Lyubov

I think MDMA is better than most psychedelics for growth. I've seen tons of people have huge mushroom or dmt trips and not really make much progress but mdma made them rethink how kind they are to their family and friends.

why not both? I think bdsm when practiced in a healthy way is expressing anger in a healthy way. It's not really my cup of tea though. Too "culty" and weird for me like some sort of star trek fandom. I think some light bondage stuff, consensual rapey themed role play and a toy whip from a sex shop doesn't really count as bdsm since it's so common today. bdsm is kinda underground. I think you kinda have to connect all the sort of emotions that arise (anger being one of them) when feeling that strong passion and then connect a path for them to the heart. This also pulls me out of my head in the process. I've found myself having this surge of passion during sex that feels similar to anger, has some shades of it so to speak, but it connects to my heart area and love is guiding it and sort of using it as fuel to further love deeper and rejuvenate the passion. Really rough, life changing passionate sex happens during this process. It ended in tears with both of us professing our love and trust for each other just recently. Anger isn't a problem so to speak when it arrises. It just depends how it's used during the sexual process. I do think it's possible for abuse and very dysfunctional sexual habits to take place under a bdsm / femdom guise however.

Don’t take what they say seriously. Like another poster said this is the woman equivalent to red pill / pick up. Every thread about dating is a dumpster fire on that site.

dude you’re asking creepy personal questions, take a hint

I have a friend who does femdom. She’s pretty good looking. I kind of resent her though for this. Her weirdo boyfriend broke her heart so she’s going through a “I hate men” phase and transitioned from general onlyfans nudes to femdom. It attracts some really sad men and some really unhealthy women. It’s not healthy. As for fapping, dude I literally came like 4 times with my gf over the weekend 1 sat 3 sun and then fapped twice on Monday on my own. My sex drive is insanely high especially since I’ve gotten active at the gym again and am super in love. Cultivate passion energy. If your passion for life is super high your sex drive will usually be super high, although I think you then have to learn to transmute all this passion so you aren’t just fucking for several hours a day.

Agreed, control and blame will lead to a literal never ending back and forth that just gets uglier and uglier till it burns out bitterly and leaves both people traumatized. “Nonviolent Communication By Marshall Rosenberg” is a must read for avoiding this or coming back from a back and forth like this. It literally saved my relationship! It’s a short book too. Must read for anyone here in a relationship or just getting into a relationship.

Have any women here experienced hair loss? What were the causes and what cured it? My girlfriend is having issues. She is seeing a doctor and they think it is hormonal and related to her birth control. anyone have any advice in such a situation?

Like 90% of this thread is you just whining about your shitty roommates. I'm not entirely against the whole notion of white woman feminism being myopic in modern times given all the other issues of discrimination going on but your thread barely examines this in any sort of intelligent way.

Settle down when it feels right for yourself and feel it's worthy to commit to. When you feel like you have worked through enough psychological stuff, when your T levels have dipped some with age maybe, when you have worked through painful/dysfunctional beliefs, explored your desires fully, etc. There may even come some sacrifice and compromise still when it comes to settling down cause a couple of these may not have had a book end to them. No one here can tell you when the right time is for you. Just shed some light on the various factors needed for settling down and prioritizing / deepening relationship love.

Hello, thank you for this advice. So I have an update and am looking for some further advice. She had her thyroid checked by an endocrinologist and it's perfectly healthy, that doctor recommended she see a therapist and a psychiatrist. She can be an incredibly stressed woman at times and has her own psychological/trauma stuff she is just beginning to work on. She says she feels stressed a lot. She will get triggered and become very upset so I know she could use some healing here. So the factors at play here I see are her overall mental health and her current ability to handle/release the stress of life, triggers, and traumatic reactions. Secondly her birth control pill could play a role IE the psychological swings as added stress to her life or maybe some hormonal imbalance from the pill could be playing a role, not entirely sure. We haven't totally ruled out the pill as the primary cause or a contributing factor cause however I do think stress is play a role, pill could be adding or intertwining with that. She has seen another doctor that has switched her birth control pill and is still in contact with her for support with this factor. The last pill she was on she would experience some pretty strong mood swings and when this pill was changed recently to a new one it got so bad that she had to go to the doctor to have them switch her again to another one. I'm hoping this new one is more gentle and is the right one for her. Thirdly, general lifestyle improvement like less partying, better sleep and not skipping regular healthy meals (she does this sometimes) will aid her during this. It hurts her tummy and makes her stressed when she skips meals. She has a decent diet but does miss meals sometimes and she takes all the usual supplements so I think nutritional deficiency can be either ruled out or considered not a top primary cause/contributor but of course it can be improved with her not missing meals. Fourthly, COVID and the vaccine I think could have also played a BIGGGG role here. She had covid in 2020 and then she got the vaccine. I don't know the entire history of events but she says her hair loss coincides with the vaccine several months prior, her dermatologist also asked about this as well if she had COVID or had the vaccine. This started a few months after she got the vaccine. I can't remember if she went through a faze before this after COVID but I will ask her. I wonder if the vaccine as a main stress put her into a sort of shedding cycle. I'm hoping it slows down soon so she can get her hair back as thick as it used to be. She has beautiful hair so it hurts to see it thinning. I know it's painful for her cause this is a slow process and it can take several months for something like this to stop and then the new hairs to grow in again Any other follow up advice with more info on her situation?

I’m with you here. Both of those companies are cutting edge for sure and creating some very interesting things. There are these really weird Elon Musk videos on YouTube though with him talking about space where they have been cut and chopped over music from some science fiction movie. This channel has a ton of them. He does benefit from a lot of stage orange bros simping for him and sharing motivational videos of him. It’s weird. The read I get on the guy is that he is incredibly savvy and has world class entrepreneurial, business management and marketing skills. I think he was a very skilled programmer at one time as well. His personality is kinda the equivalent to one of those toxic/selfish Wall Street finance bros but he was clever enough to position himself in some Silicon Valley future techn industry. He’s kind of modern society’s version of an emperor. Whereas we are thanking him for making some luxury electric cars no one can afford and validating capitalism, the romans were thanking Caesar for killing the barbarians and taxing them into submission.

I’m not jealous of Elon Musk. I do think he’s a dumb person’s idea of a smart person though. He’s a world class one of a kind business man and bullshitter that cultivated a cult of personality and legitimately moved the electric car industry forward. He has also managed to manipulate the stock market like crazy. The guy has shit values though and I can see through what is a good bit of facade and his goofy cult. Planet would be better off if some advanced spiritual leader or humanitarian had this level of influence and eyes on them but it’s whatever so I’m not so bothered or unsurprised.

Basically I am not very passionate about my work (exam preparatory work). I don’t put in the most outstanding and attentive effort I could. I find the work boring and not very rewarding. I’m somewhat lazy with it. I don’t do a horrible job, I’m doing okay. Some clients I put in more effort because they are willing to work harder. I feel I am being lazy though and cutting corners at times and it makes me feel like a cheat. It pays alright and provides me some freedom however and I currently don’t have an opportunity to switch to something I’m passionate about (working on it though). Still, I feel a bit bad that I’m not giving it 100% and feel a bit like a cheat, but I’m also emotionally drained nor motivated to do a better job. I think the root solution is to transition to a new career. In the mean time I think pushing myself to do a better job while I transition will make me feel better than having tiny holes poked in my integrity. Anyone here ever have passionless work that made them feel lazy and a bit guilty?

How many days or weeks? hmm. I would say it usually moves pretty fast for me like this but there have been some exceptions. Usually it’s like a week after or a few days. Once we start texting I usually meet the girls that are interested a week or two after max. It’s rare but sometimes the numbers you get from tinder will be good a few months later if you text them out of the blue. It’s rare though. Just keep moving things forward with the girls you want to meet, you’re overthinking things a bit here.

also here is an interesting article. 29% of Americans agree with him being named TIME Person of the Year: https://today.yougov.com/topics/politics/articles-reports/2021/12/14/elon-musk-time-person-of-year-2021

Tinder is pretty simple. She is either willing to meet you or not and that’s usually mostly decided and dependent on how she feels on any given day and how much she likes your profile when you matched. There isn’t the complexity and depth to it like real life and it isn’t really the space to “turn things around” so to speak. Text game isn’t really a thing. In a way it is but it isn’t exactly a helpful model. I would say there is more so “texting etiquette” and “not fucking it up.” I had a simple opener on tinder. “you look cute but dangerous.” She would usually laugh or respond “why?” and I would tell her it’s my intuition. From there just introduce myself and get acquainted with some small talk before asking for her number. If she went along with the few acquaintance messages and number request then that is basically all the screening I need to know if she is interested or not. How quickly she responds and how friendly and open her messages are is another indicator. If it’s just cold don’t even bother. Once I got the number I would usually strike while the iron was hot. Basically do the same thing over again, small talk and send a meme or two before asking her out. These numbers go pretty cold quickly and you usually can’t keep these girls around as options a month or two later. It happens sometimes but most will spoil like food. a lot of guys mistake disinterest as some opportunity to run their little game techniques on tinder or through texting. Trust me, you’re wasting your energy and the payoff like this is rare. You’re better off just screening for girls that wanna meet and putting in time meeting them then over convince tinder girls that aren’t replying to your messages. if you aren’t getting matches and replies you need to work on your profile.

most girls are way too shy to call themselves the girlfriend. they will look for the guy to call her it first. it's always been that way from my experience.

Don’t worry at all about your past and being inexperienced here. You absolutely don’t have to disclose all this stuff especially on a first date and likely even in the subsequent months of dating a woman. I was actually in the same position at your age. She has plenty herself she is not ready to be vulnerable and open about. That’s not the focus here. Focus on having fun and taking a bit of a risk. No need to take it so seriously. Look at it as an opportunity to expose yourself to a new experience, learn and have fun. I hope you enjoy your date!

A lot to answer here in your post. A lot of this you will have to figure out on your own and trust your own knowingness and intuition. You got this my guy. I can give you a few insights I’ve had though. If you hang out and talk a lot via text, are emotionally vulnerable with each other and are having sex regularly then it is going in relationship territory. FWB just feels different. You will know what I’m talking about. It’s like knowing when you had an orgasm or awakening. You will just know and feel it’s happening. You will be thinking a lot about this girl and she will always be quite free and available to hang out and spend time with you. You may even find you are introducing each other to your friends and starting to RELATE, that is becoming a WE over an I. Making plans together, etc. FWB feels very separate and just about the sex and hanging out a bit after. For you, be fearless and let the relationship unfold and allow yourself to slowly grow into her. From there a lot of this neediness will surface and you can start addressing it and healing it so to speak. She will have her own process like this unfold as well. Good luck!

You’re playing a loser’s game ranking women like this. It does untold damage to yourself and your esteem in return. Stop ranking them and just pursue women you find beautiful.

You actually are deeply misinformed and parroting a lot of red pill talking points here intentionally or unintentionally. I'm sorry for being so blunt here. You make a few valid points why it might be bothersome to a man but your entire conceptualization of "why" is actually so off and just screams a lack of dating experience with women both in their 20s and 30s. You can ask a woman at any age what dating is like and they will all say it's hard. That's the nature of the beast. It does not get harder past 30. Maybe the thought stories behind it changes but the rawness and emotional rewards stay the same. You saw a video of one or two women complaining about dating being hard in their 30s and are now basing your entire world view around that thinking it gets harder for all of them and that this somehow morphs into some sort of existential crisis for them. Does it get harder to conceive and start a family? A bit. Could that be a regret, yes. But that has nothing to do with finding a partner a woman is satisfied with. Plenty of divorced me not looking to have kids. Your bolded statement is literally pure fantasy of what you think it is like for women. You have no clue actually. I can tell you now most women, if they married a guy, are happy and not going into some sort of maximizing thought story where they think they could of married better if they were in their 20s. I'm going to be repeating a previous point I made in my last post if I explain further. It's somewhat superfluous to the discussion but no, playboys/puas don't cause nearly the amount of harm the guys here say they do. Modern women know when a fuck is a fuck and actually are far more psychologically equipped to handle this than you realize. They are playing their own cunning game and most are far more prepared for what happens when they play with fire. It doesn't feel good to be ghosted but playboys don't have nearly the investment in her to sway her so much that it traumatically affects her future relationships in a heavy/impactful way. She may be more cautious to hook up on the first date with a playboy going forward but that is far more surface level than what we are talking about here. In terms of feeling special. I agree with you there. That is a valid point that if your partner has a higher number than you that it can cause a feeling of imbalance. I already addressed this in my prior post how to handle this in a healthy way. You are free to pursue your other desires and leave the relationship or stay with her knowing, or not knowing her past, whatever she is comfortable disclosing to you. I don't look down upon such under developed men. I think they just handle this issue in an incredibly dysfunctional way. Read my prior post. It would be so much easier if shame and judgement wasn't wrapped up with being a slut. Men and women could openly disclose their bodycount and find someone they feel comfortable being with. Some will be put off by the imbalance and free to find someone similar to them. People who don't care can be together. That's not reality unfortunately. This is an issue that unfolds over several months in a relationship (or even longer, or just swept under the rug). I also agree with your analysis of relationships in these societies. All of them have room to improve in. There is plenty of judgement even in advanced societies on this topic. I know the center of gravity isn't exactly where I am but I'm also aware I'm much more advanced than most men and I'm a trailblazer and leader in this domain just through my understanding, being and energetic presence. And for the record, I actually do prefer to have a partner that is at or bellow my level of experience. I can relate to this issue. I've dated a woman more experienced than me before and it was an issue. I learned from it though and learned to create a healthy and judgement free way of handling such an issue without conceptualizing in all sorts of crazy, judgement based, lowly developed red pill ways like you have.

fair point here. women play a role in this problem of transparency as well.

How about you start believing women? Not all that dumb pick up bs about how every woman lies about this and can't be trusted. Most won't bother telling you if they aren't comfortable or they will tell you the number flat out if it's honestly low.

It's all the garbage slut shaming and dumb red pill mindsets that make it hard/impossible for a woman to just flat out tell her date early on how many other guys she has been with. It would make dating , spotting this imbalance and finding a match so much easier if this wasn't the case. You both could tell each other how many partners you both had and then know right away if there is an imbalance and then decide where to proceed. It's easily done with saying if you want kids or not or how rich you are. Not have to draw this bullshit out over months and play idiotic coy games. All the stupid mindsets on this just setting everyone up for failure because a portion of people are super butt hurt and judge someone getting more action than them. This is done so much more transparently with other values. Shame sex still carries this taboo.

It's not the mainstream male perspective. It's the perspective of under developed men. The center of gravity may be leaning there more but we are striving for more here obviously. It matters but it depends on why it matters. Is it hidden because of under developed men judging it and dumping their insecurities on her about it or for reasons beyond that? Women enter into relationships for many reasons. Sex is very important, no doubt, but it's not the entirety of it all so to speak for the relationship to feel whole. That doesn't solely determine the value of her man in her eyes. She subjectively may feel very different about what he is bringing to the table and not even be thinking about her past or his. It does not become harder for a woman in her late 30s to find a good husband. This is incredibly subjective what good is and it's evident you are putting far too much weight into that sexual market place BS that fits very specific sexual preferences of yours. It doesn't apply nearly as much when it comes to settling down at this stage in life. You're parroting red pill jargon. Women base their value of men on a lot more than his job at that age. A good bit have probably already been married once already and are getting into a second marriage with another divorced man. I would also say they are evaluating their partner much more holistically at this stage as well when choosing. You are describing a woman stuck in the past with your last statement. That's easily avoided and not something that comes up much in a healthy relationship. Most women don't have to worry about being forever-alone-ers like the guys on here getting into pick up do.