LearningPodo

I have a catch 22 emotional problem. My parents are super old fashioned and it's hard to be on the same page with them. When I talk with them I am not on the same wavelength and although they are super sweet it results in a lot of emotional neglect. It's like when they talk, I barely feel like they're talking to me because they're not very emotionally intelligent at all. When I'm around them, I get OCD but somehow I still feel loved. When I'm living alone like in college right now, the below the surface emotional neglect trauma pops up and I get OCD within my own mind and it's like the residue scarring that's left. Sometimes it kills me when I ruminate too much, I have to like force myself out of my room because I don't trust my own mind to not spiral downwards. I don't know what to do, should I try and get therapy? My school offers free therapy services I think.

Hey, So I'm currently a college student and it's my summer break before I start my junior year. I really want this to be a time where I grow and learn a lot, and I've been pretty motivated ever since school ended. I've already read about 3 books, took online classes in subjects that I'm interested in, signed up for a gym membership and have been going almost everyday, etc. So for all those college students out there or early 20 somethings, what have you been doing to fill up this time? Just curious Also, just curious, but for you fellow university students, how have you decided what you wanted to major in and do with your life? I know this is such a broad question and I should listen to myself and what I want, but sometimes I run out of ideas and insights if I'm stuck at home all the time and lack the experiences / wisdom to know how to think in the correct way, right?

How do I stay clear-headed all the time and be able to focus on my intuition when there are so many crazy things thrown at us everyday and changes in life? For example, how am I supposed to stay focused on my goals and the big picture if, say, I moved to a new town where I know no one and it takes a toll on my mental health and confidence? How do I "see clearly" when I'm stuck in my house most of the day?

So this has been a problem all my life basically. So my parents are really old fashioned and they grew up in much poorer times in less developed countries. As such, growing up their worries were about getting food on the table, and they can't even comprehend why I would have issues like anxiety, for example. Anyways, they have no emotional intelligence and when I'm around them I usually feel like I don't exist because they kind of just talk at me (things like are you hungry? did you eat yet? have you finished classes), I never feel like I'm being talked to, just talked at like I'm a robot. Anyways, that's the problem. I like being alone so when I'm not around them I don't get lonely or whatever, it's just that being around them gives me SOOO much OCD because if you can imagine two people talking AT you all day but the conversation is so mechanic and like they're not talking to you. Basically I developed all these OCD habits just as a way to manage how much of a lack of control I have when I'm around them and they're complete lack of perceptiveness to anything. I don't hate them by any means, and I'm very grateful for all they've done for me but this is an issue that I don't know how to handle and it's affecting my focus and concentration in online classes because how am I supposed to focus if for hours a day I deal with OCD compulsions? Is there like a way to transcend this or somehow detach from my OCD??

Lately I've been tackling with the question of whether or not I want to join a frat. I've come to realise that there are many ways to think about this question. If you were to tell me that I'd be thinking of joining a frat when I was in high school, I'd laugh at you. I'm an INFJ. But having watched so many of Leo's videos and expanding my consciousness, I realised that the image I have of myself is just an image, and that's it. And I guess in the most absolute sense, "I" don't even really exist because "I" am just consciousness, so why can't consciousness join a frat and have fun and party? I typically am quiet and introverted, and my personality generally doesn't suit being in a frat. But I also know that I like to party and expand my sense of self, and that who "I am" is just a result of past conditioning, so why can't I let all of that go and pursue anything in life that attracts me? Regardless, I will still focus on my studies and that is still my first priority. Anyways, let me know what you guys think about this question.

They would definitely talk about whatever, but mostly they live really unconsciously and like in a really small comfort zone. They're really sweet and everything, but I feel like most times they just joke around and almost have this depressive outlook on life, which I understand because of the time and environment they grew up in.

After 200+ days at home as an only child alone with my parents, I'm getting really depressed. My parents completely neglect me emotionally, but it's not their fault. They're just really old fashioned and grew up in harder times, it's not like they're doing it purposely. But basically every time I see them for dinner or whatever, they just like talk about really little stuff like the food and whatever and basically I feel completely ignored, and this has been going on for 200+ days. I don't know what to do about this. I'm a college student and I don't know when I'll return to campus but every time I go back to my room after dinner I spend like 30 minutes just sitting there feeling pain in my chest. I want to stay motivated but it's so hard when I internalise that I'm basically invisible.

How do I go about my day and interact with people x and people y who may have their own bad habits and baggage but still remain independent in thought and be my own person when I leave their company? How do I not let their attitudes influence onto me?

I'm sure you all know the saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time around. Well I've been going through a little dilemma right now. I'm a college student and ever since starting college, I've felt myself getting dumber just because the people that I'm around are all low-conscious. In high school (I went to a great school and everyone was really really rich, educated, and actualised) I felt myself growing and getting smarter everyday just by being around them. I felt greater awareness of myself and was able to see the big picture in stuff. Even after a semester or two of college spent around low conscious people, I feel myself slipping. So my question is, how can I hold myself to a higher standard without being around those people anymore? I feel like it's almost this subconscious diffusion of intellect that happens, so I have no idea how to replicate that...

Hey so I'm a college student and recently I got caught for academic misconduct and I don't know what the punishment is yet. It's probably going to be on my personal record forever, and as a pre-med this is a big rest in peace. To be honest, I wasn't dead set on studying medicine in the first place so right now I'm not TOTALLY freaking out about this, although I did throwup a couple of times. I guess I'm just looking for some general advice from y'all actualized people right now, because the last time I was traumatized was a heartbreak and actualized.org saved me. You guys see the big picture in things so yea, I just want some words to help me get over the initial shock? General college / career advice could help as well. Thanks so much

Hey guys, So I know that I have quite a large shadow self, which I know are the aspects of my personality that I suppress in my psyche from conscious awareness. I mean growing up I didn't have an amazing childhood and I was bullied a bit here and there, as well as some traumas. So right now I'm living in the town that I went to school in (elementary through high school). In school, my peers were very white and "proper", and they didn't really tolerate people who were maybe a little bit loud or mean here and there. Growing up, I eventually learned to hide my shadow side and present the side of me that was sweet and innocent. Even when I'm home now from college, this environment causes me to suppress my shadow side. I don't think I'm a bad person at all to be honest, but I'm also not the person I play this role in. So my question is, how can I start to integrate some of the parts of my shadow into my personality even in an environment where I internalized it was not ok for me to have these traits? My parents are super old fasioned so it's kind of like I happily live in my head at home, all the while playing a character for the external world to see? In short, I lose my sense of self. I know I'll be back at college soon, and hopefully I can learn to express my whole self. But while I'm still home, what are some techniques I can use to integrate my shadow self that I've internalized is not ok? Thanks

@Zigzag Idiot Ah yea, I've been saving a lot of those "meditation music for bla bla bla" videos on youtube to listen to when I go to sleep. Hopefully they can help balance chakras and release fear and other messy emotions stuck inside me. I'm not sure how much they would actually work though. @Consilience Right! I've been doing that as well. For me, I like to look back on songs I used to listen to / pictures that remind me of a time I was at my higher self. I would think to myself, what would I be doing if I was at that time?

Hey guys, How do I go from my lower self (of the ego, the afraid self) to my higher self which knows inner peace and connection? I was always at my higher self until college started and life started to get a little messy. I'm a sensitive person and sometimes college life can be uncomfortable and chaotic. I was brought down to my lower self as the year went on and I started to internalize some social fears. Now it's summer and although life is fine, I feel an inner churning sensation as if some kind of subtle suffering. I find the need the always distract myself which is definitely a symptom of being in the ego. How can I transcend the "fear" and reach a more enlightened state of mind independent of what's happening in the external environment?

Hey so I know none of you guys know me in real life, but sometimes I suspect there's something mysterious inside of me. I like social interaction but I am also really comfortable in my head. I feel like sometimes I project a certain self image outwards that may not be consistent with the traits that I actually have, and anything that contradicts that self image I have of myself in my head tends to make me feel resistance and anxiety. I have a lot of empathy for people. A lot of people say that I am extremely perceptive and can almost see into their soul. Sometimes I can be manipulative to try and get what I want. Sometimes I actively suppress parts of my psyche in order to deal with stress and uncomfortable situations. Sometimes I do certain things in order to make myself feel more normal lol. Just like how I said lol in that last sentence to soften the blow. I always have conversations in my own head with myself. I have incredibly self-disciplined and am really good at managing my inner states. I've been isolated A LOT. My parents are really old fasioned and not really sensible, so I'm always in my head. Background info: I'm an only child, went through quite some traumas growing up. Didn't have many friends. I've been in love so it's not like I'm a sociopath or anything lmao.

Hey guys, How can I deal with the feeling of almost being dead inside? There has been a lot of traumas in my life including a heartbreak that completely shook my world. I'm in college now but I can't help but feel like a zombie living in autopilot. There is almost zero sense of soulful emotion that I exhibit. How can I get more in touch with my soul? I find it increasingly hard to connect with others on an authentic basis. All of my acquiantances and friends are so fake and I don't even really know them. I only know them from a narrow view of mind in which I've repressed all of the pain that is a part of me.