Princess Arabia

Start to see (without the eyes) how you're creating your story. It varies but I'll name some examples. If you're suicidal, you'll start to see more stories of suicidals. This one is a classic - think of someone and they appear/call/text/show up in some form way or fashion. Even here on the forum, start to notice people absent for a while and they cross your mind and they show back up soon there after. Notice how you don't have to lift a finger sometimes for some mental problem to be solved, it just gets solved automatically or by itself in due course. Notice how what you thought about a particular someone was because of a past experience with someone else. What does the current person have to do with the person of the past - nothing, but only in the story you're imagining and creating. It's everywhere and I'll keep adding to this list when I think of it, i'm at a block right now. Notice life will show up differently than you imagined and having to say to yourself oh I thought that was so and so or that person fooled you into thinking this about her or him. Thats because your story is different from what's actually appearing and it's being constructed. The dream does that. It's it's own world/reality. If someone comments the exact words you were going to comment but you changed your mind and said nothing. Meaning, you saw something you were going to comment on but you didn't and someone else commented saying the exact thing you were going to say.

I will be called a whore or a tramp (just saying, not that I am being called that)if I use my body to pay my bills and eat and not give away anything sexual to any and any guy I meet while a guy will be edged on, encouraged, high-fived and called a Don for sticking his dick in some strange pussy he just met without a condom for free and just go be able to cum or be with some woman.

Some men will think just because a female loves something done to her sexually, she's going to love it when he does it to her. It's all a matter of who it's being done by; and trust me, it won't be by some dude she just met. She may act or be a certain way under the influence, but it takes a certain person for a woman to want some special sexual act from. They'll ask "what turns you on" but it's more like " who turns you on". It took me awhile to even come to grips with how men can just be turned on by a woman's body without knowing anything about her. This was when I was much younger. Even now it kills me how men can just think they can ask me what I like sexually and really expect an answer for them to fulfill. I'm not talking about relationship wise, I'm talking about guys I just met or have never been with sexually. Doesn't matter what I like, it won't feel the same if it's not being done by a specific person, and that's usually someone you have feelings for whether healthily or not.

Wise words.

A woman will get looked down upon as a hooker just trying to pay her bills while a guy praised for wanting to tap some strangers ass simply because it looks good to him.

Everything in this life speaks for itself, you just have to pay attention. One of them is the disdain some men have for women that sleeps around. It's how they view themselves as a man that brings on this disdain. Notice how men aren't viewed negatively the more women they get to sleep with; why is that. C'mon people wake up; and men, stop telling on yourselves.

Women don't leave you, men don't leave you; they appear or they don't. Yeah, I had to throw in a bit of this shit in here. Gotta try to keep it a bit more natural other than that unnatural reality about men this and women that and making up stories to keep this shit going.

We don't claim the mountains to be ours, we don't claim the ocean, the clouds, the rain the volcano to be ours. We don't claim the neighbor's dog to be ours, we don't claim that other person's body to be ours, we don't claim......and I can list to infinity, but why not, we claim passing happiness to be ours, passing suffering and impersonal joy and pain to be ours. We practice neti neti and self inquiry that says we are not the body/mind/thoughts but all of a sudden we want to own happiness, suffering, sadness, joy, bliss, even competence, confidence and every other impersonal adjective and emotion that's just minding it's business and being itself. It's my happiness, my suffering, my anger, my depression, my joy, my love, my hate, my this and my that but that's your dog.

We're not seeing at all. Nothing is looking through these eyes. It's just seeing.

It seems like one is actively hearing but that sense s just going on it's own. Experiment. When nodding off, dosing off to sleep and listening to say a podcast, one can still hear the podcast in the background. Or a movie. Fall asleep on a movie and you can hear the movie in the background while you sleep. Let me see you do free will to shut that down. I can be in my room sleeping and hear the neighbor's music while sleeping. How's that me doing any listening. How's that a choice.

There is no process to something that's not actually happening,

The body will seem to attack itself if an outside threat is felt, illusory or not. It's energetic tension.

We're not seeking enlightenment, we're seeking an end to our suffering. Sad to see how we use reality so much for our selfish endeavors. All these awakening stories and enlightenment stories of how it impacts me and what I've gained and referring to it as "my awakening", really is funny. Everything is about my this and my that for the individual. Isn't it obvious how it's unbalanced and doesn't have any grounds to stand on but it's own illusory world of me and mine but uses other to get to where it wants to go.

Nothing wrong with any teaching. Nothing Absolutely wrong OR RIGHT (let's make that clear) with anything. This is freedom. Freedom doesn't feel good. Freedom isn't for anyone. It isn't limited to human conditioning. Freedom means all is welcome, nothing is off limits. Freedom is freedom trying to get enlightened to end suffering. Trying to awaken to it's non-existing true nature, congratulating someone in some trip report it had thinking it's God. That's also freedom being that. Can't go wrong and I won't say on the Absolute level but relatively speaking.....no...it's all on the absolute level because relativity is an illusion.

A lot of spiritual teachers went through immense suffering and found relief so now they're trying to teach other me's how not to suffer. This is just more pipe dreams and dream world talking to dream world. What is there to let go of when nothing can be held unto. They'll teach, let go of thoughts, let go of this and that, surrender to this and that but next week tell you nothing can be held unto. Thoughts aren't yours to let go of in the first place. When I realized that I wasn't my thoughts and blah blah.......ok then, there's no need to teach you're not your thoughts then is there, no thoughts to let go of if they're not yours.

This seeking energy is just wrapped up in and filled with addictive tendencies. It's just addicted to itself. Me,me,me,me,me,me,me. It can't help it. There's nothing outside of that institutionalized me world. Self-improvement, self-love, self-abidance, self- this and self that. All so not happening but seems to be for that world. Thats the dream. It's crazy because it seems so real. I cry when I realize how this stuff is. There's nothing wonderful about feeling (whatever that feeling is) even if it's not real or it doesn't matter. The feeling is the secret alright. It's the trick.

There is no Source. Everything is just being what it is without distance. Source suggest distance time and space. Nothing has a source. Yes, a mango seems to come from a mango tree, but the tree is not the source of that mango. That mango is 'Nothing' being a mango, that tree is 'Nothing' being a tree.

Enjoy!!

Think of it like this, do you still hang unto that drunk state you were in whenever it was. That high from smoking weed. Plenty of people have had experiences from altered states using drugs or alcohol. One can feel soooooo good on even some pills, they feel ecstasy and joy and bliss, then back down to reality it is. Why do you think these drugs are so popular. They make one feel good. They alter your state. Some can feel love, even feel God as they say....Oh God, whatever...all states, all experiences then it's back to 'normal'. Doesn't mean you're high forever, doesn't mean you have changed and turned into an enlightened being doesn't mean Jack shit other than you've felt like you've had an experience of......whatever that is. Keep going? There is no next, there is no when, if, there, why because, after, in between.....none of that really exists. There is just timelessness energy appearing as, that's it. It can appear as a person thinking they're enlightened - all empty and void of substance. We have seemingly turned the Absolute into a shit show of limitation and stale cum. We have limited infinity and turned it into a climatic opera rehearsal where we can look forward to an exciting finish and go tell it on the mountains to our other delusional buddies waiting to feel that enlightened bliss from some altered state then telling the stale story to our other fools that think infinity is there as a theatre movement for them to witness and become something from. There is no here and now, now and then, here and there, no next, no because of and no other interjection, abbreviation adjective or whatever in this here immediacy of Absolute wholeness and nothingness fill with emptiness and bizarre oneness of splendor freedom and liberated cockroaches. Nothing can turn this into a theatre of shit show enlightenment, only this itself can be that. Energy can play around all it wants and be all it wants but it can never be what's next, it can never be what's to come, it can never be "keep goin", IT CAN ONLY BE WHAT IS AND WHAT IS IS ALL THERE IS. So even it's keep going with your awakening bullshit and i will be enlightened fantasy is still what is and can be nothing but what is so that awakening means Jack shit to what is because it is also what is "acting like" it's awakening to itself. Such drama it loves to create. Then it leaves that energy high and dry then having it's buddies cheer him on and say keep going like this is even moving. It ain't, its not standing still either. So your future enlightenment is a shit show enlightenment prank by the absolute as the absolute acting like it needs to be enlightened because it ain't got nothing else to do but fuck around and play around for infinity.

Yeah, they're buddies. They're cool. These guys are the best. Something can seem to open up when watching these guys sometimes. Something seems to resonate that's not the person/me/individual. Like an intuition.

Where does the person go when the body 'dies'. To Timbuktu, I guess, or it just shoots out and disappear into space. Oh, I forgot, there is no person there, awareness is observing the person. Oh, it's just a body. I'm not the body/mind, I observe the body/mind's death. Shit, I got an eye witness, judge. Judge is awareness too so judge shouldn't need my eye-witness testimony. The killer is awareness too, so how am I pointing out myself. Gosh what a mess. Neti Neti not this not that.

When the eyes first open from deep sleep, the body seems to need time to adjust to that narcissistic, arrogant, neurotic, illusory sense of self that will take over for the rest of the day until it goes back to sleep. Coffee..please. I'm grumpy. Notice the body can feel a sense of shock if woken up too suddenly. The illusory self is creeping in slowly. Deep sleep, it's not there. Not there now, but somehow it appears to feel like one's there. That's the I AM. Needs time to realize that it is. I AM that I AM. Only illusion.

This shouldn't even be in the mental illness section. Asking about death is not a mental illness, thinking one is alive is. We're all dis-eased and restless. This is death.

Yeah, John (or whatever his name is, her hubby) died. She popped up and i clicked on it. Didn't even realize she was away 'cause I had stopped watching her for awhile. No one tops Alexis.