could use: try and be ok both knowing and not knowing. Try and see how your life unfolds with an openness that allows for all positionalities and none. Allow yours and the positionalities of others, even animals, even trees, even atoms. What is the perspective of an atom? Of a white blood cell in your eye right now? You can get creative with this process and maybe even meditate on it. Personally, I found that self enquiry helped a lot. Sit down one time and try to discover what truth is. Use your attention to look at the silence and wait for the truth to reveal itself to you. Then watch yourself trying to find what truth is. Can you catch yourself trying to find truth? When you catch yourself trying to find truth, are you the catcher or the one who gets caught? This is a little fuel for potentially bringing on an enlightenment experience. You may find that you get a strong sensation or a feeling of tightening between your eyebrows (almost like when you are doing the action of being extremely confused but there is just blank). It may start as a confusion and then an emptiness or silence prevails. If you run into some trouble let me know and I will try and help. I hope that this helps and sorry if some of my response is a little unclear or confusing. Good luck dude Lenny

@kireet Keep in mind that Sadhguru may be at a very high level of consciousness and understanding of Truth. You know how masters say "but you are already enlightened" - easy to say when enlightened, difficult to see when not. Let's look into his definitions also, when he says "meditation", I think he means "silent". As in no thoughts. What he is trying to point to is that you cannot "think" or "do" yourself into a meditative state. A mediative state is already there, you just are not aware of it. When I say "state" I don't mean state in the regular use of the term. You already are silence, therefore meditative. Try and think of some ways that you can discover this within yourself through enquiry and asking questions. Turn your meditation into a fun and chill thought experiment. And go really crazy if you want. like try to prove that you are not a McDonalds paper bag rolling down the road outside your house. Try and prove it through logic and reasoning and see if you can prove it. Are you just your body, or are you also that paper bag? How could you tell and how could you be fooled into thinking that you are just your body, think about this stuff in a fun but deep way. I will try and answer your question about having a guru and the grace of the guru. So, what are we trying to find with enlightenment? We are trying to find truth/reality. When we find this truth it has always been there and it was never any different. Also, this truth and reality is not different from what you are. So, in a strange way it is your thoughts/body-mind energy field (that takes on information from and mirrors your environment, through certain physiological and neurological processes). You as mind and ego had to have just the right mixture of desire for seeking truth and love of the guru's character for you to listen to his/her words. You as mind and ego also had to know their language and have a proclivity for their demeanour and mannerisms. All in the end to do what? To expose that the thing that sought the guru was not you in essence (the thing that you think you are right now). So, for you to discover a master that brings you to enlightenment is almost like luck. This luck is called grace. So, your ego and mind and thought energies had to first receive the grace of God, for you to discover that you are the guru, you are that same truth. To answer your question: "how can i become meditative if i dont have a guru ? will these practices of meditation like do nothing , mindfulness meditation yield nothing?" In meditation you are observing your mind and experiencing what it does naturally (creating thoughts through imagination based on its habits, tendencies and conditioning). Your mind will go quiet when the things it presents are no longer of interest to itself. This will happen when you discover the truth of what you are. Everyone is different, try and become super creative with your self-enquiry during meditation (or sitting in a quiet place). If a thought arises that brings with it a certain energy, just look at the energy and try not to add a meaning or thought to it. Watch it come and watch it go. Energies/emotions can last a short time or a long time, it's hard to tell how long they will last. A cool thing I used to do is play a game a made called "No words". I would sit in meditation and I was not allowed to think in words. Every time I start thinking or having the internal dialogue I would think "No words". E.g. "I can't belie.... 'no words'", "You are th.. 'No words'", "You.. 'No words'". You then discover that a lot of human suffering can come from language and how we can string complex stories together. Without the tool of language we cannot paint a complex conceptual picture. Enlightenment work is so many things and takes on different forms at different times in our lives. I hope that this helps. I apologise if my responses are a bit all over the place. Let me know how you go. Peace dude Lenny

@JayG84 A lot of spiritual masters define enlightenment as being aware of reality/Truth. This reality that you're saying you are aware of, can you see/perceive it? Can you understand it? Are you that reality that you say you intuitively know? Or is reality "out there" and apart from you? If you know that everything is one and you are this oneness, are your attitudes and actions in alignment with this type of knowing? Do you feel light and loving toward all forms? I guess trying to answer these questions will shine some light on it for your and also to see if you are enlightened. I imagine that enlightenment can "happen" without knowing that you are. I recall Eckhart Tolle saying that for years he was just silent, so silent that he didn't recognise that he was silent. Like he had no thought to arise a thought of "oh.. wow.. I have no thoughts". There was just nothing. Emptiness. To address your questions directly: 1. But do you actually see the "substance" of consciousness when you awaken? There are many different stages to awakening (in my experience). It's like things are slowly revealed to you. Doors open and doors close. Sometimes we get a glimpse of something which will uncover a discovery that will slightly shift our understanding and other times we get the full-blown experience, which causes us to change immediately. Some experiences are so powerful that the old way of thinking (or thinking at all) stops. And there is just a silence. Tears can come and so can laughter, for no apparent reason at all. Personally, I am a little stuck on the "substance of consciousness" thing. The only thing I have experienced it to be is "infinity". Infinity beyond the concept of infinity. A good way to tell if you are experiencing reality or have an "awakening" experience is that it will be completely different to what you have learned or imagined. But, when you try to explain what it is (as you're having the awakening experience or moment of "seeing"), you will be saying the same thing you said when you thought you knew what it was, but it will be completely different. This is why you cannot "learn" enlightenment or reality. 2. Is this close to what they call Enlightenment? Enlightenment is an "event" or experience which can be quite profound. It's not a thought or something that you create through imagination. I believe that the reason why people sometimes call it a "non-event" is because it does not occur in time. You know that you as the truth that you are has always been and you just imagined that you were something else. You may even be able to confirm that you have never suffered in life. Not that you will no longer suffer, but that you have never suffered, and you were only imagining your suffering. Also, you may feel as though you know everything. It is like all of life's mysteries just expose themselves to you and you don't need to read anything. Like you do not need to learn it. Many "positivity" quotes that you know take on a whole know meaning. You see how some "positivity" quotes are BS and some are very profound and could have only come from an enlightened person or from someone who at least was enlightened for a period of time. It's almost like everything clicks into place intellectually. 3. Is there a definite "barrier" that you cross when you "Awaken"? Personally, I have experienced many barriers or moments of reaching the "door" or "gate" and being too scared to continue through. It is almost like you are literally fearful of your life and you feel that you will die. One of my most crazy experiences was where I have an intense awakening experience and I was dropped into nothingness. At first I was like "mad, I'm here, I did it" (very identified and spiritually un-woke thing to say at that time because when I said "I" I literally meant me as an ego "did it"). It was a silence beyond silence and an emptiness beyond emptiness. Then a few seconds into it, I sensed something arise, almost like a thought or something maybe even an emotion or energy crept up behind me and then I realised "Could I be this emptiness?" and I thought "If I'm this emptiness then anything could happen". Like I could be dropped into an everlasting pit of sorrow and torture (for literally, ever, and never to escape). I don't recall if I did or not, but I could've let out a shriek of fear and it would have pierced through utter bliss (which was what I experienced first). Later I assessed the whole experience and tried to see where I went wrong because I thought I had "broke through". I later realised that I had a lot of ego identification in that moment and a lot of fear and confusion and I identified with it. I felt like "me", "getting" enlightened - obtaining it like a lost treasure that was for me and for me only. 4. Do you go anywhere? Like waking up from the Matrix or something? From my experiences you stay where you are. It seems as though things come to you rather than you go to things. 5. Does it "Look" different? Or is Enlightenment just the knowledge of Being that brings you peace? Imagine seeing everything you look at the same way that you look at someone who you are deeply in love with, even if it's a sliced-up zucchini or something. You can literally see so much beauty that you can be brought to tears of joy. Every woman and every man look beautiful and you love them. I've had a few experiences like this and it wasn't a thought. You do not "sustain" the beauty that you see by thinking about it in a loving way. it is already amazing and beautiful before you had an opinion. 6. Or is Enlightenment just the knowledge of Being that brings you peace? Enlightenment is not knowledge, but knowledge can come from it. The peace should be there before the knowledge. 7. Is the intuitive knowledge that you are ONE and that the self is an illusion good enough? If you have to ask, "is this good enough?" then it's not good enough. This tells me that you are still looking for something other than what you already are. If this helped let me know. I apologise if my responses are a bit all over the place. I feel that I am still exposing delusions and learning about the reality that I am. I feel confident enough to guide you as I have been where you have been. Consciousness and enlightenment is a funny thing because you could have an enlightenment experience today and you could potentially surpass levels of consciousness that I have experienced. You could then come into the full understanding of life and reality and I would be there in a heartbeat taking advantage of that by asking you some of my burning questions about it lol. Peace dude Lenny

@Chumbimba What is it you want to achieve from your meditation? You are observing your mind and experiencing what it does naturally (creating thoughts through imagination based on its habits, tendencies and conditioning). Your mind will go quiet when the things it presents are no longer of interest to itself. Deep contemplation exposes the mind-made stories/thoughts for what they really are. Don't attempt to turn them into something they are not, try to see them for what they are through enquiry. For example, you thinking "My mind still swallows me," is a good start for this enquiry. You believe that you can be swallowed. When you get "swallowed", where will you end up? At the end of the "swallowing" what's going to be there? Will you be there? It seems that you have a reference for yourself (what you believe yourself to be) and this reference is incorrect (but right for the moment ). This "self" that you call "you" is created by your imagination and thus it is open to being "attacked" by your mind in your meditation practise. I hope this helped. I have been in this position/reference before (or so it seemed). Many of the people replying here have presented some great solutions also. But, you will need to find one that interests you so that the work will be enjoyable. Peace dude , Lenny