Princess Arabia

And then you die.

There's Noone to know.

This is nothing to do with anything. This Journal has no motive nor an agenda. It's just writing. There's no purpose for it but it's still happening. Not by me because there's no me. Not that I don't have a sense of writing this, but feeling is just happening, but not by me. I never said when I was 2 or 3 years old that I am feeling a me inside or I didn't say to myself oh here I am, this is me, or I will make myself feel a me it just happened. If I want a glass of water I say to myself, I'm thirsty, I want some water. I didn't have to do anything there, it just happened. When I get up to go pour myself a glass of water, I don't say to myself, how am I going to do this? How am I going to get up, walk and place my hand on the glass and pour it in my mouth. It just happens. Even if I want to be cute and test it out and have a monolog skit and prank myself and say, I'm going to say I'm getting up and i am walking and I will place my hand on this glass and drink and act as if I'm teaching myself the process like a fool, that will still just be happening. No matter what I say, do, whether I say there's no me or there's a me or there's no mention of a me or no me, that would still be what happened. There's no escaping what happens. What happens is Reality. Not what I thought happened, not what I wish happened, not what I hope to happen, not what I think about what happened, not what I didn't want to happen, not my stories about why it happened and neither my analysis of what happened but what actually happens. The mind-fuck, though, is that nothing really happens. How? Because if what is happening is the only reality and now I'm saying that reality is what happens then how did my drinking of the water yesterday not reality now. If my writing of this is reality and tomorrow it will be a memory how did reality change into a memory. If I say well, that was reality but not anymore and what i'm doing now is the real reality than from which moment do i consider it to be reality. Is it the moment when I started this sentence or is it errrr...now....errr, is this my new reality or does it continue till the sentence finishes. Reality is tricky. What is the present moment. Is it errr....now...errr, or is it errr...now errr. Is it the presence inside me? Is that the present, but I already said there's no me. Is it the presence in my body, what part, the brain, the mind, where is this presence. Ok so it doesn't have a location, so how is it called presence. Where is it. Ok, let's say there's a me a person, where am I. Ok, I'm here. Where. Sitting on the couch. I see a foot, and a hand and a stomach and a toe. Is that me. What about the back of my head, my heart, my lungs. Ok I can feel the back of my head, but I can't feel my lungs. Ok I can feel where the lungs are located, but why can't I see it. What are my eyes. I can't see them, but I can see through them, is that me. So I'm using me to see me. Why can't I see all of me and why can't I see my eyes. Don't ask why, just accept it that that's me, this is me, I am me. I'm a lot of things. I'm the eye. Ok the eye is me. The foot is me. The body is me but I can only see part of me. Hmmm. Why can I see parts of you that I can't see of myself. I can't see the back of my own head without a mirror, but I can see yours. Thats not fair. I only get to see my kidney if I do surgery and ask to see it before the transplant, that's not fair. Ok, I will say there's a me, no, I change my mind, there's no me, sike, there's a me, no me, a me, no me, me, no me, me, no, me, me, me. There's a me, I'm still writing, there's no me, I'm still writing. Didn't make a difference. Now, is that no difference because there's really a me or there's really a no me, or it didn't matter because they were just words. Does it matter what I say in this regard. No because writing is still happening. Does it matter if I say to someone there's a me VS there's no me. Maybe, maybe not. They will react. Thats the only difference, how they react. Does it matter if I fill out a job interview and say to the lady there's no me but I'll write my name and pretend there's a me. Yeah, I might not get the job she might think I'm a looney. The difference is how she reacts. Wait.,.so the difference with me saying I'm a me VS saying there's no me is how others react. Ok. Interesting. How will I act if I tell myself there's no me, I guess I'll act invisible, or act as someone else, or go beserk, or someone shrugs and call me an idiot and I get mad. If I'm looking at a tree and i'm looking at my foot, I'm perceiving a tree with vision and my foot with vision. Same with a car, a house or a frog. If I'm looking at my hand same thing. Is the tree me, no. Is the foot me, yes. So I can perceive a tree and my foot with the same act of looking. Everything that I perceive except for what is not my body isn't me. As soon as I perceive a part of my body its me. The same act of looking. Why isn't the tree me. Because me is looking at the tree. Why is the foot me, because me is looking at the foot. Hold up. So if I'm smelling a tree that's not me, is that a different sense I'm using. Ok I look at a tree that's not me and a foot that's me and i smell a tree that's not me and smell a foot that's me. Looking and smelling are two acts that uses different senses. The tree isn't me but the foot is me even though it's the eyes that perceive both. So I guess the eyes can perceive itself since the foot is me and the eyes is me. Ok so the foot is not me but a part of me. So where is me. Ok, the foot is mine. Mine who. Who is the mine. Ok that's enough of that. Me is driving me crazy. So maybe it's just perception happening. Happening by no one. I can't really see how I can perceive parts of the body and not other parts and I can't see how I can perceive something that's not me and perceive something that's me using the same mode to do the perceiving. Is the tree perceiving me back. Is the tree looking back at me. They say the Universe is like a mirror, so if I'm looking at a tree the tree should be looking back. Wait, they say I'm projecting the tree from my consciousness. So, my consciousness is a projector that means I'm not consciousness. Ok I am consciousness projecting a tree from my own consciousness. Isn't this fun. I could write all night.

Made this Yoghurt Parfait this morning. Pretty simple. Yogurt of choice and top with fruit and nut. This is Greek Yoghurt, topped with 🍓, blueberries, raspberries and banana. With a sprinkle of chopped Brazilian Nuts and Hemp Seeds. Delish! Can drizzle with honey if desired.

It is undefinable, but nothing wrong if there's an attempt to. You're putting stipulations on what already is. Even the trying to define it, is also it.

I didn't say it is complicated. It appears complicated. It's neither, it just is. Even saying it is simple is saying too much because now there's a comparison.

Because it appears to be complicated. Two sides of the same coin.

Mountain Rose Herbs is a good company.

❤️❤️ I was going to turn it off when I first saw it was a cat, didn't think I would stomach it. But I'm glad I made it through. Cried the whole way but it touched me so deeply. I had to keep seeing the divine in that cat to help me through it. Wasn't forced to watch, but I wanted to.

Porn is porn. Jerking off is jerking off. If you just watch some porn and jerk off and leave it at that all those other mind fuckery wouldn't even come into play. Now, there's a problem, now we analyze, now we build upon what we think is the cause, now we go get help, now we talk and make it seem sooooo complicated. Now life goes on and porn will still be there after you die. It doesn't care about your neurotic relationship to it. It is impersonal. But not you, everything is about you. Life revolves around you. Not porn. It's not even porn. We gave it that name. It's just energy fucking. Having a grand ole time while we need to go get therapy. Go jerk off and jerk off some more. Jerking off is having a party too. Everything is having a party except the mind. The mind hates parties. It wants to vent, argue, criticize, judge, complain, demonize, hate, envy, attack, I mean everything but party. Even when it parties, it gets nervous and has to drink and do drugs to feel at ease and uninhibited. It can't relax. It needs constant stimulation. Complications. Go jerk off and feel good without having to not feel good about feeling good. Even when it feels good it has to feel guilt and shame. Go jerk off some more and jerk away the guilt. You'd be wishing you could jerk off some more when you turn into that emptiness . No fingers or hands or porn to jerk off to. You'd be coming back for more. Then you'll be right back in therapy. Geesh, an Infinitude of total madness.

Ok, I'll go get some therapy. I hear IFS is good.

How do you know this. You think you're the only one asking this because you don't see people walking around saying this. You're oblivious to your assumptions. Maybe 90% of the worlds population think this on a regular basis, you don't know. I don't ask, where am I. I ask, what is this.

Ok

You're right. Best thing you said so far, It's all nothing. Even your words. My words. Empty, empty empty.

Truth needs no defense. Why does it matter what I say. It's all hate. Better?

You want to argue, don't you. Well, I'm not available for that this morning. Maybe some other time.

Lol. I guess most guys are sex workers too and low value. Smh.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Your words are also love. A nothingness form of love.

Mine is delayed texting. When somebody texts and I promptly return their text and they take forever to respond to my text. Then, when they finally respond, I promptly respond again, and they take forever again. Put this on repeat and the one conversation will last for hours, with it ending with a text from me with no response until a new text about another topic emerges and I am in decision mode as to whether to promptly respond or just take my time when suddenly I get a text back before I even responded saying.....???, as in what's taking you so long to respond. The nerve.

Some quick tips to add to your lifestyle and to help cut down on toxins. * Use banana peels to shine your chrome and leather shoes. Buff and shine with cloth. * Use baking soda or bottled lemon juice instead of bleach to wash your white clothes. * After eating out, instead of using those toxic hand wipes they serve after meals, use cut lemons instead. * Headache? Try peppermint oil. Rub on temples and sniff. * Lightly Constipated? Eat a banana, an apple or the gel of an aloe plant. Rub your tummy very fast and put pressure on the pelvis to help release the bile. Aloe is also good for diarrhea. Stay away from Metamucil - cut holes in the stomach and causes leaky gut syndrome. * Need help eating a healthy diet? Binge on healthy Youtube videos for a while and make sure to watch videos that makes foods that looks yummy to you. This will help you to stick with it or help in the starting process. * Cant sleep? Put couple drops of lavender essential oil on pillow, soak feet in Epsom salt, drink ripe banana skin tea - just boil in water. Try deep breathing.(Google 4-7-8 method). * Crush strawberries can help to whiten teeth; so does turmeric. Dip toothbrush and brush. * Stay away from drinking hot liquid in Styrofoam cups. They leach toxic chemicals in the drink. * Dirty fingernails? Rub with lemon or lime or orange peel. Soak in baking soda and/or Apple cider vinegar. Rub honey to moisturize and rinse after a few minutes. * Lingering cough? Take a tablespoon of raw honey. That'll do the trick. Great for allergies too. Make sure it's raw or real unprocessed honey or straight from the bee farmer. * Never use artificial sweeteners like Splenda, Sweet-n-low or Equal. Recipe for disaster in many ways. * Stay away from conventional mouthwash, they are laced with alcohol - Listerine is one. Very bad for mouth flora. Use food-grade peroxide, cloves (make a batch of clove tea and store in fridge), salt water, essential oils like peppermint, grapefruit, lemon etc, diluted apple cider vinegar but don't brush before thoroughly rinsing mouth as the vinegar can be erosive to teeth. * If you do nothing else for health always drink water first thing after waking up. Very vital for cell reproduction. This habit alone does wonders. Thanks for reading and don't obsess. Very bad for the nerves. Balance is key.

New meaning to, "rough day at work?". Lmao😂😂

An apple cannot be an orange. So, if we are love, we are already being love. Hate is also love.

How about another, and another, and another. Better yet, probably shorter list if you name what you like and is not a pet peeve, hehe.

So if one has a habit of picking one's nose, that's a stress response? If one has a habit of hanging up on people because of whatever reason, is that a stress response. If one has a habit of waking up and first thing they do is grab a lollipop, is that a stress response, if one has a habit of driving a certain way, is that a stress response? Why do we feel that bad habits, (and I say bad because we label them that way), is a result of a stress response. It's not, it's just a response.