Nobody_Here

@NightHawkBuzz You might find the following attached graphics helpful. Fill in each section and you will get your life purpose or “ikigai.” As you can see in the diagram, a profession/career is part of the ikigai but they are not one and the same. I filled out a similar diagram as an example and got “enterprise architect” as my ikigai. An enterprise architect shapes an enterprise’s people, systems, and technology so they can optimize. A common example today of a challenge enterprise architects tackle is digital transformation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_transformation Don’t feel bad if you don’t come up with the most amazing career right away, as my journey took years to figure out what I wanted to do, and you may need to take time and gather life experience also before you make a decision. Also keep in mind that life purpose and career can change as you do, and there is nothing fixed about either. Hope that helps you some.

I view Turquoise as a “maintenance” stage: It maintains and optimizes systems formed at Yellow. It’s similar to Purple in the sense it recognizes there is so much humankind will never understand about the universe, unlike Yellow, which wants to understand everything and solve all the meta systemic problems. In short, Turquoise recognizes the limitations of Yellow, but at the same time can fall into the trap of being too passive about solving the world’s problems.

I am in a relatively new relationship (less than two months.) It occurred to me that a relationship that somehow embodied the values of Yellow would be a good match for us, but I don't know what that relationship would look like. Yellow implies independence and systemization, which are both things my boyfriend and I excel at. Does anyone have any real-life or fictional examples of Yellow relationships, romantic or otherwise? Ideas?

@Bob Seeker Thanks.

I couldn’t find your post, but I did find a video of their wedding vows, and I was impressed.

Then, there would need to be a fifth video comparing/contrasting Wilber's model with Grave's model. @Leo Gura can't skip that one.

Ah, the SparkNotes thread! Because I don't always have three hours to watch a video. This is the best thread on the forum if time is short (and for me, it usually is.)

@IAmReallyImportant I am also "really important," but I don't need to be successful in the eyes of others to prove it. I am moderately successful, but I see that as progress towards becoming really successful. I see myself as a CIO or CEO one day, not because I want to impress you, but because I think my skill set would be best utilized there. At the same time, I'm @Nobody_Here because, ultimately, I am no one in both the local and existential sense. You can have success. I would define it on your own terms, though. I would not focus on being a famous YouTuber or whatever. I would focus on a Life Purpose and then Dream Big. If you define success in terms of followers, you will probably feel empty even if you get that many followers. Why? Because "number of followers" is a superficial goal. Aiming for "something gigantic and big" is too vague. You want to make a big impact. That's cool. I do, too. I want to be CEO or CIO of a quantum internet company. I want to be an author of a series of books for victims of sexual abuse and sexual assault. See how much more specific those goals are? Granted, they can change and probably will. But note that the things I said have nothing to do with my social media followers or impressing someone with some big goal. I am leading digital transformation where I work and editing a friend's book about relationships right now. That's a far shot from where I want to be, but I don't see that as a failure. I see that as progress. So, the takeaways are: 1) Make your goals S.M.A.R.T. and within your control. 2) Base your goals on what internally drives you. Don't worry about social media. Social media will come later. 3) Moderate success is a stepping stone to big success. Even Elon Musk started with a smaller company (what turned into PayPal) before he got into SpaceX.

Nepotism was a problem for me as long as I let it be one. I thought I had no connections and wasn't related to anyone important. One day, I started utilizing my connections. It started with my boyfriend at the time (who I met on the internet.) He gave me a reference to a job that led to my current career. I make a salary in the high five figures and have experienced a lot of personal and professional growth. Then one day, I found out I am related to several historical figures. It also turns out Beyonce’ (yes, that Beyonce’) and Koryn Hawthorne (a gospel singer) are my third cousins. I saw Koryn singing at a local church and had no idea this person was related to me, so the experience in hindsight is kind of surreal. So what my experience taught me is that everyone has connections they can use and everyone is related to someone historical or famous. Even if it is not obvious who these connections or relatives are, you can still make new connections even if you're not sure where the relationships will lead.

If he likes to read, have him read this book. It is a good way (in a fictional story) to talk him out of suicide without making him feel guilty.

Please don’t become a doctor for any reason besides a desire to help people. You are dealing with people’s lives. If you aren’t aligned with what you’re doing, you may not only sabotage yourself, you could possibly make a bad decision that kills someone. I go to a General Practitioner who has been practicing for 30 years and is aligned with what he does. He is very helpful and genuinely cares for his patients, and we can tell! From past experience, I have learned to avoid doctors who hate what they do. One of them made a bad call that landed me in the hospital for 5 days. I’ve learned to avoid both that doctor and the hospital. I can’t afford to risk my life under the guidance of people who just don’t care. Move to California and become a psychologist. It’s more expensive, but at least you’ll be happy.

Yes, I've met people who invested well during that time and are now worth 8 figures. These weren't well-heeled people but working-class people. The 1970s were before my time, but it's a decade I'm glad I didn't live through. I mean, there not only was stagflation, but there was also Nixon, the Vietnam War, and disco. Ugh, disco! To be clear, I am not concerned about Zimbabwe-level hyperinflation, either. The feds say what is happening these days is nothing to worry about -- at least, not yet. We're going through difficult times, but I think it's better than a year ago.

What your parents have done is not your fault. It is not your job to fix them, nor are you abandoning them by moving out. If you want to help your parents, the best thing you can do for both them and you is to make enough money so you can support yourself and help them (if you so choose.) I realize that it's hard to get out of this mentality as I was in your shoes five years ago. I am only telling you that not only is it possible to live life on your own terms, but it's also your birthright. Five years from now, you could be living in your own place, making your own decisions, and living your own life. You would be as involved with your parents as you want to. I only live 10 minutes away from Mom and Dad, but that was a decision I made. My next move, if and when that happens, will be further away. Baby steps...

I am a female and turn 40 in September. I've thought a lot about aging since I'll probably live to be 90, given my genetics and current state of health. Although I definitely see signs of aging, many people where I live think I'm in my mid-to-late twenties. I take high-quality vitamins with higher-than-typical amounts of copper, eat a healthy diet, try to exercise (still working on that), am in good health, and subscribe on YouTube to this dermatologist. I also add a moringa/wheatgrass supplement to my smoothies. Combined with the copper, I have avoided dying my hair as I don't have as much gray as I did before using it. Except for the vitamins, most things I do cost little or nothing -- but in my opinion, the vitamins are a worthy investment into my health and well-being. You may have different priorities, which is fine. On the emotional level, I've had to deal with my mortality, the fact that I've never had a kid, and the fact that there are people out there that think I have less value because I've hit a certain age. My strategies in that order were acceptance, grieving the loss, and avoiding people who do not serve me. I think most people go through a review process as they grow older; that's normal. I am satisfied with my health and looks and attract others who feel the same about themselves and me.

@jasonjp1016, it's already happened in the USA (though admittedly not as bad as Zimbabwe) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1973–1975_recession

Strictly using "not working" as a definition of retirement, I don't want ever fully to retire -- with a couple of exceptions. The closest thing to retirement I'll have is only doing volunteer work or traveling to fill my hours. I'm willing to wait. I enjoy working; it's what that work is and who I'm doing work for is the issue.

I've read through this thread, and I didn't see anyone ask the obvious question: What are you going to use the laptop for? Don't say, "To make millions." Be specific. What features do you need on this magical, millionaire-making laptop that are worth $2k? EDIT: I re-read the thread and noticed you said "video editing" but I can do that on my 3-year-old iPhone at no additional cost. Once you have that, come back to us, and we'll look for a laptop (or maybe an even better device) that you can get for less than $2k. Personal example: My desktop is 6 years old, and for my purposes, it does everything I need. It was top of the line when I got it in 2015, and it was probably worth $2k at the time, but I struck a deal with the seller for $800. I can afford to get something new now for $2k, but I've thought about it, and a few hundred dollars in upgrades is what I would do if I decide to do anything. Moral of the story: Be wise with your money. Just because you can get something you want for $2k doesn't mean you should.

What's important to you? Many people find a career to be significant to find their life purpose. There's nothing wrong with retiring at 30, but it's not a good fit for many people as they want to work on something. A lot of people in the FIRE movement had a career and continue earning revenue on something. In my mind, seeing actual retirees, if you're earning money by working, you're not truly retired. Semi-retired, arguably, but not retired. Example of an actual retiree: My Dad. He's in his early 70s. Dad will call me during the workday and ask me what day it is since he and Mom woke up at 11 AM and sat in their jammies all day. He knows it's 3 PM on a Tuesday, and I woke up at 5 AM to get to work. He just wanted to remind me that he's retired. Dad is a retiree.

@BlackMaze, I can definitely relate. Since you can't move out right away, develop some strong psychological boundaries. Yes, your parents made a mess of your life, but you're an adult now (presumably), and you're ultimately responsible for your life, not your parents. They're only responsible for their own lives. You're not responsible for them, either, no matter what anyone tells you. If you want to help them, that's on you. I decided to take responsibility for my life at 34. I moved out of my parents' house at 37. I'm 39 now and have no intent on moving back. My parents and I get along great (although that wasn't always the case before I left.) I could write a book about what took so long for me to get my act together, but this a post in a forum, so I'll save my story for later. My point is that taking responsibility for life and moving out can happen at any age and time. If I can do it, anyone can.

Since you have the money, I recommend you move out of your parents' house and into a new environment where you can live life according to your values and get new friends that reflect that. Right now, your circle of influence (family and friends) is pushing you out of alignment with your values, so you feel resistance to going after what you really care about. It would help if you had a new environment to reflect on what you care about and what you want to do. I definitely recommend getting a job in the health industry -- don't knock being a personal trainer, even if it's just for the money while you get your bearings. I can easily see you do something like becoming a holistic healer of some sort -- like a doctor in the field of integrative medicine, a naturopath, a TCM doctor, or an Ayurveda practitioner, something like that. You obviously have the aptitude to get a doctorate, and you care about people's health. Since conventional allopathic medicine is not for you, so try a field of medicine that incorporates health, exercise, and spirituality. You have many options, but you won't have the courage to explore them if you surround yourself with people who are killing your dreams (despite their good intentions.)

Depends on the situation. Sometimes, the best way is like ripping off a bandaid -- do it. It's quick and painful but much less pain than if you drag pulling the bandaid off. Of course, if these people could physically hurt you, destroy your mental health, damage your reputation, or do another unpleasant thing if you cut the cord, it may be better to fade into the background gradually. "I'm busy" is a perfect excuse for this, even if "busy" means "busy reading a good book" or twiddling your thumbs. In short, this is a case-by-case situation. If possible, end the relationship quickly to replace people with whom you are not a good fit versus people who are potentially a better fit for you. Of course, if years later, these toxic people get their act together and become a better fit for you, by all means, bring them back into your life. However, you are your own person, and you are responsible for your life and your choice of friends. Weigh the consequences of your actions, and try not to burn bridges unless your personal safety is involved.

It's more realistic that China would attack Taiwan before it attempts to attack the United States.

@George Fil Forgive me for being Captain Obvious, but if you're passionate about music and good in Finance, why not blend your strength and passion and work in the music industry? You don't have to work a 9-to-5. Jay-Z is a businessman who started Roc-A-Fella and Roc Nation -- that's the reason why he's a billionaire, even more so than his musical talent.

@Leo Gura is right -- in fact, what he described is exactly what happened to many members of the FIRE movement during the peak of Coronavirus. I would be bored being completely retired for most of my life. I think self-employment is a better option than retiring at 30.