Lyubov

I am and I prefer younger women because they have positives to them and give me as a man what I want from a woman, even though we are gaslit often by women why it’s wrong for us to want youth, beauty and low body count. It sounds mean but it’s hard for me to conceptualize this mating strategy as anything other than settling down with a more passive guy who doesn’t stand up for his interests and needs and desires. I mean, I think the red pill teaching of women basically going after beta male type guys after they’ve slept around is somewhat accurate but also framed unfairly harshly and is not entirely accurate either. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with this either. You can settle down with anyone and if you’re happy that’s fine, life isn’t about winning at mating. But to me from my experience and what I understand about women and their psychology, most women who are quite feminine and quite beautiful do not go after guys that want them more, they will even pick a guy they are unbelievably attracted to as well and create a narrative in their mind how he’s winning and above her or has something only she can get from him. Women want to feel like winners and they got the best guy, not feel like they are the best and their man is a replaceable simp. Men want to feel like they got a girl that is theirs and only theirs.

The man should be more into you than you are into him in the initial phases of courtship I almost never see or hear of women that feel this way about a man. Women date up, men date down. In theory this is good advice but I never see women who actually screen like this and it’s actually a turn off for women if they don’t see their man as borderline out of her league (him above her).

I'm not excusing men mistreating women and I do agree it is wrong to not be conscientious of your partner. I'm just calling attention to a very counter intuitive dynamic that is seems to be a part of sex and why this dynamic seems to be so regularly overlooked or ignored. The same force that makes a women want a man is the same force that makes a woman feel used or assaulted by a man, and this dynamic isn't entirely governed by reason. I am not hand waving away men not thinking of others to the great expense of their partner. I think we all can allow ourselves to be kinder.

I think you can challenge them, but I think it's more important in understanding why you chose them in the first place. You aren't a victim to your beliefs. You are choosing your beliefs, maybe out of a lack of perspective, but you are still choosing them. Looking through them all the time. Just really understand what they are, what they say, what you believe. Question them lovingly. Nothing has to be forced. Why do you believe about yourself and why do you believe it? What are the beliefs that are causing you pain and why do you believe they are true? If you came to me and told me you lack value or aren't good enough. I would ask you why you believe you aren't good enough. Genuinely explain to me how you can be not good enough? What makes that even true??? I do not believe it's possible to be not good enough because I have yet to find a shred of evidence that actually makes that true.

Wouldn't you like to find a shortcut that actually works? You don't believe those exist? It can appear that way if you are running on faulty knowledge or methods. It's like trying to build your house on the wrong foundation for so long that you start to believe X or Y isn't possible but it's not that there isn't another way which exists which solves your issues for good, and is actually as easy as I am saying it is, it's that you're still looking through the same belief system that doesn't work in some way. Just be open to the idea there is a shortcut and it is actually this easy and has been all long. My standard of a therapist is someone who can lead someone to their inner greatness and the unity of reality because that is exactly what a highly developed spiritually aware therapist does. There's just so few of them and most people teaching spirituality have very half baked methods that don't actually work for most people, or bizarre esoteric woo woo teachings which only work for a select few that are seeking. I agree that trips and meditation retreats don't usually resolve inner issues because these methods and actions aren't designed to fully understand and resolve inner issues. I don't believe it's natural to persist in painful emotions. It is a choice that if you are to become aware of why you are choosing to do it, you can choose otherwise and let go and experience the love that is here. Most people just have a number of beliefs in their way from seeing this and experiencing the love that is always here, always now. It is not possible to experience the love if you have created a belief for yourself that says "I am unlovable because ______." I don't believe changing them is in within reach for only a few and I don't think the structure is difficult to change. Those are beliefs as well created to protect the structure, usually out of frustration from not knowing how. This is why so few therapists aren't actually able to lead their clients to resolution or awakening. They don't understand.

Therapy helps a ton but there’s a stage you reach when you’re ready to leave talk therapy and resolve your issues from truth within. There is almost a sort of conundrum most people run into in therapy. They never resolve issues they have. They go to therapy because they are in emotional pain. Most therapists and people don’t understand emotions are self generated, they have very nuanced stories for emotions and the mind. You create them through your beliefs. You aren’t conscious to how but you do it. They are created by beliefs. Most therapists sort of discuss the emotions and stories and start to chip away at the beliefs by doing this but the issue is you haven’t glimpsed at what is true and integrated that into your belief system. So they are sort of running on faulty methods that don’t resolve the core issues. You are only going to therapy because you believe you have a problem, and all mental problems always culminate in a belief system that denies or clouds one’s own inner greatness. Usually some belief at the core that does like “I’m bad, I’m not good enough, I’m not lovable, I’m not capable, my life is lacking.” Something like this. If you can work with a therapist that is conscious that emotions are self generated by belief and entirely your responsibility and they are aware of the inherent spiritual value within, call it being god if you want, then they can lead you back to wholeness and give you skills to constantly reapply this way to your life whenever challenges arise. If you are just talking about feelings and your therapist is not aware of the spirit within being closed by false beliefs, then you will stay stuck. Some can be aware of this but not have a well developed method to lead you back to oneness. https://youtube.com/@wuweiwisdom?si=F9_J2Xcl8hJ8a5Ib Check out this channel. This guy is a therapist and Taoist monk and the best therapist I’ve ever spoken to and probably one of the best on the entire planet. Such a person would never be recognized by modern academia and mental health institutions because he’s just too advanced for them. His method isn’t about sitting in therapy for months or years at a time but giving you a few sessions which resolve all your inner issues so you no longer need a therapist and can do self inquiry on your own. He basically teaches you how to do self inquiry without all the woo woo and poor developed teachings so you can awaken even if you aren’t intentionally on a spiritual path.

This is what that poster meant earlier in the thread. Date rape is very common and should be called something else or not compared to violent assaults. 99% of rapes aren’t just guys running around attacking and assaulting women everywhere. Something will start out consensual and then the guy will be pushy and in a very narrow masculine / dominating frame and the woman will feel rushed cause women get turned off when they feel easy. I wonder why this topic is so highly contested and almost like walking on egg shells? Why is there this inherent dynamic present in sex? It’s because there is a baked in element of masculine overcoming and dominating the feminine when it comes to sex. Forcing its will on the feminine. Post modern liberal mind doesn’t like to recognize stuff like this and tries to hush it up. So in this sense I wouldn’t call Russel Brand some violent rapist but yeah he definitely is corrupted and wasn’t conscientious enough to look after his partners when having sex. It’s a fine line between being conscientious and looking after how a woman feels vs taking what you want which paradoxically is what turns women on. We should be treating date rape and violent rapes as separate things, have different words for them and discuss them differently because roping them all together in a way does sort of makes it difficult to have an honest discussion on what sex is, what turns people on, why sex is the way it is and why dynamics are the way they are. Liberals want to impose their ideals onto the dynamics of reality. And there are liberals who would see so closed minded and “triggered” by my post here they would say “why are you excusing rape.” This whole way of discussing things will not make sex more conscious for humans, its shined some light on some issues but we need to inquire further and stop imposing ideals on these dynamics.

I watched this entire video and it was incredibly interesting. I definitely think he’s right about his theory. Their language and world view does not allow for a sense of time.

Having good game and being a celebrity doesn’t automatically remove the obstacles when it comes to sex. He probably peaked a ton of attention for being a celebrity but then he’s on a date with a girl who is maybe not in the mood, or he treats her like she’s easy because he has a big ego and then gets a no. Celebrity makes getting sex easier but it doesn’t turn it into an automatic all you can eat buffet. Look how many celebrities got rape charges.

From Claude

I'm 20 minutes in and this is incredibly interesting. Language shapes reality.

Boys are no longer coddled by society when they grow up, much less so compared to women who get help from others much easier. Women deal with many of the same cold truths but when faced with hardship they tend to be supported more through it.

The thing is though people try to stay on just one side of this duality and in doing so turn it into a pendulum at their expense, swinging radically from one side to the other. Masculinity / femininity are fluid qualities not absolutes about how one must live moment to moment in order to live good. It's not really possible to live aligned with truth from my experience if you try to live just as a totally feminine woman or a totally masculine man. In real life you have to find a balance of both and be able to wear both hats at times, it's like a dance or juggling, there's a rhythm to it in relationships. I've found the feminine values truth just as much as masculinity does. Men will not understand how women communicate and also lack experience in life, impose their expectations for how things should work, so they see women as less honest. I don't believe that to be true. Expecting someone else to see the world the same way as you and communicate in the same way as you is a form of self deception and not aligned with truth itself.

It’s because many women have been sold a dream where they believe a man will come and save them and relieve them of responsibilities. But this in general does not lead to a sustainable life and it also falls apart when you meet reality and you have all sorts of considerations like money, life path and how to raise kids. It’s a slippery slope to hand wave this away. It’s the girl equivalent of “boys will be boys” when women don’t want to be responsible, just like how men don’t want to be responsible for their destructive behavior, women don’t want to be for their careless behavior. The guy in the video does make some good points but I’d probably use different language to describe the points he made.

Not exactly