Lyubov

I’m leaning more towards one child in my late 30s to very early 40s. Because I believe naturally there is something right about having a child. It is such a fundamental thing. Nature doesn’t lie. My parents had me. I am authentically drawn to having a child as well. I believe having a child is a stage of life and it opens up a richer experience in life. It’s a responsibility for sure. I don’t believe kids are jsut some hinderance that distracts. Many of the most successful creatives had kids before making their best work. Many said it deepened their spirituality. I definitely wouldn’t go into it blind though, plan, be responsible. If it doesn’t work out it’s also ok. You don’t have to have kids and I don’t thing people who choose to not have kids missed out. It’s just different paths.

You wanna reach the top of the mountain but aren’t responsible to figure out the best way for yourself to the top so you put all your trust into a guide but then when following them you realize you’re half way up without a harness. Slowly and carefully climb down. There’s 100 other ways to get to the top. Maybe put a harness on and go back up? Start following your own path and making choices that are right for you.

You guys have got to stop putting Leo on any sort of pedestal or making any sort of comparisons to him with your spiritual path. Leo is the equivalent of an Alex Honnold type person in the psychedelic space. He has a very different foundation from you and is able to basically dive headfirst into the unknown without a harness. He calls it advanced. I wouldn’t call it that. Because your spirituality is unique to you and for you to be responsible for and explore. Is climbing Mount Everest the only place to explore? Do extreme feats always = wisdom or growth? Many people who haven’t climb mount Everest have been to plenty of other cool places and told their own unique story. This community has some degree of self improvement to it but that part is mostly just guys trying to get laid. This isn’t a site for resolving core issues or self improvement, it’s more about contemplating a certain aspect and perspective of spirituality that is very dry and cognitive. You have to branch out and realize there is far more to spirituality and life than what is taught here. Leo is an interesting guy and I have an appreciation for a lot of what he writes in his blog he articulates various facets of reasoning and logic and experience which are really interesting and helpful in me forming my beliefs and understanding some areas of my life. He has moved in recent times to distance himself from promoting psychedelics as openly as he used to and says openly as well the warnings and that he himself doesn’t know everything. So I think you guys need to take responsibility for your power and living as the creator.

Your location wouldn’t be a problem if you already were strong in everything, great look, lifestyle, charismatic, super extroverted and cool, etc. You’re making a thread on wanting to buy PUA coaching so I assume you are struggling. So yes, driving to mid cities in an already competitive dating environment, which I’m assuming you don’t want to sleep with overweight women and are shooting for conventionally attractive women, literally everything about your lifestyle probably needs to be reworked. Unless you have some really deep roots where you are and some huge social circle but why would you then have to go to nearby cities? If you are naturally extroverted and have a strong foundation (established lifestyle, looks and easily make friends) you will basically be in flow around attracting women you will naturally pull almost anywhere and at almost every stage of your life. This doesn’t sound like you and it basically sounds like you’re rebuilding from zero after a break up. Driving into cities and getting laid only really works if you actually have foundation and game already, driving to a mid city like charlotte for dating would be like driving 4 hours to the gym on the weekend. Nothing about that is optimal nor builds your foundation.

Dude do not spend money on coaching. You need to focus on getting out of that bum ass town. Even charlotte is shit, I used to live there. But it’s better than a tiny town. Save your $4000, you seriously need to put that into moving or upping your income. I’d even recommend you not waste money going to cities on weekends. You asked a question and it’s clear as day you intuitively deep down know what the next step is. You gotta get out of the town you’re in and hangs your lifestyle. A lifestyle that prioritizes dating assumes you have the foundation for it.

You should be trying to max everything if you're currently focused on self improvement / dating.

I’ve thought about this a good bit and I’m a bit black pilled on it currently. I’ve been really pondering the sort of “believe in yourself where failure isn’t possible” belief system. There’s another similar one you hear here for the guys struggling with women PUA “you are desired and can get any girl.” This is at least my holistic perspective where I’m currently taking these belief systems and trying to find a place for them in my life and make sense of them where they are harmonious with my spiritual journey and expanding consciousness. The thing is you can take on this failure ain’t an option mindset, focus on how you’re so abundant, take course, etc. There is reality and we sort of almost have to align with it first before we can insist on our ambitions. When it comes to earning money online you basically need a skill set that is 1) in high demand currently and 2) you have to be perceived as valuable and something other people want to pay for. There are really not a lot of spheres when looked at broadly when it comes to remote work, they can all sorta be grouped into 4-5 categories. There is a large underclass of remote work that is mostly crap, call center stuff, email support, project managers hired from india and eastern europe, cheap labor that’s outsourced to people who will do it for $5 an hour. Upwork and gig stuff. A lot of money flows here. If you are in the top 5% in what you do in this regard you can earn decent money. There are some tech guys who freelance and scrape together some cash. You get sorta a wide range of varied skills that are worth anywhere to a couple of bucks a day to thousands of euros a day (less that 0.01% of remote work). I have a friend who is like a skilled free lance professional headhunter who is able to find talent for tech companies in the UK. He makes six figures self employed. That is very rare. If you think you’re going to get some cushy six figure remote job with a reputable company, forget about it. Very few people are allowed to work remote by their company especially if it’s a reputable one. There are a few but it's mostly highly skilled senior staff. Start ups can be different but those come with a lot of problems and lower pay. What are you good at? What could you see yourself being good at or doing? Most of the social media guys promoting remote work are scammers or wannabe influencers, some earn cash, most don't. Those that do it's mostly through a snake eating it's own tail type market

Thing is there is a ton of shame around stuff like this and straight guys get real defensive when that’s questioned. it’s confusing as shit too cause granted most trans women 99.99% are not convincing or attractive but then there are a few ladyboys that are extremely feminine and exotic enough to push buttons by being different and then guy who really prefer conventional women gets a little confused when they get a lil aroused by a ladyboy. Would I date a ladyboy. Nah pass. Would I sleep with one? honestly if I was single, no. I would stick to conventional women. It’s not a line I feel comfortable crossing. Can I acknowledge some of them are sexually arousing due to their femininity and fetishized appeal? Yes ok. It ain’t a crime to be a freak. Would I yell this loudly out in a bar or to the boys. Hellll nahhh! I’m not wanting to be roasted and called gay by everyone.

This site always runs poorly. Leo can you fix it?

He explains in this video I think

Specifically neuro diversity, autism, adhd, etc. I’ve been classified in these areas too and I will say ultimately diagnosis and labels have really only harmed me when it came to awakening and taking back the reigns as the creator. If it’s helped you that’s good. I am speaking just for myself. Keep in mind though that I’m not denying anything. I’m not denying I’m different, everyone is different. And I’m not denying I have my strengths and weaknesses and quirks and need to be considerate of those. Ultimately pathology psychology is largely built around the premise of lack or something being wrong with someone. Basis of majority of mental suffering around a person’s self esteem. I embrace a path of simplicity and found nuance and pathological labels only limit awakening. That’s just my opinion, if you have benefited from your world view then by all means hold onto it.

These labels have only harmed me more than helped, personal experience. I can't speak for others.

I got two things to say They look more feminine and pretty than the average western woman. The guys calling bros gay for dating a lady boy probably got a really fat or mid girlfriend (or none at all) or probably even fap to ladyboys on onlyfans. Ladyboys ain’t for me, never been with one or anything but some of the hate they get is wild online.

I need to get out of Ho Chi Minh, air quality is killing me…

My experience too. Being way too focused on the ego is a trap. Ego deconstruction spirituality is boring and uncomfortable. Why would I focus on and create more of something I am wishing to create less of? You just love and embrace more and more and more until you don’t need to play games and test yourself constantly, you just are and it’s enough and realize it’s always been this way and is enough.

Nothing is coming. It’s already here. It takes only to remember. What’s coming and going is the 10,000 forms, but those are always coming and going, like a change in seasons.

We live in the unknown. That’s cool. Wouldn’t life be so boring if you knew everything? Like a kart on rails.

Everyone learns different. Some people learn more from x over y. I have been wanting to learn more from classic literature as well lately.

I mean in all fairness neither do you and in general this community, including me. Not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it’s worth stating your point of view and that’s all. But discussion is import I think and it’s sometimes worth the effort opening up to other’s POV even if we think we got it all figured out.

You gotta go deeper into your beliefs. I would do some deep self inquiry. Why do you create resistance to going out and being social? Do you believe you have to be social? If you have a feeling do not stop there, you got to go deeper down to what is creating it which is the belief.

Respect to @Leo Gura for not selling out. Def could have set up actualized to milk it for cash and push all sorts of garbage.

I don’t think it makes much of a difference for 95% of interactions. Most people are purely absorbed in their own world. Also most relating is fairly shallow and predictable. I think it affects more deeper relationships. Also the kind of new relationships you build and with who.

Your writing is very convoluted and unclear. Your recent threads are like a pile of cables all tangled up. I’m happy that this has helped you but I would slow down and try to refine what you are saying and be more concise. I would find that more helpful in understanding your perspective.

Great work. I left it too. Wanna know something interesting? I had the best success with women when I left pick up years ago and eventually I met my wife. Pick up is largely crap and won’t work for most men. I think the only thing helpful about it is you can get a bit delusional and grandiose which makes it easier to take action without overthinking.

You do not need fixing. You already have innate spiritual value that if you were to get out of your own way, you would realize your true potential. This is a continuation of the last thread. I am not denying there are different types of people, different expressions of people with their own quirks, own ways of being. You are entangling limiting beliefs / lies about your value with your uniqueness as what you label as "neurodivergent." Have you ever considered maybe as a unique creation of god you are meant to be different and there is joy and uniqueness in your own strengths and weaknesses instead of trying to conform to what you think is right or "fixed"?