Marten

@meow_meow Hehe... no I mean there's a space where there is no breathing. It felt like drowning because the ego is used to breathing and in this space there was no I and no breathing happening, which felt like drowning because of the habit and attachment to breathing. But at higher levels aparently it is not necessary to breathe... that is what was experienced, if the body was breathing from an external point of view or not I cannot say. This led to the conclusion of "breathing is imaginary", which seems to be true at higher levels of consciousness. It was over pretty quick, will have to explore this space more... ego death is way different than "normal" existence...

@Nahm

@kireet You are so fortunate to be this aware early in life. I started doing 10 day meditation retreats at 19 years old and practiced it hardcore for 8 years, to hell with materialist pursuits and basic needs. Buddha was my role model and being a monk my ideal. I didn't lay a foundation for survival and thus thriving, and have been struggling psychologically and financially until recently. I'm in my early 30s and am just starting to get a better balance between spirituality and surviving. Life is becoming muuuuuch more effortless. Much more aligned with my heart, more joyous and creative. I think Leo is right about how precious our 20s are to lay a foundation, to fulfill the basic needs in Maslow's hirarchy. Great time to make a lot of focused effort into developing oneself holistically. Enjoy!

I'd say willpower has more to do with ego and courage is letting go of ego and melting into Love.

What takes courage is to surrender to Love, to being, to letting go. To be really honest, genuine and authentic. Everything IS LOVE. So there's no need to force onself to do this or that. There are no expectations. You are so very loved exactly as you are. Totally loved. You are perfect. It will bring you to tears. Relief and reassurance beyond anything else. Unimaginable until you experience it. Forcing has to do with fear. If everything is Love, then what is there to be afraid of?

I don't know if this resonates, but perhaps it's a good idea to focus on other things for now, like relationships, life purpose, mastery, travel etc? Get some life experience, lay a foundation. Theory and practice ought to go together hand in hand. If you don't feel like doing meditation then probably better to wait until you're ready for it or psychedelics. No use frustrating onself with mental concepts of Love and Truth because of lack of practice.

@gswva Suffering is to greater appreciate Love. There's no need to believe anything. Everyone has their own process. Focus on your own and melt into Love, at your own pace.

It is not rotten, not at all, it is flowering big time and always has been. Listen to Hans Rosling for example, it is clear that things are only getting better. I also love Leo's "conscious politics" and "spiral dynamics" videos as you can see even more clearly how Loving reality is. It is a Love simulator. Once you awaken to Love, you will see that everything is LOVE. You will know it in your heart and these things will not upset you. I used to have similar feelings. I wanted to be a monk. INTEGRATION has been key to overcoming this. Working with society. Having a balance between personal and societal needs. And of course consciousness work. We are all everything, we are literally IT. Any separation is illusion. A visualization which has helped me a lot, is to imagine expanding your sense of self when you feel hurt, to include everyone and everything around you. Surrender to the need of all (you are included in that but not exclusively). That is surrender to Self-Love. Look after yourself but realize how enormous yourself is - it is everyone and everything. We are in heaven, right now, this is it!

@Dario1995 Wonderful, happy to hear this! Who is it that was unconscious?

How open are you to try psychedelics?

Sounds a bit extreme. The question is how are you going to provide value to others if you don't interact with them? Yes developing yourself is valuable to everyone even if you don't interact, but how will you survive? You are part of the tribe of humanity. Why not work for a certain period of time in a year and then spend the rest in isolation? There are many people who live in campervans (vanlife) who work seasonally. It's also a way of minimizing living expenses, still be able to travel and have a lot of free time. Check out CheapRVliving on youtube. I've found that integrating consciousness work with nursing work, life purpose and family etc to be very rewarding. I'm an introvert and have taught myself to be social, and find my balance too. I lived in a campervan I built myself for a year. It was an amazing experience, but then I got over the feeling of being separate from everything as I started working with psychedelics. I got over the belief that I have to do everything myself and only rely on myself, which had caused me a lot of suffering. I realized I'm everyone so this illusionary boundary melted. I became a lot more open and interested in people. Low and behold, I've never enjoyed my work more than I do now.

@Scholar Yes, yes, yes! And maaaaaaaaan it is so very sweet to know this.

@Nak Khid This is what beginners do until they realize everything is Love and that what makes you happy is to just BE YOURSELF.

@BipolarGrowth Why do you want to perform miracles (what's you intention)? Sounds very extreme to dose that high. @Leo Gura has been talking about healing others but never did extreme high doses as far as I know. Have you heard of Kilindi Iyi? He did high mushroom trips upward 30 grams. Amazing contribution. He died recently of Covid-19. There are a lot of videos/ lectures on youtube. But as far as I remember he is mostly talking about extraordinary explorations and history/ potential of psychedelics, not siddhis. I have never heard of anyone going higher. I saw a video on YT a while ago of a young guy who accidentally spilled liquid LSD on his arm and it absorbed through the skinn. He kept having visuals for years, don't know if it ever stopped. He had other issues too. Can't remember how much he got but something like a 1000 doses. Couldn't find the video. From what I have heard the ego has to be surrendered in order for magic to happen. Maybe @Keyhole can explain it for us? Is that what separates white from black magic, intention/ surrender? And how are siddhis different from magic?

Lot of amazing insights, beautiful trip, thanks for sharing it! I feel for you. It is challenging to start a YT-channel. It seems one needs to make a lot of videos (>20) before the algorithm starts to pick the channel up seriously. And then it is usually a slow climb, takes maybe a year to get established. Maybe slower if working with spirituality. But hey, you have gotten past the first steps, sweet! Exactly! We have a big sexual shadow collectively too and it takes a lot of consciousness raising within onself to see it. After a while of working with psychedelics I was shocked at how sexual God is and the trips are becoming. So much pleasure, so much Love. There's nothing shameful about it at all. Yes! Surrendering. Melting into Love. Just wow! Brings tears to my eyes too. It is ALL LOVE, ALL OF IT!! ALL OF IT!!

Beautiful!

We are all One. Your own growth affects everyone else more than anything (even if it seems like nothing is changing). Always start with the "man in the mirror". Then be perceptive when others "ask for help". A lot of the time people need to express their feelings so it's great to validate feelings, that is to say that they are normal (i.e. nothing to feel guilty or shameful about). This will bring you closer and others will likely share more of themselves. It's important to accept people as they are, and not try to change them. Ironically that's how you help them change. Maintaining good relations and continuing to grow and being an example. I notice that spiral dynamics fly over most people's heads but if they are interested and open to it you could consider teaching them spiral dynamics - without labeling them blue or anything, let them discover themselves.

@Andrey_U No.

@inFlow High five! Whenever life is challenging or there is a "bad" trip, remeber: Something great is about to happen! And it is!

You transcend them by fulfilling them.

@Andrey_U Great! Yes exactly, this is all just self-hypnosis... but not the way you think!

@SageModeAustin A great question to contemplate that uncle Leo taught me is: How is this (whatever seems wrong/evil/bad etc) also Love?

@Andrey_U Relax. You have doubts and worry thoughts. This is completely normal. Sounds like you're doing very well. Let go. Melt into Love. Just be. Keep it simple. As you keep going you'll naturally move from head to heart. There will be less worry and thoughts. This means you will more and more intuit things, like what you want and what to do. Or rather it will just happen by itself. Let it unfold. It's a beautiful process.

@SageModeAustin You cannot make a mistake. It is ALL LOVE. Just melt into Love.

@Leo Gura Wow, yeah, amazing how society evolves. I remember than you mentioned the older more conservative generation has to die off in order for the younger more progressive to take over, only to then become conservative as time goes on and a new more progressive generation is born, and so on. That we get so "stuck" in our beliefs and values that death is really a huge factor in societal evolution, and hence spiral evolution. To me, one of your greatest contribution to mankind is teaching open-mindedness. I sense this can really help shift the balance towards more progressive evolution, sooner. I also sense that psychedelics is a huge part of that. My own views on politics and society are shifting big time, much thanks to "conscious politics" and working with psychedelics. I'm becoming less of a devil. I didn't care about politics a year ago, and was pretty cynical. Now I'm voting and being more responsible. I appreciate government and politics much more. Eyes wide open.