Lyubov

“Pick up “ is based on the idea of casual sex IE outside of marriage or societal structure. It isn’t really something that has been enjoyed throughout humankind until recently. I’m not an anthropologist but I’m pretty sure the only people in society back in the day that had multiple sex partners were kings and the rich. They had sex slaves and concubines. Today most people in society will have slept with 10+ people by the time they are in their 20s. Don’t think that was the case back in the day and it won’t be in fundamentalist countries. It’s one of the reason Middle East dudes have the stereotype for being some of the most thirsty in social media or when they meet a western chick.

I do agree with you. My post could of been misinterpreted cause I reduced a lot in it. I don’t mean women won’t appreciate the work you do on yourself or the fruits that are grown on the tree from it. In a relationship women will appreciate it when a man puts effort into a relationship, loses that beer belly like he promised, makes an effort to clean, etc. What I meant more is a man getting himself to a place where he is presentable and just even able to get a woman out on a date and seem attractive. Most women do not care about the emotional work a man has done just to be able to attract a woman or be attractive enough for her to go out on a few dates with him. It’s basically a baseline prerequisite like knowing how to shower and dress yourself in clean clothes.

Women in general won’t give a shit about what personal work you’ve done in order to sleep with them. This doesn’t balance anything. It reeks with entitlement. You are the man. You are expected to be your best, it’s not a matter of you being your best and getting something in return for it.

I’ve permanently left the spirituality section of this forum. It’s not a discussion, mostly just soap box preachers and people parroting one or two other members on the forum. I think the rest of the forum is great.

Also guys, keep in mind it takes a lot of money to look conventionally beautiful. You think salon, nails, laser hair removal / waxing, make up, good skin soaps, etc are cheap? Nothing wrong if your girl doesn’t spend money on this. Just keep in mind if you are jerking off to and doing your little pick up stuff with the goal of getting a chick that gets DMs on Instagram then keep in mind it isn’t cheap to upkeep her look.

Nothing creepy about that in and of itself. College girls are hot. I’d love to be fucking college chicks into my late 30s. I actually agree with a lot of what you been saying about Leo in here but it’s also clear a lot of your own stuff has been brought into it as well. This probably isn’t the best post I could of made to be agreeing with what you been saying I think “game” and this overly logical approach to trying to get laid is over represented in here.

This is well put, and it's actually quite common in this day and age. A lot of women do have to rely on themselves and no one will just help them and give them money. It can sometimes be unstable. When she is the "girlfriend/woman" and receives support for being in her feminine she is also aware it is less stable today in modern society if the relationship were to end. She would have to then start all over in her career or pass up career opportunities. I would say this is also one of the reasons dating has changed so much in the west compared to say 60 years ago. Not saying it's a bad thing but just one of the factors. I'm even running up into this in my relationship. She has to move for work and think of her own survival. She has said before "you can't expect anyone to take care of you except yourself." It's a truth in modern society where both men and women take on working roles. I'm at the point where I really am prepared to tell her to leave the job so she doesn't move, we will find a place together and I will cover all the rent and food until she finds a new job in the city we are in. She is this important to me. A lot of women will refuse a deeper level of care and receiving because they have felt it end in a bad way before and then they have little money in the bank and missed out on career opportunities if they had relied on their masculine edge originally instead of their feminine. Not all women have parents they can just ask money for if they need to pay a doctor's bill or cover rent cause their friend bailed on paying it this month. If you want a hot feminine girlfriend for a longterm intimate relationship, you need to be at least prepared to pick up some of the slack here for her when necessary, or just screen and find a chick that has rich parents or is career focused (be prepared for her to be manly often and priorities it over the relationship).

lol but that is not actually how it plays out, I'm sure you know. If anything I go find a dark corner of the club to make out and mess around a bit

Well, I'm not sure I would go so far as to say I want that. In a way, I do a bit. Let me explain. I sometimes just desire other beautiful women I see and meet, they look so good and I just want sex with them. The thing is I wouldn't want an open relationship to fulfill this desire if she would be hurt by it or if it would mean the end of what we have. I very much want to go deeper with her. Our love and working towards communion is more important than that and I value that more. I would be willing to compromise on these desires if it means a deeper union with her, but they are still there to a degree. The sex with her gets better the more intimate we get so in a way I do mostly feel fulfilled sexually and we are always reaching new levels so I love that. I just have a lot of angsty desires still, the feeling of freedom and wanting to be with more beautiful women. I absolutely would not want any other guys having her. No way, it's out of the question for me. So I realize I may need to compromise if I want to fulfill a deeper desire I have which is being only with her. Also keep in mind I don't have this open relationship thing with her so if I was actually given the green light to have this I'm not sure I would even like it. I just have desires for other beautiful women still but I love my girlfriend and want a deeper monogamous relationship with her as well. Hmm, interesting perspective. I see what you mean. I don't feel I want to sleep with other women when I'm with her. My sex life is absolutely fantastic and it just keeps getting better and better with her. It mostly just arrises on days we don't see each other and I have sex on my mind all day.

I couldn't imagine not being able to pay for a $5 coffee for a girl I asked out on a date, absolute blasphemy. Jesus, we aren't saying pay for her university or buy her the latest iPhone here. I'm also against buying dinner as well on a first date or doing anything pricey until you have sex. My personal limits is drinks until I know we have a physical connection. Just ridiculous how guys are so tight and insecure about this. Get your finances in order if it's a problem. If your girl is a keeper she will even pay for you sometimes as well.

Fair enough, but don't rope in all spending as some sleazy gesture of simply buying your way into a girls pants or keeping them around in a relationship cause you don't have other qualities. That is not true. There are more nuanced and conscious ways of framing it. You worked hard for that money and it means a lot if it comes from an honest place. Women will fall back on their masculine edge if they feel like they need to rely on themselves to take care of their own survival. So if you want to keep her feminine just be open to not being cheap. I'm not talking about throwing around gifts like dollars at a strip club or spoiling your girl. You can spend money on a nice romantic holiday occasionally or if there is something specific IE my girl wanted to learn how to use old cameras, I studied this in uni, so I bought her one so we could make some art together and teach her. It melted her heart and she constantly brings this up to me how sweet this was.

Anyone know any good books on this? This is exactly what I'm working on currently. Deeper intimacy and the most deepest and profound sex with the woman I love in exchange for some of my freedom.

Any advice on acknowledging the "animal" side of me and balancing it and integrating it into my relationship with my girlfriend? I love her deeply and I want to be with her. The thing is there is part of me that holds back sometimes from loving her fully, still wants sexual experiences with other beautiful women, the feeling of the freedom of not being committed in a relationship, etc. My main focus is the deep love for my girlfriend and I want to focus on this more but the other side feels neglected when I do and it pulls me away sometimes. How can I resolve this?

Passionate love after a couple months of fucking with a chick can happen with little cash, sure. I mean yeah, it's possible sometimes, but try to live by some vow that you will be cheap and not spend money on your girl and see how that relationship goes for you, especially if she is a bombshell of feminine beauty. You've already seen how it has turned out with not buying a coffee. Also don't delude yourself, when you spend that extra money on a nice airbnb when on holiday cause you know it will impress whatever girl you meet there, you are basically spending that cash on the girl. When you buy a table at a club, etc. It's just being done indirectly. That is not the only reason guys feel the need to pay. It feels effeminate to split a bill. If your finances aren't in order where you can't take on more of the provider role when needed then there are going to potentially be some big problems. I'm not advocating for some sugar baby situation here but this idea you can just bypass the provider role, good luck, I've yet to see that done consistently. All the top players and dating coaches are rich and spend tons of money on mansion parties and creating situations for the most beautiful women to come into their lives.

I really appreciate your views here. The first half I'm with 100%. Some of the weaknesses are framed in a way I don't agree with. Regardless, nice points.

I'm actually considering it. Nothing is tying me down here. We are going to discuss it. She isn't even that passionate about this job. Money isn't a huge issue either, in fact we will have more free time where we are now. I'm going to try and discuss it over with her. Her flat lease is up this month. I am going to tell her I want to get a place with her here but will also consider moving with her. Agreed, and also she told me she really trusts my direction (she said even more than her own when it comes to rationality, clarity, planning and stuff of this nature) so I have that going for me. She also told me she has never loved anyone more than me. We are both deeply in love and committed. This isn't a matter of one side not being interested, we both genuinely want to be together. I haven't given up on us. I'm going to work it out with her!

This is one of the broader inner issues I'm working on in myself. Part of me still wants to play the field and have sex with different women. I'm fine falling deeply in love and having an amazing connection with an amazing woman but stuff like this does sort of get in the way of me loving fully in a really long term (1.5-2 year) relationship. Commitment to me basically means settling down and getting married. Not this sort of joke version of commitment in the west where a couple will date for like 6+ years and MAYBE get married, what a joke.

not exactly true. it occasionally happens during nightlife. if she finds you cute she will do that thing women do, you know, the bump with the elbow, the smile, making eyes, make a comment towards you then act shy and expect you to then carry the conversation. it's not common but it happens, feminine women will do some pretty crazy stuff for male attention when they are horny. it will sometimes come out in sort of toxic ways too, like pushing a guy if he is in the way at a club. you get my point.

alcohol and ovulation

I was really close to going through with sleeping with an escort once. I chickened out. She was really hot, independent and doing her own thing. It can be beneficial for you but also consider the ethics behind it. It can be hard to really know if you are contributing to a toxic cycle or receiving sex from an independent woman. I like the idea cause it turns me on but I can't bring myself to go through with it. Maybe if I was in your situation I might. Is there any way you can put yourself out there? Just muster up a little bit of will to get a date?

To be honest, if a guy has any hope of keeping a REALLY hot FEMININE girl(s) around in his life, he is going to need to be generous. Paying for those airbnbs, trips, helping her when she has a problem, etc. There are obviously some occasional exceptions and I'm not suggesting supporting her entirely like a child. Maybe your D is good and / or you know how to pull her strings and press her buttons. Most of the guys I've seen like this are usually hanger ons and pretty toxic and have little going for them besides their cocaine addiction and ability to occasionally keep a girl around through manipulation. You may not even need to spend much on her specifically to get one or two fucks, but if you want it to go deeper you will need to be the giver in the relationship. Most of the guys living this lifestyle have money and know when to be generous and when not to be taken for a ride. You can maybe find some rare hippy or masculine career girl that you can go 50/50 with but if you live in a normal city, you will be paying for your girlfriend and helping her when she needs it if she has some shitty art gallery internship or some problems. The girls that look for handouts right away like a super expensive dinner on the first date, etc, are to be avoided however. May not work for everyone and some guys may prefer a more independent, career woman who refuses money, but then be prepared for her to not be as feminine as you desire.

damn, hope he is ok and has insurance

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? She will be relocating in January. I saw her today. We didn’t really dive into it. Just talked about what she will do when she is there. It was a very painful meeting with her but there was zero conflict, just a feeling of love for each other, she was very feminine and caring. I held back so many tears. She commented how I seemed sad and anxious. I didn’t feel like it was an appropriate time to dive into the sadness with her, just enjoy our evening and be in the present. I can tell she subconsciously knows this is likely the end of our relationship but she doesn’t wanna focus on it. She’s kinda stopped being practical and suggesting I look for a job in the same company which I have no interest. She’s moved on to sweet jokes about packing me in the suitcase. I’m honestly broken and in tears. Crying nonstop when I’m alone in my flat. This will be a really hard two months but I hope I grow from this and come out a more loving and stronger man.

I know this guy. He will gorge himself with tons of fast food on camera. He bought a million dollar flat as well from it. Honestly, it’s pretty sad but at the same time I don’t know what to make of it. He has gained a ton of weight and it is very unhealthy.

My girlfriend is moving to another country for work. We are both deeply in love with each other. This is really tearing me up. Feels like I’m on a boat I can’t steer and I see the waterfall coming in the distance. I’m not going to pretend this doesn’t hurt. I’m staying active and doing the stuff I love and want to work on. Not moping or sulking around the flat. Continue on my life purpose. I’m feeling actually quite accepting of the situation but it hurts so much. I knew this day was very likely to come, even when we met. This wasn’t thrown on me out of nowhere. Since me met I always knew she was going to maybe have to relocate for her job, it’s in her contract. I just went with the flow and because she was so cool and beautiful we feel deeply in love. She says I’m her everything. The way she touches me. When I look deep in her eyes I feel it. She loves me so much and she knows I feel the same. So it just hurts knowing this will be ending in the next couple months. I don’t have anything practical to save this and honestly I don’t want to feed lies. She is under the Impression we will stay together. I don’t want to give her false hope. I’m Im not seeing a practical solution for this. She is supposed to relocate for an entire year in a country I have no interest moving to. I don’t want to follow her there. I also don’t want long distance. I really don’t see how our relationship will survive this. Sometimes I wish I were older and ready to settle down so I could tell her I want her to stay and that this relationship is the one I want to lead to marriage. This is not the case for me however. So I’m just hurting so much seeing that the end is near. Im so grateful we had this time together though. I love her so much.