Princess Arabia

No one doubt it wasn't fear. Why demonize fear. It needs to be brought to the light and shown some love and it will transform itself. But that isn't the point. Yes, it was fear, so what. It is a survival mechanism. You're acting out of fear too because of your criticisms and judgements of her. You yourself said if it's not love it's fear. Nothing wrong with her being fearful. We have our own reasons why we fear things. Who are you to determine what one should be fearful of.

This is speculation and doesn't have a ground to stand on much less expand upon.

It's not your ex you're trying to get over but your loneliness. If it were your ex you were just trying to get over, you wouldn't have mentioned that the only girls you have a chance with are unattractive to you. If they were attractive you'd be all over them and you'd be like, "what ex". So do yourself a favor and see through that self-deceptive mind of yours and try to get over what took place during the break-up and how it transpired and take the ex out the picture because you're not trying to get over her, you're trying to cure your loneliness.

@mr_engineerI just did a web search for those pictures and I found them and their connected websites. So you see, all that talk and I couldn't get the same thing from you that the girl refused to give him and you called it fear of whatever you said. You have to be able to back up what you're saying and not just talk and rebut all the time.

Lol

Plus your point here is invalid because you would never just go up to a stranger on the street and just say would you like to have sex with me right now. Would you. Your first conversation is just that. Would you like to have sex with me right now. No. Maybe approach her first, get to talking a bit, feel her out and if she's flirting with you real hard, maybe touching your dick or something like that, then you would find it more appropriate to ask her then. But why not ask her to begin with. Because of inappropriateness. Not just because of society or a rule book but because of your inner judgement. The way you were raised, common sense or just using your inner innate judgement and survival mechanisms because of the repercussions that may follow. So it's not about rule books or societal norms at all times but using inner judgement and your innate capabilities to use discernment as to what's Universally appropriate for living in a society where we are expected to adhere to people's right to their privacy.

I like you can you pm me a picture of yourself, your family and inside your home and especially your bedroom. Please. I'd love to see them.

Do you have an archive saved for all these links. You amaze me with how you have a link for just about every dating question. It's like you're the Google of the forum. Nice. You must have been through extensive coaching or did a lot of research about relationships and the dating world.

Love this post.

Yes, I loved how you said that and included the word identity. It's the identity we have chosen to become that will reflect back to us our experiences. It's not what we want that we get but who we are being that unfolds. The script has been written and circumstances will unfold in our lives that goes with that script based on whom we have become.

You have already changed, maybe because of a particular insight you've had or maybe you've just hit rock bottom and have no place to go but up. Same as when one has suffered a lot of pain which causes them to awaken. I say this because i've seen the difference in your tone and your approach to this topic and it's not the first time. It's been in succession now and i haven't see where you've turned back. Remember how you used to be where every comment was negative and you were just always like that no matter what. Now, you are a lot more calm and more interested in finding a new approach because you saw where you were only hurting yourself. I'm assuming here so correct me if i'm wrong. Don't wait to start dating because there will always be growing to do especially if you're older and already have certain things unrelated in place like finances and work related. It is in the actual dating that will allow you to grow through introspection and responsiveness, notice improvements or what you need to work on and give you the practice you need. So no need to wait because you'll never really get there because perfection shows itself in different ways. You're perfect right now for the compatible person which answers your last question. Try not to see it as improving yourself but changing the way you see things and being receptive when the opportunity presents itself. It's best to focus on the things you mentioned at this time but not with a mindset of I don't have anyone or I need sex so bad or I'm going to try not to mess up or somewhere along those lines, but more of a I wonder what it would feel like to have so and so my life or wow what would a woman look like in my bed right now and making beautiful love with her or its been awhile since and I can't wait to feel that again type of vibe. Yes, you can visualize and affirm but affirm in the form of a question as in what would it feel like not I have a woman or I am having sex. The regular mind won't accept that but the subconscious will set out to answer your questions and show you through experiences as in an "ask and it shall be given" type of thing.

Remember, everything is not concrete, especially in dating so situations and circumstances vary. First, you say "never seem to fit into what a woman needs". Unless she's looking for her expenses paid, a woman doesn't really set out consciously looking for her needs met. It's innate. Meaning, women love to feel secure, protected, wanted and loved while a man likes to feel needed, that's why you framed your question that way. Yes, we like our sexual desires met but that's usually the after effect of however that comes about. So to fit into that, attraction, as in what I stated in the OP, comes about first and then the getting to know each other aspects and during that phase maybe it may reveal itself if the right kind of conversation happens. There's always someone for somebody, it just takes a matter of making yourself available and giving off a particular vibe. Sometimes it may seem like one person chose one over another but the choice is being made for and indirectly by both because of the energy at play, that's why it's important to kind of embody that which you would like to receive as in if you just want a one-night stand or just to hook up casually you don't want to come off as serious, too rigid or asking too many personal questions, be flirtatious and casual and the energy will fjnd you, so-to-speak. Sometimes like attracts like and opposite attracts. The toxic girl can still be attracted to a non-toxic because the energy seeks balance but will drain the hell out of you and suck you dry. So sometimes these aren't conscious decisions it's the force that's driving the situation. This happens when you find someone being attracted to someone they usually aren't attracted to and are shocked by their attraction to them saying that's not really my type but somehow I find them very attractive - it's energy at play and they become a vibrational match to that energy. Glasses makes one look a bit more studious or even older but it doesn't matter too much generally for either sexes but for women it's better if they compliment her face and style. Guys can usually get away with that being unnoticed so don't be concerned with that. As far as satisfying a woman when she's horny, that will come after she's already decided to be with you so just be attentive to her in bed and either ask her what she enjoys or feel your way through it. Every woman is different. Tall and skinny with glasses won't matter if she likes your personality and she feels comfortable around and with you. You have to decide in your mind at least what type of woman you're looking for and then make yourself available as in hook-up only, go to bars or clubs or online for that reason. Relationship - online or everywhere you go keep your eye out and be available internally as in don't approach women you wouldn't have as a gf or be kind to just regular women you meet to give off the protector vibe and so on, If you sit at home moping all day about how single you are and how women suck or life suck...you will not give off the necessary vibe, it HAS to start internally, Not sure if I answered your questions to give more clarity but bottom-line is who you're seeking is seeking you, you just have to be open to receiving. No there's Noone out there for me or all women are this or that or I'm not attractive enough or anything like that. Just like how when people seek trouble they always find it because that energy is even stronger than love because there's more energy that goes into that.

Ok. I read your responses and respect your perspectives on how you look at things. Continue on your journey, much love to you.

Exactly what you see. That's not signaling; that's direct communication. No need to decipher anything there. Content is irrelevant. Just move on. In the meantime, do as you're doing now, find out how you're repelling girls and learn from it without judgement of yourself and the situation. It will depend on the type of girl that's why it's important to just keep it simple but engaging just like you're doing here. Do you see how it's just flowing; let it flow there too, respond, not react. Be curios without being too attached to how it's going. You're not doing that here.

Soooooo powerful. Very important to understanding how to balance the relative and the Absolute and how to navigate life with both polarities, Love this and it opened me up to a greater understanding.

That's even worse. Some people don't even get to the family discussion until after the engagement and proposal.

Silly.

Don't be like a "questionnairee" on a date or even meeting for the first time. It will sound like an interview. Questions yes, but let them flow and allow for her to open herself up to you without using too many questions. How do you do this? Well, talk about yourself a little bit (not too much for coming off too self-centered), then say "how about you", after you told her you like sushi, say how about you. Make it light and at with ease. I love to dance, do you, I like salsa, it makes me feel alive. Maybe we'll go sometime if you'd like that, then pause to let her answer. Learn how to mimic her body language somewhat without it being obvious. If she smiles, smile back, if she crosses her legs, stand in the direction it is crossed to face her. I mean, don't make it seem as if you're interviewing her for a future relationship candidate. Crack some decent jokes but let it flow and just talk about life in general and not too much about yourself or her. That's how you engage without being too awkward and repelling.

Lol. Not so soon, buddy. Slow it down. It's nothing to do with protective of family more protecting of oneself. Not sure about Chinese culture, but somethings are just Universal. Nothing wrong with asking about the fam but there's a time and a place for everything and a first date just ain't one of them.

You should have been a poet.

Hehe.. Too much logic and studying and trying to "figure" things out in order to control outcomes. Reality has a way of kicking us in the ass because of it's spontaneous nature and also polarity.

Cool song but you didn't have to go there.😂

This is what studying certain things can do, we try to apply it to situations that we think is so and take it out of context because of lack of discernment. If a guy asks me for pictures of my family and inside my home that I just met and i refuse and block him, that doesn't equate to me having an avoidant attachment style, it means i'm exercising my God given right to choose who I allow into my space and reject what I'm not comfortable with. Do you think all those happy couples out there ever since the dawn of time and up till now knew anything about attachment style, much less to evaluate a potential date before hand? This is a prime example of how knowing too much can hurt instead of help us. Too much logic. Too much evaluating. This isn't even using logic anymore it's downright obsession. Might as well find out what their break-up style is while you're at it.

How about it's the Self that's experiencing Infinity; but, there's a price to pay. Nothing is free, there's always a give and take.

Maybe that's what's needed for new ideas, change, love and freedom. It's called Polarity. Can't know stupidity if wisdom doesn't exist and vice versa. Nothing is really being held back, there's no rush in what is at play here in the Universe. Acknowledge both as valid.