Lyubov

Thanks man !

Hello and welcome to my journal. I have never written a public journal like this before but I am looking for new ways to express my emotions and thoughts. I've grown a bit tired of writing alone. Here I'm going to share... Music My insights & wisdom I've picked up through life Stories Photos Interesting videos, books, podcasts and articles Rant and rave Right now in life I'm working on trying to love myself more, be more creative and authentic, heal/integrate my past, build positive life habits around money, work on my diet, transition to a more fulfilling and longterm career, find deeper intimacy with women and in general live my life to the fullest. Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment

BREAK NEWS: Twitter is a dumpster fire and you should wait for trusted official sources to cross check and publish information.

https://www.newyorker.com/news/q-and-a/stephen-kotkin-putin-russia-ukraine-stalin A great article by a respected scholar on the war. He believes Russia is favored to win this war. A good balance to all the Twitter stuff saying how well Ukraine is doing.

It’s because lots of their military budget is taken through corruption starting from the top down. You can assume for every million allotted for the military there, some percentage is taken before the money is actually put to use how originally intended. It’s why there are reports of Russia’s land equipment being poorly maintained and serviced. Hard to keep maintenance up when that money gets eaten away at by corruption. It’s why they tout their nukes so much and make so much propaganda about their army. They know it’s actually not as good as it really is so they have to compensate.

My chess example was just there as a way to illustrate he is making ridiculous and sloppy mistakes. A more apt chess example that’s similar to what Russia is doing would be losing material unnecessarily and giving away lots of hanging pawns until the timer runs out or there is a draw on the board. Which just goes against the image Putin has cultivated as a cool headed, strategic mastermind. There is legacy at play here. I do think it isn’t too presumptuous to assume that they were expecting to play a flawless and beautiful game. Lots of evidence indicates they were expecting a quick siege and less resistance from the locals. With the way things have unfolded this was not some sort of “dirty bomb” approach where Putin planned to be like some ruthless dictator and just throw half his men into the fire like a mad king. Putin is much more calculated and caring I would say. Russian military casualties are a huge red button issue in Russia and one of the few things that actually hurts his approval there apparently (read this once). I don’t think it’s too presumptuous at all to call what’s unfolding a strategic blunder on Russia’s part. We will have to sit and see what happens. No one has a crystal ball so of course I put little weight into what pundits predict.

I made it out fine. In Europe now. Kinda sad about what is going on. Also been forced to rethink my long term plans. I hope to go back to Russia one day. It’s actually an awesome place to live if you are in the capital or spb.

https://www.americanpurpose.com/articles/preparing-for-defeat/ Francis Fukuyama’s take on all of this. Those that know him know he is a very nuanced and interesting thinker on this. He is predicting a Russian defeat.

Because no rational or intelligent military strategist would of put their military into a position that Russia currently has theirs in under the circumstances they were in. It’s like moving your king in front of your pawns. People who know chess will instantly spot the blunders and know there are systemic problems on Russia’s side, even if they don’t know all the details and the exact inside story. It’s just such a complete blunder that it exposes all the issues in Russia’s autocratic power structure. Putin has filled his regime with imbeciles so no one was ever clever enough to overthrow him. His defense minister is a construction foreman. In turn this has lead to it hurting the synergy, progress and development of the government. Top down autocratic power structures have their pluses and minuses as well as their Achilles’ heel when it comes to their survival and this is such a situation that’s exposed a lot of this. I wouldn’t be surprised if Putin was being fed all sorts of bullshit about how modern his military is then not taking into account all the corruption going on bellow him. No one knows exactly what’s going on in the kremlin but this has clearly exposed they have some serious problems coming from the top down.

The problem that I have with them turning off monetization with all Russian accounts (saw this on the news) is that a lot of opposition voices and thinkers are affected by this which is unfortunate. There is good content coming out of Russia that is anti war and targets the Russian population. These people who are making content that isn’t supportive of an autocratic invasion and trying to expand the minds of the population are now being punished as well.

Russia is blocking all of meta now except WhatsApp lol

The more I’m seeing this war unfold the more I’m seeing what a logistical disaster and clown show this is on the Russian side. I do wonder what would or could have occurred (hypothetically) if a younger Putin was ruling Russia. I don’t think he would have invaded. I get the sense Putin is getting old and there is just something incredibly dangerous about a man reaching the age of “I’ve had enough, I don’t give a fuck anymore.” This is just very much unlike Putin. He had a reputation for being a sort of cautious and strategic mastermind. This is very much a legacy play now for him I think as well where he’s sort of painted himself into a corner. I wonder if he remotely envisioned what’s going on as a possibility before invading or he found himself with his pants down on accident.

This less about understanding Putin and is now 5 days old but it gives a decent rundown of the more micro logistics of the battle itself and why it’s been a disaster for Russia so far. Hope they do a new one soon.

If we were to take a really broad sort of overarching geographic meta perspective on this I think people will notice that a lot of this comes down to the fact that Russia is both a)geographically very vulnerable to western forces, where they can easily roll into the steppe. And b) Russia’s level of development is in contradiction / vindication of what lies west to them. Countries around them democratizing directly threatens the overall societal structure of Russia. So of course Russia wants some control over these neighboring states. This conflict very much boils down to a clash of stages. Orange center to the west, blue center to the east.

Eh, again I think this soft power argument does have some truth but it’s somewhat overblown cause Russia definitely had some cards of their own. Russia could of played to their strengths and avoided a lot of this if they focused fully on getting Europe hooked on Russian gas. Finish Nordstream 2. Putin coulda sat in his mansion and watched Europe guzzle away and further dismantle their nuclear and coal power plants. Green initiatives were pushed there which were kinda built in the EU around getting energy from Russia. In a way this was half done but I think some imperialist intentions are at play here. I’m not sure I entirely buy the argument Russia woulda been a non aggressor if NATO didn’t expand.

If Russia wasn’t a corrupt security concern for all the smaller countries around it that willfully and freely joined NATO for their own protection none of this would have happened. It cuts both ways. The thing is the whole “Russia wouldn’t have invaded if NATO...” was kinda vindicated when Putin set up a narrative in his 45 minute speech where he basically wanted to rebuild the Russian empire, not even the Soviet Union. So whose to say they wouldn’t eventually have had imperialist intentions some 30 odd years later after the Soviet Union and hypothetically, NATO, ended in lockstep.

It’s hard to really tell that. He’s ruthless for sure but I don’t think he needs to be “pathologised.” Any dictator in an authoritarian society will come off like a psycho to outside eyes m. If you’re part of the mafia you will have to grow some very thick skin. Examining his overall development is bette to understand him than looking for conventional mental disorders to label him with. I’ve listed some reasons but I think he’s feeling older and some physiological changes have taken place in him. He’s isolated a ton these days. I could easily see his survival fears and his resentment of the west growing out of proportion during this time. He has no one to counter or challenge him when he creeps towards stuff like this.

If you’re going to start something, finish it

Careful with James. He’s a good dude that a lot of guys can learn from but his number scale rating is kinda dopey and something he needs to let go of. You will never reach 10 statue in your own eyes. You will always feel you have to improve something about yourself if you are still even watching videos on pick up. I also agree that you won’t find a “perfect” match. You can become conscious enough as to understand why relationships will always take some work and why there is friction when there is polarity. I would say if you have time though to play the field that it is good to date around and be in a number of relationships to get an idea of what works for you and what doesn’t. You won’t find this perfect dream person but you can find someone you are able to relate to easier and better with than others. Be careful about having your prayers answered though lol, what’s that about how answered prayers are more tragic than unanswered? You might find this “compatible” partner boring and passionless. I have no clue what I’m saying lol

The only personal problem I have with porn is my obvious double standard. I love porn, but would I date or marry a woman that did porn. Probably not. So I feel this inner contradiction. I’ll continue to watch though. I have other stuff to think about.

I’m leaving Russia next week. I’m quite devastated this is happening. Ive been panicked sometimes and a bit scared but mostly sad. I am sort of emotionally overwhelmed also and can’t even process all this. I’m feeling all sorts of things. I do know I’ll get through this because I’m strong and capable and lovable as well. Probably the craziest last couple weeks, even more than when covid hit.

Putin is everyone’s conservative grandpa if they were molded by corruption and brutality for decades and had to run a mafia state. Putin has also isolated himself since COVID. He’s replaced anyone that might challenge him. He also seems to have deteriorated some health wise so physiologically he may be different. This isn’t the charismatic guy that was having memes made about him like 10 years ago. He seems just off and warped by a number of factors. I would not be surprised if he is acting on some deeply held angry impulses that are leading to all these strategic blunders. To simply hand wave criticisms of him as pro western subjective bias would be a half disagreement from me. Yes, we’ve been through the discussion before that Russia does have some genuine security concerns. One man’s deteriorating state while in a position power absolutely can lead to some really negative rippling consequences.

This has actually been a pretty big strategic catastrophe and huge blunder in many ways for Russia. Russia spoke for a long time about having some big bad army and then look at how much trouble they are having and how much supplies they have lost. Basically all they have is Nukes. Their army is kinda a joke and it proves a clear mind and a will to fight is more important than expensive gear. I think all their showing off with their army over the years has largely been posturing to compensate for their geographic and economic weaknesses. I think if Ukraine can keep up the resistance for another 9 days Russia may be in a position where they won’t be able to continue this. They won’t have lost land themselves or be exposed to any advancements from Ukraine but they will have failed to topple the government and military. Ukraine could get a stalemate here which would be fucking crazy.

I’m in Russia. Leaving it next week with my girlfriend. Don’t know when we will be back but we are set to live abroad for years so we will be fine. Hope things calm back down soon.

Google the prime minister of Finland, also Estonia. Beautiful women. They don’t strike me as particularly ruthless or tough either. I think depending on the development of a country determines what leader arise. A tough guy like Putin would not be elected in a country like Finland where they value more social empathy and holistic wellbeing for all. The less developed a country is the more ruthless the leader. Countries like Finland are some of the most psychologically and holistically developed countries in the world. I’m not talking solely material/economics here but that is one factor.