No-Thing

@Phrae You shall do what you shall do. Nothing you do or have has any value to anyone (especially not yourself).

@Toby Good point. Thank you!

@Toby I know what you mean. That's why I called it a non-technique. Language is just so incompetent to describe those territories. I wouldn't say though, that life has to force you through every single door. Life just shows you where you still resist. But enlightenment can happen right now without any causality.

@How to be wise It's not directly described in the book. It just help me become more clear about what I was doing for a while. So basically this is the process. You get knee deep (or better plunge underwater directly) into spirituality. Learn and embrace all techniques you can find and use them to release most of your ordinary stuff and identity. Than at a given point all that is left from you is spirituality and the though-processes and techniques you learned from that. In the beginning spirituality might be on your mind an hour or two per day. For me it stares me right in my face 24/7 whenever I am not 100% absorbed in something else. My mind kind of automatically contemplates on this topic because there is not much else left to think about. At this point there is no going forward as the mind will never grasp what it tries to grasp. The only thing left to do is to let go if the sinking ship all-together by using a non-technique like this. You let go of all remaining mind-movement (at least for a moment), face all the remaining fears that keep you from doing that and then plunge right into the unknown. And then? Come see for yourself. I think this step is what Jed McKenna describes as, "Kill your Buddha" but I am not entirely certain.

Warning: This advice is for people in later stages. You probably know when you need to hear this and when it's too early. Trust yourself! Seriously. Stop reading if you are just starting out or you are having a rough time. (I partly write this for my self) You have tried it all. You are still not there yet. There is nowhere left to go, nothing left to do. Going back is impossible. Forward doesn't exist anymore. You will never reach enlightenment. Give it up already! How often do you have to bang your head against the wall before you see it. There is no teacher who can help you. There is no book that will enlighten you. Stop looking. You are completely and utterly stuck. No perspective is true. No pointer will guide you anywhere. You are stuck and alone. Completely alone in and no one can help you. No it's not that. No it's not there. No it's not that experience. No it's not that state. No it's not even here. Why the fuck are you here? What are you searching for? There is nothing to be found. Does your mind resist that? Stop it. There is nothing to be found. Just stop. It is all bullshit! Nothing anyone ever said to you is true! All enlightened teachers are full of shit when they speak to you. There is nothing to be gained. Nothing will change. All the talk about enlightenment is just as true as Donald Trumps tweets, okey? Some nice words from people of this forum might make you feel all fuzzy inside but you know all to well what happens next. The feeling will fade and you are back where you started. How long will it take you before you understand. There is nothing to understand. Your work is done here. You have tried it all, haven't you? You are trapped. You are alone. It's all meaningless. Stop the stories. Getting sad won't help you. Getting angry won't change anything. It's not that, it's not that, It's not that! Stop seeking! Does it dawn upon you?

I sometimes like to think that the spiritual path is not about discussion. It's about hearing the right thing at the right time. Exactly :-)! You get it. The I that communicates with you and formulates this sentence is full of shit and has no idea what it's talking about. It never will. It's not a thing for the mind to know. Yes, yes, yes This post is for the ones who are still running Seeker.exe even after years of seeking. It's time to shut that program down. Here is some more fuel for the fire: I love you guys!

All of them I would say. I have been reading Adya recently and also stumpled about this differentiation. I knew the mind and the heart thing and I feel it occurring hand in hand but the gut thing was new to me. So what I did to investigate that was, while meditation (lying down I'd recommend) put your attention on the gut area and just allow it to open. I also included the pelvic area, my balls, the PC muscle and the great holy anus. Just focus on it, you don't have to use any technique. What happened to me was that after a while I felt something relaxing and opening up. I know there is still more to let go of but that's fine. I just keep part of my awareness on it throughout my day and make some of my meditation sessions about this area. RELAX THE ANUS! I would say as a straight guy we hold some tension in our anus (besides everywhere else)

Meditation is just a tool, albeit a very effective one! In the end it is not about meditation but about YOU! The greatest benefit that can occur from meditation is the realization that you don't need any benefits because everything is perfect just as it is. More shiny benefits I experienced: Clarity, peace of mind, states of flow (in day to day life, bliss states, tranquility, insights, awakening, concentration, relaxation, having a thing in my life that is independent from outer circumstances Tip 1: From the place you are at, I would say it is best to get motivated by those shiny benefits. Just keep in the back of your mind that in the end it is not about them. They come as a reward of your willingness to look at yourself very very very closely and be brutally honest with yourself. Once you experience those benefits and you cling to them, then what you should look at next is, "What is the root of you wanting to hold on to those benefits". Tip 2: As I said meditation is just a tool. In the end it is about what you do (or not do) with what you see while you meditate. Enlightenment can occur after 2 years of meditation or you can meditate for 40 years and still cling to ideas, concepts and beliefs. Tip 3: Start out with developing your concentration abilities. Which means choose an object to focus on (breath, candle, fingertips ...) and focus on it for a given time period. When your mind wanders and you realize it. Focus back on the object. Don't get angry with yourself, be gentle and practice daily

For you there is no going back, others may stay in denial a while longer and that is perfectly fine too. Many people have had these experiences without ever touching psychedelics. Blaming the drugs is a good way to stay in denial for a little longer. It works (for a while)! Creating existence and denying ones own essence is the amusement part of Nothingness. Just imagine you are the infinitively creative nothingness (which we are) wouldn't we create any experience, be it good or bad, when we knew it wouldn't change us in any way? How do humans behave while playing GTA? Does it get boring quicker when you have all the cheats and power in the world? Just be aware that your path is (probably) not finished yet. Enlightenment is not having "experienced" the absolute. A better pointer is accepting everything as it is on a moment to moment basis. Just be brutally honest with yourself. When we allow everything to be as it is we are as close as possible to our true nature while immersed in the human experience. Nothingness allows everything to be as it is. Everything is as it is. Look around, everything is as it is. But for now, just enjoy the moment.

@Alex K I don't know. I (mind) have no idea what is or isn't. I still keep the possibility open that all this enlightenment stuff is a pile of horse crap. There were awakenings but the memory of that could be just another dream. I feel lighter every day and my though stream becomes less and less aggressive, more like a purring kitten. So it feels good, even though there are crisis at times. I mean, I have this dream right now. I could kill my body but I kinda like this story so I just keep going. When it all gets too much, I just lie on my bed and relax.

(I use this thread as a part of my spiritual autolysis, but I naively hope that other dreamers might find value in it. It can be seen as an example of radical honesty. If this is not in alignment with this forum rules, please delete the threat.) My spiritual ego feels superior to Leo. It projects it's stuff onto him. It assumes that it knows how Leo actually sees the world. It criticises his teaching and comes up with thoughts like "I see that this is a trap, I surpassed this level a long time ago". The feeling of superiority is subtle but it is still there. At the same time it feels inferior to what Leo has created for himself. The need for superiority comes from the fear of death. Superior humans have a higher chance of survival and therefore to postpone death longer. It is clear that this line of thinking comes from a place of duality. It assumes there are two or more. It assumes there is an outside world. It assumes it exists. It assumes that there is death. I see that this line of thinking creates suffering for myself and others. I choose to let go of it. I am grateful that Leo was there to help me realise it. I now choose to see him and me as perfect in our essence just as we are. I hope you can forgive me Leo.

@Alex K Thank you for your input. As for the concept of death. On the path we "just" need face our concept of death, whatever that means for us. Speculating if there is death or not, from whatever perspective is just your thinking mind trying to figure stuff out that it can't figure out. There is no point it it. it's meaningless. It just keeps you from seeing your concepts and beliefs for what they actually are. This post and Alex made me see part of the reason why I post on this forum. I crave recognition from someone I value (Leo). Once I posted this threat, I felt an internal pull towards looking if someone replied and if maybe Leo replied. This emotion comes from a point of duality. I see that my ego structure craves recognition to justify it's existence. It assumes that it can only be worthy if it get's recognition and validation. It is not who I am in my essence. I choose to let go of this mechanism as I see it's futility. Craving recognition leads to suffering within ourself. I vow to stay aware to recognise on a moment to moment basis when this mechanism kicks in again.

You awakened from the dream. Now comes the difficult part. You will feel a split within yourself. Sometimes your conditioning ego structure will be in the foreground and sometimes you will just be still. Everyday you will realise how full of shit you were yesterday and that you are probably still full of shit today. There is no turning back anymore. The best you can do is to just surrender and point the flashlight of your awareness onto everything that goes on in your life. You might want to research the dark night of the soul. Don't make any radical changes in your life too quickly. Don't drag others into your stuff too much. Don't seek the absolute too heavily and get one sided. Enlightenment doesn't have a preference for either form or the formless. About your fear of infinity. I had the same just a couple of days back. It is just your ego making a story out of it. Everything is just as it is. It is what it is and everything is exactly as it should be so thinking, oh it is me alone forever and ever is just your ego thinking it is Truth but it's not. Don't deny your negative emotions. Allow them to be just as everything else. Don't think, oh in need to release them to become enlightened. Look at them and just see what they are without a story. Go further as Jed Mckenna likes to put it. Further! But at the same time, realise that there is nowhere to go and you are it already. Just don't make the mistake of thinking you are enlightened. The you that thinks it is enlightened will never be. The you that doesn't care about enlightenment is it already. It was and will ever be it which is a stupid sentence because it is outside of time.

I am reading Jed Mckenna's "Theory of Everything" right now for the second time. In there he explains this idea. Check out the book. The only thing we can know for sure is that "I AM/Consciousness", "Truth exists" and "Truth is All" so "I Am All". Everything else is appearance/illusion. So consequently no illusion is more illusory than any other. But see it from that way. Everything is exactly how it should be, so thinking about that stuff and trying proof it by having unusual experiences is a distraction on the path. Just relaxxxxx. Though you might investigate why that interests you? What is the underlying motivation for you to think about it? Are you bored with your current experience? Why? Do you feel the need to be special? Rather contemplate the fact that you exist. You exist!! How fucking odd is that? With you I mean me. Hi me!

Inspired by Leo's last insight post I came up with the insight that all identification with form is an addiction. Let me explain. Definition: Addiction is a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. According to the three characteristics defined by the Buddha we try to find our self (or alternative that which is permanent or absolute), in that which is impermanent (form) and consequently experience unsatisfactoriness. Let's put it together: We compulsively engage in form, as it is a rewarding stimuli compared to the fear we would have to face if we would turn the other way, and thereby experience adverse consequences (unsatisfactoriness). If the unsatisfactoriness of this addiction becomes bigger than the fear of non-existence then the spiritual path can begin. On the path we investigate in what ways in which we compulsively engage in searching our self in form. becoming conscious of this mechanism relieves the compulsion through which engaging in form becomes a choice. If be become more and more skillful and conscious in this pursuit the objects of investigation become subtler and subtler until we finally shine light on our final identification with form. Then the addiction is broken and we can engage in form without trying to find our self in it. But what do I know.

It is really fun. Once you get the hang of it there are so many coincidences. The more you surrender and the more aware you become about what goes on inside you, the clearer it becomes. Things start to flow and kind of work. Even if they don't work out from your current perspective, just surrender cause what the fuck do you know? Surrendering doesn't mean non-action by the way. It means more inner non-resistance.

Ok here is a thing you can try out. It might sound a bit out there (depending on your programming) but I have fun playing with those things. 1. Don't make a direct effort to stop your solitude situation. 2. Tell the universe or whatever you want to call it. "ok, big spaghetti monster. I am a bit uncertain about this solitude situation. Show me what I need to do for my next step. I am completely willing to surrender and do whatever you want from me" 3. Then you wait and don't change anything. Just become aware about invitation of any kind for you. It can be a concert flyer that grabs your attention. Someone asking you out. It can be anything, just listen to what your intuition is telling you. 4. Have fun playing

Hey Dan, listen to your intuition for that one. Sometimes you need more socializing and sometimes less. Sometimes getting input from "normal" people can be also refreshing and helpful on the path. If you develop a spiritual ego and take it far to serious than hanging out with "normal" people will get you in check. Are you able to put all this aside for an evening and just have fun? If you sit at home all day and try to push it, push it then maybe that is the next thing you need to look at. Partners and friends are mirrors to you. They reflect to you what you are and you project it onto them. You can speed up your growth if you engage in social and love relationships. Stuff tends to come up when you are in a relationship. There is no right amount. Let go of control, let go of fear, let go of wanting to be separated and then you intuitively know what you need.

I don't know if I need to cry or laugh ...

@Snick Yes that is what I realised in my awakening and it TERRIFIES me! I am especially being terrified by the infinity part. I am alone forever and ever and ever. I see God like a little child playing with him self, playing hide and seek and I AM fucking that! I can be ignorant for little whiles but I currently oscillate around this black void and I have no idea how long I can keep it up. I know I need to go into that fear but I am so fucking scared that this is real it is actually real! I can't believe it. You are me! Haha I love you. Game is over guys. Switch on the lights.

@AlwaysBeNice Yes, projection is your/my teacher. I got drunk tonight and wrote here because, fuck it's all me, I am all alone here playing with myself. At my first awaking experience, I said to my girlfriend, "so it is over, we can't play anymore?". We/I am like a kid. We create this experience for ourselfs because we are bored of infinity/nothing/everything. Hell, I don't don't know I am you, you are me. There is nowhere to turn to, it is all me.

@Snick thanks man! I haven't seen it from that way before. But it is really fucking scary right? And it really sucks right? Like, it's all their fault right? How am I doing?

@Shrek_Of_Justice You are so right, man. You always say this wise shit when I am at this stage of the game and freak out. I love playing with you :-)

@Shrek_Of_Justice I get where you are coming from. Just chill is probably the best advice ever given, but there is no life purpose. Being is your life purpose. Imagine. You are playing a game with your buds. You dim the lights and tell stories. Everybody is immersed and plays his role. And then, you jump up, turn on the lights and scream, it is just a game guys! it's all fake, it's not real. "ahhh dave, shut the fuck up man we were just so into it." why would you want to do that?

@Shin thank you for this perspective