Princess Arabia

I didn't say we don't have anything else in common but what is common amongst EVERY person here. It's the only thing ALL of us share, the rest is divisible. Not everyone is using this forum for self-improvement either, other reasons are at play. There are other sub-forums unrelated to self-improvement. I just said Saturn and used it as an example.

It's not always about pick-up lines. Girls just laugh at those if they're funny but doesn't really accomplish much, especially if rehearsed. Pretense of shyness can only last but so long as you will always have to be on guard that you don't turn into the opposite. No need to pretend to be shy, no need to be shy, just ordinary. Cool is always nice, I like cool, cool and easy as in easy going.

Exactly. Not so much shy as in bashful and low-self esteem, but in a non-aggressive type way. For people who read this and think a woman NEEDS to feel special in order for this to work, no. If a woman needs a guy's approval to feel special, then that's no good. What this really means is that YOU will come off as standing out above the rest. Women get approached all the time, so it's the guy that really needs to stand out and showing her that you really like HER, accomplishes that. She will remember you, she will want to talk to you and get to know you more because curiosity kicked in and she wants to know what is it about her that attracted you to her. Other factors are at play, but somewhere along those lines. Especially day time approaches. Night time also, but not so much in clubs and bars, as anything goes there; and people are drinking and are more uninhibited and poorer choices are made and regrets kick in the next day.

Something just came to me that I would like to share. In life (the "mundane" stuff) we're just performing tasks. Going to work feeding the kids, buying the car, the house, even entertainment, buying clothes, everything. We're performing these tasks for survival, for maintenance of the body, for ways and means to feel secure, a sense of freedom, to feel loved, a sense of peace joy and gratitude. All the good stuff - you know the deal. When you've Awakened to your true nature, and I mean really know who and what you are, you may feel unmotivated to continue doing those "tasks" because you've recognized that they don't fulfill you. During your Awakening those feelings were magnified and now nothing comes close. You were only doing those things and were motivated to do them because of the feelings they generated within you. Even the job you didn't like was still giving you a sense of purpose and maybe a sense of productivity and worth. Now, you're unmotivated to do the mundane things because you don't have a reason to anymore. You wanted to feel secure but now you're already feeling secure, you wanted to feel loved, but now you're already feeling loved, you wanted to feel the freedom that working these mundane jobs provided, but now you don't crave that feeling anymore from Awakening to your true nature. Either that or those feelings want to push through more intensely but you're unmotivated to do mundane things to let them flow through. I don't really have the solution for this lack of motivation, and I do believe it's partially for the reasons stated above, for which I could be wrong, and could only apply to some and not all; but If it applies, maybe this is the time to really focus on your passions or the things that you enjoy the most because you did incarnate in this body for a reason, and that is to experience what it's like to be human from the perspective of Source (did I say that right - or is it the other way around), and maybe your Awakening is a message to you to really start living and to make yourself available for all the joys and pleasures that comes with this recognition instead of not allowing Source to flow through you in the unique way it wants which only you can do. Your lack of motivation could be the body being used to the adrenaline of "fake" fulfillment and the mind is telling it that it is already fulfilled and now it doesn't want to move to fit into the new paradigm of being already fulfilled because it is conditioned to do mundane tasks. The body and mind are not aligned, or maybe it's the mind and body that's not aligned with the heart. Not sure, but something isn't aligned.

Because there's an agenda. In your case, you didn't have one, it just happened. Effortlessly.

The I AM KNOWS. The Absolute cannot be known. There is no Absolute truth only the Absolute which also includes Absolute truth. What he discovered is also a part of the Absolute. The only thing is discovery happened to no one. I'm not going to keep this up with you because it really doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you say the I Am is the Absolute Truth and it doesn't matter if I say it's not. That's all the Absolute and doesn't change much. It will only be the I strengthening or dissolving and either way neither ever happened.

Why are you making assumptions that what was being said came from a teaching. Understanding requires knowledge and knowledge requires a person that knows something which implies separation which is what the I AM represents but only in the dream.

You say the same thing but in a different way at times, The only difference is you believing you're a person, a someone that knows something. If you take that out the equation all that's being said equates to the same thing. You're like the scientist that tries to figure out Reality unaware that it is what it's trying to figure out. All you say is fine and dandy and is also the Absolute, but there's one thing you're missing and that there is no you.

Because this is already fulfillment and freedom. The only thing is, it is fulfillment and freedom for no one. The "I" thinks it's real and keeps searching for wholeness and completion which is this already. How can something that is already whole and complete be more whole and complete. Take the person, out the equation, the one that knows something, and what's left is just the Absolute "absoluting". There's nothing to seek because seeking implies separation and the one that seeks to fulfill a hole will never fill that hole because there's no hole to begin with. Happiness is a fleeting state and states are illusory because they need a person to be states, and the person is also illusory. Why do you think nobody gets out of this "alive". Because there's no one to begin with. It's the Absolute appearing and situations, things, circumstances, people with a life, etc are seeming to happen but they are nothing appearing as something. Everything is nothing and nothing is everything.

The illusion is not what's been said. The illusion is in the interpretation of what's been said. Reality is not an illusion. The Absolute, which is everything, including what seems to appear, is not an illusion. The I AM is the illusion. Separation is the illusion. The stories and interpretations of what's appearing is the illusion. What is, is not an illusion. Your body, the things that appear, the changes and movements, the sights, sounds, hearing, sensations are not illusions. The only illusion is what the I AM, the individual and the apparent person interprets from what's seemingly arising. If there was no language, there would be no world, no interpretations, no agendas, no personhood, no life, no achievements, no seeking, no....you name it. Language was invented by humans. There is only what's happening. It's only humans that have a life, an experience. Without an experiencer there's no experience, just what's happening. Which is not an illusion. Everything is apparent, which means seeming to happen. There's actually nothing happening. There's no one that anything is happening to. The mystery is what is this that is seeming to appear, and no one knows because to know implies separation and someone to know something. That's the illusion. All knowledge is illusory and what makes the dreamer seem to be having a life. There is no life, no world and no one, only bodies appearing. It's all just a mystery, but not unto itself, because there is no self. Only This, appearing as a self. Here comes the naysayers.

Depends on the time of day, who I'm with, how I'm feeling and how much wine consumed.

Sounds like a tiger ripping it's prey apart. Lol

This doesn't even have to be the case at all times because a 5min quality interaction with someone can leave a bigger, more positive impact than a 10yr relationship that was filled with bitterness and animosity towards each other. Not everybody will give you a great experience and add to your life, but the more quality engagements we have will be great experiences even if just for a brief encounter because you're not looking at that person as a number.

Guys need to start listening to women sometimes on these issues because we're the ones you're approaching and trying to date or whatever. I'm coming from a place where i'm not bitter towards men and have been approached many times in my life. I can say which ones seemed to be just a numbers game or who don't really care if I say yes or no to and those guys I tend to avoid because I can tell it won't be worth my time and energy. Not saying to not approach many times, but in the thousands is not worth it in the end if your main aim is to actually interact.

Guys it's not in the amount of approaching where the success lies. Success meaning the reason for the approach. If you're just approaching to get better at approaching, then yes; but at some point, that has to escalate into something more personal if the goal is to get personal and start interacting and to get better at your dealings with women and relationships. We are dealing with people here, not some job application where the more applications the better your chances of landing a job. When you get that job, you still have to go to work and engage in that job, even if you end up leaving at some point for whatever reason. You now have experience and can be more qualified for the next and so on. Thousands of approaches, whether months or years, is burnout; and by the time you get that date or relationship you will feel entitled because of the hard work that was put into all the time spent approaching without landing. Like a plane approaching the runway but never getting to land for a while due to circumstances beyond its control, then finally everybody claps and sighs with relief then you're exhausted due to anticipation of whether you'll land or not. It's the same feeling. That 999th approach that says yes, you well be too exhausted to even enjoy the times spent because all you're thinking about is the other 999th times you're going to have to put in for the next if this doesn't work out. I say don't put numbers to it. You will get numbers and interactions, but not the quality ones you want; and it doesn't matter if it's just sex or whatever you desire from it, it doesn't matter, because you will be having sex with someone you're not attracted to just because she said yes, and now you're disappointed and low-self esteem kicks in for fearing you can't attract the type of girl you really want. Go work on yourselves inwardly and put yourselves out there and only approach women you really wouldn't mind dealing with on some level and let the ones you don't care to go by with just a mere smile or hello and small talk if appropriate. That's my take as a female and some will say you're not a man so shut up; but this isn't rocket science as it applies to other areas as well and this is why so many men are hating on women and the pills were formed because men are burnt out and have had it with rejections and not being able to have loving relations with women because they are concentrating on the numbers game while avoiding having quality interactions for fear of the next skirt slipping by that they could potentially score with.

I agree. Keep approaching for the rest of your life, to master the skill even better. Maybe get a masters while doing millions. When you're 80 you will have graduated with honors and receive a life-time achievement award for the art of approaching, maybe even write a book on the subject.

Yes, I get that, but thousands of approaches leaves no time or very little time for these things. I mean, how much time does one person have in a day, week, month, year, including other aspects of life to accomplish and get good at all you've mentioned, while accomplishing thousands of approaching. It just seems like a numbers game at this point with not enough quality interactions and development. Approaching alone doesn't help in these areas, actual interaction does, which takes time, effort and energy,

This doesn't make sense in respect to the reason for approaching other than being successful at approaching. If you found a gf through approaching, why would one need to keep approaching. Plus at some point, gf or not, isn't there sometime in-between for interaction, dating, sex etc,

Your whole narrative on this thread is the most sense I've seen you made in this section thus far. (respectfully saying). I've seen where you've commented on other topics quite "sensefully"(sic), but the dating section is usually quite controversial with you. I can't agree with you more here, and even though I'm not a male, what you're saying makes sense.

Lol. True.

People that live on planet earth have and share more similar interests than those who live on Saturn. Humans that have two feet share more in common than those who only have one. People who listen to rap music share the same interests and have more in common than people that listen to head banging music. I mean, I could keep going with this. This is a sameness VS differences situation. You have taken this philosophy or whatever you call it and twisted it around an it has lost all context. There are people here who never view the Spirituality section, some never comment on the dating section, the political section the intellectual section. Never ever. Some only comment on one section; and like me, are all over the place but mostly spiritual health and dating. There are people from different countries with different ethnicities, nationalities and race. People with opposite views on the same topics. The only thing in common that each and everyone of the users here share is that we are human and I'm not even sure about that, but that's another discussion.

Hey, it's all about making money and these YT channels are surely cashing in, There's a female right now eyeing some of these dudes but their mind is on making it a special night out to do cold approach. Some of my best dates came spontaneously and without any formal approaching, just plain old sexual attraction and fun times.

omg, funniest comment ever. Leo just knows too much. He's not a grump. Too much multiplications, divisions, subtractions and square roots going on in that big forehead of his. Always thinking and contemplating, always skeptical about his own shit and his mind bullshitting him. Always mistrusting his own judgements and calling out the wrong kinda bullshit, and he'd be like, hey wtf, shut the hell up mind, i don't like you, you're always steering me in the wrong direction. I didn't wanna go there but you made me do this shit. So now he hates human bullshit 'cause he knows it's the collective consciousness that's responsible for his fuck-ups. Oh my! Now he's really gonna can't stand human bullshit especially mine.

Yes, I very rarely take men that approach me on a whim Hoff, seriously. Most of my dates in the past came from just regular guys that were spur of the moment kind of thing. I'll give a few examples. Once I went to a facility and the guy at the desk was kind of handsome and we were just talking regularly chit chat and he asked for my number just casually at the end of the convo. Rest is history. Another time, just a regular guy in the neighborhood and we hooked up through just seeing each other on the street and exchanged numbers. He didn't approach formally approached and I wasn't looking for a date, just normal stuff. Another time was just through mutual friend and a house party, I mean just normal shit. Not when a strange guy says, hi, I like your outfit would you like to hang out sometime. Idk. How do I know that. I never even knew this was a coordinated thing amongst males till I got on this forum. To be honest, I never even realized it was so hard for guys to get dates, it was always an assumption of mine that women were the ones finding a hard time because we don't approach men and there were so many women to pick from. Just like how guys are assuming shit about women, women are also assuming shit about the game. I always thought how lucky men were to have their pick because women had to wait until approached for not seeming pushy. This shit is news to me.

Yea, but in this case, you're only getting good at approaching. Nothing to do with success. Getting good at the type of women to approach and how to handle the approach is worth a lot more than how much you approach. No? Just asking.