Myioko
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Posts posted by Myioko
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This looks very 'grown up' art style in a way. It would have bored me as a kid. But I do like the spacing of it.
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(LAST SONG COMPILATION) I found my ipod after loosing it a few months ago, it was underneath my bed and I went to recharge it. The recharging part is extremely iffy, I've thought at times that it's a goner, but this time around it worked out.
Not an ipod song, I also saw that this song came out a day ago, its very catchy. I wish the main chorus was less glossy/electronic sounding as usual though and more natural.
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Fall and Winter
Powering through this, I can't stop now. Fall blurred into winter, the leaves didn't completely fall until early early December. There was a lot of repetitive comfort-listening music as a coping mechanism, and in the month of November I listened to an absurd amount of Grimes on repeat - I think it was because her music sounds like its from a fantasy world, there's something not 'real' about it, it was an easy escape.
I listened to this song on repeat for a week
Especially this one not feeling real, its all bright colors and poppy music.
Jeez all of these songs are so melancholy!! No wonder I want a change of music now and am tired of it. (No offense to Moses Sumney, he's still great)
This is upbeat though
The two songs below: 'Walking at night through the cold' music
(I found this song posted by LastThursday) (Should I tag, is that pointless?? Is it weird not to mention where I found these songs? Is it weird not to tag? I dunnooo)
(I found this song posted by Modmyth, or at least through his other music)
I listened to this during finals week in December, haha. There was something comforting about a pop singer telling you that your successful as your trying to hold it together...
And lastly I re-found this song through my sisters playlist
YES DONE
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Late summer: *cue the moody music with the occasional upbeat song*
Okay, these bottom two: I don't remember exactly when I listened to them
What is love?! Baby don't hurt me --:
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Summer 2021
Now things get easier! Because I had a very specific mood then. So specific that I'll have to split it into two, 'early summer' and 'late summer'
Early summer:
Maximized chaos
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Early winter/Spring 2021
....(I have spring 2021 amnesia! Did I even listen to music then...? I'll try my best and be imperfect in my guessing.) Oh I know why, it's because summer feels like half the year to me, it takes up a lot of time.
This is spring 2020 flashbacks to me, but I listened to it a lot a year later. 'Kitty'sss!'
It also helps me remember what I was listening to by trying to remember what I was drawing at the time. These along with a lot of classical music and soundtracks.
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Actually I have been in the mood to write, in a way, it's just that I don't feel like I have time to write. It's easy to spread myself too thin because I always have 20 things I'd like to do on a daily basis. I feel this ongoing sense of guilt on the days that I feel irresponsible. I try to balance out being practical and feeling like I don't need many stuff or things to do to keep myself satisfied, along with the feeling that I do need buckets and buckets of hobbies and time and space to feel fulfilled. Yet on the bright side, I haven't had any signs of (mostly internet) addiction and
distractionI've had less distraction in the past few months. It's my 'lunch break' so here goes, I'll organize my 2021 playlist that I keep on spotify. It's a balance of songs that emotionally struck out to me, and songs that I played on repeat and got generated into the 'spotify 2021' playlist that people got. -
I haven't been in the mood to write. There's something about unprocessed thoughts and ideas that make me speechless and tired. I hope/plan to be productive soon, now that my 'break' is coming to an end! I hope I don't have covid, a couple people I know have tested positive for it today.
I want my time and process to feel like raindrops
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Videos I've watched this week. Okay I think thats enough video spamming.
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Someone showed me this video last night, it was a well spent 52 minutes and I was ooing and ahing at the end, so satisfying. I liked his editing style and snippets too.
To watch later:
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This is now also a music-tracker journal, no cares anymore about being aesthetically pleasing. 2022: NEW MUSIC!
I'm judging this anime on it's looks and music so it's on my 'to watch in the future' radar
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On 1/3/2022 at 0:15 AM, modmyth said:I really wish I could try it first before I spent that much on pens that I didn't like! rOtring in general is just really expensive. It wouldn't have occurred to me to spend anywhere from 40-80+CAD on a mechanical pencil. Like to me, a pencil is just a pencil, but for the ----perfect pen----? Maybe.
It's too bad they can't be tested out before hand! And it seems that Blick Art is just a US company, which is where they seem to be sold at. That much for the perfect pen? Maybe if it lasted 10 years...
I should keep track how many pens I burn through and keep track with the prices...like, 8 USD for each pen adds up. I have a few re-fill pens though that have been working pretty nicely so far.
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(Warning for any readers out there who want to just read something lighthearted, I'm going to be talking on the topic of death for a little bit)
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The first interaction (I don't know what word to use?) and contemplation I had of death was when I was 15, when one of my school friends/acquaintance had died, she was only 16. She was in this school theater play that I was in as well, we had a few partnered up dancing scenes together and we would chat together off stage sometimes, but I didn't know her to well. But when she died...ohh boy was I heartbroken. (And I wonder if I'd have that sort of innocent level of heartbrokenness now, if someone I knew but not knew knew died.) She died a few days/a week before the final play performance so there was a real hecticness and loss/tragedy in the air, she was well liked and popular with everyone, so the mood was a very uniquely sad-bonding one.
She went to these sand dunes, the same ones that I grew up going to many times to play with my siblings and we would draw things in the sand and dig holes. She dug a hole and suffocated in it though, I've read that it doesn't take much collapsed sand at all to be heavy enough to suffocate. What's awful thinking back on it though, is how a few people were like...'God is good, he wouldn't have let her suffer and must have taken her up to heaven right away.' and me half believing that. When I got the news that she died I was shocked for a while before crying, then a few hours later I went down to my dad to tell him, and my parents reactions were like: 'Whats going on?! Is your blood sugar low, why are you shaking?!' and the dinner table conversation was very silent, nobody knew what to say to me.
Anyways, I avoided going to the sand dunes after that and declined going whenever asked, it was 10 years ago since I've been, so today I felt like going there to see if I would feel anything or at least get over my avoidance of going there. Y'know, the typical fun Sunday afternoon. And I felt...like I was just walking down regular paths of sand. It was a nice clear day, nice weather, pretty plants and rocks. I got a thorn in my foot as I walked barefoot which brought back memories but that was about it. Then after sitting there for a while I drove to another hiking spot, found a really picturesque spot of an iced puddle/pond reflecting the sky against all the red rock, (no pictures since my phone had died.) ...I guess had assumed I would feel something more? It was very anti-climatic. It's been too long I guess, I was more preoccupied with looking at the scenery and just enjoying regular hiking.
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Getting back into drawing. I'm testing out some new markers: They bleed through so I have to put a ripped out page buffer on either side, and then I'll draw over and change around with the other sided bled through shapes by drawing over them and cleaning them up..if it's a face, I can change the expression or look or costume of the face, or change the colors with more forgiving markers and pencil. All the drawing and writing is 'stream of consciousness' art-journal-occasional-dream journal, so any words written down on it aren't too well thought out or planned. The printed out pictures add room for scattered visual ideas and practice for fun. Because of this scattered-ness, I'm drawing and bouncing all over the first half of the book at once, with no particular direction, and drawings and writing are slowly stacking up on each other. Occasionally some drawings and writing ends up being personal so theres no way I'd ever casually let someone flip through this particular sketchbook, half of it is more just a regular journal with added drawings than a sketchbook.
These last two are basically the same composition, I've noticed
The empty white spot can be left for writing
This is what a half-finished page looks like, quickly laying down blocks of shapes
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1 hour ago, modmyth said:I think a huge thing is that I got tired of having so many of my skirts/ pants cinched at the waist. With the red maxi skirt I still have; I have to wear a belt with it.
Oh, finding skirts, pants, even dresses with the right waist is so difficult. Some just look awkwardly scrunched. I've never had much luck finding a belt that looks good or fits comfortably.
1 hour ago, modmyth said:Is that the pen you got? I know that some pens can get REALLY expensive (I guess it would be considered like a luxury product), but there are also some very excellent mid-range and cheaper pens.
Just from reading reviews out there, there does seem to be many cheaper ranged pens that work well out there. I did receive that pen specifically, I looked it up and all around it's priced as $37, which does seem to be on the somewhat expensive end but not extremely pricy comparing it to others. So hopefully it works well and lasts very long
There's a lot of beautiful wooden pens I've seen out there too on etsy
Here are some cheap ones from amazon, and it has good reviews too
1 hour ago, modmyth said:I've had the opportunity to see at least a couple of well-known manuscripts in person in museums growing up (mostly in Germany/ France); pictures don't really do it justice. Especially where there is detailing with the gold leaf.
That sounds amazing! Yeah I bet, photos can't capture metallic colors or size and detail.
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11 hours ago, modmyth said:These visuals were so fun and relaxing to scroll through!
I'm glad to hear!!
Do you feel like wearing skirts is just really not your style? Or impractical? I was borderline on and off feelinged about them for years, as with makeup. I was always wondering, do I just like it stylistically/visually, or did I actually like to wear it?
And that's a really beautiful looking book, I looked up some of the images that are in it. I've been getting more interested in looking at illuminated manuscripts myself as of lately and looking at the different styles of it. Also for Christmas I received a fountain pen and I'm very excited to try it out, and want to use some of those pictures as inspiration:
For the picture the link that it sent to said it was 'Incipit to the Gospel of Matthew': That brings up a lot of photos but it takes a while to find that same one. I also found someones writing on it, I like how they sectioned out tiny parts of the painting to notice, especially the cats:
http://employees.oneonta.edu/farberas/arth/arth212/book_of_kells.html
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Orange Appreciation Post/Apology Letter To Orange
I've always said orange was my least favorite color...I don't know what my least favorite color is now but I take it all back!!
Sure, orange is most likely to look ugly in most shades, (and is the color I associate with 'insanity' whatever that may be,) but that is part of its elusive beauty in the same way that green is. I always said I loathed it, but nothing beats looking at a beautiful sunset or a gnarled, twisted hideous carrot that looks as if it were a mandrake with 7 too many limbs. I see now that blue is orange's best friend and it would be wrong to always keep the two apart, as cliche and tiresome as that is. I now tolerate orange and even admire it at times, there, I said it. ((i still prefer yellow/gold compared to orange though.))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8KQmps-Sog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPE0Hq5yGsQ&list=PLeFVx0Nj3gr7HAzmjnmINu8Wj922AGOnr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Xl-KGr2Jk&list=PLeFVx0Nj3gr7HAzmjnmINu8Wj922AGOnr&index=12
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Etsy Window Shopping - Linen clothing
Here are some accumulated saved items I have liked on etsy from the past few months.
I really love this top, both color and the shape. (I love this color but I don't own much in dark forest green.) The only problem it would have with me is I don't have a flat chest like the model does
https://www.etsy.com/shop/amalkadesign
https://www.etsy.com/shop/LinenLifeStore
Simple wintery skirt - I would never get a red one because my mom's favorite church skirt is a red floral velvet skirt so I can't disconnect that thought
https://www.etsy.com/shop/DucksnFoxes?section_id=33996542
https://www.etsy.com/shop/Linennaive
It has half a star missing from the reviews which is a bit iffy
Too dark/neutral color for my liking, but I like the shape
Note to self: NEVER BUY SKIRT/DRESSES WITHOUT POCKETS as pretty or tempting as some of them can be. I can't easily wear ones without them anyways because of my pump being always attached to me.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/linenlineshop
Shape not color
So I've bought a few things from this shop a few years ago and really like it, but now I'm thinking that some of the prices are suspiciously low. I have a couple of blue and brown skirt-pants from them, and a bright red jacket. I really like this rusty brown colored skirt.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/PrivateTailor?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=1094890099
https://www.etsy.com/shop/Thebesttailor
Spontaneous find: If I weren't vegan and if wool wasn't so scratchy I would be interested in this
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Winters walks
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Internet photo gathering, Misc
...Yum?
o-o .-. '-'
The ultimate flowery Slytherin room!
cat
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Internet photo gathering, Fashion
I'll have to clean out and minimize my wardrobe soon before I run out of time to do that again. For Christmas I got a gift card for a thrift store. If I buy a couple more clothing items I'll have to think carefully what I want to get and reevaluate what I find pretty. I've been actually liking velvet lately, but I lost my velvet winter skirt last year
I like but don't wear much: Lace, puffy long or open wide sleeves, layered clothing, patterned loose semi-formal jackets (I only own a couple of sweaters), vaguely blue, red and green colors, and I still adore cloaks/capes.
I want to only get clothing used, from small online business, or learn how to make it myself.
And only occasionally buy things that I love.And selectively buy things that I love only, to the best of my ability. (And remember that less is more, I don't need more clothes.)Patterned shirt? I don't own any, it's hard to find ones that I like.
Do I like velvet as a shirt..? Yes or no or yes? I'm tiptoeing in dangerous 'couch' looking materials here:
(looking at the jacket)
Or just, like, casually walking around in a star cloak (which I wouldn't do, not in this style.)
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90s style - I don't wear much brown anymore, now that my hair isn't brown.
Small embroidered details
Someday if I live somewhere colder I'll get brown boots, but it's a struggle to find something not-leather. I think I'm luke-warm feelinged about buying used leather items and they're sturdier anyways, but it's a hard no for new leather items for me.
I have a few long skirts and a medium lengthen checkered skirt, but not any sweaters in that texture/shape. I don't think beige is my color either anymore, but I like it on others. I usually end up wearing a long skirt or loose casual pants and a shirt of choice, I'm pretty lazy when it comes to putting together nice outfits realistically. So finding skirts/pants and shirts that go together simply and well together without effort is ideal.
I say I don't wear brown, but I'd wear something like this
I've always found Indian fashion very beautiful, the vibrant colors are interesting to me as someone who shys away towards neutral toned colors. If I take bits and pieces of inspiration from other cultures, it would have to be that: Tiny bits and pieces like a color here, a pattern there, a shape or outline, and simply reading and being curious about the fashion history.
(red and green)
And then my most 'ultra-basic-almost-boring' pants would be something like this, but I've gotten rid of my past black jeans since they didn't fit quite right.
I wear skirt-pants like this often though. Not in this color, but I'd like to get one in a similar color!
Suddenly remembering that time a painting TA walked into the room with these exact same styled pants (she looked and dressed as if she were a model each day) and I thought she was a student and I shyly said 'I like your pants!! - Thats my second favorite color.' Saying it was my 2nd fav color to her was probably unnecessary
Bare basics vintage style. I like cuffed jeans but I also like most of my calves to be covered
Skirt + tshirt but without the bulky shoes and hat
Don't know if I could pull that off
Style icon!
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This is basically becoming a music-memory journal? --
All throughout last night I wove in and out of consciousness in fevered, restless sleep. The fever went away later this morning.
So I spend all the time listening to music:
I clicked on this song based purely off of the album aesthetics. She looks like an electric vampire ghost.
I listened to 'Paradigmes' and 'Cool Colorado' on repeat, and half the night I listened to La Femme overall.
And I listened to this later in the morning when I really did need to wake up. It came out 8 years ago and in a year it really will match up to the name
I had never heard this David Bowie song before
I've only listened to a few Boards of Canada songs before, I listened to this a few times
When I was feeling hyper-but-exhausted, I internally danced to this song but I was outt of it
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Stories, they're meaningless. Meaningless meaning-makers that generate momentum that might make you feel something! Mmmm.
They poke and prod at you to make you feel something. Connection!
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I fell asleep for an hour or more, my throat being very sore, my eyes heavy and tired, the feeling of oncoming feverish symptoms.
I sank into instant dreams and sounds, my first thought being: There it is again, I'm imagining all sounds being in the upper right corner of my head. If I could point a finger placeholder to where the sounds originate, it would be my upper right nose bridge right below my eye. (I just looked up in my past dream journals for that time I wrote about experiencing this - but I couldn't find it. If top right wasn't the case in what I wrote earlier, then I guess I've proved myself wrong and that's perfectly fine.) I saw a dark blue skinned woman with 6 arms, her hair a radiant woven braided magenta, her many eyes scattered across her face, an eye on each palm of the hand. Here, take an eye. There's plenty to share. She said. Then, I was back on the forum, I was writing a reply to @Loba s comment about synesthesia but I wrote an altered answer. What was it again? It was something about combined senses. It 'made sense' in the dream. Hmm. Then my dream formed into me going on a car ride in a vintage 60s car, and I was trying to change the song I was listening to. It was a beatles song, but imaginary. It wouldn't change. I felt it, how it used to be the song I listened to when I was young, and now I'm 24. 'You'll listen to this song 'x' amount of times before you die.' My dream told me. My dream visuals changed, standing around my family, grandparents and an imaginary dead grandmother, she was black and white like the moon (moon vibe dead grandmother, it made sense.) my parents talking about how happy they ended up being to send imaginary grandmother off to an elders home. My dream told me: 'Here is a graph of how much longer you have to live. Your life is a third of the way over.' I felt a sense of loss. Am I afraid of dying? Am I afraid of not living?
A question holds more answers than an answer holding more questions, I thought as I woke up. Maybe that's nonsense.
in Self-Actualization Journals
Posted · Edited by Myioko
Looking at these older images reminds me...I promised to write a birthday letter to a
115(105!!) year old lady by today! I nearly forgot. What to write, what to write...I have the letter supplies, I was told that she likes funny things and cats. She was born so long ago...