Princess Arabia

The trying to let them go is what's creating the resistance and the mental turmoil. How can one try to let something go. The thing you're trying to let go of will always be there. Get it. It's like throwing a ball and letting go of the ball. Don't you need the ball to throw and to let go of. The ball has to be there. Stop trying, and let be. Things fade away on their own the same way they came into your life on their own. The emotions appeared on their own and they will fade on their own. It's OK to feel whatever you're feeling, it's the not wanting to feel those things that's keeping those emotions alive longer. So telling yourself you have to let go is what's keeping the attachment going. You don't have to try and let go of anything because you never had it in the first place. I know that sounds harsh, but you want truth, that's the truth and life will show you truth; no need for a guru or a course to tell you what truth is. You're living it.

Perfect example. I never said this. You've created meaning to what I said and put your own ideas on what you think I mean when I said what I said. I never said emotions are meaningless and that they don't mean anything. My point about that was the emotions that come with the experiences we have is what's being remembered in the heart (memory), and the stronger the emotion, the more effective it becomes. Meaning when a scenario happens again to stir up that emotion it will have the same effect it had the first time even with a completely different circumstance. Example, you almost ran over a pedestrian and it scared you shitless. The next time it happens, you will remember the emotion that came with that first incident and the same feeling will arise. Now, you're scared of pedestrians while driving and will or may have road rage against pedestrians when they're being careless in the streets. You'll even notice a pedestrian way across the way doing something careless and get mad about it. This is how stories run our lives. So therefore, try to practice not getting too emotional about circumstances and experiences because it will run your life and have you being on guard. Aka anxious. The story there is that pedestrian is an ass, they should have paid more attention, they need to get off their phone, they need to walk faster, slower, they should have seen me or gosh why didn't I see them, I need to pay more attention etcetc. You almost ran over a pedestrian and that's it. Everything else is a story and is useless and only creates more stories to live in our heads by. I'm not saying no stories, just recognize them for what they are and don't believe in them.

This all depends on the matter at hand. Brainstorming an existing problem is not a problem as long as it's not being done with the same mindset that created the problem. There's no such thing as unnecessary thinking because thoughts just happen. It's just a matter of ignoring the ones that doesn't matter.

I hear you and it seems weird when I say it, I know. We are here living our lives and relating to our stories and experiencing things and talking in stories about those things. Sure, I have stories too; stories make up our world and our reality. Now, if I'm having a problem with a particular story, I've learnt to stop telling that story. If you notice, and especially in this case, I said stop referring to the story in question. Not to stop telling stories. I've noticed here that the narratives I tell myself about a situation has nothing to do with the situation itself. So, I've tested it in real life. So, something happens, I start to put my two cents in (mentally/ideas about it), then the test comes. I drop the narrative, and the situation turned out completely different than what I was telling myself (which is usually negative, BTW, because of how the mind works and it's survival mechanisms). I'll just give a random example. I call someone, they don't answer. The mind automatically starts to narrate on why the person didn't answer. They're ignoring me, they're busy, they didn't see it or whatever. I call again, they answer, I don't ask why they didn't answer the first time, I just get straight to why I called. The story was about what I thought about them not answering - it's irrelevant and complicates things. Another example and to the OP's concern. I'm with a guy and he keeps looking at other girls. I start to feel jealous and saying I'm not good enough while he could be looking at them for the sole reason that he just loves to admire women but only loves me. Idk, I'm guessing, but our relationship is very good and I'm happy. Why go into the stories on why he keeps looking at women and how I'm jealous. That's my problem because looking at other women is the same as looking at other men or a building. Whatever is going on in his head is not my business. Do you get the drift, we live our lives in stories and ideas about life and not what's actually happening. We self-sabotage by our stories and ideas about what's happening. Just as you get nervous when you see a message. It's the story behind the message without seeing the message that you're reacting to. That's living in stories and responding to our mind's ideas, not what's actually happening. It creates anxiety and confusion and puts us in states that we don't want to be in unnecessarily.

You can see the patterns and train of thought with people with anxiety, depression (not extreme or clinical, maybe sad-all-the-time depression). You see the unnecessary problems they place upon themselves. They usually think of the worse-case scenarios and usually expect the worse from people. They turn just about everything into a problem and then turn around to try and find solutions to the problem that was created with the same mindset. It's an endless loop. "I feel this way about this thing and I don't like that feeling. The reason why I feel this or that way is because there's something wrong with that circumstance or the thing i experienced". Is the thought in so many words. Now, I must find a way to not feel that way and try to not let those experiences bother me. I don't want to go through that so i must fix it. If that happens to get fixed, then another scenario happens and it's the same thing. I wonder what is the common denominator amongst all experiences and all circumstances. The person and their perceptions of those circumstances. That's the common denominator. This is why I say the "me" is fucked. It looks at everything as an outside problem not realizing that there's nothing outside. Nothing inside either. It's just what's happening. The "me" interprets it as happening to it and the endless tiring cycle of overcoming itself continues and never ends until.......it recognizes life isn't about it. It will just see things as whatever is happening and the responses that occur to whatever happens as just that - a response. All this will continue to be the case until the person gets tired, extremely tired. Tired of fighting life. Tired of the mind and thought battles. It will come to the realization that it will never win at life because life isn't a competition to be fought. The mind will tire itself out and become free of its own mess and melt into the ocean of love. It's the only way for it to become peaceful. This is why there's no such thing as a permanent peaceful state. This happens in sleep when the mind is at rest, when it awakens the uproar begins. P,S. Nothing I write here I'm exempt from. I've either been there and have overcame the challenge, still going through, or just simply realize the dynamics. I'm able to spot things because I myself have been there. I've seen through certain things. I'm very observant and I notice a lot, with myself and others. I have a very keen sense of spotting patterns. Energetic patterns. They're everywhere. This how things can be predicted or expected or noticed and habits are formed. It's all imagination anyway and not really the case. Just within the dream of separation.

As the forum's high perspective proof-reader, I suggest an edit on the word strawmamming.

This advice might not resonate but it's the way to go. Don't try to change it. Notice it and leave it alone. Don't try to analyze it or try to figure out why you're doing it. You can maybe say, this is silly what am I doing or laugh at yourself doing it; but don't take it seriously. I promise in due time, it will fade away with the wind. Promise. Come back and let me know when. P.S. Leave all the stories you're telling yourself about why this is happening behind or it won't work. Just see yourself doing it and that's it. Stories might come, but just don't pay them any attention. No emotions towards it, I mean. It's the emotions that makes things linger.

There's already no one so it doesn't matter. Everything exists. Everything. Whichever scenario it is, it is. Yeah, I know, stfu.

I live in Timbuktu.

If you had a choice to be depressed or happy, which would you choose. The answer is right there in that statement.

Just one last thing, don't get me wrong; the same crap over there is the same crap over here just different content. I have sad feelings, depressed feelings, life goes good, it goes bad, all hell breaks loose, sometimes I wish I were dead, I love life, life is beautiful, life sucks, etcetcetc, the whole shebang just a different story. It's just there's no one doing that, all just happening and arising and this opening recognizes that and isn't bothered by it enough to write a story about it or to even make up mental ideas about why it's all happening and all that. It's perfectly fine and i don't need to change it because I've recognized it's all a part of what comes with the "me" energy and it can't help it. I don't wish anything different because there's nothing to wish for that won't come crashing down eventually and taken from me so I've learnt to live with what is. I don't want to be happy, I don't want to be sad, I don't want anything other than life's expectancies and to survive, I've not surrendered and i've not accepted anything. I've just realized there's no one doing any of this and that life is happening all on it's own. TRULY.

See, you said it "me". All words for me. For me too. Difference is, there's an opening in this "me" that recognizes itself to not be "me" and is doing the talking. It is talking to the "no me" in you too, but that "me" over there isn't open to it. That's all. It's all good.

There's no one to awaken, because who would know they're awaken. That "me" right. So, that me would still be present to know it's awakened. DON'T YOU SEE THE TRICK. Can't you see through the shit. It's a scam. Existential scam like how Trump is a scam, lol. The "me" invented awakening and enlightenment to try to kill or dissolve itself and everybody fell for it. THERE'S NO ONE TO AWAKEN. It's like me waking your body up from sleep and telling you there's no body there. It's laughable. Not a popular message, but laughable. Don't care what anybody says. Anybody that says any different, ask them how the hell they know they're enlightened. Answer: The illusory "me" told them. Awakening is a bit different as one can awaken to what I'm saying but there's still a "me" there unless it has truly fallen away and recognizes it was never there to begin with and so no one really awakened.

Well, do you get conceptually that all you're saying is bullcrap, hehe, (humor there), and that your feelings are arising from a false sense of knowing and to not take it personally and to laugh about it and no need to write posts about it and no need to whither in self-pity and self- doubt and self-whatever and that if you do, it's madness, insanity, neurosis and that that's all OK because that's the only way reality can exist for you and your neurotic self and that you really don't want freedom/awakening/enlightenment/liberation because all that would kill you as the person you think you are.

I get this and I get all you're saying........BUT....Experience and knowing are illusions. They don't go hand in hand. What you experience you are one with, there's no separation between you and what you're experiencing. Take you away, there's no experience, you cannot experience it if you're not there. That's the whole thing you and your experiences are one. So, how can you know it. That puts you outside of the experience. You can't know it either - but only as an hallucination/dream/illusion/ or whatever the word is. Do you see how I'm deconstructing what you think is real, or maybe not. Break it down. Knowledge is separation, you cannot know anything because there's no actual separation. So saying "you can't know it unless you experience it" isn't actually accurate either but only within the realms of separation and there isn't any. P.S. Please note that I'm not saying there's no apparent separation and that we don't live in separation as individuals because I do too. I will also say I know this experience and experience is key etc, but for the purpose of clarity (of which there's none either because there cannot be in wholeness), I'm trying to show you that it's all illusion you're experiencing and not actual. So youre right, I cannot know but neither can you. This is why it's said reality is a dream. Reality is real, but how we experience it is dreamlike.

Ok. I hope you're recognizing the changes in states and how you're perceiving reality in fluxes. You're not going through depersonalization; it's only apparent because there's no actual person there already. "I feel this severe disconnect from myself" is not a disconnection or you wouldn't be able to recognize it as such. You are still connected to the feeling of a "self" to be able to say you're disconnected from self. Hope that's clear. What you're talking about is "you" and a "self" - "my" and "self" implies that. We use those terms with life to communicate and be able to construct our egos identification with a self, but for the purpose of trying to point out something to you, there's no validity to your statement in actuality, because there's no myself to be disconnected from. If I say my cat, my purse, my car, how am I saying I'm disconnected at the same time. It's either they're mine or they're not. That's a mouthful, but I hope you understand what I'm saying. You're feeling disconnected but it's not really the case, you've attached yourself to the feeling and have mentally detached from what's actual.

Ok, then I get your point. I didn't do anything intentional. My interpretation was probably because I didn't fully grasp what you were saying or meant. From the mental perspective, I agree that we are constricted and that there is resistance. From what you are saying, I can say I'm more inclined to think we're referring to the same thing - without going back to your original comment, but from what you're saying here.

So, why do you want to die and why are you depressed.

This is what I'm talking about, precisely.

She didn't feel the same way. She felt loved when you were giving and she was there indirectly giving back. It's call about how one feels. You probably tainted your masculinity from some information you consumed and that made you started feeling used or that she needed to do or give more. A masculine man usually feels good when giving and when it's received with joy, love and appreciation, not by expecting anything else materially as much. She left because she felt you didn't love her anymore. The giving was a form of communication on your part and when it stopped a little, she didn't feel loved anymore. You said 80/20, so she was physically giving somewhat. But the majority of her giving was indirect because giving is receiving and as long as she was loving you back internally and appreciated you with all her heart, that should have been enough for you to feel her love and received her too. It goes both ways. P.S. I'm not saying the only way for a man to love is by giving a woman material things, it's just another way that women can feel loved and since men aren't usually verbal and emotional with these things, a woman can feel it in these ways, if given from the heart. Giving from the heart changed somewhere along the line with you and it broke that communication bond.

There's no such thing as a proper awakening. It's either it's awake or it's not. The body says, I'm already awake, even during sleep. The heart still beats, right. So, the mind can keep saying it's asleep, the body doesn't care. It keeps on keeping on.....until it doesn't....but it never really was but only as an appearance. When it "dies", it will appear as a corpse - still alive. There's nothing but aliveness. That corpse will then appear as something else, idk maybe maggots and a skeleton. Still alive.

I agree with what you're saying to a degree, but I disagree with this. Unhappiness and suffering will still be it's just one doesn't care if it is or not and will not try to change anything for the betterment of the egoic structure.

Nobody seems to mention this when these topics arise but I will set the record straight. The body doesn't care about your awakening and enlightenment. It will act out. It will not want to talk to others and see the world as an enemy. It will throw temper tantrums and shit on walls. It will want to go in a corner and not come out because of what the mind has put it through. When the body thirsts, it grabs for some liquid to quench. Hungry, it eats, needs to pee it pees, burps, yawns, sneezes etc. It has grown accustomed to interacting with people normally and going about daily life. When one starts to interfere with existential matters like awakening and enlightenment it's not used to that shit. The egoic mind wants to come back to homeostasis and wants to be separate and different. It wants to construct and develop not be dead. It wants to live, not die. So the body acts out because the embodiment is so strong and the connection felt deeply, as in this is my body so the body/mind coherence is thrown off balance. Wow, I'm God, no you're not, you better keep on surviving and building your house made of cards is what the ego says. Anyway, without digging too deep, you're not doing any of that the body is, and that's why we go through these changes. The body doesn't care about your awakening, it just wants to survive and will go haywire when the mind does a 360 loop, it gets confused. The body is already awake and there's nothing but now or presence and so-called enlightenment is already the case. It doesn't need your made up construction of it.

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying why are you chasing happiness. Circumstances in life comes, goes, changes and are spontaneous. If one is only happy from outside stimuli, it's like gambling; you never know the outcome. It's OK to want to be happy, but why not just be happy when the time comes; when something makes you happy in the moment. The opposite too. Why not embrace the sadness. They don't last long. Only if one hold on to the thoughts. Positive and negative exists. Trying to be positive all the time will set you up for failure. It will never happen. Seeing things for what they are is king, as in your words. If something happens that makes you feel happy, fine. If something happens that makes you feel sad, fine. No need for therapy to try to right the negative. It passes. See it for what it is. You don't even remember last year this time what made you happy or sad. It's like the wind it comes and goes. It's best to not try to feel good all the time. It's best to just let what happens, happens and whatever feelings arises arise. That's what life is about. So what. No one wants to feel sad, but you will lose that battle eventually. You don't have to think positively or negatively, just feel the sadness or happiness and every other emotion in between and don't judge it or see ANYTHING WRONG (unless it's causing you or others harm as in anger or jealousy and you're acting out), other than that just let it be. Neutrality is what's behind the scenes and everything arises from that and will go back to that if you don't stir the pebbles. They all go back anyway but they linger less if you just let it be. You're not in control of that but the energetic response is; and because you claim everything as yours, (my happiness, my anger, my sadness, etc) you will feel less or more depending on how the energy responds to itself.

Reality cannot be understood.