Flyboy

I just wanted to follow up on this for anyone else who might encounter something similar. What I originally thought was an "injury" turned out to be the very beginning of my 3rd eye going through some kind of process. For about 4 weeks this pain, electrical stimulation, and whole-brain takeover continued, and I got to the point where I could not sleep AT ALL without strong sleeping pills. When I did sleep, dreams took on a visionary quality and I would frequently wake up feeling like I had been dealing with the mysteries of the universe. It eventually became obvious that whatever was happening was a process... gradually pressure built up and released, like an egg hatching. As this happened, I could also feel nerve connections "burning" pathways into different parts of my brain--it literally felt like electrical potential that would create pressure and eventually "connect" to wherever it was trying to go. After weeks, the pineal itself eventually reached a state where there was no more sharp pain or pressure, just intense electrical activity whenever my focus touched it (almost felt like a vibrating massager IN my head). This final excitatory stage lasted a few days, then dramatically calmed down and I was able to sleep naturally again, finally. What happened? I have no idea, but my best guess is that through intensive concentration on my 3rd eye I started a "decalcification process" that became self-sustaining until it finished. My pineal gland now feels alive and accessible, though I think this may be just the beginning of a larger energetic awakening process. The spiritual journey is getting real. For anyone else considering trying to get this to happen, please assess your life situation carefully. This was nearly debilitating for about a month, and involved considerable pain, terrible insomnia, and existential dread (of eternal lightening pain in my head). Perhaps it was necessary for future growth, but just please be careful and don't rush things.

So I really didn't think this was possible, but I seem to have "burned" something in my brain. I was using the Kriya yoga technique of focusing on your third eye, and after a week or so noticed I could definitely feel a "bulge" in the middle of my head. As I continued to meditate on it, the bulge felt like it was growing and exerting pressure, and even made "left/right" brain switching feel cumbersome like it was in the way. I was hoping this was my 3rd eye starting to open, so I continued to concentrate on it. Being Type A and sometimes prone to aggressive impatience, I focused pretty effortfully on this point on several occasions. About a week ago as I was doing this, I felt a powerfully sharp nerve-like point in the middle of my head. I thought at first that maybe this was Kundalini energy or something of that sort, so I focused directly on it a few times, which led to this kind of extreme overstimulation feeling, like pinching an exposed nerve (in hindsight I would say it was bad pain, not good pain). Ever since, this spot is extremely painful to focus on. Since it is right in the middle of my brain, any intense focus with both eyes, deep thought, or thoughts that come near the center of my head cause it to "wake up". It feels like I literally burned a hole in my head. I'm very worried about this, it's been a week and it is really affecting my quality of life and ability to sleep. I hope that with time it heals, but I've had to essentially stop all meditation or concentration practice. As soon as it starts hurting it is almost impossible to keep my attention off of it, and attention is what makes it hurt Does anyone know what happened or what I should do? This feels very real and physical, so "grounding my chakras" isn't the answer here. Can attention focused down to a single point can do something like a magnifying glass focusing the sun?

While that may be true in some cases, I totally disagree that Dalio is stage Orange. If you read his book Principles (which is excellent), you will find his values go well beyond capitalism and money and attainment. He deeply cares about family, relationships, happiness, balance, and optimizing life. He is literally one of the greatest systems thinkers in the entire business world. While I do think he is limited by a mostly rationalist/materialist worldview, he otherwise embodies the traits of Yellow far more than lower stages.

I've used 4-ACO extensively, up through a 45mg dose. That experience was monumental, and felt like nose-diving into the Marianas Trench of consciousness. Lighter doses are amazing for personal work, but at that depth my heartbeat alone was maddeningly loud, and the sensation of "being alive" was almost intolerable. I never relinquished control completely, but the price I paid was dear--it felt like my ego was burried under the crushing weight of an ocean. (I recommend you just let go) The post-peak portion of the experience was amazing though. In this state I could clearly tell my body was just a vessel, a meat sack. I glimpsed the Infinite Intelligence, and realized how small and limited my own mind really is. Intellectual arrogance has always been a core facet of my ego until this trip--this made me realize I have NOTHING to be arrogant about I really recommend starting low and gradually working your way up. Use 4-ACO intentionally, don't waste the whole trip on music or visuals (but don't forgo these pleasures either). When you surrender fully, 4-ACO will help you heal in a beautiful and emotional way. Empty stomach is recommended, and weed will potentiate it strongly (as with mushrooms) but will also color the trip a bit.

When meditating on awareness, I try to get as close to the "now" as possible... it's actually really difficult to be PRESENT 100%, so this is kind of like an asymptotic attempt where you stay closer and closer to the present with your attention. In addition, I try to soak up every perception--sight, sound, touch, smell, feeling... and without thinking about any of them, let them flow through me while gently asking the question "Who am I? Who is aware? What is awareness?" When I do this it kind of feels like my attention goes "back" onto the unperceivable wall of my awareness. This really does feel like a wall, where the attention can go no further back. I have not succeeded in breaking through it, though after doing this for some time it does feel like awareness starts to change--almost like you're getting close to something. I've had full-body shivers occur and hints of a big wave coming, though as yet it hasn't. The chapter on contemplation in the "Book of Not Knowing" gives some really pointers for setting up your attention like this (like Intent, Creating possibility, Focus, Openness, Wonder). Highly recommend reading that book if you have not done so, I think it is critical groundwork. Has anyone else been to this point I'm describing (the wall of awareness) and broken through it? What is that like?

Yep, just read Godel Escher Bach this week, Not Knowing the week after, and Infinite Jest the week after that. Report back

I have a question for any Spiral Wizards, but specifically would love @Leo Gura's take. How does Spiral Dynamics think about those who are at a relatively higher stage but don't have the "foundation" of lower stages? An example of this would be young liberals in college who are devoutly Green, but grew up as such and never really understood or included the key developments of Red, Blue, and Orange. Is this like swiss cheese Green? Fake Green? Unhinged Green? This phenomenon seems quite common, and I'm wondering how to think about it.

Great explanation, thanks! To those suggesting stages can be done "quickly" I personally think there is a limit. I idolized Red, was raised Blue, went through an existential crisis to get to Orange in college and remained for 10 years after, was dragged through Green when I moved out East through school and friends and travel, and finally feel I'm really entering Yellow through this work here (and some psychedelics!). Each of these stages was long and significant and challenging to work through, despite being intelligent and having "truth" as a primary motivation from a young age. But the benefit is that I feel like I've truly "been there" for Blue, Orange, and Green. Still, I find in my own personal development that I'm all the way back integrating PURPLE as I work to improve my family relationships. Being truly, solidly at a high stage is a very significant thing, I think.

It's funny you post this today, I had the same realization last night. I couldn't sleep and was doing self-inquiry under the stars, and realized that it was the very idea of "I" that needed to dissolve. Of course, this proved difficult I think we're on the right track, though the meditation is getting very challenging at this stage, at least for me. It feels like pounding on a wall that you know isn't real, and yet still hurts when you smash against it. In some ways this is the part of the journey that requires the most faith... when it's really hard, you've come a long way, and still haven't gotten there, and still don't KNOW that any of this is actually real.

Can you elaborate on the danger? I have 40x extract but have yet to try it because it frankly sounds like very few people have good experiences. Occasionally I see an experienced psychonaut say that Salvia actually has wondrous hidden potential if engaged with slowly and repeatedly, but I don't particularly want to become a doorknob for 100 years

I wanted to share this visualization I found! This really encapsulates how the stages must "accept and transcend" each stage in a very cool geometrical way.

I attempted Leo's video on Neti Neti meditation yesterday and had an interesting result. At the culminating moment, I felt vibration throughout my body, but nothing immediately changed. The sky and surroundings didn't look any different, and I assumed that I had been unsuccessful. But as I got up, I had the strangest sensation. I could barely remember what I was doing that day or what I had intended to do next, or even why I had been meditating. I decided to go for a walk. I still can't decide whether this was wishful thinking or imagination or real, but everything felt So Beautiful. The trees, the sky, the people, the grass. I felt immensely present. I put my hand on a tree and remember thinking "oh wow, they already knew." This wasn't like being on psychedelics, my consciousness wasn't exactly elevated, and "I" wasn't completely gone... But "I" felt different. My sense of self felt realllly far away, and reality shone through in a uniquely beautiful way that just felt whole. Could this have been a glimpse of awakening? I don't want to delude myself, but this experience felt beyond wishful thinking.

I'm kind of interested in how this can be unhealthy. I've been meditating and starting out on Kriya, but I have had some very strange side effects. I have this strong pressure in the middle of my head that feels like it wants to "pop" but can't. It's hard to even focus on anything else while meditating. I'm a little worried that I'm in uncharted waters and going straight for my 3rd eye without paying any attention to the lower chakras. If it just bursts open, could this have some really unpleasant side effects? I've already noticed this phenomenon degrading my sleep quality and a strange sense that switching between left/right brain thinking is less fluid. Thoughts?

I found this illustration here, though it does not appear to be the original source but a compilation of spiral resources. There's definitely some complexity in the diagram that I would like to have explained, like the inner letters on the spiral or the suction effect going upward that inverts at yellow or the multiple shells of Coral. Maybe that represents additional layers of awakening!

The Beige in the middle appears to represent how "selfish" (or survival-based) a stage is. I love how Orange has a thicker Red band and Green has a thicker blue band. Really clever.

The last episode will probably make you cry. I wept both times I watched it, and I am not prone to crying easily.

I researched this recently. His theory doesn't actually require a high IQ to comprehend, he just wants to make it sound like it does. If you read his writing, it is fairly obvious that he wants to seem like the smartest person in the world. I say that because his diction and sentence structure seem to be deliberately abstruse, even when conveying fairly straightforward ideas. Verifying the veracity of his voluble vexations vies for vitriol via voracious invidious vim. (That doesn't quite make sense but you get the point). That being said, a big ego isn't really unexpected from someone so gifted. The interesting thing about CTMU is that it really seems like a mathematical version of nonduality. I actually found it quite fascinating that someone so intelligent would essentially come to the same conclusions as enlightened mystics about the nature of reality, albeit from a completely different direction (math and reason vs direct experience). Even regarding evolution, Langan states the specified complexity found in observable life requires intelligent design beyond mere Darwinism. While Langan does not appear to me to be enlightened, the power of his exceptional mind brought him to eerily similar conclusions! The concept of the Human Singularity really reminded me of Leo's description of God breathing (when all duality finally re-integrates into nonduality). I think that's kind of cool, personally.

What is your perfect LSD protocol, out of curiosity? I would speculate that kundalini will go back into the background if you stop cultivating it...

@Marten Yup, that's smart! Maybe you can go as high as 40 or 45, but a breakthrough is possible as low as 25 if smoked really efficiently. I did back to back doses of 50mg, and the first one didn't hit at all. I figured I burned it... The second time I nailed the vaping and I suspect I got around 75mg in one hit. It was LITERAL DEATH. The elves all shouted hurray, you did it, you finished the game. Everything exploded in fireworks and I was torn to shreds. I entered the void and my ego was shattered like a thousand hammers breaking glass into tiny pieces. At this point in my work, I was NOT READY for this kind of death, didn't know how to let go fully, and it happened so fast that I had no idea what was going on. It felt like I was in the void for an eternity. I didn't know my name, that I had taken a drug, or that I was a human. When I landed, I felt like a beaten dog. I literally had a kind of PTSD from this event for a long time. All of this is to say that being careful and taking it slow is really crucial for your health and your journey.

I'm seeking some perspectives on how to transcend stage Yellow if your personality is biased towards individuality. As a kid, I worshipped stage Red in the form of heroes like Superman and King Arthur, but my military family was die-hard stage Blue at the time, and I was largely indoctrinated into this for much of my childhood. Strong streaks of independence, intellectualism, skepticism, and rebelliousness have always been part of me, though, and after I left home and started college, I consciously left Blue behind for a rationalist, scientific, atheist perspective. STEM and Ayn Rand and psychology 101 and Kant and others put me in Orange territory, where I remained until a couple years ago. This transition was "easy" in a way because it appealed to individualist aspects of my personality that originated in my worship of Red as a young child, and because I understood Blue so well, it was easy to leave it behind in the transition back to an individual perspective of competitiveness, meritocracy, and materialism. Then I went to business school for my MBA, which ironically wasn't full of Orange people but full of Green people. Intense Green was everywhere, and I was forced to confront it for two years. I was pulled along kicking and screaming--the collective/emotional view was hard to accept, especially given my personal biases. But something kind of strange happened. I never "was" Green. As I finally came to understand Green, I became Yellow. It was as if the lack of understanding Green was holding me back from a transition I had already been pushing towards, and once resolved, Yellow became obvious. I saw the nuance. I saw the integrated systems functioning together. I realized that perspective was crucial to the big-picture. Yellow's more impersonal big-picture understanding is so natural to me, and yet still grounded in some degree of individuality while embodying growth and learning for its own sake. Having now discovered Spiral Dynamics and nonduality, I question how to continue my growth. Turquoise people are rare indeed, so it's hard to surround yourself with them. Combined with my personal difficulty of truly identifying with a collective perspective, I feel this level will be much harder to achieve FOR ME. I continue to pursue enlightenment itself, though I think that will take time and effort over months or years to make meaningful progress towards. I wonder if, similar to Green, understanding Turquoise could eventually facilitate a transition to Coral if I can achieve awakening/liberation in the process. I would love to hear your thoughts.

@Marten Be careful sir, 60mg has the power to KICK YOUR ASS if you really inhale it perfectly. I understand the temptation to up the dose to make up for poor technique, but I learned the hard way what can happen when you suddenly really nail it. This is Wisdom, you have been warned I'd love to hear if you meet any entities, I haven't really experienced that aspect of DMT despite really wanting to (at least not that I can remember).

It might just have sat on a shelf for a while. At least test it with an indole test kit before you consume. dancesafe.com and others provide such tests pretty cheap. Always test, and consume in small doses the first time you take them.

Psychedelics have given me a glimpse of the mountain, to be sure, and their exploration has been the greatest discovery of my adult life and an incredible tool for personal development. I never even CONSIDERED that spirituality was "real" until I tried N,N,DMT. Wow, that cracked me open. Unfortunately, I had a misstep involving my serotonin receptors (don't use MAOI's you bought online in powder form) and I'm grounded to no psychedelics for at least the next 3-6 months, so I have to do some work the long way in the meantime. I'm exploring Kriya yoga, meditation, books, videos, journaling, etc. I just can see how this collective development towards Turquoise will be a difficult step for me based on my past development. The spiritual stuff is also a bit of a maze. I'm realizing much of it is "real," and yet much of it is garbage. It's hard to know the difference at the beginning, and results without psychedelics are slow.

I'm doing my best, sir. I realize that at this point it's all a conceptual framework and I don't yet have a foothold in direct experience on what awakening truly is. An interesting sidenote, on a recent LSD trip I had a vivid apparition of me strangling myself. While it felt bleak, I believe this was my ego fighting for its life in the midst of a determined quest to divorce it from my sense of self. I hope this means I am getting closer.

So Leo, what is your opinion then on the future of AI? Is it "impossible" to generate artificial consciousness? It is very easy to create organic life, and there seems to be no "limitation" on organic production, so why would God limit our ability to bestow consciousness on machine life? If the brain channels infinite consciousness into finite consciousness, shouldn't an artificial brain be capable of doing the same thing? If not, why? If so, what does that imply? (ie. IF conscious AI can be built, does that invalidate all of nonduality? It would experience Being with no self, and yet be finite and limited) It feels like a wrench in the system, but I would love to hear more on this.