Myioko

Reocurring theme: Naked women (this was a friends Christmas present last year)

@modmyth Yup! Organizing papers is such a challenge (I should organize my computer files for the first time in..ever) Ooh well I do love Minoan pottery. I do think that it's pretty inevitable to be completely original (and usually pretty unnecessary too.) Sometimes I think I'm original with something and then I see a specific image from 5 years ago and connect the dots, that my mind somehow remembered eerily accurately. And intriguing is a good word! (Thanks) At first I was thinking of translating it into stories and having multiple languages and clues, with a language translation paper, but then I realized I probably don't have time for that at all and I need to sort out my priorities lol. So I'm teetertotering between the two but leaning more towards just having the languages be unreadable or graphs, and let the pictures speak for themselves. Also creating actual languages isn't my strong point. In that calligraphy class? I don't know, around the average time it took to take a class (sorry for the vague answer) Maybe like 4 hours a week. Thank youu. At least a consistent handwriting feels more natural and 'you', yeah? (My handwriting changed a lot from 12-16 years old, but not a lot. Usually it was just me trying for a few pages to draw more neat, or to draw more sideways, and that was it.) Oh yeah, what's up with getting older and handwriting getting sloppier? I'll be interested to see if I can read my own handwriting when I'm 70. They kept pushing back the release date! I watched a short spoiler free movie review of it 20 minutes ago and he at least thought it was a great movie, for such an info packed book. I'll keep that in mind, that the first 3 books are good. I wouldn't want to be too disappointed by taking the time to read the 4th. I wonder if Paul grows up to be more villainous/morally grey character, he has some young-intense-ambitious-to smart for his own good-character personality traits going on.

Some very November moods I'm sculpting one of these gargoyles next week and I'm verrry excited. Pray to the alien gods

Drawing Dump / Going through my iphone photos And I know this is very self centered of me, but I find it therapeutic to put images together: in boxes, in books, to print out, whatever I'm in the mood for. Usually other art, but sometimes photographs, and sometimes my own art. I like the yellow tone, the overall shapes and the heart roots. ...well then! (aw thats an adorable creature at the bottom left) oi i remember this I just remember that I got a b- on this assignment

Will it be good? The trailer is so pretty/inspiring.

DIABETES PROBLEMS/VENTING: When I brush my teeth and my blood sugar becomes instantly low and I need to eat something (this happens like twice a week. This is happening to me right now and I don't. Want. To fucking. eat.) When it's Christmas morning and I've suddenly run out of insulin and feel like I'm going to die, orr I could go to the emergency room and pay 900 dollars for a single bottle of insulin (that happened to me a few years ago and I'm still feeling salty about it) Waking up in the middle of the night a couple of times with wild roller coaster numbers, having low night blood sugar and becoming an absolute food monster and tearing through the kitchen in the dead of night to find something to eat and devour When my blood glucose monitor device says 'ERROR - check again in 8 hours'. wtf?!!? I can't know my blood sugar numbers for 8 hours? I need backup here, this isn't going to do at all. My diabetes glucose monitor screeching at me loudly many times each day. Soon I'm going to find a different one to use in November, I'll try. And it being super loud in class and everyone getting startled and looking at me, and me fumbling in my pockets to stop it's beeping Feeling grumpy and brain fog when my blood sugar is high, which is about a fifth of my life When I suddenly feel hungry and so I give myself insulin in order to eat food in 20 minutes to not be hungry. And then realize that my hunger is false hunger and really my blood sugar was low which gave my hunger, but I was too foolish to check my blood sugar until after I've given myself insulin and it's too late When a prescription or medical device or insulin breaks, and I've run out, so I go to the pharmacy but they tell me my prescription doesn't renew for another week or so, or that I'm out. This is the story of my life. I really just need to have a months supply of backup or extra of literally everything, but it's hard to do that --- There isn't much point in venting though because it's just an inevitable reoccurring daily cycle, and my grumpiness continues for a fraction of my day ~~~LEAVE ME ALONE BIOLOGY AND INADEQUATE SUGAR IN MY BLOOD~~~

How is the new Dune movie, I wonder? I got really excited for it when watching the movie trailer last year. I still need to finish reading the book though. I read the first half of it twice. I'm scared of reading it 'wrong' or not enjoyably because it's really good but I haven't been in a good reading mood this year.

Before accidentally falling asleep for 3 hours, I was reading this old magazine/pamphlet that I had bought off of ebay, it's an LDS church young womens magazine book from 1918. I was just curious to see what it would have in it and it wasn't expensive to buy. I forgot how big that year was, with the wars going on (world war 1 ending that year, I think?) And I think the spanish flu, I don't know much about the things going in then. But those were talked about a lot in in it. The writing style was mostly casual and in the same speaking tone as testimony meetings and church speeches, not much different than it is today, besides the different political/war tone. There was also this section that seemed surprisingly liberal/democratic towards women, for being written over 100 years ago. But then it mentioned God and the importance of having large families lol. But I still feel like LDS/Mormon women may have had it better back then compared to some women, or decent, because the church still places an emphasis on women getting an education, being treated kindly, and have women's groups to socialize in/be well connected in. (Just guessing though.) When I was in the church I had always gotten the sense that women were treated even better than the men because of all of the expectations being placed on young men, and I also got the sense that people viewed women having a more natural sense of spirituality/emotions, so emotions didn't seem too taboo, in a more shallow way. (emotions were talked with in church but there wasn't any deep psychological understanding of them either, people were behind on the times there.) (But yes I had the view that guys had it harder: Having to go on a mission instead of choosing to go on a mission, having extra roles and duties in the church. Which could be seen as sexist. But it still made my life easier, heh.) I saw this too. Was this because of scriptures saying to eat less meat, or because of the war efforts back then to preserve and grow your own food, or both? Mormons in general eat a lot of meat and pretty much ignore that part of the Word of Wisdom, yet still don't drink hot drinks such as coffee and tea. I wonder how rare it is to find a vegetarian/vegan Mormon And then a hymn for the soldiers There was also the talk of 'Young women in this time have never before faced such trials and temptations in living in these current times.' This was the exact same thing being told when I was a teenager, things have been rapidly changing for over 100 years now, so that hasn't changed.

I got this 'BA D' test result the other day and as cliche as it is this pretty accurately represents how I feel about university this semester lol. I'll write about this later today.

Calligraphy practice #2 My neatness in writing started to slip away just half way through the page due to impatience. I've also run into a very obvious problem: I'm left handed and that makes it very awkward to write from left to right, without smearing the ink. I started on a second page, this time practicing the Celtic calligraphy alphabet...it looks easier but its MUCH HARDER. The shapes are very specific, whereas the gothic alphabet is more straightforward and the angles are more simple.

@modmyth I thought the same thing, like there were rocks hiding underneath his skin. ..it gets creepier the longer I like at it Oh noo, maybe he was set free afterwards. I read the article, I'm glad there's wikipedia articles for specific past art pieces like that. (I like that second rabbit painting too, with the softer shaped features) Are you thinking of the cartoony rabbits that hold spears/axes and look as if they're at war? --- Same here! I only did it a tiny bit growing up but never actually went so far as to memorize a made up language. It's never too late to start though I remember in elementary school I learned the sign language alphabet with my 2 best friends, so that when we were split into teams at P.E, we could still talk to each other from a far off distance. I'm curious to see what your card game looks like, or what make believe languages would look like if you drew them. I didn't have anything specific in mind before drawing them, I sometimes would get inspiration from the objects in front of me on my window sill (a jewel, a fossil, etc) and I would try to make each language have enough differences from each other, playing around with different shapes. It didn't take long to draw and was much easier (and more satisfying just because of the nice change and instant results) to write out/draw compared with trying to come up with imaginative drawings with compositions, which I always notice the flaws in my own mistakes. The reasoning for coming up with made up languages besides just being super fun, is I plan on making more fantasy art/alternate reality cultures in the future. I took one online calligraphy class in my senior year of high school, when I finished up my credits early and could take a few extra classes. It was mostly self paced and straight forward, it was learning 4 different calligraphy styles (a couple of more modern styles, celtic, gothic) My favorite was gothic and my second favorite was celtic. It was just printing out the sheet and copying the words repeatedly. Because of the shape of the calligraphy pen nibs, it's a lot easier than it looks like, but then again is very hard to get perfect. From far way it's easy to look good but up close you can see all the small mistakes. I had 3 final projects, one of them was an alice in wonderland 'un-birthday' birthday card, which I have no idea where it went. The other was this Gryffindor paper which I ended up being really proud of/happy with. The third one was a quote from the bible about 'waking me up in early the morning is basically a sin.' if I remember right. My hand writing is sloppy too! I sometimes have a hard time even reading back on my hand writing. Have you ever tried changing your handwriting up or is it something you don't try to change? My older sister actively tried changing her handwriting several years ago and I remember it actually working, but I've never bothered trying to change my handwriting too drastically.

Made up fantasy languages! None of them actually mean anything, they were all stream of conscious drawings/writing. I wrote out an english alphabet version of number 15/6, the one copied and inspired by the crystal bismuth. So far I've memorized the made up alphabet A-G I'm trying to come up with a uniform calligraphy fantasy language, one that still is familiar to look at. I'd like it to have 3 different stages of formality. This was my first attempt at using the new calligraphy pen I bought so it's nothing that great The second top row is the only real calligraphy words, the rest were me just fiddling around and them ending up looking wonky. I think if they were overall rounder or more square in shape (the made up ones) they would look more uniform. I do like how a couple of them look like harps, but when I tried making all of the words harp-like, the top right ones, they ended up looking like candy canes so I filled them in. Waking up with it looking like a heavenly UFO or something will take me away The prettiest cloud ever My favorite lighting

Songs I've been listening to today plus the feeling I get put into gifs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9lvTNwdb3U So I was listening to this song the other day before my family came home from their trip, I was playing it out loud as I was doing the dishes (I tend not to listen to music out loud if anyone is around, and I'm rarely alone) and my cat loved the sounds! She sat right next to the phone as it played. Maybe love isn't the right word, but she was drawn to the high pitched sounds like she would with birds or whistling sounds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWAWRfQdZjg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB-tEs2rZzM whoosh

@modmyth Yeah some of his drawings are very expressive/life like for sure I wonder where different artists found animals to draw in the past before photos. Life/memory? Taxidermy? I'm just guessing he was being imaginative with the rhino drawing but perhaps there was also just little reference to draw on. (But the overall shapes of the rhino look accurate) (Now I want to go and find paintings of lions that were made without that person ever seeing a lion before) His pen drawings and detailed pencil drawings themselves vary a lot even within themselves from what I've looked at And this isn't too related but I saw this the other day and it made me laugh (The Great Hercules by Hendrick Goltzius 1581) The gold ink has been working really well! I've used a few different types of gold ink in the past, and this one has been my favorite so far. The other gold inks had either dried or smelled really bad and flammable. There's a bunch of other metallic color options as well in this ink brand. ----

Late night weird painting when I couldn't sleep. My hands were a mess. It was also a struggle because I only had white, black, red, and a tiny bit of muddy colored yellow but hardly much. So shiny I think I'm in love. Trying out something different with painting and calligraphy, which I haven't done since high school. I'm using circle rulers for the first time in my life because why not? I've already practiced circles on my own for so long. For very balanced out things like this, I'd otherwise spend many extra minutes fixing and re adjusting circles without any ruler or guide, and it still wouldn't look perfect. It's surprisingly hard and an eye illusion in thinking I know where the center of a circle is. If I turn the page around, I'll see suddenly that its very off and I'll turn it around a few times to center it. Now I've run out of time and I'm going to go outside to study, play with the dog, jump on the trampoline, study some more. I can't spend that much time in my room because she can't come in my room with me and she has some separation anxiety now that the family is gone, she's used to multiple people coming and going around the house. It's always surprisingly hard and time consuming to take care of extra animals being a single person instead of a family, even the cat who normally just walks around biting my feet now likes attention from me. So a good portion/portions of my day is just going around petting each animal and playing with them.

That sounds pretty good (besides the too much effort/non relaxation journaling like you said) I'm not the best when it comes to try falling asleep, (the best thing that helped for me was raising my moods, not having anxious or excited thoughts at night, not oversleeping, and getting rid of most of my fear of not being able to fall asleep, etc. But it's not like I can exactly control that.) I'll allow myself to have my iphone near me often because I think I've trained my brain to fall asleep listening to audiobooks in the past year, which isn't the best thing to do but I've accepted it at the moment. Or I'll read a book, imagine a story in my head like I'm making up a movie, or walk around/dance to music if I have too much energy.

I'm really sorry your sleep has been bad, I hate it when that happens. Are you the type who has a hard time falling asleep or wakes up too early? (Also have you been getting a bit of exercise and fresh air daily and putting away electronics before you go to bed? Even though those might just scratch the surface of getting better sleep it does tend to help.)

I went to a Scottish festival for an hour during lunch. I liked the bagpipe music and watching the burly large men in kilts chucking heavy things around, and it was sunny and cheerful out. I also appreciate having a few friends who invite me to random things like that, otherwise I don't always have the initiative to look up whats going on in town. (not always very many festivals going on here) I think post covid me is way more interesting in going to out door events like this, or any event that is crowded with people, at least for a limited time. I like the dog watching, looking around at pretty items, and talking to some shop keepers about how they make or sell the stuff. It depends on the place, people, items surrounding or being sold as to whether or not it interests me, bores me or stresses me out. I also happened to dress extra 'fancy/pretty' today and I got an absurd amount of compliments from strangers, even outside of the festival. My hair attracts a lot more attention, when it was a regular color and I dressed down a lot I was practically invisible, the way I wanted it to be. Some of the compliments really did make me smile though. There was this one witchy stall where there was pretty and interesting stuff galore I had to mentally hold hard onto my money and not buy things. I would pick things up and try to remember it in my mind instead of buying it. I havent bought anything for myself in the past 2 months in order to re set my poor spending habits, but this week I did buy 'extra' things such as multiple 5 dollar self help books (for my 'back to basics' journal) and I ate out once. I also did buy one thing from that shop stall, a white frame that is the size of my hand with a picture of Artemis in it. All of the greek gods are assholes or at least very 'human' but Artemis was always my favorite out of them all, with her symbols being the bow and arrow/dagger, woods, deer, not interested in marriage, moon. I like symbolic moon things, and how the moon is symbolically tied to rabbits in China/Asia. dog trying to bite and steal everything I have heh

The Gryffindor common room movie set, the red tapestries are peeking through the walls My old desk Could not find wand-dude but I took a picture of this one

@modmyth Ooh thanks for letting me know who the artist was. Such an old painting/drawing. Was the tapestry very large when you saw it? I wonder how many laborious hours it would take to make a thing like that. (I like the pampered little dog sitting on the cushion. As well as all the wild surrounding animals.) His portraits of people have a balance of being very ugly-pretty, I like it. It all very much reminds me of 'Harry Potter/Gryffindor' because of the medieval influence in the books and movies. When I was 15-18 I had a Gryffindor themed bedroom and had many medieval paintings printed out and put into old looking frames to hang on my wall. I recognized a lot of famous paintings and drawings by him, I never knew he was all the same person. I had this printed on my wall and I painted a wand in his hand with a glowing 'lumos' tip at the end of the wand which I was very proud of The same artist drew this?! I love this one as well as the rabbit. This drawing is in one of my figure drawing books (artist self portrait) Interesting shirt. (Copied from the link:) Dürer was born in 1471, in Nuremberg. "Wolves prowled the city walls. Skeletons of executed robbers hung in bony avenues to discourage other offenders. The same roads brought rats carrying fleas bearing the plague. In the forests, darkness held sway.” Rabbit - what is your left eye doing in that spot? Absolutely gorgeous, now I want to print this out and stare at it forever, and learn how to write in numbers in red ink like that. Dude beautiful

I took a picture of my wall, theres 2 unicorns on there actually, one on the bottom left and one on the bottom right With that being said I'm done mentioning the word unicorn haha.

The Last Unicorn (#2) So when I looked up this movie I saw that it was amazon prime for free so I gave it a watch. It was made in 1982, and the animation style isn't the best but it isn't terrible either, it looks like it was on a budget film/the frames aren't smooth. And the style and symbols in it are kind of stereotypical 'fantasy medieval'. The beginning scenes of the films looked like they were trying to emanate the 'Sleeping Beauty' Disney background paintings. The movie is about this unicorn who leaves her safe patch of the forest to go off and search for other unicorns, when learning that she may be the last unicorn, and then it goes off on a hero's adventure plot journey. There's a lot of music in between scenes which personally I think is nice because I like anything with excess filler space such as music or art if done right, but I can see how that can be boring as well to people. I was expecting to watch at and suddenly recall some scenes, but I hardly remember it at all. The only part that I faintly remember is when the harpy/magical bird is realized from it's cage and then swoops down to attack the unicorn. Things get more emotional and dark by the end of the movie when the main character unicorn turns human, and she is grieving the change of her physical form and loss of her immortality and she slowly forgets who she is and is confused that she can't remember who she is, and spends as lot of her time staring into the sea. The staring-at-the-sea part is what captured adult interest me the most, whereas I guess that the pretty unicorn is what captured 4 year old me's interest, because I was pretty obsessed that age with the unicorns and centaurs in Fantasia. That part slightly reminds me of the movie 'Princess Kaguya' where she's immortal but comes down to Earth to experience being human and she goes through confusion and sadness near the end of the movie (and now I want to re-watch that movie because it's been a while since I've seen it!) I'm a little bit surprised my parents let me watch that as a kid because of how censored the movies I watched as a kid was, I didn't know about or catch on to swear words until I was like 13. The movie didn't have 'pg 13' stuff in it because its a childrens movie, but at the same time it has a bit of nudity, a couple of swear words, and a horrifying tree that turns into a woman with huge breasts as is kind of smothering the magicians face as he is tied to the tree. (that was the weirdest part of the movie lol!) There's also a tiny bits of the movie that only teenagers or adults would understand, such as a few fancier words, and that part where the woman cries when she see's the unicorn and then becomes angry. (like the unicorn being a beacon of light/childlike purity, but never showing up for her when the woman grew older) So messed up That is all. Overall I think its a pretty good childrens movie, even though its clumsy, weird or awkwardly made in parts of it, but it isn't something that would capture my interest to watch again, only 4 year old me was interesting in watching it. Also the main character turned human had the prettiest hair and she looked oddly anime compared to the other characters. ('sad girl aesthetic') Also my favorite unicorn paintings: By Russian artists Andrej Dugin and Olga Dugina. Russian artists tend to have the most prettily detailed illustrations? I've had a print of this for a few years and it's hanging above my bedframe

Weird little things my brain does I've been keeping a note list of the little strange things my brain does in the past week on my iphone notes, just because. That along with finally writing down my 'deja vu' moments, in case that any of them happen to correlate really specifically and I have proof of it. Here are some of the points Imagining that the microwave is going to suddenly explode in my face, if I'm standing near it and staring at it. Make time stamps as 'forever' moments. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. A couple of time stamps that have worked: I made a time stamp when I was 10 and getting pulled up a snowy large hill by this pully machine, in order to sled down in this bouncy air inflated sled things. I was thinking I could be anywhere in the world and at this moment I was here, getting randomly pulled up a mountain. Another time stamp: A little older and standing outside of my grandparents new house, early night, playing games with my siblings on the grass. I thought 'I'm going to remember this very specific moment just because and there isn't anything to stop that' and I did. Procrastinate by telling myself 'I'll do this when the clock hits this specific time', and when I look up its 3 minutes past that time and I'll think 'oops, gotta wait another 27 minutes then'. SO annoying and this may be pretty common with people I'd guess? I hold my breath when I walk past other hikers, when I'm breathing heavy/tired at all. Because I don't want to breathe loudly in front of a stranger I try to stay verrry still during sleepovers and I have a hard time sleeping because of that. I sometimes try to listen to music while falling asleep at sleepovers because of this. Get freaked out when things in my head manifest into reality but in a really sudden, random, odd way. Such as: Once I was jumping on the trampoline and I threw a basketball over the fence. When it landed I heard a gigantic BANG/CRASH and it scared me but then I realized..oh that wasn't the basketball at all, that was something else down the road! Telling and vowing to myself that 'I'll forever be soo grateful and happy if only I could find 'x' (often times an apartment key) and finding it and then one day later being back to my ungrateful self, lol. Dejavu - These long seemingly random words all stream into my head in a quick instant. The closest feeling to this is like getting a sudden smell blown in your face. But it comes with the 'dejavu' feeling. It's almost like a weird game of clue to, its like: In the car, with the sword, this random face, in this corridor with these lights! Along with a few abstract feelings or a song on top of that. When I'm stressed or overwhelmed and my brain can't stop thinking and its morning time and I don't want to get out of bed, I'll just be like...I'm going to hang my head upside down for a few seconds off the side of my bed. This feels weirdly calming. (I initially tried this out when my neck was hurting each morning to see if it would make my neck feel any better) Synesthesia and mixing colors with words: So sometimes I'll mix colors with music in my head and not be able to separate the two. But more strongly and commonly, I can't help but thing of letters and words along side with colors. Yesterday before a friend came over my house to watch My Hero Academia with me, I did a quick run through of all the characters names online, trying to learn them. One of the characters I have the hardest time remembering because his hair is bright red but his name screams out 'YELLOW' to me. (Kirishima) This is because it has both K and R at the beginning, and S after that. Those are all yellow or faintly golden yellow-orange colors to me. So I kept thinking Kirishima was the name for one of the blonde characters, multiple times. When I see the blond character I think 'not Kirishima.' instead of his name. (it's almost like a badly learned language where it doesn't translate right, like if I'm trying to learn Chinese and a random French word pops in my head instead of the Chinese one. Or more closely, like seeing a tile that is red but its name is Blue.) Having words mix with colors like that can help me remember things at times, and at other times it makes it much harder. Having my phone die on me actually scares me, I don't know why. But having that faint crackle sound before it pops off gives me the shivers, so if I see that my phone is about to die, I hurry and charge it, or hide it away from me. It also really jars me when my chargeable headphones die on me. This is more understandable because it will loudly tell me 'BATTERY OFF'. But that same voice will jarr be but not scare me in the same way when it says 'BATTERY LOW.', even though its pretty much the same the 'battery low' warning is a startling annoyance, and the 'battery off' is a warning that I avoid like the plague. This is super weird but sometimes if someone else is driving and I'm looking at the white road stripes dash by, my teeth tap alongside the movement, like a game of trying to get the timing right. I don't always do this, just sometimes. I perfectly, disastrously always time myself to be 3-5 minutes late for everything, even when in my head I think 'Ok, I will be on time!' or 'I will be 5 minutes early!' It turns out to always be 5 minutes late unless I have somewhere vitally important to go where being early is necessary. Having an intrusive imaginative sensory thought of the feeling of my nails scratching over a car or anything with a bad texture like that, and then physically running my fingers together or against my shirt to try and un imagine that because of how uncomfortable that thought makes me feel. At least that I can combat, sometimes I will imagine the sound of screeching chalk or the feeling of a paper cut and there isnt much I can do about it. And by just writing this out and thinking of these sounds and sensations, it gave me an actual uncomfortable itchy tingly feeling on the right side of my neck, arm and shoulder, that lasted a couple of minutes.

The Last Unicorn: I just re remembered that this was my favorite movie as a child when I was almost pre memory young. And I remember NOTHING about the movie. I remember going to blockbusters or whatever movie store it was, I remember looking at the name 'The Last Unicorn' on the VHS, and checking it out several times, and my family being like...not again. I watched a couple of clips of it on youtube before but nothing much struck my memory to the point of me questioning if there was a different movie called the Last Unicorn. I might watch it again but I hope it isn't awful because that would be embarrassing. I was kind of into Caillou when I was 5 and that's embarrassing enough to look back on, it was probably the one kids tv show that I look back on and think 'Yeah that wasn't a great show.' This was also a painting I had hanging up on my wall when I was young. It seems to be a pretty famous for a unicorn painting because it isn't hard to look up on the internet. Well, a lot badly taken photos of it on the internet. And the unicorn and horse stuffed animal collection. I mostly had rabbit stuffed animals but I loved unicorns and pandas as well. My sister had a pink unicorn if I remember right and it was her's technically, but I think I stole it eventually? Eeeeee I had this exact same one! 'Snowflake'