KaRzual

Thank you. Why do you think it's such time for you now?

Hey I'm not really looking for a quick fix, rather i'd like to hear your perspectives/thoughts. So lately i'm experiencing that i'd rather sit alone than meet other people. Maybe there are like 10 people overall that i'd like to meet and spend time with. I get nearly no satisfaction or positive feelings when meeting people. It's quite opposite actually - being around people (outside of professional cases) stresses the shit out of me. I guess it's like that for some time, but i came to this conclusion lately being open with myself. As i'm pretty ok with that i'd like to hear your thoughts. Maybe in my current life-time i did not find "the right" people or i just don't need it? I don't know. Please share your experiences, i'll highly appreciate it. Thanks.

@snowyowl "@" me too bro, good luck.

Ask yourself

@Zeroguy I really try to get the meaning of your posts. But i think that's not the way.

Brilliant! Good job mate.

@Nahm I got it. Anyway adding medidation to my day program is crucial to me. May i message you?

Yeah classical Nahm.

Yeah. There are many elements of social exchange that appear disguisting to me now. I try to bullshit others less and be more genuine so i'm really conscious about this now. It backfires tho. Thank you for those words. I have 3 friends which i can trust and be able to talk with them freely. That's really important for me.

It's called limited space. Listen - i work at a shop. I've got plenty of clients and some of them want to talk just for the sake of talking. This is tiring for me. i think you would understand that. And that's the great one. I 100% agree with you. Well: 1. this is a place where i can talk with people that have really something interesting to say and i can listen to them happily. 2. I can close the tab and the socializing ends. Do you mean the complexity of other people? I don't really get it. Yeah i'm really happy of myself and how many changes i apply to my life. However sometimes i'm really lost.

Where would you draw the line? Between being needed and desired. Yeah probably that's how i see the world generally - projections. Okay. This is hard but i think i know what you mean. But how do i implement what you said? What is the context?

And i'm really teared apart. One one hand - i really don't give a fuck about other people. Their silly things they talk about and say to me, some fucking stories, lies, bullshit and just unimportant thigs. I get it, maybe they like it that way. But it tires the fuck out of me. i mean i like to engage in some spontanous conversations or ask people about something that interests me. So yeah on the one hand i really don't feel a need to socialize. I'm up to sometimes meet my friends and maybe do some stuff. Apart from that i'm seeing my gf 2 days on the weekends. But, on the other hand - i feel like it takes value out from me. Me not wanting to talk, to socialize, i feel like a weirdo sometimes. I imagine myself being on a wedding with my gf (i hate those events) and being fucking forced to sit at the table. Unbearable conflict rises. I really don't want to force myself into some contact with other people, but i feel like it's stripping me out of some social power and social proof. It's tiring. Feels like i want to eat the cake and also to have it.

Well @Nahm if she's my only sexual partner (at the moment ofc) how the heck am i supposed to not need her? I mean - i'm not needy. I don't really think i am, but i'm pretty horny creature that craves sex. Now what? Play the game of acting like i don't need that? Literary how? What does it even mean? That i don't do things that i think will make her need me? If that's the case it's kinda counterintuitive. Big one. Noted. Yeah i gotta say i got better at it lately i guess. What do you mean? Great one.

Thank you @aurum for your response. I've got to agree in the case of novelty and moving into higher consciousness forms of love. I'm interested if you have any tantric love practices/books/materials to recommend?

Aren't you thinking too much?