John

Well, if you set aside 20 mins at 3.00pm everyday, then yes you do have some control over when you do surgery on them. But the question is, when doing the surgery, I find myself subtly detaching from the experience. I use Shinzen Young's focus in technique. And while I am labeling my inner experience, there will be a subtle self arising that believes "So long as I just label these experiences, I am safe from them" This seems unhealthy to me. Am I making sense?? Thanks, John

Thanks.@electroBeam It's still messy and murky waters for me to be honest. I am pushing on though, all I can do!

Where do you meet women these days? Do you still use techniques you learned in game?

When I got back from my first retreat, the first few weeks were quite peaceful. There was an ease to my days. Even when I found myself going onto facebook and scrolling through the newsfeed, there was no punishing voice. I wasn't enlightened but I was OK with that. And now slowly but surely that punishing voice has returned. "You're scrolling through the newsfeed, how unconscious", "If I am not enlightened, then all I experience is the idea of the present moment, not the present moment itself". My thoughts have been steadily increasing in their volume and menace and my whole world is shaking. Shinzen Young says there is a taste to purification. That as all of your unconsciousness comes up to the surface, you face it and thus purify it and that this can actually be a good thing, not something to be feared. But I have no palate for this. It all feels awful and unnerving. Does anyone have any advice here? Cheers, John

A video going in depth on this subject! Leo has talked a bit about the emotional labour of the spiritual path but I'd love to hear him do a full video dedicated to it.

Simply amazing. If you feel Leo's approach to meditation to be a bit dry and scientific, this is what you need! Much more compassion, much more love. Much more tangible tools for your ego to work with. E.g. Exercises that don't require to meditate! I might start a new topic on Matt Kahn somewhere because he is one of the more interesting enlightened people I have come across so far.

@Ramu I'm currently re watching 'Respecting The Shadow'!

At the moment I have four meditations to choose from for a given sitting. It varies everyday which one I choose. Is this OK? To use Shinzen Young's terms, I building up my concentration power, sensory clarity, and equanimity through all four so that's why I personally don't think it's a problem. But I'd be curious to hear what other people think. Cheers, John

After a tumultuous couple of months of going out and meeting women in nightclubs, I've finally decided to make the more compassionate call and stay in a bit more and work on my life purpose. I really found through both my positive and negative experiences that attraction is inversely proportional to neediness. The more you need the girl, the less attractive you are. So by going out to try and 'game' girls you are already shooting yourself in the foot. Better to be non needy in the first place, and then try and mingle in some of these places. It's going to be grueling when the neediness flares up and I'm in my room alone, but better to navigate it there than in the middle of some nightclub. Would love to hear people's thoughts on this!

@Stoica Doru Awesome man that' so good to hear. You articulated yourself very well in your original post so it's comforting in a sense to see someone facing similar struggles to me. I hope we get through all of it.. Matt Kahns book, 'Whatever arises, Love that' is awesome as well. Requires open mindedness, but you seem to have that!

I was directed to this guys teachings when asking something similar. He really hit home for me. Hope it helps man.

@Prabhaker Thanks for the advice. I still think this is a distinction I will wrestle with. Because the type of meditation you are talking about is the exact type of meditation that keeps people with a practice for 20 years but go nowhere.. no realizations, no insights, just a wishy washy practice, with wishy washy results. However, I have taken what you said on board and will try it out for my next few sits!

Has anyone else experienced this? All I do is a simple 20 minute breathing meditation. However, when I finish, I feel like going straight to bed. It seems to drain me. Would appreciate any feedback on this. Cheers, John

@Prabhaker Can you elaborate any further on this? Or direct me to some information on it? The distinction between focusing and just maintaining awareness. Cheers, John

Yeah I'm just being neurotic about it!

I want to experience the first Jhana. I want to use the breath as my object of concentration. I want some resources on where to find instruction for these types of meditation. Thank you very much in advance, John

So to make a long story short: I started meditating during a life threatening clinical depression. Obviously things were very dark and murky back then, very cloudy. Things are still cloudy and murky and all over the place, but I have reached a place where my life at least, is no longer in danger. My meditation up until this point has reflected the state of my life; Chaotic! I recently made a mind map so that I could have more goal oriented meditations and hopefully more successful progress and insight along the path. I am coming from quite a sensitive and vulnerable place here and this map is just my first attempt to try and take control of my journey a little bit and give me some equanimity. So here it is, would appreciate feedback from some experienced meditators. And if it doesn't make sense to you, no problem, don't comment. Thanks in advance, John

@Prabhaker This is a distinction that I have only learned about recently. Before I was focusing laboriously on the breath. At a retreat I learned that it's possible to simply try and maintain awareness of it. I am still getting used to this distinction and making it real in my practice.

The world becomes so tumultuous when I am not on my meditation cushion! I work in a very fast paced service industry, deal with a lot of depression and anxiety, and my question is this: When I got back from my first meditation retreat, two weeks ago, there was this equanimity to my day to day life. I was worried that upon returning from the retreat, every time I went on Facebook or listened to rap music I would punish myself. Instead though, there was this peace to my actions. "You're not enlightened, you're enjoying this song. And so it is!" However, that peace began to fade over the last week. And now I find myself, with my phone in my hand, saying "You're going onto Facebook, look how unconscious you are, this is not an enlightened thing to be doing" Or, I'll have fifteen minutes to eat my lunch, and I'll be scoffing down some food while thinking, "Look how fast you are eating, no mindfulness here" It feels like I am so deep in my unconsciousness that I am paralyzed and don't know where to turn. How can I find some equanimity here? Sorry this post is so mumbled and jumbled, but that is the state of my consciousness right now! Cheers, John

And we feel the friction of the wheel crunching the concrete. This is a beautiful analogy mate, thanks for sharing. @cetus56

I have started breathing meditation. Very simple, no frills. However, I have very bad anxiety that can really cut off my breath. I get very tight and cramped in my chest and throat. I mean super tight.. and achey and fatigued. So my breath gets really shallow. And then it literally becomes hard to find. It gets caught in all of that stuckness in my chest.. So I simply try to focus on whatever tiny bit of it I can catch... Alas it is difficult and I would appreciate any advice! Thanks in advance, John

@Prabhaker But I'm saying that the anxiety is trapping my breath before it even gets to my belly. My belly moves up and down only very, very slightly. If I try and push the breath down there it ends up feeling like a yoga exercise in breathing rather than a meditation.

I'm still terrified of the cold approach. I work in a busy service environment where it is easy for me to practice breaking out of my shell. And I find myself out of that shell more and more now. Simple things like commenting on someone's outfit or helping someone with a query are routine occurrences. Especially if there is an attractive girl, I am able to introduce some flirtation into the mix. But given that I'm at work, it's hard to really escalate to a number close. However I do find my introversion to be a powerful magnet. It sucks me back in and says that my successful interactions were isolated events, not to be trusted.. And I'm wondering, would people recommend doing the thousands of pure cold approaches Leo has recommended before? I.e. Taking it on as a project where I do ten a day or something for a couple of weeks? That's a lot of emotional turmoil for me.. Have people found this endeavor to remove them from their shells completely? Perhaps all I need is more time for my introversion to naturally fall away.. Because the cold approaching still seems so foreign and alien and petrifying to me!

If a newbie came to you now, with relationships problems. Would you still recommend cold approach pick up?

I have been doing the meditation described in Leo's video, titled above, for the last few months. I have only been able to do 20 minutes a day but I have been going hard on those 20 minutes and before this was doing an hour a day of some other techniques. I have reached an interesting point now in the practice. Thoughts arise and fall, and while it is still, for the most part, quite tumultuous, after a while a certain stillness does come over me. The pace of the thoughts slows down. And eventually they do stop. Not in any enlightened way, but they stop enough for me to enjoy some stillness. And then these really interesting thoughts come up. The locus of consciousness, that is "me" starts to become very present in my awareness. I am drawn to this point in between my eyes, at the top of my nose, and my attention stays there as thoughts arise like; "There you are", "This point here is the false watcher", "You are the one necessary for the intimate experience of my thoughts", "You are me" This sort of natural self inquiry arises and my question is a follows; Should I pursue these thoughts further, this sort of natural self inquiry? Stay with it? Or are all of these just ego games that I'm getting caught up in, that should be allowed to rise, and then FALL.. just let them pass, however difficult that might be.. (And I assure you, it is difficult!) I live in Ireland and have no mentor as such on this path so I would appreciate some feedback from someone who has some deeper insights along the path already. Cheers, John