Lyubov

This is a thing David Deida says that I think needs more unpacking so to speak so it can be better understood. I wouldn't reduce this. Masculine energy does grow through challenge and I've found in general women tend to grow much more through praise. Men also need praise too. It depends how it's done. Some men may respond much better to a gentle fatherly tone and even praise mixed with a wise challenge. Every guy is different. I don't think ridicule is the way to go. I can't speak for all men but harsh challenging ridicule does not help me. Frankness, honesty, words of integrity, challenge and praise do.

I'm looking for literature that can really help a man grow, inspire, learn about women, dating, relationships, love, building discipline, fostering creativity and creative problem solving, leadership, energy, masculinity, giving, perseverance, etc. I know one can really learn a lot through fiction and this is often something not recognized enough. Literature / stories about men going out to seek treasure, overcoming hardships, growing and discovering love, etc. I'm sort of tired of self help books. Literature men will benefit from reading. To start the list - The Complete Memoirs of Casanova "The Story of My Life" by Giacomo Casanova Please add to the list if you have any fiction books /literature recommendations.

Physical features isn’t the most important part of your photos. Guys who think they look average or are slightly above can still land hot dates online as long as your photos are immaculate. They have to be immaculate though. Your average photos of you lifting weights, drinking a beer and posing in a cheap suit won’t do.

Hmm, thanks for the support I can communicate how I feel and what I want but also the other side about how I don't want to move. Trust the process. I don't have to know everything. It's ok to be confused sometimes. "Some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty now that they’re gone." - Ellis Redding (Portrayed by Morgan Freeman)

I love the feeling of being alive. I thank god. I love the feeling of expanding and becoming more conscious. It's hard to really reduce the feeling to a few sentences. Also, it's hard to write it without sounding like some hippie at a festival on some LSD. I suppose I would say what I love most about life is becoming more conscious and loving but at the same time embodying it and having it play out in my life in practical ways. My relationships becoming more loving, my hobbies more enjoyable, loving more deeply, becoming more inspired to create, appreciate art more, etc, and feeling it through my body as an individual. Basically I just described the feeling of being truly alive. And finally I would say I love how it never gets old, as soon as a summit is reached it isn't actually the summit, cause there is even more to expand. I would say I love this about life.

@Leo Gura I've noticed the forum is down sorta often. Like I will have problems connecting on random days and it won't let me on the website for a couple hours. I'll try to connect from different devices and use a vpn as well and won't connect. Are you aware the forum goes down regularly (about every third day) for a few hours? Dunno if anyone else has this problems. It only happens on this website as well for me.

Thanks... we talked about it some now and some tears came, we feel so deeply connected. I'm just not sure what will happen. I'm not sure I am prepared to move with her either. I don't feel comfortable asking her to quit her job to stay here. Not sure if she can change her contract to stay here. She has suggested it before so I may follow up on that. I'm not taking anything off the table or gonna make any vows to myself like I won't do x or y. Just confused and not sure.

what ingredients should one look for in bar soap that can be used on the body, face and beard? I moved and can't find soap that is as good and as natural where I used to live.

This is a helpful thread. Been dealing with this all evening. I sometimes feel this from my woman. How long has it been going on for you? I've noticed my girl will sort of go back and forth. Sometimes we go through this and I feel us sort of go apart, we are more likely to fight, but we talk so we handle it in a healthy way. Then we will come crashing back together with her being very feminine and me being very masculine. It's not very enjoyable to be around her when she is grumpy and putting up this sort of cold masculine front. Kinda hard to talk it out always as well. I sorta just giver her a little space and slowly ramp up being romantic as much as I can stomach and have the emotional wherewithal for. That seems to get us close again. Talking helps a lot though for sure. Just make sure to know when to bring it up cause sometimes it's not a good time to bring stuff like this up. It's kinda tricky to know how to get your girl out of this especially when you are sort of at your own limit from work and doing other stuff. Finding that balance can be tricky at times and it's ok to not always be perfect at it. You're doing your best like everyone.

I've slept with girls on the first night just because I was interesting/fun, chill, whatever. They had the opportunity for a new and exciting sexual experience and I was there so it happened. To be honest I was far less developed and attractive than I am now. I really don't think it's helpful to compare yourself to other guys like this. Just focus on yourself and enjoying the process. Some of these girls got a boyfriend later at some time and I'm sure some of them didn't give it right away on the first night to them. I did some pretty graphic dry humping in our undies with my gf, some finger stuff over panties, etc. It was very sexual and tantamount to foreplay before sex. It bothers me a little looking back that my gf didn't go all the way with me the weekend we met but the next weekend. She just had laser hair removal so I can understand that being one of the factors. The other being she was afraid I would look at her as a slut and just treat it as a ONS or FWB. The point I'm trying to make is women just go by how they are feeling and you can't control another person's feelings. It hurts sometimes to accept this and know the solution to getting these needs met isn't necessarily a cognitive one but one where you have to let go of a lot of thinking and your ego insecurities and just let your emotions guide you. Giving up that wanting to control will really free up a lot of energy for you to just flow and feel masculine and fun and relaxed and connect with women. That is enough to get laid if you are in the right setting and don't live with your parents Just focus on relaxing and having fun in these social settings like parties, bars, clubs, cool streets at night, on dates, etc and you will find yourself getting laid regularly. Sometimes it will come quickly sometimes it will come after a couple dates but it will come. Let go of beliefs that trigger these angry emotions in you and appreciate how volatile and beautiful the nature of women is. It doesn't always make senses and it doesn't have to. That's why women are so amazing, it's nice for things to not make sense sometimes and just sail across to the bedroom on that beautiful ocean of emotion women bring to the interaction. You are one piece of the puzzle and she is the other. Just focus on playing your role and having fun and you will find other pieces that will want to fit with you.

Social exposure is a key factor for sure but I've seen so many guys over focusing on the technical aspect and getting no where. The disclaimer about this approach is washed over like the quick credits to one of those 1-800 infomercials that says you can lose up to 20 ibs. There are tons of traps along the way and many guys will make little progress this way aside from perhaps developing some discipline and grit. I can't say such an approach will go to waste in bringing life lessons but there are more intelligent and conscious ways over the mass approaching path. It seems like there are guys who start following PUAs teaching this route and get on a carousel of failure and make little progress while some other students will progress. I'm sure there are more paths than one to really getting good with this but for me a more holistic approach and inner focus was the game changer. I got average results when I first got into pick up and it was incredibly frustrating. It didn't get better through mass approaching. It got better through inner work (therapy and psychedelics). I had taken tons of social time off and once I did the grueling inner work I dived back into going out and getting with beautiful women was easy and seamless. It's why I advocate much more for inner changes over spamming yourself. The gritty technical route just doesn't produce the same type of inner changes many guys need to make before becoming attractive and able to get a woman. I don't see a reason why both can't be done at the same time though.

Life purpose and self esteem / self love is incredibly important when it comes to becoming as charismatic and desirable (or as close to) as Russell Brand. You can tell he loves what he does in this world and is very much accepting of himself. He is on a mission. He genuinely relishes in giving through his charisma and is detached in the most healthy sense. You can see how embodied it is. No amount of technical practice will lead to this. This is something that will only come with great inner changes and will take a lot of work if one's foundation is heavily off.

Like Leo said, don't overthink it. Girls love sex and many are open to exciting sexual experiences with men if given an opportunity that feels right. A synergy of being fun, chill, safe, manly, etc. Use any other synonyms you like. That's about it.

of course. if you dose incredibly high and are holding back a ton of repressed anger and emotional trauma it absolutely can result in a sort of dissociation experience where the body just starts doing insane shit and you are tripping so deep you aren't in control of any of it. It happens all the time. How do people not know this before partaking in these substances? There was an article where this one college student took a ton of shrooms and ended up wandering into a house on campus and beating up a professor. They routinely have to hold people down at Ayahuasca retreats too. This is not talked about enough when it comes to these substances.

Mass approaching on the street is also a waste of time for a lot of guys with how it's just taught to grind through it. Everyone has a different path and learns differently. Some guys have benefited from it greatly and have gotten laid and met their girlfriends this way, others seem to get on a carousel of despair and then have to spend time unlearning all the dumb PUA theory to then do the real inner work that is keeping them from being attractive and ready for a relationship. I can't say I'm for or against it. If someone coming from a place of zero experience and emotional insecurity were to ask me if they should do the whole mass approaching thing, I would tell them they are better off finding a therapist, learning self love and learning body based emotional mastery techniques. Also to go out more and try to make new friends and put themselves out there in social situations where there are women. It can be challenging to do this so just resorting to the whole street approaching thing can be an ok first step but the whole "self improvement / grinding" vibe has never been my thing. Getting to a point where it's just seamless from a natural conversation on the street/bar to a date didn't start happening for me until I did the inner work. It was a terrible grind before this and I learned little.

So you are posting his videos and starting discussions about dating and picking up women here because you want to learn about financial freedom? It just sounds a little odd from my point of view and I’m not saying this to devalue you or even the benefits you may have gotten from listening to him. I’m glad you have found some help through him with supplements. Just a lot of the posts you make here recently seem sort of discombobulated and really overly analytical and too cognitive, for what in my opinion, often requires less of these long two hour theory spills this guy makes and something more holistic, inwardly deeper and in person.

I don’t want to sound insensitive and judgmental. This is pretty dark though and if this did indeed happen I think therapy with a compassionate and trained professional is the best course at this stage. Socializing is triggering enough as it is even for stable and functional people who are trying to improve in this domain. If one has emotional problems then going out isn’t going to address the root issues that need to be worked on.

I’m not triggered. I’m actually doing great in this domain in life. I feel I’m at the point where I could develop a program if it was my LP and be teaching this stuff along side him and the rest of the PUAs on YouTube. I’m not saying he isn’t a bad person or doesn’t make some good points. I just think you are shoehorning yourself by focusing on his theory so much when there is better and more holistic stuff out there. I’m assuming you want to get better with women right? I don’t think watching lots of his videos and filling your mind with more of his useless theory is the best way of doing this for you given some of the stuff you have been saying here lately. Why do you think diving in and listening to some deep analysis by him is helping you improve with women?

I don’t get your obsession with this guy. His over analyzing and these long videos he makes with his cheap camera are low key a bit creepy. Ok, so you are trying to get better with women and want to find an outside source to bring you some form of understanding so you have a reference point to progress from… fair enough. He says some pretty disgusting things about autism and people on the spectrum in the video description. He’s not 100% off but he’s wrong. Guys on the spectrum can do well with women if they work on themselves and learn emotional mastery. What’s this presumptuous shit about him blankety saying women being repulsed by autism spectrum. You need better theory sources tbh.

I like having different friends for different experiences. I would say that it really comes down to avoiding toxic people and just setting boundaries and cutting them off when you have to. Don’t waste your time hanging out with toxic people. Aside from that I’ve also felt sorta jaded with friends that were depressed and broke all the time. Other than that I’m pretty open to different kinds of people from all walks of life.

For any of you in a long term relationship, especially the guys, how does your partner's sexual past make you feel? I find myself feeling a little jealous sometimes about my partner's past but also curious. I'm quite aware of the beliefs behind it so I'm of course careful not to be judgmental. I'm aware that it stings something inside of me and is a pointer for growth and more self understanding, love and an expansion of my belief system. "You can't have your cake and eat it" You can't have your woman one way and also expect her to be another way when they contradict. It feels like a lie to chase this and wouldn't be right. For instance I am NOT into this sort of "good, conservative, boring girl" type. They are just so boring to me and I never feel any spark with them. I've always fallen hard for club chicks. They are so much fun and I always feel I have the best kind of sex with such women, filled with passion and openness to explore. But at the same time I have to accept the fact I've probably not been the first guy to have this fun with her. I'm hesitant to ask my partner how many other guys they have been with cause the answer may be harder for me to stomach than I realize Have any of you ever felt the same? How do you feel about your partner's sexual past? Does it bother you in any way and for any reason?

Situations like this can be tricky and yeah, logistics sometimes won't work out in your favor. Sometimes you gotta just let go and realize you aren't in complete control, just recognize everything right you did and be open to ways you can grow better. Sounds like you are doing that which is great. One time I made out with a girl on a date and I was near certain she would come back with me to my place. We had amazing sexual chemistry. From my POV at the time, If I lead any harder it would of come off pushy. The thing is she worked the next morning at 10am and she was embarrassed her roommate would hear her come back late. I never saw her again because after that I was super thirsty via text to get her out again in a similar situation. Another time I met a girl at a bar with her coworker. She was having a night out with another girl from work. We went to a club (all three of us) and I got her alone and we made out a bunch. She ended up leaving her friend alone at the club and went back to my place to fuck. Girls are weird like that. There is an element of randomness to it you gotta accept, just do your best and feel your best and lead like a man. I'm sure you have it more developed than you realize. It's your nature. It's just being obstructed sometimes by anxiety and limiting beliefs. I would read "The Way of the Superior Man" a book by David Deida. This can help you get in touch with this energy and express it in a healthy way. Having fun when you go out and being present helps a lot as well, without setting too many expectations for yourself when you go out. Sounds like this was a good learning experience for you. You're right for not being too invested in this number as well. I wouldn't discount it as entirely worthless though. Those numbers can be pennies from heaven and gain value when they sit around. I got one of those numbers out many months after making out with her and slept with her that weekend. Don't throw it away. Just keep it in your phone and send some memes to it occasionally and make some light chit chat she doesn't have to invest in. You may get her out on a date in the future. Invite her for a drink sometime

This forum isn't toxic. I personally wouldn't call it that. A lot of people here sometimes thinks they are right about everything and can be presumptuous or overly outspoken which can be kinda annoying. I'm guilty sometimes of this as well. Don't take what people say about you or your issue here too seriously, it's just for getting ideas. Keep it in check and it can be very helpful, especially for recommendations on books and programs.

Why do you think you didn’t get her back to your place? What was going through your mind when you felt stuff start to go “wrong?” Was there a point toward the end of the night where you felt confused? How was the vibe/flow? Did you ask her to come back? What do you believe about yourself because you didn’t sleep with her? I wasn’t there so it’s hard to actually comment on anything specific about what vibe or energy you are giving off. I can draw on experiences when it went well for me in this situation and when it didn’t. When it didn’t I would say I was very much in my head and actually on the more meek side, not leading firmly enough, not aligned with the masculine core. I was confused because on one hand I felt like I didn’t know what to do and thus came off less like a leader, and on the other hand I was very much in my head thinking about what I need to go. Leo is right here that you need to stick with her through the night and into the morning sometimes as well. Sometimes if the music is really good and depending on the vibe/type of the club (more table heavy clubs are glorified cattle markets so most people there aren’t there to dance or for the dj) she may want to stay if she is having a ton of fun dancing to the music if it’s a good “disco style” club with a popular/famous dj. You can usually just seamlessly suggest and lead her back of your place when you leave the club or outside. You need to lead. She is going to want to feel that you are leading things and masculine enough to do so in a way that is somewhat subtle. Some girls it may feel more obvious than others but the goal is to always be on the more subtle side of things. She may sometimes push back a bit if you are leading in a brutish way and need to dial it back down to find a nice balance between you and her. She will also push back if you are leading very weakly or if the interaction has lacked passion which it sounds like yours didn’t if you were making out with he. When there is the right balance between you and the woman she will usually just follow your lead back to your place after suggesting it just ordering a taxi and her following you into it.. Also keep it subtle. Don’t say “let’s have sex” or anything like that. Cuddle, have some tea, after party, whatever, but your goal is to work towards being more subtle while giving off masculine vibes and leadership.