Lyubov

Where you’re located plays a big role in the most effective way go take to find a girlfriend or get laid. The culture, the climate, what people value and what is seen as an asset. Let’s make a list of cities and what they value. I’ll start us off. Let’s make a list and compare and see how this affects what you choose to shape your life when it comes to this domain of life. Ok I’ll start. Rio de Janerio, Brazil - Probably one of the most looksmaxxed places you could go as a guy. Being physically fit and looking amazing with your shirt off is almost crucial here if you want the best looking women off the beach. You can go to some areas where there are more white Brazilians and try to pick up women at more traditional clubs but they can get pricey and there are dudes everywhere trying to get laid here because the women of this city have a reputation for giving sex quickly. You need to really cultivate an extroverted lifestyle here to pull the top girls. This is not an intellectual city. Being able to dance and go with the flow and enjoy a long night out is important in this city. Online dating is completely flooded, instagram too. Moscow, Russia - You have to be literally fucking retarded if you aren’t able to pull as a mediocre white guy from the USA or UK here. The most beautiful women on earth and you will notice the sheer volume. Girls here in general need more trust building. They do not respond well to quick moves for kissing and dirty remarks. That’s a rule of thumb, obviously they’re freaks in the bedroom but they are usually very protective of their image and I found they are very scared of being labeled as a slur. This is a great place for introverts. Intellectualism is rewarded. You can be kinda fat but if you dress well and have style you can pull a supermodel still. Money talks here too but can attract the wrong girl. Add cities and discuss.

Yeah I mean being ugly you def do get ignored more. I think hate is a strong word for this.

I found that Rio is very competitive and slants heavily towards a certain look and type of person. I also think the way the socializing works there and lifestyle makes it so hot girls are completely overwhelmed by horny guys. It’s not a bad city for hooking up. I also fucked a couple incredibly hot woman there, I still reminisce about one of them to this day… but the city and way dating works there has a lot of problems. Girls are flooded with horny dudes, athletic look and extroversion is crucial for building volume and it’s both dangerous and expensive. But the city is easily the most beautiful I been to and I love the beach lifestyle

Apparently he’s tweeting now that he “may have taken the anti aging stuff too far.” I’m paraphrasing but it’s basically what he said. Bro is finally making some sense.

My plans have changed but yeah I was emigrating to Russia until 2022, I had plans to buy a flat in Moscow and everything, had the cash, had spent 3 years there getting ready to be based out of there, was going to buy summer 2022…. Invasion happened in Feb 2022 so I pulled out. I’ve since been traveling the last 4 years doing digital nomad life since I work online. Two were spent in Brazil. I’ve gotten married in this time. I’m based out of South East Asia now.

Sounds like an amazing client to be honest, pays for canceled lessons and increases pay without having to negotiate. I tutor as well and that sounds like a dream…. But you need to learn to enforce boundaries. He is kinda flirting with you. Don’t send photos to him, put a wall up if he advances on you. Keep it professional and be strict about it.

Colombia is top tier for women, nothing useless going there for sex. It is a night and day experience going from a shitty city to a good one. But I will say going to Colombia has a lot of other problems which can make the trade of going there come with more issues. Moving is not excessive at all for getting high caliber women. If you can’t pull back home obviously you won’t pull a super model where you go but it def will give you a much better deal. London is kinda shit. It’s expensive and has gotten dangerous. Western English speaking countries in general are not good unless you have an incredible lifestyle, income and look. They’re just very inefficient places for normal guys and you’ll have to settle for less beauty and choices. I haven’t been to Poland but I heard it’s super overrun now as a spot. All the Euro puas started flooding it precovid and apparently now from what I heard the girls there react far less warmly than they used to. I’m sure it’s still miles better than the USA or UK though.

Medellin Colombia. I think this place has easily the most beautiful women in South America and they are pretty keen on white gringos. Easy flights have completely overran the place. A lot of shady shit tourists too but the worst part is the crime, this is a very dangerous city. Lots of disingenuous women as well. I’d say you have to exercise a tremendous amount of caution wherever you go here and with whoever you meet.

Inner game all the way.

I’m 35 so I’m already quite aware of aging and how it’s affected me, which it definitely has with how I’m noticed when I go out, in fact a lot of what I wrote here has been 15 years of experience and deep contemplation and a lot of insight into what I actually experienced during my pua journey vs the story I laid over it (survivorship bias) I agree with you that you should be cultivating a confidence that is so thick and blind to what others think that you are always delighted with yourself and optimistic of what’s to come. I don’t disagree here. It’s very empowering to go from a very mediocre depressed guy who doesn’t pull to pick up speeches which say you’re already hot and all you need is game to pull a high caliber woman. That was really empowering for me to take action and do the whole game thing ages ago and being delusional like this actually sets into motion a lot of internal changes. The funny thing is in hindsight while that played a role in getting me out, it wasn’t my game which got me laid but my swag and authentic self and my general foundation (white, tall, foreign guy, wealthy lifestyle) and confidence which was only mirrored back to me when women looked at me and made eyes with me, which they weren’t evaluating my game, they were checking me out seeing if I’m in their fuckzone or not, like I said women need on my 15 minutes of chatting and being around you to know if you’re in their fuckzone or not. Women evaluate you based on a combination of your looks, style, swag, height, quick personality traits, how authentic you appear and how in tune you are with their subcommunications.

You can cherry pick lots of social interactions and basically set yourself up to look amazing at anything when you’re designing a course. Owen infield is just normal nightlife socializing for an average attuned guy that hasn’t fallen into mediocrity and can occasionally pull. I’m not saying he hasn’t had some good sets. I’m saying that your school of thought is dated and inefficient. Even Owen pivoted hard over to mansion game and lifestyle at least what he was churning out in 2018/19 when IG was really becoming a new norm. You need to be maximizing everything especially what’s valued most where you’re located, different places value different things, doing everything to get your self esteem strong and then make yourself look amazing. It’s a funny term but I actually do like it, if you wanna ascend and be that guy that actually has eyes made at him you need to level up your looks and swag which directly affects your confidence and aura. That or stick to game and enjoy approaching.

I didn’t mention clavicular and I don’t think my school of thought is adjacent enough to him to illicit his name as if they are the same or similar to what I’m saying. As if this guy is the name you call upon jsut because someone mentions that your raw looks is one part of building up flow. But even he pulls a lot and I’m sure he pulls some pretty good looking girls his age. You don’t need your little game when you have the momentum of your foundation behind you. Game is largely a coping strategy for guys who fall into mediocrity. I can’t attest to Owen’s results, I’ve never went out with him and saw only one person claimed to be his girlfriend so idk if it’s entirely true but she looked alright, but from what I heard here he doesn’t actually get the insane results with women as much as you would think he does. I’m talking like effortless baddies and the top picks, high caliber women, picked up with game. He was marketing a mansion parties approach the last time I saw a video by him which ofc you’re going to have the most swag and look the most comfortable in your own home. You’d have to have some serious blocks in your social skills to not pull a girl from a party you threw at your own mansion. it’s difficult to quantify everything, I suppose my stance is loosely in not putting much weight into game as I am your looks your swag and aura and status and lifestyle and self esteem. Do you FEEL attractive? Do you notice women make eyes with you and do an irl right swipe on you when you’re in their vicinity? If not then those girls you approach and waste your energy on will be a no 95% of the time. And the guys getting them don’t need to approach they are basically invited over through body language.

I’m leading with flow (my words) which isn’t just some “yeah dude it’s all in the mind thing.” Flow is earned. It takes into account hard truths and really deeply observing the field. I account for determinism in my perspective because I’ve been around long enough and been with enough women to go full circle and see what ways I’ve deluded myself but also not given myself enough credit. You need to be giving your looks and aura and swag and self esteem the most weight, even over your “game.” Looking good and instantly having women show a twinkle in their eye for you will build momentum for pulling 100x more than any game or any sort of approaching. Do you want to pull the best women in a nigh club and the best looking girls Instagram apart from ones with followers in the tens to hundreds of thousands? You think these girls chase you cause of your game? Bro they chase you cause they aren’t idiots and see that you are a valuable asset in their life and which your looks and aura and swag heavily convey. Peacocks grow feathers for a reason and women are very quick to identify who they wanna fuck. The “game” part is salt on food, it’s basically sprinkled on, you aren’t doing anything to get them to chase you, you’re getting out of your own way from fucking it up and chasing them. Getting girl to chase = you stay in flow and stop chasing them.

When I said certain guys don't need to approach I didn't mean to say leaving it entirely up to chance or accident. I distinguish between "approaching" (PUA vocab) and what attuned attractive and in flow guys do which is just... socialize, they have a vibe to them. it's really plain as day when you can see a guy "approach" vs just being a chill guy going with the flow which may include starting a conversation sometimes or saying the first word, it may even be a bit direct, but there is a difference between this and "approaching." Guys who are practicing PUA approach. Guys who have game do not approach, they flow. But none of that is by accident. It is a subtler skill. You should be able to tell in 15 minutes just by sharing space with a girl (not even saying much of anything) if you are in the fuckzone or not. It's usually plain as day once you can read body language, eye contact, etc. It can be a bit more ambiguous and a bit harder with some girls but tbh it rarely is, a lot of guys just don't realize how average they are so they have to drill a bunch of "approaches" and they get a ton of NOs from girls that do not see them in their league. You rarely see a tard pull some unbelievable babe. Flukes are exceptionally uncommon (ONS of them do sometimes happen when alcohol / drugs are involved). There is unseen momentum where most guys have a hidden batting average they gotta be honest with themselves about and reflect on what's keeping them from ascending.

Yeah I agree and it’s why in general approaching in and of itself is inherently needy. With swiping online both of you went right so it diminishes the dynamic of you (the man) chasing but it’s also the most saturated place. IG dms have a more needy vibe equivalent to approaching but to make it work you have to have a great profile and look and be writing the right girls. I don’t like the word approach cause it usually has a connotation of force to it. Cold approach is alright and if you have thick skin and are in a decent place you can sometimes jsut weather all the NOs and get a date, but a lot of the good places are flooded with tards so girls sorta have their senses about them and are a lot less receptive. You’re deliberately stopping her. You’re striving to make things work. To be honest if you are great at reading body language and sub communication really grounded and feel good about yourself, you don’t really even need to approach. All the best guys who I’ve seen pull effortlessly in night game don’t “approach.” They flow. They have a great look and clearly are physically attractive and carry themselves like they have shit going for them. You just stay in flow and you sorta get on the same wave length as women where you pick up on their queue they drop which alert you to if they’re interested or not. Eye contact, the way they look at you. You can literally look at a girl and know by approximately 80% if you are a right swipe for her irl. If you aren’t getting these signals, I’m sorry it means you need to work on your look and how attractive you are at first glance. There are ways of throwing out signals back and testing the water This is why a lot of guys on the spectrum or guys with a bad look go though so much crap approaching. They aren’t able to read queues, have poor self esteem and don’t have an attractive vibe or swag to them, so it turns into this sorta brute force thing where you have to grind through cold approaches with forced small talk and poor results with a lot of girls not wanting to exchange numbers before you find a yes. Sometimes a very subtle hi and the most lightest small talk can instantly clue you in where you stand with her. It’s why direct approach is faulty and less refined than guys who know how to indirectly start a conversation or read body language or drop signals.

So they are planning to mobilize… got it

AI is so crap at creating anything. It fundamentally lacks so many shades and layers of human intelligence. It does do some things really well though. And I am impressed at how good it is at just yapping with and having someone to bounce things off of. But it’s absolute shit at creating and it can barely do simple tasks from my job. It speeds up just a few things. It ain’t replacing anyone.

The thing is life being wonderful is largely a perspective. You can be incredibly happy with very few things and very miserable with a lot of things. The good life is in a funny way a lot closer than any of use realize because we already have what we secretly are looking for in all of our pursuits. So I can say when I’m creating clouds from time to time which I do, life is shady even with all the things I have which many people would like to have. Let the sun shine through.

If I had to pick one for pure pulling, getting laid, nightgame is king and there is nothing better. Online is second if you have the right profile and are able to sift through it to find the horny girls who wanna fuck on the first date (trickier and can get pricy spending cash on dating apps)

Yeah Brazil is real good. I just didn't click with the girls when there. I think maybe it is my general mentality and preferences, I'm very conversation heavy and neurodivergent and I seem to understand Russian women better, their cadence, what they value, their vibe, etc. I can see a twinkle in their eye when they see me, my look fits in Europe. I know they love gringos in Brazil but I think the foreigner card there doesn't go as far for some guys even if you are white as hell, being a sorta wealthy white guy with no swag can signal that you are an easy target for robbery, or there are just different aspects of the foreigner card you play up in Brazil vs Russia. For example just being a traveling normie white guy with a university education in Russia will look sophisticated in and of itself. In Brazil they seem to really like when you conform to their social cues and signals. Like their dancing, having a muscular body type for the beach, tan skin, no body hair, lots of tattoos, look like you play sports/surf, etc. They really like a go with the flow vibe in brail and being able to match their pace and way of flirting, they like pretty boys wit ha certain look. They kiss super quick in Brazil and I got the sense the women there want you to be able to move quick and have a type of swag to you. You don't need as much swag in Russia (it is def appreciated and helps with certain girls) but a strong masculine frame who has a plan and sophistication go further. I'd say the vibe of SA vs Eastern Europe is very different in style. It just didn't click for me in SA where I think a more conventionally athletic, extroverted, dancing sorta guy who fits in with the latin charm and essence of the romance languages. I was able to pull in brazil but it felt uncomfortable for me and I just didn't enjoy it or find it as easy as a lot of other guys and stories I read about Brazil where they make it sound like the easiest place to get laid. I knew guys there who pulled too but they were in a slower pace where they had a long term girlfriend or wife who seemed real chill. There are some real players there who I'm sure pound a ton of hot girls right off the beach but I would describe them as some of the most extroverted guys ever with a great athletic look. Most of the most beautiful women as well, at least in Rio de Janeiro, are working girls. I'm talking like half the babes on tinder where they have decent pics and look hot as f, they basically will offer to sell you sex. The girls who weren't selling it and real hot were much harder to crack due to language barrier. Brazil is also a mixed race society so depending on if the girl is black, white, mixed also changes things a bit too. White Brazilians are probably the closest and most similar type that a white guy fro ma western country would find the easiest to date long term, but even they can be kinda different too.

This is why you’re always making threads in here where you’re clearly feeling bad about something. Your beliefs are poisoning you.

Where are you located? Some locations are more sustainable than others. Thing is a lot of good daygame places are overrun now. I’d say probably almost all good places are overrun. So you need to find your way of standing out where you teach. A lot of the old pick up guys leaned heavily on their foreigner points in places that hadn’t been overrun yet. Every dope has gone to Colombia, Florida, Brazil, Argentina, Poland, Ukraine and Spain to meet girls and do pick up there. Even places that there get less foreigners like Russia have a ton of local guys emulating western pick up trying to teach it or capitalize on a pick up lifestyle. So you have to genuinely be good at game and able to teach it. It’s why a lot of men’s self improvement has leaned into lifestyle and gym money maxing stuff. It’s what’s trendy. So you gotta find your way of standing out as a coach now.

I was gonna basically say what Leo said. Day game depends a lot on the place. There are a lot of places that you can organically go out and if you are open to the experience and in your flow you will meet a ton of people and girls. Just going to a mall where people are shopping or whatever is obviously a waste of energy and inherently needy. Places that are shit for: business areas, malls, cities during certain times of day, buses/metros. Good: beaches, walking streets when it’s warm and sunny, bar districts. Obviously you gotta get a read on each place. Some examples of great cities for day game Moscow in summer when people are out for walks in almost every part of the center, this is shooting fish in a barrel but language barrier is also a thing, a lot of tards with zero game approach the girls here so they sometimes have their guard up cause a weirdo approached them before you. Rio de Janeiro along the beach in Zona Sul Ipanema or Copacabana, super easy to meet people if you fit in with Carioca or look good, very looks oriented here, they have a specific beach look they all aspire to, being very fit helps here and looking like a surfer or playboy helps a ton

Your post is everywhere, disorienting. I’m not even entirely sure what point you’re trying to make. It’s clear to me you think something is unfair though. You throw in the idea of being a victim but what are you the victim of? What I read is you seem hurt about this break up and see dating is unfair.

First off you need to own it. So say to yourself "I am choosing to _____ (sabotage myself)." Don't frame yourself as a victim like all of this is being force onto you, you're choosing this. Let's establish that. You are creating this. Ok, now this is where we can let our shoulders down and take a deep breathe. You don't need to beat yourself up. You have nothing to prove. Just ask with curiosity and care, like you're asking a friend you love and care about "why am I choosing to sabotage myself?" "what do I believe about myself here?" "why am I doing this?" To answer your questions. You break free by becoming aware of your true value and worth that is inherent, and aligning with what you know is right for you. It's happening to you because you are choosing to do it (own it) but there is a secret benefit to it you don't wish to admit to yourself because you wouldn't be able to defend the self sabotage if you didn't frame it as something out of your control or something you're confused about. Probably a beleif about your self worth, believing you aren't worthy of success, believing you aren't enough, scared to step into the unkown away from the comfort of the old painful pattern you can't admit to yourself you choose or else he whole thing becomes indefensible with emotional logic. Feeling bitter is a feeling you create through a belief, so I would drop the feeling word and replace it with what you think or believe. Why do you believe you need to create a bad feeling you label bitter when you think about women? What do you believe about women? Do you believe a woman has wronged you? What do you not accept about the world which women are a part of? Do you believe you are good enough to be in a relationship with a woman?