Lyubov

Life purpose and self esteem / self love is incredibly important when it comes to becoming as charismatic and desirable (or as close to) as Russell Brand. You can tell he loves what he does in this world and is very much accepting of himself. He is on a mission. He genuinely relishes in giving through his charisma and is detached in the most healthy sense. You can see how embodied it is. No amount of technical practice will lead to this. This is something that will only come with great inner changes and will take a lot of work if one's foundation is heavily off.

Like Leo said, don't overthink it. Girls love sex and many are open to exciting sexual experiences with men if given an opportunity that feels right. A synergy of being fun, chill, safe, manly, etc. Use any other synonyms you like. That's about it.

of course. if you dose incredibly high and are holding back a ton of repressed anger and emotional trauma it absolutely can result in a sort of dissociation experience where the body just starts doing insane shit and you are tripping so deep you aren't in control of any of it. It happens all the time. How do people not know this before partaking in these substances? There was an article where this one college student took a ton of shrooms and ended up wandering into a house on campus and beating up a professor. They routinely have to hold people down at Ayahuasca retreats too. This is not talked about enough when it comes to these substances.

Mass approaching on the street is also a waste of time for a lot of guys with how it's just taught to grind through it. Everyone has a different path and learns differently. Some guys have benefited from it greatly and have gotten laid and met their girlfriends this way, others seem to get on a carousel of despair and then have to spend time unlearning all the dumb PUA theory to then do the real inner work that is keeping them from being attractive and ready for a relationship. I can't say I'm for or against it. If someone coming from a place of zero experience and emotional insecurity were to ask me if they should do the whole mass approaching thing, I would tell them they are better off finding a therapist, learning self love and learning body based emotional mastery techniques. Also to go out more and try to make new friends and put themselves out there in social situations where there are women. It can be challenging to do this so just resorting to the whole street approaching thing can be an ok first step but the whole "self improvement / grinding" vibe has never been my thing. Getting to a point where it's just seamless from a natural conversation on the street/bar to a date didn't start happening for me until I did the inner work. It was a terrible grind before this and I learned little.

So you are posting his videos and starting discussions about dating and picking up women here because you want to learn about financial freedom? It just sounds a little odd from my point of view and I’m not saying this to devalue you or even the benefits you may have gotten from listening to him. I’m glad you have found some help through him with supplements. Just a lot of the posts you make here recently seem sort of discombobulated and really overly analytical and too cognitive, for what in my opinion, often requires less of these long two hour theory spills this guy makes and something more holistic, inwardly deeper and in person.

I don’t want to sound insensitive and judgmental. This is pretty dark though and if this did indeed happen I think therapy with a compassionate and trained professional is the best course at this stage. Socializing is triggering enough as it is even for stable and functional people who are trying to improve in this domain. If one has emotional problems then going out isn’t going to address the root issues that need to be worked on.

I’m not triggered. I’m actually doing great in this domain in life. I feel I’m at the point where I could develop a program if it was my LP and be teaching this stuff along side him and the rest of the PUAs on YouTube. I’m not saying he isn’t a bad person or doesn’t make some good points. I just think you are shoehorning yourself by focusing on his theory so much when there is better and more holistic stuff out there. I’m assuming you want to get better with women right? I don’t think watching lots of his videos and filling your mind with more of his useless theory is the best way of doing this for you given some of the stuff you have been saying here lately. Why do you think diving in and listening to some deep analysis by him is helping you improve with women?

I don’t get your obsession with this guy. His over analyzing and these long videos he makes with his cheap camera are low key a bit creepy. Ok, so you are trying to get better with women and want to find an outside source to bring you some form of understanding so you have a reference point to progress from… fair enough. He says some pretty disgusting things about autism and people on the spectrum in the video description. He’s not 100% off but he’s wrong. Guys on the spectrum can do well with women if they work on themselves and learn emotional mastery. What’s this presumptuous shit about him blankety saying women being repulsed by autism spectrum. You need better theory sources tbh.

I like having different friends for different experiences. I would say that it really comes down to avoiding toxic people and just setting boundaries and cutting them off when you have to. Don’t waste your time hanging out with toxic people. Aside from that I’ve also felt sorta jaded with friends that were depressed and broke all the time. Other than that I’m pretty open to different kinds of people from all walks of life.

For any of you in a long term relationship, especially the guys, how does your partner's sexual past make you feel? I find myself feeling a little jealous sometimes about my partner's past but also curious. I'm quite aware of the beliefs behind it so I'm of course careful not to be judgmental. I'm aware that it stings something inside of me and is a pointer for growth and more self understanding, love and an expansion of my belief system. "You can't have your cake and eat it" You can't have your woman one way and also expect her to be another way when they contradict. It feels like a lie to chase this and wouldn't be right. For instance I am NOT into this sort of "good, conservative, boring girl" type. They are just so boring to me and I never feel any spark with them. I've always fallen hard for club chicks. They are so much fun and I always feel I have the best kind of sex with such women, filled with passion and openness to explore. But at the same time I have to accept the fact I've probably not been the first guy to have this fun with her. I'm hesitant to ask my partner how many other guys they have been with cause the answer may be harder for me to stomach than I realize Have any of you ever felt the same? How do you feel about your partner's sexual past? Does it bother you in any way and for any reason?

Situations like this can be tricky and yeah, logistics sometimes won't work out in your favor. Sometimes you gotta just let go and realize you aren't in complete control, just recognize everything right you did and be open to ways you can grow better. Sounds like you are doing that which is great. One time I made out with a girl on a date and I was near certain she would come back with me to my place. We had amazing sexual chemistry. From my POV at the time, If I lead any harder it would of come off pushy. The thing is she worked the next morning at 10am and she was embarrassed her roommate would hear her come back late. I never saw her again because after that I was super thirsty via text to get her out again in a similar situation. Another time I met a girl at a bar with her coworker. She was having a night out with another girl from work. We went to a club (all three of us) and I got her alone and we made out a bunch. She ended up leaving her friend alone at the club and went back to my place to fuck. Girls are weird like that. There is an element of randomness to it you gotta accept, just do your best and feel your best and lead like a man. I'm sure you have it more developed than you realize. It's your nature. It's just being obstructed sometimes by anxiety and limiting beliefs. I would read "The Way of the Superior Man" a book by David Deida. This can help you get in touch with this energy and express it in a healthy way. Having fun when you go out and being present helps a lot as well, without setting too many expectations for yourself when you go out. Sounds like this was a good learning experience for you. You're right for not being too invested in this number as well. I wouldn't discount it as entirely worthless though. Those numbers can be pennies from heaven and gain value when they sit around. I got one of those numbers out many months after making out with her and slept with her that weekend. Don't throw it away. Just keep it in your phone and send some memes to it occasionally and make some light chit chat she doesn't have to invest in. You may get her out on a date in the future. Invite her for a drink sometime

This forum isn't toxic. I personally wouldn't call it that. A lot of people here sometimes thinks they are right about everything and can be presumptuous or overly outspoken which can be kinda annoying. I'm guilty sometimes of this as well. Don't take what people say about you or your issue here too seriously, it's just for getting ideas. Keep it in check and it can be very helpful, especially for recommendations on books and programs.

Why do you think you didn’t get her back to your place? What was going through your mind when you felt stuff start to go “wrong?” Was there a point toward the end of the night where you felt confused? How was the vibe/flow? Did you ask her to come back? What do you believe about yourself because you didn’t sleep with her? I wasn’t there so it’s hard to actually comment on anything specific about what vibe or energy you are giving off. I can draw on experiences when it went well for me in this situation and when it didn’t. When it didn’t I would say I was very much in my head and actually on the more meek side, not leading firmly enough, not aligned with the masculine core. I was confused because on one hand I felt like I didn’t know what to do and thus came off less like a leader, and on the other hand I was very much in my head thinking about what I need to go. Leo is right here that you need to stick with her through the night and into the morning sometimes as well. Sometimes if the music is really good and depending on the vibe/type of the club (more table heavy clubs are glorified cattle markets so most people there aren’t there to dance or for the dj) she may want to stay if she is having a ton of fun dancing to the music if it’s a good “disco style” club with a popular/famous dj. You can usually just seamlessly suggest and lead her back of your place when you leave the club or outside. You need to lead. She is going to want to feel that you are leading things and masculine enough to do so in a way that is somewhat subtle. Some girls it may feel more obvious than others but the goal is to always be on the more subtle side of things. She may sometimes push back a bit if you are leading in a brutish way and need to dial it back down to find a nice balance between you and her. She will also push back if you are leading very weakly or if the interaction has lacked passion which it sounds like yours didn’t if you were making out with he. When there is the right balance between you and the woman she will usually just follow your lead back to your place after suggesting it just ordering a taxi and her following you into it.. Also keep it subtle. Don’t say “let’s have sex” or anything like that. Cuddle, have some tea, after party, whatever, but your goal is to work towards being more subtle while giving off masculine vibes and leadership.

I would say the amount of time will vary depending on the person, but the most heavy lifting will be the emotional work and self acceptance. Some guys improve quickly when they commit to getting better with women while others will spend several years going in circle. I would be open to it at the pace it has to for you. Chances are if you have problem with women you have a deeper problem that goes beyond more practical social skills and understanding of social situations. You gotta go deeper if you actually wanna make meaningful and long lasting changes to the surface.

You can buy a girl a drink at a club or a coffee at a cafe. You don’t have to spend big cash or anything and don’t expect anything back for it. If it’s seamless and moves things along it’s fine. I’m not about spending a lot of cash on the first date. If there is a vibe though, a drink or two can really set the mood and the cool girls will sometimes even buy you a drink back.

This is why I don’t even bother to go to sleep after coming back from a rave or techno party. Just nonstop ringing in a silent room and it’s impossible to sleep. It’s made worse if you are sleeping then with someone who prefers complete silence when going to sleep. I’ve found playing a bit of white noise rain sounds mostly solves this but the other person may not like that. I honestly just don’t sleep on nights I go out, but I only go out about one every other week.

You plan to walk around the nightclub with earplugs in? it's strange my friend....

Could you go into more detail on the first? Do you have any specific stories or examples that you noted this recently being an issue? I ask because sometimes guys on the spectrum will over criticize themselves and think they stand out as socially odd way more than they do. These beliefs sort of start a round about of them then being kinda odd when if they were to not focus on it and just focus on having fun and relaxing in social settings they would come off totally fine.

I'm not asking about whether or not you would change it, are judging it, your gender war preferences, etc, but rather your sort of meta thoughts on it? Has it opened your mind some? What has sort of shocked you? Has any of it helped you? Have you gained a more holistic view? I ask this because this subforum is still heavily geared towards advice for men about the initial stage of meeting and attracting women, having sex and sort of fundamental concepts of masculine/feminine polarity to help them find a girlfriend/sex. I recently had a conversation about male dating advice and techniques with my girlfriend and she was completely shocked and blown away. Felt like I was exposing the secrets to fight club It was completely shocking to her and it all started when told her how I was given support by one of my friends when I was having some problems in a relationship. Basically telling me not to take it too seriously and that there are other fish in the sea. This mortified her. Once she let down her guard a bit (I purposefully avoided a gender war) she was super open minded but still shocked and I could tell I expanded her world view quite a bit. She said she was so interested in all the stuff I was telling her, basically a lot of the mindsets and stuff talked about here and given to guys that are having problems finding a date or getting into a mindset where they feel they can get a girlfriend and not fall into worshiping and feeling one single girl is their only opportunity for love. What have been your thoughts and has it helped you understand men better?

what cues do you specifically feel you struggle reading? What specific situations do you feel you do poorly in?

Not true at all, but fair enough if you aren't into living abroad. Definitely not lol. But I do agree that you gotta jump through higher hoops to basically get the same quality girl in the US that you'd get with half the amount of effort in other countries. My advice doesn't apply to established guys in Vegas or NYC with a hundred grand large in the bank. I'm perfectly happy having what they got on five figures abroad while they are doing it at six at home thinking they got it the best Same shit. US is honestly kinda crap for dating for the guys here who aren't able to get laid. They would benefit from traveling and going abroad to other countries. It would remove them from their comfort zone and they would be rewarded immensely for it. All their sucker friends back home will be working their shit 9-5 and posting about learning pick up after while those smart enough to go abroad will actually rack up a ton of beautiful girls and life experience and drop this US superiority complex in the process.

I’m looking for books that would be helpful for a man to improve in the bedroom both physically and emotionally/mentally. Technique wise is fine but I’m looking for stuff that goes deeper than that as well. Sometimes I don’t feel passionate enough, sometimes sex is tricky and my girl feels this and the sex sort of suffers, other times it’s incredible and a path to spiritual awakening. So yeah, looking for books of all kinds on how a man can improve at sex and become a sex god!

I've lived in NYC and been to LA several times. They are good, but have their downsides as well. I will hold back my more presumptuous assumptions on cities I haven't been to in the US but I don't need to drink the whole pot of soup to know what it taste like. You can stir it and sample a few spoonfuls of it to get an idea of what it's like. From my experience there are far better countries/cities in Europe and South America with a way higher ratio of beautiful women. The cities you listed are good but I still prefer other places and think there are other factors / contexts as well that make my preferred places much better for dating.

It's not possible to be in relationships of any kind without occasionally hurting another person's feelings. Romantic ones take this conundrum to a whole other level the deeper you fall in love and the more you become intertwined. Confronting the fact you can/may/will hurt your woman or break her heart is a very valuable lesson in life. Even if it is totally unintentional and without any sort of malice or resentful intentions. Simply falling out of love with a person or recognizing the barriers you are putting up and how they affect the relationship and hurt the other person's feelings.