Princess Arabia

Very deep. Thanks for sharing this. I can resonate. Not in the exact way but similar. I let go of everything Christian for years and held no similar beliefs for a long time, and as I was in the process of becoming Atheist and started to say to myself there was no God, there can't be a God, it revealed itself to me. So, I was fortunate in the sense that I didn't have to do much unpacking and letting go of a lot of dogma because I was pretty much a clean slate. I naturally have an open mind anyway, so in this respect, I was open to receiving the Truth. There's still a lot to learn about myself and how the mind works but at least I know where to start from. Surrendering is the key for me, and even though resistance arises at times, I'm more aware of it, and with practice it becomes a lot easier. Most people need proof of this and that and are very logical in their thinking, but for me it is an intuitive knowing. There's still a lot to overcome because the mind is so tricky, and the conditioning is so deep, but awareness is the key to developing a strong sense of presence and I keep practicing the art of letting go and the recognition that things are just happening and that all we need to do is to become aware of how we respond to what's happening. What we resist persists. That's the real lesson.

S.I.P. My dear Mother. You are loved by so many. You will be dearly missed. It pains my heart. I will never be the same. I love you. I hate this design, but I know it is how it has to be. Until we meet again. Why, why, why oh why.

Hi Mom, I'm on the plane now going back home. The flight was delayed but it finally took off. Oh my, don't I have a lot to tell you. Everything went ok, just a little bit of time delay. Mom, did you see I could hardly talk. Paulette had to rush up to the stage to hold me, she thought I was about to fall. I was going to read the poem I wrote you, but I changed my mind because I knew it would have been a disaster so when they called my name, I just said I love you mom, then broke down. Anyway, it could've been worse where I could have passed out, and I knew you would've gotten out that coffin and picked me up, and scared the shit outta everyone there, so it worked out. Aunt Cherry was there and Jackie. Well, you were there, so you know. I wanted to jump in at the final burial when they were laying the flowers, but I said to myself. you would probably scold me and told me to wait my turn so I didn't bother. Did you see they live streamed it on Youtube. I was like just sitting there staring into space most of the time anyway, but at least it's on tape for me to look at whenever I feel like. Florida was hot but wasn't too bad. Miss Curry was helpful and she gave you a really nice whatever they call that. Afterwards, back at the AirB which was lovely, we stayed up for a while reminiscing about the good ole days. Mom, I miss you, but I know you're ok. You looked so peaceful. You never left the Lord and you were a devout Christian, the people from your church spoke highly of you and all miss you. Mom, even tho, I view things differently than you Spiritually, and even though I never told you about the stuff i got into, I knew you felt it, because of the changes you went through. Energetically, and I can't explain it, I just know you were affected somehow. I won't get into that but thats why those things were happening to you mother/daughter connection. About to land now, mom. Gotta go. Love you.

This is why if you just accept it for what it is and just stay neutral, that won't happen. It's an apology. Next week if it's a scold, it's a scold. If it's another apology, it's another apology. It's hard to see everything this way, especially when it's personal, but in this case, you can use it as an exercise, to practice. See it for what it is, no interpretations. It won't change your life that much either way.

Mom, tomorrow is the day and I'm here getting all freaked out. I don't know if I can handle seeing you in that condition. It's going to be very hard for me but thank goodness family will be there to help in the process. I'm sitting here at home seeing the picture in my mind and it's making me panic, imagine what the real thing will feel like. The brain doesn't know the difference between what's real and imagined so I'm going to have to conjure up some story in my mind to help ease the pain. I'll just pretend you're sleeping and having sweet dreams about our good times together when we used to talk for 3hrs straight and laugh about our times back home when I was a kid. Remember this picture. I remember when you used to yank my hair to try to comb it and I used to cry cause you we're so rough with it and it was too much to handle, now I wish you were here to yank it some more. Little Maya turned out to be a reporter and did good for herself, that little sweet baby girl. Lavern isn't in this picture, but I remember those days. Writing this has calmed me down a bit and Titi is here with me soothing me. You never met her, but she's quite the cat. She has a personality like no other cat I've had, and you know how much I love cats. I'll send you a pic of her sometime but for now here's to you and the kids you've raised that are all grown up now and will all meet again tomorrow. I can't stand it. I know I'll get through this, and it takes time, but it's hard going through the process. A different kind of hard. A hard I've never felt before, a hard that is harder than my petty little problems that's so minute compared to this. I've been trying to be normal and continue with my life, and doing this helps me. So long for now.

I miss @Moksha.

Your response made me chuckle. That's all I'm going to say. I'm still chuckling, re-reading it.

I started a new thread not realizing this one was already posted. It's been since locked as Admin, which I understand, suggested to just keep it to one thread, but you can read my response there. I would also like to add that please never make your reason to leave a forum because of what other's are doing or saying. There's a reason why you were drawn here to begin with and it's up to you to make the best of the opportunity. No one is going to be exactly how you'd like them to be, but you can choose for yourself what and how you respond to things, circumstances and people. Interact the way you like for people to react with you, submit posts that you find interesting or important to you, become that which you'd like to experience, just walking away sometimes shows you're not in control of your own decision-making and is dependent on others to make you feel a certain way. Sure, leave if you're done with it and see no value; but not because how others' are acting or speaking that doesn't satisfy your liking, because in the end anywhere you go, there's always something/someone that will disturb you if you're not grounded in your own being and presence.

I am starting a thread for those of us who would like to respond/comment on Leo's most recent blog post - "My Apologies". I thought it was very courageous and thoughtful of him to share this with us. It takes much strength, compassion and vulnerability for anyone to open up and express their thoughts and feelings in an open setting with the probability of being judged or criticized by those who were affected by remarks made by him, whether on a personal level or in general. We all know he can get a little aggressive sometimes in his responses and sometimes we take it personally without realizing that people are going through their own challenges in this work and life in general; and even though it's not an excuse to be mean or unkind, it is up to us as individuals to try to understand that people are still learning and understanding themselves and others and that we all go through phases in life, just like everything else in nature - we are no exception. Personally, I don't engage in too much politics and current events because I've recognized what it can do to one's psyche and the toxicity it can create within the mind and alters one's way of thinking about society and the world we live in. A little is ok for me; but as I am a very passionate individual, I have to be careful what I engage in because I can have the tendency to get overly consumed and overly opinionated which can take away from staying true to my natural self. So please take his advice on that and try not to get too caught up in the outside world as your inner world is more important and where our true power lies. On behalf of this forum, and to whomever it applies, I would like to express deep gratitude for Leo and this forum for providing a place to share our thoughts and feelings amongst like-minded individuals, and a place where we get to share deep insights and information that we can all learn from. I would also like to personally take this opportunity to thank him for having a space for me to journal my feelings, thoughts, pictures and whatever else I might find necessary in helping me go through the recent passing of my mother. Yes, I can do it on paper at home, but doing it here, I can do it more efficiently and constantly, which is helping me to release some of the emotions that flows throw me. So, thank you for that, Leo. Please share your comments and insights on how his recent blog post have impacted you whether negatively or positively so we can all see the influence it has made on the general influx of the forum. Not to compare notes, but because we are here as a combined collective consciousness and what affects one affects all, especially if you are actively participating and sharing insights and perspectives.

I didn't see it but are you suggesting that I take this one down.

Yes, I believe so. I'm very spontaneous and free spirited, which has it's positive and negative aspects, but overall I'm more attracted to guys who are more grounded and has a sense of masculinity, but not in a macho way who is very dominant or over-bearingly aggressive, somewhere in the middle to be able to handle my strong personality, while at the same time able to bring out my femininity where we balance each other out. I'm very flexible and open to different types of personalities but do have a baseline which I will not cross or veer from and that is a respect for me, women and people in general. Of course, we're not perfect and sometimes survival mechanisms get in the way of our judgements and how we respond to others and situations, and even myself can get disrespectful at times, but I'm speaking overall mannerisms and behavior, it should be your dominant characteristic. I highly value respect for others because it shows a sense of care and not just out for yourself without regard for the feelings of others. I guess being an Empath myself is where this comes from. All this came with more maturity.

When I was much younger, I used to be attracted to the player types, but I was just having fun and partying. As I got older, the player types are actually a turn-off for me, because I can see right through most of their bullshit. I'd rather a player be upfront with their intentions than to try to squirm and weasel his way with me because nothing he can say to me will make me sleep with him other than if I want to or not regardless if he's a player or not. The men that I find attractive now are the ones that can stimulate me mentally in an intellectual way and that I can hold interesting conversations with, but also have a sense of humor and are not too serious about themselves and have a deep respect for women. My type now is not the type most men think I would like. It has little to do with the physical and more with the mental aspects.

I ended up listening to this in its entirety. Very interesting insights.

Exactly. He's benefitting somehow, consciously or not. Plus he's getting feedback from us which is fueling that energy. If we stopped paying attention to all his nonsense. I bet you he'll stop. @Holykael, I'm talking to you too, but you and I know you'll just come back with another story.

Mom, let's lighten up the scene a bit. Here's your favorite group. I remember you used to play Abba all the time. I couldn't stand it. Now here I am dedicating their song to you. I still can't stand it. Lol. Love you mom. Funny how all the other videos I sent to you made me cry but this one. I cried enough last night, maybe that's why this is the one today. I'm doing OK, though...no im.not...just started again. Ok let me play this stupid song that doesn't make me cry...love you.

Are you the body or not is the question. I'm still identified with the body, but I was just saying what true freedom is. I'm not living from that space and probably never will, but being aware is also a step in the right direction as it helps to raise your consciousness. There are stages to this, and the more we let go of what we're not, the easier it becomes to live in the present and become whatever it is we choose to become since we're not attached to the body and it's conditioning.

Mom, it's hitting hard tonight. I just realized that you're actually gone. Damn.if I do damn if.i don't. I try not to wallow .but when I think of you I can't help it. There's a knot in my stomach tonight. It's hitting me.know like a fucking brick. See you tomorrow..

Here' to you Mom. I love you.

Lol. There are no losers only winers. Lol

Because he's God choosing not to. He knows what he's doing. It's the role he's playing. It fits in perfectly inside the big picture.

Pain is an illusion.

I would be the witness of the pain that's arising. I'm not saying things don't appear and disappear, but that's not who you are. Things are appearing from within Consciousness. Sensations occur but you are still witnessing that. You as @Someone herefeels pain, but awareness doesn't. You are aware of the pain. You do not exist, that's why you die. Only Consciousness exists. Who you truly are is immortal, infinite and limitless. I'm speaking from the Absolute sense not the relative domain or the projected 3d world. This is only an appearance.

You cannot be what you can observe. You are not the body. You are Consciousness observing the body. It just appears that way. Who is the "you" you're speaking of. You're speaking in duality. A 'you' and a 'body'. That's two things. Consciousness is one.

And Consciousness is loving every minute of it.

True freedom is recognizing you are not the body and you are only the witness of what's happening in your awareness. You are untouched and will always remain untouched by what's apparently happening. Just like the space in a room is untouched by what it occupies. You have identified yourself with the body/mind and now you're enslaved by it. Things arises, but true freedom is when we recognize who we truly are, work on that.