Lyubov

And I also think this applies to one side more than the other. Bothered by it? Take it up with the creator. We are all different and unique. I’m not crying about having more muscle, the implications and obligations for my own uniqueness, the expectations for me to defend and put my body on the line if there is danger. Let’s not try to just level out the differences in male and female sexuality. My 5’3 120ib ex gonna defend me if there is a war? Way too much denial these days in this. Women putting their bodies up easily for any man are not attractive as long term partners and for good reasons. Men do not want to fully commit to a woman who has been had by a huge amount of men, that number is subjective and depends a lot on culture but it is an observable phenomena. It’s not fair. Life is not fair, it’s fantastic.

I do agree that a woman for her sexuality and whatnot doesn’t diminish her value but also I want to add that men are not wrong for wanting low body count. Men are constantly being gaslit for this. We do not want to give up our options to girls who been fucked by lots of other guys. I know everyone is trying to constantly spin it as male insecurity. Sorry, no. It’s male survival and thank god we have this because choosing a woman who slept with half the town is a terrible survival strategy if we want our genetics passed on and to honor what we value which is beauty and exclusivity. If a woman sleeps around I agree that doesn’t affect her value. Fine. Anyone who wants to be with her can be with her and I wouldn’t say they are better or worse for it. But following your logic we could throw in any preference. You could say the same for being fat, for being physically unattractive. It’s opinion. A woman who slept around is a huge red flag for me and for most men and it isn’t because we are just closed minded bigots. If there’s 10 men and 1 woman on an island, there’s one baby, 10 women 1 man, 10 babies. This is nature. Mammals across many species value exclusivity. From our relative preference why should I value sex with a woman who fifty other men had? Would you like to give me some dollars and I’ll give you Monopoly money? I do agree in an absolute sense value doesn’t change and this is not an attack on anyone. It’s a matter of preference and I’m just saying I’m tired of men being gaslit for having this preference. We value women who haven’t been had by every brother, and that is not an insecurity.

That’s 99% of the 24 hour news cycle. People used to get 30 minutes a day of news and that was it.

Acceptance is very powerful.

He’s always acted cringy and weird. You seen him before he got hair plugs around the PayPal time? He has a lot of money and is good at business so people see only that side of him so to speak. If he worked a job with less prestige he would probably be one strike away from getting fired for harassment. Granted he may be in the spectrum though so he’s out of pocket.

Trump did bad but not as bad as Biden

Wonder if this will affect trump as much as the disaster Biden debate

I actually think the opposite hillary was incredibly un likable. She had this sort of this way of carrying herself where she thought she was going to be given the presidency on a silver platter. She was not relatable, boring, zero charisma and it seemed like when debating she was speaking to big money interests. Kamala I feel is talking to me. She’s much better than Hilary. Hilary in hindsight was an awful candidate.

On a state level, sure and one could make a case that's a big deal but socially they are not far off at all.

No clue, life is uncertain no? I hope for 100 years, I have set this intention and will take responsiblity for this.

I would find someone who can really help you resolve your core beliefs and help you understand why you are creating depression. This is my opinion but generally speaking these social bootcamps are overpriced and not worth it at all. The suggestion above about backpacking and traveling is even better. I would really focus on "healing", social skills just naturally get better when you are in your flow and not self sabotaging. I think this is where you should focus, not on some surface level bandaid. If it was affordable I'd say go for it but $4k is so much. Save your cash and look into therapy with someone who is developed and been where you are at. I wouldn't even mind hopping on a call with you if it helps, I'm wanting to practice coaching so it could be mutually beneficial. A lot of talk therapy goes in circles, you need to get down to the core of the belief which you are creating the depression from and change it.

calm down guy, you'd be surprised how many men are willful slaves to this notion. I'm not saying don't provide, I prefer to pay for my dates as well, free yourself from this expectation, you will see how exploited you are by yourself holding onto these beliefs. you can be paying for those dates while she's hopping on someone else's dick, I've seen it, I've been on both ends. Careful with your money and chi energy. You do not need to provide right away.

Great post and I agree with everything you wrote here. I’m currently really quieting and resolving any issues with my belief system which blocks this inner love and acceptance within me.

This is the thing about life though. We can never be 100% sure on anyone or certain about anything. All we can do is focus on ourselves with this regard. I would say it is a very reasonable belief to believe there is someone out there for you if you are aligning with the abundance in the world and you are able to really see the world in a new and different way. Don’t believe everything everyone has told you about scarcity and half of what you see, don’t believe that either. This is where the law of attraction comes in. I’ve found just treating any sort of thinking that largely prioritizes something outside us as fruitless usually. It’s better to ask “what can I do to become more authentic and attractive.” Just even pondering doubts creates more doubt. Be careful.

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I've been through this before myself. I can say that it was eye opening to me. A lot of it comes from beliefs about love and relationships that need to mature, and it's not just for men but women too. We have these ideals about love , we commodify it, we believe we need another person in order to have value when we don't, we can take on a very narrow perspective especially when in love because we see this person as sort of the fix for our addiction. The wider implications are relationships are always changing, love is not a commodity so this person isn't actually giving us anything just mirroring back what we have created, and that lastly and most importantly we don't need another person to be whole and should be prioritizing our own path. So all of this can really contradict and create a conundrum where we have to actively prioritize what is true and what benefits us the best and most in the most honest and authentic way and often times this can come at the expense of our ideal laced relationship which was filled with all sorts of intense passionate highs from sex and travel and really all the amazing stuff that is relating to people. Many people have a natural appreciation for relating. So the life lesson of sorts is to expand and really start to see the bigger picture, which doesn't seem to ever end. I know this exact topic intimately. my 3 year relationship ended exactly over this and many of the things you wrote here were a dynamic which my ex and I struggled with. I have heard her side quite well and have explored mine also so to me I feel very comfortable with my understanding on this. Basically I see this as an opportunity to approach love and relationships from a different angle and drop a lot of the ideals often times placed on them. I'm not sure the next time I will have a girlfriend. I definitely know I don't want one that prioritizes me as an ATM.

Women get different things from different men. You have more than one need no? Women explore different desires in a relationship. Money may take the forefront oftentimes. Passion does too. Attraction due to strong character. Any number of reasons. Provider is just one. Many guys provide a ton and get taken advantage of. You are looking at it narrowly.

https://www.youtube.com/@WuWeiWisdom Probably the best teacher I have been so lucky to come across if you wish to resolve any issues that are keeping you from living as one and unaligned with your true value, spirit, god, whatever you wish to call it

I’m partial towards Ukraine and arming them. USA allies are Europe and the world is safer with a USA / Europe coalition and with these governments calling the shots. I’m not going to get into a moral argument. It’s a waste of time. I’m not going to even label Russia as wrong or worse than the west in a moral sense. I just believe the lives of Europeans and even Russians are better off with the USA lead coalition on top. Russia just wants Ukraine to rebuild an empire. It isn’t even a culture war, Ukraine hates gay people just as much as Russians. It’s just geopolitics and the collective ego of an empire believing it is diminished in value with less land and influence. Russia is a military country and largely just exports energy resources with a pretty imbalanced economic system and largely dishonest corruption running the show behind a fake facade of democracy. USA is a democracy with all sorts of power imbalances and checks and balances that have been eroding. So I want to say this isn’t about moralism or who is good or bad, but just in terms of stability there will be more wars if power was to balance over to these authoritarians vs if it were to stay with the relatively democratic cesspools in the west, so I’ll say I’m fine with Ukraine getting weapons and fighting back. After all Russia invaded them. People are safer statistically with Russia and China as weaker countries that can’t expand their borders. Thing is though west doesn’t have a stomach for war so I do think the needle can move some:

I’m not saying you have to allow a relationship like this to by our life. I’m saying you are not impartial to what you will and will not accept. A man who marries a broke McDonald’s employee is not some impartial saint. He usually wants a power dynamic where she is easier to lead and has less of an opinion or is young and beautiful: I’m not saying wanting those things are wrong but you framed it as somehow men love unconditionally while women don’t. If a woman has a preference for a man with money that is their preference. Fine. I don’t want to be with a woman who has a super strong value for that. There are plenty of beautiful humble women who don’t want tons of money or expect a super rich guy to upgrade their life.

I think what we all would like is to find a partner who is on the same path as us, shares our same values and communicates honestly. You want to be authentically you and be with someone who wants to be with you while you’re being authentic. If a girl doesn’t want to be with you because you don’t have enough cash, then don’t date her. I don’t see the problem. Look for a woman who doesn’t have this preference.

This is just pure bias. A guy will marry her because she is beautiful and feminine and follows his lead. Men usually don’t marry women for who they are, they marry them for what they symbolize to them. It’s conditional as well but in a different way. Go marry a 40 year old HIV positive crack addicted homeless woman on the street and accept everything about them and how that impacts your life. Then you can say you love unconditionally.

The thing is love isn’t a commodity. It isn’t something that can actually be given. A relationship is just two people relating and then you create love within yourself, you choose to go through these doors. Our partner acts as a sort of mirror for us which we then see this love within us. We do acts which reflect we are creating this love and in turn they do the same. It can come in the form of words, actions or sex which we create the most powerful and intense forms of love. Slow down. Actually examine what love is. Love in english is usually used to describe a physical sensation / vibration in the body which you have chosen to create because from within you are accepting and viewing what is with acceptance, allowing what is to be. You could by extension use the word love to mean look at what is without judgement. The thing is most people like you said do this partially. We do in fact only accept certain things about our partners while accepting other things. This is usually how relationships work. We choose to relate with people where there is this sort of equal balance between the two forces which have certain desires they wish to fulfill. Yin and yang. So yes I would say most women are with a man and love a man for the lifestyle and the actions he takes which show he is creating love within himself. At the same time she should know her beauty and feminine qualities are what interests him. After all, why not just date another man? You are impartial towards wanting to experience certain qualities of hers that fulfill desires. Remember, two opposites make one. It’s not her job to unconditionally accept everything about you, that’s your job to do it for yourself. It’s also not your job to unconditionally accept everything about her, at least not in the sense where you’re obligated to relate to her. I unconditionally accept the male barista who makes my coffee. It doesn’t mean I desire to fuck him. I would say the way forward is to really drop every story or belief you been told about relationships and focus on learning what love is and acceptance is and where it comes from, and how it’s always here for you. Then see how that benefits your relationships with others. It can really transform your life. Don’t look for value and love outside yourself. You have it now already.

It’s that way for him because he believes it’s that way and doesn’t realize how unfathomably deep the spiritual lessons go when it comes to relationships and mundane sober living. With that mindset the Tao will not bless him with these lessons BUT every path is different so it’s a matter of personal preference if you want to explore this aspect of life or go in a different direction. Many “seekers” I’ve spoken to are some of the most childish people you will meet and are hopeless when it comes to relating. I prefer spirituality with legs. Not state chasing. I’ve learned more from life and about spirituality from the dysfunctional relationship with my ex more than any ayahuasca ceremonies I’ve done. But I wouldn’t say my path is better or more enlightened than anyone else’s. I don’t believe there is a tier list or even a way to compare paths. But anyone who thinks relationships are just some novel aspect of life without deeper spiritual lesson to them is kidding themself, and if you believe that and believe this is absolutely true about relationships, then definitely don’t bother with them cause you’re wasting your time.

Javfly I would invite you to inquire deeper on how you’re living your life and why you believe women are a distraction to your spiritual growth and evolution. You may find women are some of the best teachers on life. You may find by idolizing or othering them then labeling that as a distraction is actually all you and within your control and will to resolve. I would stop labeling other people as distractions and not act as a victim. It’s impossible to be a victim and it’s impossible for anything to be a distraction unless you allow it to be. I would assume where you would have to focus is on your integrity and your belief system. Women are not the problem here.