Princess Arabia

This is the void that's why we feel the need for things, circumstances and people to fill it. It's like an empty, hollow 'place' filled with nothing. It feels empty even though it seems full. We are living in an empty void of nothing. Don't believe me? Check yourself. Open your eyes. Observe your ways. See for yourself how you cling to stuff, trying to hold unto beliefs, things, people, places and things. We need to put people unto pedestals, say that so and so allowed me to be stable, flourish and become something. We're like floating in mid air so-to-speak, on rocky ground. It feels unstable, empty and without meaning and purpose and direction, so we dream up all this stuff to feel like we belong, to feel like home, to feel like a somebody, to feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, and feel some more. That's what feelings are. It's important for us to feel. Doesn't matter what that is, as long as we feel. We hurt ourselves on purpose to feel something, we avoid love to feel something, love cannot be felt, the unity, oneness, inseparable, boundless, timeless love that's all there is, cannot be felt, so we go out of our way to try and feel the love that penetrates. We're searching for the love that we are. Boundless, timeless, unlimited, unfathomable, unknown, untouched, everything love, energy, freedom that's free to become whatever it wants and that's language being limited and dualistic trying to convey a message to itself that cannot be heard or conveyed because it's not anything to be conveyed. It is longing for itself. It is not somebody doing it doesn't know itself and can get lost in it's own freedom of expression. It isn't looking for anything but can appear to be. It isn't really being anything but can appear to be. It isn't moving nor staying still, those are positions, but can appear to be. It is what I've fell in love with, it is what I crave, it is what I long for, it is what I want to become, it is what I cradle, it is what I dream of, it is what I miss, it is what I yearn for, it is what I desire, it is what I think about. IT IS the yearning, the craving, the missing, the longing, the loving, the thinking, the everything i so dearly want, desire, love and hope for. I cannot grasp it, I cannot hold unto it, it keeps escaping me, it keeps evading me, it keeps making me feel unfulfilled, needing and wanting, it makes me addicted to things, reaching for objects to try and fill the fucking empty void I feel inside. There is no inside or outside, there are no boundaries, there are no points, no limits, no direction, no hope, all despair. It has made me neurotic, needy, desperate, lonely, it has made me suicidal, sick, crying, laughing, happy, sad, suffer, miserable, angry, mad, in love, and so much more. It has made me me. A me that longs to not be me. A me that seeks for things that can never satisfy me. A me that sees itself in others. Others are others because of me. Then I despise, love, hate, want to be, cherish, hold unto, reach for others whether things, people, or circumstances that aren't me to try and satisfy me. Try to make me feel whole and complete. I despise because I love. I long for because I love, I dislike because I love, I yearn for because I love, I do everything because I love. I love because I'm love itself. I'm love itself because I'm inseparable, whole and complete. That's love. I don't know that. I don't know anything. I want to know. I'm knowing itself. I'm the knowing and seeking energy that arose in this body. It feels like it's in this body but it isn't. I don't know that. I feel that. It's the feeling that matters. I won't feel unless there's something that makes me feel. There's nothing here to feel so I feel because of. If there was something here to feel, I would feel regardless. I need something to feel. The only inherent feeling is the feeling energy that arose with the me. The me that's not even there. I only feel because of feeling itself. Energy is boundless and free, free to feel, free to become feelings. It's an illusion, though, it appears as feelings to ground itself. To make it feel as if it's something. It's nothing. Jesus, help me, I'm losing control. I'm losing ground, I'm becoming empty, empty of any and everything. I don't want to feel empty, I want to feel full and vibrant, I want to want, I want to desire, I WANT TO LIVE yet I want nothing. I'm forced to want if I want to live. I don't want to die, yet I feel dead inside. I'm trying to hold on, but it's slipping away. I don't need anything to feel differently, I don't want to feel differently, I just want to not want. I just want to be nothing. This way, I can be everything. It's an impossible feat. I want to live so bad, I'm dying. Dying to live. This is death to me. P.S. I'm OK. Incase there's anybody reading this post and thinking I'm losing it or ungrounded. Quite the contrary. I realize that I'm not grounded in anything and im not trying to be. That's being grounded in a way. It's just love expressing itself in the moment. It's beautiful. It's all beautiful.

When I log on and look at this forum, all I see is a bunch of words. Names of people attached to comments, threads and responses. I don't hear any voices or see any real faces, just words, videos and pictures. I hit on a topic and all i see is a bunch of words and read it to myself as if someone actually said those words. Day in and day out, just a bunch of words, phrases, sentences, remarks, questions and answers. All inside this computer. On a screen. Dozens of people talking about different stuff and all it takes is a tap of the finger and a scroll of the thumb to see life happening all on a dumb screen. Jesus, if that's not magic, I don't know what is. There's magic everywhere. I think I have too much time on my hands. I need a baby. Too much nonsensical chitter chatter going on in my head. I need silence. Silence to think about more jibber jabber. Goodnight.

Cr Crocodile milk.

@EmeraldI'm sure you're not but don't pay those naysayers any mind. Some cannot handle when a women steps in and represent. Stay in your place please and let us men lead and show you the way. It's so obvious. If a particular point of yours was being challenged or pointed out and disagreed with respectfully, it would show a completely different type of energy, but when you're being attacked for everything you've said and nasty words thrown at you it's so obviously just a general attempt to put you down or silence you. People don't realize that energy has a voice and sometimes is not what you say but how you say it and the energy you carry across the board at all times. It wears on your internet face. No matter what you say and how you say it some men will always have objections simply because you're a woman and no other reason.

I think these guys are referring to their dream hot barbie dolls. That's the "they" they're referring to. "They're screwing the top 10% Kens.

I will not take seriously (Spiritually) any book, teaching, video, or anything that has been boxed up, grasped, understood, known, spelt out and chewed out for an audience. I will still indulge but it will only be for the purposes of knowledge. Like I've always said, I love this stuff, but I also understand that the trueness and rawness of it is in the appearances. Not some book or teaching. If a book on the teachings appears, it's what's appearing. That book is not going to give me anything or tell me anything that I'll gain and can take with me to apply and accomplish anything with. It is novelty. A spiritual teacher is nothing more than a talking head with words spewing out from nowhere and from nothing. A man teaching me how to bake a cake and I apply that knowledge and bake the cake is an achievement. Insert any life's achievement there. Build a house, how to do whatever.....that's different. When it comes to spiritual stuff, it's already done, this is home, it's already complete, so there's nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to get and nothing to hold unto. No book can ever come close to this and can never hold within it anything that is alive, boundless and free. I don't need or not need a reference to this. It's just simply how I feel right now. I've heard enough, seen enough, read enough and talked about it enough to understand it's all nothing. It's all empty. No substance. I will enjoy a teaching or a book for it's own sake. Not to try and apply anything said or written. I don't need to or not need to watch movies but I still do. Same with anything else I do that's not related to making money to pay the bills. This is what's serious to me. Not making this serious. That's how serious it is. If I make this spiritual stuff serious, I have lost the wonder and the joy of it. If I read a book on it and try to apply anything, I've lost the awe, wonder and natural curiosity of it, if I take a course on it, I have lost the innocence of it. This stuff is so pure, beautiful, raw, direct, playful, spontaneous, truly magnificent that no words can even come close, why should I limit it to a book or a teaching. I always say I didn't ask to come here.....there's no I that is here. I didn't ask to come here but there is no I and there is no here. Jesus Christ, if you don't dig deep, you'll never discover this shit out. If you're constantly doing practices and rituals, you'll never discover this shit. if you're relying on quotes from dead people and reading books, you'll never discover this shit. If you're searching within, you'll never discover this shit out. You discover this shit by not trying to discover this shit. Be curious, child-like, explore, observe. It is not you and you are not it. It is not even an it. There is no you to be it and it is not an it. How the hell can I spawn from something that's not even a something. No one asked to come here and there's no one here. Jesus, how could I not see this before. Of course I said I, I've been saying I for eons. I feel like an I but I don't feel like i'm here anymore I feel like I'm nowhere just sitting on a couch. I feel like a person but I don't feel like i'm situated anywhere. I don't feel located.

Not numbers in cash. The rest is irrelevant.

Ok, you're right....meanwhile daddy O getting laid over there by Susie B. Too many speculations and assumptions and calculations. Top 10% of men sure are worn out. That's what I'm saying comparing to Leonardo Di Caprio while Thomas down the street getting his ting-a-ling done by Maryjane up the block.

lol. Jesus. That was brilliant. I'm staying out of this side of the equation from now on before I get hit with an equation from University Math. I could barely figure this high school one out. Hehe

Everybody is scrambling about. Moving on in life. Doing things, being a certain way. Worried about this and that - just to die. We fight and kill each other - just to die. We have to keep this thing moving so we invent stories like reincarnation, previous lives and future lives. We can't accept that there's just one life and that's it. Even if it means, not knowing in the next life that you were here before. What's the point in believing in reincarnation if you won't even know that you've been reincarnated. This life is where reincarnation matters, not the next. It has to be a thing now or it doesn't matter to the believer. The only way reincarnation is of any value to those who believe in it, is if it's believed in in the present life. If not, it's of no value. I die and come back but I don't know of my previous life, what good is that. They say some remember their previous lives. The same person will say there is no time and space. The same person will say they are God. The same person will say it's God living through all the lives. The same confused person will say life is a dream. The same neurotic person will say death is an illusion. The same delusional psychopath will say, there's only the present moment. There's at least one person right now that believes all of these things at the same time. That they are God, reincarnation is real, time and space are illusions, life is a dream, God is living through all lives and that death is an illusion. All of that held as a belief simultaneously. If you challenge those beliefs, they'll be able to come up with more believable stories to match up with that and challenge some more, even more bizarre stories that you yourself may start to believe because they sound so good and believable. You'll start to doubt your own stupid beliefs. You'll start to doubt who the fuck you are when they're done with you. You'll be asking for anyone with a course on the matter. You'll take a class and watch all the yt videos you can find on reincarnation, time and space and dreams and God. You'd be more confused than you were before it all started. You'd be searching out quotes from the bearded man on the throne or the dead guy that everyone worships and whose body is filled with maggots and bones eating itself. That's who you'll entrust your spirituality to and now form another belief system when you tire of the existing ones. It's the fucking cycle and goose whipping, tail chasing of this thing called spirituality you'll end up in and will not know your ass from your front by the time it's done with you. I just love me some life. It's so fucking filled with drama and that's how I got here to begin with from nothing. Who wants to be nothing forever. That's dull and boring. Give me something, please, even if it's a fucking lie and a fucking dream. At least i can feel fucking alive. Doesn't matter if I'm swimming in a pool of nonsense, I just want to feel alive. No one cares that they didn't ask to come here, everyone just wants to feel alive. Something outta nothing is better than nothing itself.

Ever stop to think why you have to learn how to be in life when you never asked to come here in the first place. I keep referencing the "never asked to come here" bit because, for me, it says a lot. Just the fact that most people aren't even concerned with this says a lot. That it's not the main topic of discussion in life period. I may have heard this about two times since I've been alive. Two times and that's pushing it, maybe once. There's a guy on yt ranting about this all day everyday, but apart from him, nobody else that I've heard brings this up. We have spiritual teachers telling us who we are, how to be, what we're not and all sorts of things concerning this topic. I know I've spoken about this before, but it's on my stupid mind once again. I'm not the mind, they say. Isn't that fucking obvious. I'm not the body, well that's not so obvious but they say don't identify with the mind. Who the hell identifies with the mind. What does that even mean. To identify with the mind. Listen to it? Do as it says? How does one identify with the mind. You're me, ok mind. Is it to not identify as the mind. I am the mind. Well, who is the I. I am a female. I identify as a female. Am I the female, is the female me. If I chop off my breasts and take hormones and have a sex change will I still be female. I will identify as male then. The mind is still there, presumably. The mind is there regardless if I'm male or female. No one says don't identify with your sex, but they say don't identify with something that's there regardless if I have a sex change or not. So don't identify with the mind, do I identify as female. Identify as awareness. Identify with the witness. See that there's something witnessing the mind and thoughts and the body. You are that. Jesus Christ i'm supposed to identify with a phantom, something I cannot see. That's me. Why the hell do I need someone to tell me that. Why the hell am i hiding from myself. What's the point. This what I'm talking about, all this mystery and confusion. Someone is at an advantage over someone else just because another person tells them who they are. We say most people don't even know who they are and will die not knowing. Well, they didn't inquire enough. They didn't ask another stranger who they were. I wonder if it's because it doesn't fucking matter.

Yeah, respect yes, we should all respect each other regardless. Not sure about compliance, though. Suggests obedience and submission. No real man will want that from his lady.

I'm not sure what you're saying here. What I'm saying is pretty simple. If women are having sex, then men are having sex too unless they're lesbians. Pretty simple.

I don't know why you men can't just look at the stats, the proofs and the numbers to see you're only talking from your experience. Check the jails to see how many dead-beat dads are locked up. Check the hoods to see how many babies are running around. Look at how the population has skyrocketed from 7bil to 8bil and counting in no time. Lots of men are having sex. The problem is you're speaking about sex from the women you want to have sex with. I bet you if most guys in a certain bracket (status wise, not looks) were to lower their standards and went out searching they would find one in no time. You won't approach the fat female or the female with the color hair you don't like or the short or tall female depending on your preference, the Indian, the Chinese the Columbian whatever....most guys have a type and when they find it hard to get a woman that's their type they say it's hard for a man to have sex. No, it's hard for a man to find the woman he really wants to sleep with. A man usually has to work harder yes, but that's usually because if all he wants is sex, for him it will be a bit harder because for most women they need a bit of stimulation to even want to have sex or will have sex with you. Court a woman who is willing in a way where you're so irresistible that it doesn't feel like work to you and she will reciprocate much easier providing she was willing in the first place.

Can't believe you of all people fell for this. Who are the women having sex with. Certainly not themselves. If you're saying for women it's easy to have sex, which is true, it's just most women aren't just looking for sex for sex's sake, then there are plenty of men getting sex from these women. Do the math.

Buy all healthy food for the house and don't eat out for atleast 3mths. Take your healthy food with you if you have to. 3mths should set the pace. Don't overcomplicate it and don't beat yourself up if you slip.

@kboneThank you, you too.

This was the main reason why I had to take another look into spirituality and it's teachings. One of, anyway. Without getting into it, I've realized that suffering is a by-product of separation and cannot be separated from the dream of separation, UT is the dream itself. No, I would probably just word things differently like "within" as there's truly no within and without and maybe to recognize that awareness is also a part of the dream of I am; but sure, sometimes we use words when pointing to things and sometimes one will see something differently than another while it's all the one at play with itself. No need to or not need to get technical about it, it's all the same energy being all there is. What fell away here, was a need to get it all right and to see it all as a play of the one.

No free will, remember.

IOW, shut up. This is why you felt the urge to say something. Love wants to express itself through intellect and other means. Love cannot be silenced. Even silence itself is an expression of love. It's all expressions of love. The departure of intellect is also love. It's all love. Can't escape love. It's all there is. So don't knock intellect, it's love's expression.

For me, it was religion, then nothing then spirituality, then me, now shooting for nothing again but with an edge of spirituality and me, so that pretty much boils down to the spirituality of nothing. Capeesh!!

@kboneI'm just trying to see all this stuff on my own be ripping everything apart and starting from scratch. I take pointers from elsewhere but use them only if I understand what they're pointing to and if they fit into the deconstruction and not the construction; same thing, I guess, constructing a deconstruction. I see Spirituality as another fools' game if not used wisely and is no different than any other institution that has potential to self-deceive, and because of it's nature, has even a bigger potential. I see most things in life as backwards as if when looked at through the mirror it straightens itself out and spirituality doesn't get a free pass on this. It's all in fun, though, and I'm also aware that I myself am delusional and self-deceived but i'm just having fun with this as nothing can disturb the truth of the matter and it's all the Absolute at play with itself.

It's the most brilliant, ingenious, masterly, magnificently superb, sensational, marvelous masterpiece of a joke there could ever be. It's so cleverly "designed" that it's hidden from everyone, within everyone, is everyone, as everyone and everything; and at the same time is no one and no thing at the same time. It has no intentions, no purpose, no meaning, no value, no goals, no nothing. It just is. It doesn't accept anything, reject anything, judge anything, not judge anything surrenders to anything, nor does it need to become or not become anything. It doesn't desire nor does it refrain from desiring, it doesn't worship anything nor does it not worship anything. It appears in any shape or form. It appears as no shape or form. It's hidden from the seeker because it is also what's seeking. It has no agenda and doesn't need to because it is also the agenda. It has no biases and it also has biases. It is the biases. It is everything even the word everything. There is nothing excluded. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING. It is what everyone longs for. It is a joke because it is also the "longing for". The desired is the one that desires. We seek things but it is also the seeking of things. We lust, but it is also the lusting, the luster and the thing lusted. It is the questions and the answers. I mean it is EVERYTHING. It is the confusion and the one confused. How can you cure a disease with something that didn't cause it. Because the disease is it and the cure is also it. How can you look at something that's not also you. Because it is the looker and the thing being looked at. I could keep going but you get the drift. It cannot be known nor can it be grasped because it is also the need to know and grasp. It is the looking and the thing being looked at. It is the smell and the thing being smelt. I mean EVERYTHING, There's nothing missing because what we think is missing is also it EVEN THE BELIEF THAT SOMETHING IS MISSING is also it. There's nothing to find, nothing to seek, nothing to know, nothing to deny or not deny, nothing to agree with or not agree with because it is also the disagreement. This is the biggest cosmic joke and the most exquisite of a masterpiece play EVER. That is it. And if you think you can stop being it, you can't because the stopping is also it. There's no escaping it because the escaping is also it. The only way this will not compute is if there's a person there. It will not make sense to a person an individual who is lost in the dream of separation, which is also it. IT IS TOTALLY FREE. Not liberation because that implies something to be liberated from. Not for the character but freedom is all there is. So free that it can also not be free. All the characteristics I mentioned above are all appearances as IT can never be known. THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

The poor ego constantly working on itself to fix itself. It can't help it since it was built on false claims and it's in shaky grounds. Leo doesn't help by constantly telling everyone they're corrupt either. Now it's mission is to try and get along with other false egos. Those other false egos have to be fixed in order for the other ego to get along with it or to live in harmony with it. No sense fixing yourself to live with other broken egos. Are you fixing yourself to live with yourself and for yourself. If you were the only one on the planet you wouldn't give a flying fuck about fixing yourself. Now, you're living for other fake egos. Tell me if that's not neurosis and delusion. Ok, ok, there's no one doing that. I'm not going to constantly keep saying that and playing devil's advocate like Leo in his videos......but Princess...you said no one is doing anything. Imagine every time I write I say but no one is doing that; now that'll also be a kind of neurosis and me trying to practice and keep eluding to that, that energy has to go. Imagine someone trying to practice noself. That's the utmost neurosis, the self trying to act like it doesn't exist. It wouldn't even know it wasn't there. Just as there's no one in these bodies but nobody knows that. The knowing energy is the person. When the person that isn't there is gone so is the knowing energy. Who's to know. This is why enlightenment can't be had. It's not something to gain. It's a loss and nobody is there to recognize the loss of oneself. It's a felt feeling. That feeling can fall away to reveal there was no one there to begin with and something can realize that as a felt sense also but it's not something someone does, did or can do anything about. Nobody says I am a self now and nobody can say I'm not a self now.

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