Lyubov

yeah she is really hot. would be downright dishonest to not make a move on her if one was single.

Is this just a game of self deception with one or both parties just keeping their foot in the door of the other as a potential option for sex/dating?

gonna depend on woman to woman. obviously if safe sex is practiced physically it poses little cause for concern. emotionally it's another story. is it being used to escape feeling something negative or looking for love which might be lacking in the self love department? it can be used as an escape like this. I think plenty of women have casual sex which is fine for them though.

The universe is never out to get anyone or punish anyone

It’s an amazing tool for self actualizing and consciousness work that won’t bend reality as much as other psychedelics but can still raise consciousness and allow for a strong sense of unconditional love to address emotional problems and traumas. Every tool psychedelics toolbox has a different use.

Look into tantra?

Try it out and see if it is of any benefit for you and if not forget about it. It’s just a helpful way for me to manage sexual energies that arise. I don’t approach every single woman I find attractive.

very few people want to go to the clubs anyway sucks but they wont be pulling big crowds even if they are allowed open

I love this. I remember reading this book a while ago and it's basically the best advice I got from it. Whenever I see a beautiful woman and start to desire her instead of it turning to frustration that I can't have sex and fulfill every sexual desire that arises at the very moment they arise I transform it into creative energy like an alchemist. Works wonders.

isn't it almost always going to be the guy cause men are expected to move things forward? I think women dread rejection more than men do. I had a female friend that liked me and she sort of just hinted at it subtly by making things kinda easy for something to happen and not much more than that. I've had many female friends before but I've been doing some self reflection and wondering if there is an element of self deception to some of these friendships. I don't think characterizing an entire relationship based off just one factor of attraction that may be part of it is a good idea but it seems like when denied it becomes a sort of shadow of the relationship.

I feel sort of low energy when it comes time to approach, like getting started on a boring homework assignment and a little nervous of it going nowhere and having wasted my emotional energy. I think it's one of those things you gotta give yourself a little push sometimes to get out of this place.

In my hypothetical I was assuming that there were no barriers for both partners that causes zero attraction between the two.

I'm hesitant of that 70% to 20% data. I've seen it mainly circulated around red pill communities. Also I've also heard speculation that Tinder actually has far less active female users vs male users. That will make it much more problematic for men. The final thing that I think makes online dating difficult for most men is that these apps are set up specifically for monetization purposes and they are surely used more by men. This means you have to shell out cash to get matches. I remember the Tinder free experience used to yield quite a few matches. Now it it barely gives any after setting up an account and you are required to regularly buy perks to get a more normal experience with the app. The only way to get a decent flow of matches with the possibility of one leading to a meeting in person requires spending regularly on the app for just about every man on it. Even top guys with good photos that used to get a ton of matches are saying they aren't getting many without paying (read this as well).

It will take a little more than a self-inquiry technique to see an end come to the body Don't worry, you aren't going to die in the conventional sense from this. Just relax into it more and more. No need to force it. I get fear pop up when this happens too. Just now a little before reading this I woke up from a nape and started to melt into nothingness while fully grounded in the body. It is actually an amazing experience to have both the polarities of nothing and something present and be situated right in the middle. very peaceful.

So I am feeling sad right now. Basically a friend of mine who lives far away is going to be moving soon and has some plans to be very active, starting a new job, etc and they also have met someone as well. We have been talking every day for the last 8 months and keeping each other company during COVID and have both been a big support to each other during these times. Thing is when they start branching out and doing things they tend to talk less and it just makes me feel sad cause I live in a new town and have no friends here to see in person so all I can do is chat with my friends who live in different places. Feels like I'm just talking with them on their terms and also it makes me feel a little sad cause I have a small crush on them as well and I want to be receiving as much attention back as I am giving so I want to look elsewhere for socialization. Anyways I was feeling a little sad and jealous and realized that maybe I shouldn't rely so much on this person for socializing so I stopped writing them as much. It made things awkward and they confronted me about it asking if they offended me and I told them that I just feel sad when they don't write me as much cause they are living their life and I don't want to be that annoying needy friend so I wanted to put some space between us. This seemed to really hurt her feelings though and she seems quite mad at me. I really don't know what to do. Just feel sad about the situation cause I didn't want to tell them but also I don't like holding things in and they asked me what's up so I prefer to be honest. I'm not mad at this person for living their life and doing their own thing but we are quite close friends and I can tell it really hurt her feelings when I told her this but at the same time I just feel sad when talking to them when they are doing their own thing cause I feel lonely and know I should be branching out more. She was saying something about how it's a bad idea to do this to such an old friend and they were quite angry I could tell. They now seem mad at me but I don't feel like I did anything wrong or should feel bad about my feelings. I told them I was sorry and I didn't do it to hurt them and didn't want them to feel guilty or bad for doing their own thing but they just seemed argumentative and not about talking out the emotions. idk what to do about this I don't think I did anything wrong but at the same time I feel bad about the situation.

yeah it just feels like they now are somehow playing some sort of game. like I'm trying to be as transparent with what I'm writing here and avoid my own self bias for the best possible advice. I came clean to them. I owned up to the fact that I could of been more straight forward with them about how I felt when I originally wanted some space and not had to have them pry for more information. I took responsibility for that and spoke crystal clear to them. They live in another country so I don't want to ask them for a long distance relationship like this. I'm just being realistic here. I feel like now something is being held back by them and it doesn't explain to me why they got so hurt (I think largely to do with their own past) and why they want to act like it didn't happen now. But is is all connected and I feel mostly unacknowledged by them.

@Preety_India @flowboy

Update: So this person reached out to me the other day and asked me if I wanted to be friends again and talk daily again. We have been talking a little and they seem closed off. I've been bringing up our falling out and how angry they got. They are acting like it never happened and like they want to just return to what it was like before it happened. It doesn't feel good to me. It feels like they themselves aren't being honest about something and here I am the one who had them blow up and get all angry at me because I quietly wanted to distance myself from them after developing a huge crush on them. They never have acknowledged how I felt and left my last message to them telling them how I truly felt on read. They then message me a couple months later asking to be friends and talk again... I really don't know what the deal is and I feel a little hurt... I don't know if I should come out and straight up ask them how they feel about me and why they are acting like none of it every happened. Like this is the reaction I was originally expecting to get when I originally wanted some space instead of them blowing up and seeming super hurt. I feel just confused more-so about them and wondering how they feel and their motives for writing me again out of the blue after they got so mad and seemed perfectly fine never talking again. Just feels off considering they are acting like nothing happened after I told them how I felt about them and them getting super angry at me for holding back about what was going on... Now it feels like they are being dishonest or holding back or idk trying to use me in some way to cope with their own incongruences about their own emotions... Does any of this make sense? Does anyone understand what I'm saying? I almost feel subtly gaslighted by them.

he hasn't said too much of substance critiquing Leo. I'm with him though on his more conservative integrative approach but aside from that he doesn't really say much else.

At first I thought I was going to read about some sort of sugar daddy / baby situation but it doesn’t even sound like that ? It’s a little weird and a pretty big age gap considering she’s a teen still.

I think it has a lot to do with a component of fear. As consciousness expands it can be scary to integrate everything so one retreats to something that feels solid or stable like an old popular ideology.

what's your point? I don't know too many dads who are in conflict with their wives over what their kids should wear or how the kitchen should be redecorated.

Exactly. It is no secret. No one here will say men have it easier in what I would label or define as the "attraction phase." That sort of limbo period where you first meet a person and start defining the relationship and mutual attraction begins to form. Women are vastly more powerful in this area. It's sort of their super power. The cards are in their favor greatly during this phase if you wanna call it like that. Some men are more powerful than others during this phase and it comes down to inner work, masculine/feminine communication, pick up skills, statues, call it whatever but for the most part the woman usually has the advantage. Men tend to have long term power. If women's strength is tactics men's strength is strategy. Men grow in value over the long term and can play the field much longer than women can. How often do you see a 35 yo woman with a 20 yo man? I take a sort of game theory approach to it which I don't think is a good way of seeing the entire domain of romantic relationships but it is useful for describing certain aspects of it. Overall I think both are equal but more like a ying yang symbol equal rather than being perfectly balanced in every aspect.

you ever drank ayahuasca o_O?