Princess Arabia

This is why I don't put people up on a pedestal or look down on them. Disappointment is inevitable both ways. I see it as I set my own boundaries and as long as they're not crossed, I'm ok. The disappointment has now become about your expectations of people and how you would like to see them. If you dig deep inside yourself, you'll realize you're more disappointed in yourself for the standards you've set for others.

I said this too and i think it's probably the main issue. I don't blame him, though, we work hard on ourselves to improve and then to be only seen as a body part can be truly disappointing.

I made that comment before reading your explanation as to why you keep mentioning the double standard part. It's a matter of explaining it from a perspective and not the main issue at hand. I get that, and I'm not in unacceptance about it. I'm just trying to see why it bothered you as much and why you might have such strong feelings about being sexually objectified. It's not Universal to harbor resentment over this, as some people, even women, don't mind at all to be objectified sexually. It's a personal thing. Personally, it doesn't bother me, and I accept that I can see it however I choose and that it's how I see it that brings about the feeling. As long as a boundary wasn't crossed where it got physical, i don't let it bother me. You have every right to feel how you feel and i'm just expressing my thoughts on it from my personal pov. Maybe because i've gotten desensitized by it and it has become the norm, but don't think i'm not empathetic towards your feelings about it. It's wrong from both sides.

I'm not dismissing that you genuinely felt objectified. You mentioned the story about your uncle and the chain so it shows we can feel objectified in ways that are not sexual. Maybe you want to be seen by everyone as more than just a physical body and people keep reducing you to that and it becomes frustrating. The women's actions was maybe a reminder of that and you take offence because you want to be seen more than it. Like you're not taken seriously for who you actually are internally. These are just symptoms for of what's really going on internally. Mentioning the uncle and the chain, and how this conversation brought those memories back to light, made me believe that's whats really going on.

This is what I mean. You're more upset about the double standards than their actions. I understand it, and it's uncomfortable either way if not welcomed.

This is what you're not understanding. Most times women aren't doing this because they would actually sleep with you or even want to. My lesbian girlfriend (not lover), would enjoy looking at other men's penises. She would be looking at men's bulges walking down the street or on TV. If she watched porn, shed be watching the straight ones and the men's dicks. She is the more masculine one in her relationships. They do this as a comparison. To what they don't have. Imagining what it would be like to have one. Their gfs are usually feminine or more on the feminine side compared to them. This is why I say, it's not about wanting to sleep with you from the women's perspective, but just as a fantasy. I'm not surprised she was lesbian.

It's funny you wrote this because I was writing my response at the same time and we both referenced this type behavior in strip clubs and how the women react.

No, not in your circumstance, anyway. Guys seem to think we get openly sexually objectified by men all the time that are in groups. It's usually in secret or on a one-to-one basis. Guys are more careful not to do this in groups as much for fear of rejection and having their peers notice. I'm not saying it doesn't happen to women at all what you're explaining, but it's more the opposite in groups. Take, for example, strip clubs. Male strippers will get more screams, more women going up by the stage and looking more excited than the men do with female strippers. The males will sit there and fantasize, privately drool and dream about what it would be like being with her. If it's a party-setting type club they might show more but it's still pretty contained. They'll go in the back for a private show and want to get physical. Point here is, women feel more comfortable doing this in public amongst other women because it feels safe; men feel more comfortable doing this in private for the same reason - it feels safe. No one to see the rejection, if she does, but him. It's a double standard, yes, and it makes both genders feel uncomfortable; but in regards to who is more at risk for physical harm, the women are. You won't find a woman waiting in the alley or after club hours to try and get into your pants all by herself, while a man may do this to the female if he's the type. So that's why it's usually more accepted by society when women do these things. Some men don't like it because they look at it from the perspective that if that were them, and the tables were turned, they'd be getting into some real trouble or the behavior wouldn't be tolerated. We as a society have to look at this from the gender perspective and realize men and women aren't the same in this respect and that men and women will or be looked at differently, and with good reason, when it comes to sexual issues and objectification because of the statistics showing more men are sexual predators and can actually do more harm sexually to women than a woman can to a man (sexually). All that said, I'm not justifying the women's behaviors because it's in poor taste, but look deep into why it bothered you to begin with and, as you've stated, it's probably because if it were you, the response would have been different and you're just rebelling against the double standard and not their actions.

This shit is crazy. Might as well just eat ice.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIaVDhPJCN4/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Cleaning tips.

lol, ok. Let's smoke some of that shit together.

Well, the ancients are dead. Since they know they're dead, ask them.

Ok. I won't take that away from you. Soothe the soul, my dear.

This is like saying "holy shit, I'm terrified of sleep". No one knows they're asleep, just as no one will know they're dead. The delusion is you thinking there's a you to die.

People are not denying Spirituality another choice was made. This in Infinity and all sorts of situations and circumstances and all sorts of people exists. There's doesn't have to be a true reason why such and such is happening. We make all that shit up to try and make sense of the world. Imagine if EVERYONE was into Spirituality, where would the diversity of the Absolute fit in. We tend to want everyone to be like us and when they're not, we concoct up some reason why they're not. Some people are not into Spirituality simply because they're not. It's that simple. No complications needed.

I think people perceive you according to the relationship you have with that person, the idea they have of you and what they want or don't want from you mostly in terms of expectation. The same person's mother will perceive them differently than say that person's friend or lover; not because the person is different, but because of the reasons I stated above. We even look at strangers in a way relative to the circumstances in which they appeared in our experience. For example, a female appearing before a man's eyes who is attracted to her will be seen differently by another guy who is not attracted to her. If she appeared in a bar, she'll also be perceived differently than if she were in a mall or library. Nothing changed about her appearance but where she appeared made the difference. That's usually how people perceive you. You need do nothing, just appear to them in situations and circumstances that they already formed an opinion about.

We do not choose to respond. Response happens. I know this sounds non-dual and woo woo and oh my God, not again, but it is the case. When you read that first sentence, were you blank. Did you not have an opinion about it. You happen to hit on this journal and read this post. Are you choosing how to respond to these writings or is it just happening. Reflect on that and be honest about it. If we're being mindful to not respond a certain way to what's happening in life, that's also not by our choosing. Try and respond a certain way to something and then choose another response right away to the same thing. Can you erase the first response from happening in the first place and can the second response automatically turn into the first response. No. If both were your choices, then you'd be able to undo the first response and turn the second response into a first. Both were spontaneous, both happened on their own, neither can be erased only follow. You can choose a pair of shoes and decide to return it for another, but you cannot undo the choosing of the first shoe. If you were doing the choosing, then you could undo the choosing. Everything is just in succession; one thing happening after the other, after the other, after the other, and we think we're doing it and choosing to do it. Erasing something doesn't mean that thing never existed, it just means something else happened, something else appeared. The first thing appeared, the eraser appeared, the erasing appeared and the new thing appeared. They all appeared in succession - one after the other. All those moves appeared independently from each other and without a chooser. A chooser would be able to "unchoose".

There's no silent watcher in immediacy. There's no "your life" that's being watched; that's duality. That suggests separation which is illusory. Actually, the statement "it's silently - watching- your- life - suggests 4 things happening. It's/watching/your/life. That's quadrality.

Nice!

There's no way around suffering if one identifies as a human. It comes with the territory. Trying to master the self in this aspect, only perpetrates the suffering and confirms that one suffers. Same as trying to find happiness. Only confirms that one is unhappy. The seeker seeks. That's what it does. Seeking the end of suffering is still living in the future via imagination, as you put it. Life does what it wants, when it wants. Stifling yourself to try and not feel emotions that are arising because of spontaneous responses is only perpetrating the suffering and keeping you from being present. Even though you're always present, the effects in the mind won't feel like that and will just create confusion. Confused as to why these feelings are arising. I suggest we just see suffering as another energetic spontaneous arising that may or may not prolong the effects depending on how one looks at the suffering. The person that sees it as them being human and that's a function of that energy will have a better relationship with that suffering than one who is trying to master and manipulate the spontaneity of feelings that are arising on their own and what we've identified with as a function of the perceived separate self. That self sees everything that arises within it's perception in relation to itself and it owns everything including that suffering - it cannot help it. Trying to master suffering is like trying to master the rain. It falls when the conditions arises for it do so. Changing your conditions and environment is what's needed, not trying to master feelings into being in the now. There's no other place to be, even via imagination, because that's also happening now.

They'll just be suffering NOW. Nothing is ever done "not in the now". There's no now to master. Now is all there is. Unacceptance is also done now. Living is always in the now, responding is always in the now. Let me see you live yesterday and respond yesterday to something that's happening now.

And why does Religion exist.

We're trying to save the world. We see the world as something that needs saving because we see ourselves as needing to be saved. Notice when we're happy, the world seems just, everything is great in the moment; then sadness arises, and the world is unjust again. Same world, different feeling. We live by our feelings. We become stoic and develop inner resilience to cope with life's uncertainties and what's uncontrollable. Then we lose the ability to connect with life and be compassionate and caring. We see life as something to defend and guard against. We are the gate-keepers of our world and we try to keep the enemies at bay; both sentient and not. Doesn't matter. Living or not. Anything that doesn't align with my world view and survival strategy is the enemy. We're constantly on guard. Always on the look out for harm. It's exhausting. It's energetically unbearable. We turn to drugs and substances to cope. It's so fucking unbearable being and identifying as a separate human being. We think we're happy when we feel happy but it's just a temporary relief from the unbearable. Like an orgasm for the mind. When the unbearable becomes extremely unbearable then we feel sad or depressed. When the unbearable becomes "I wonder when I'll get relief again" it becomes anxious. When the unbearable becomes noticeably unwanted and it realizes itself it becomes hateful. When it doesn't know how to transform itself it becomes envious. When it sees itself in others it becomes malicious. It reflects upon itself. Now, it wants to save the world in an attempt to save itself. When the world acts right, then I'll act right. It's them that's the problem. When I go to sleep and the world doesn't exist for me, then I'm cool. When I arise to face myself in the mirror, now the world is a problem again. How come the world isn't a problem when I'm asleep. I'm in lala land and I can travel and experience other worlds; but when I awake it's the world I awaken to that's the problem. What I see in the waking state is the problem but not when I'm asleep. Then we want to awaken and be more aware of the stinkin' problems we face. We want to magnify the problems and be more awake to them. Or we want to lose the self so the problems go away. THERE'S ONLY ONE DENOMINATOR HERE. Figure that out.

What people don't understand is that we're all going through the same underlying problem: LACK OF LOVE. An identity crises. Needing thing to be a certain way. Needing to know the unknown. Fear is what drives us. Complacency is what's crippling us. Fear and complacency both drives and cripples us simultaneously. We have both feet on the gas pedal. One foot in, one foot out. Not enough inner relaxation paired with enthusiasm. Relaxed enough to trust, but enthusiastic enough to have the zest for life. We were all dropped off by the "space-ship" on an island to fend for ourselves and we're all trying to figure this shit out. It's scary. We're unsure. We look to others for safety. We think we have it all figured out in the midst of uncertainty. We're unsure and uncertain but we think we know it all. We fight amongst ourselves. We disagree with others' way of looking at the world not realizing it's part of the make up. Part of the whole. Without contrast there's nothing to see. Nothing to experience. We want life to be on our terms. Then we suffer for it. We see the world as a threat. We see others as the enemy. We can't accept people for who they are and work from there. We need them to fit into our own constructs. Then we develop hatred for ourselves and others. I hate you because I hate myself. You hate me because all I see in you is hate. I can't see the love pouring from you, I can't see the little baby crying out. I can't see the fear and feelings of unworthiness in you. All I see is your hate. I feel unloved by others because they're not catering to my needs. My selfishness is what's in the way of me expressing love in it's purest form. It's limited because I feel limited. I'm only a petty little human in this world trying to survive and I have biases and judgements and I see other and I'm separated from life. It's all a mistake. Mistaken identity that creates problems for the individual. The individual that feels empty inside and needs to fill the void with other empty things. It's a never-ending cycle.