Clarky000

@Johnny5 Thanks for the words! This is the first time I'm experiencing this type of sensation, so I don't know what to exactly do.

Recently I've been through some really, really rough memories of my past relationships, which I miss a lot, like A LOT, as I meditate. And, whenever I remember them, I feel some pain in my belly and throat (to me it's completely normal, that's how my body reacts to these types of memories). However, this got to a point where is getting too strong, it looks like I'm about to throw up even though all my body is relaxed: jaw, shoulders, belly, legs... How can I be sure if this is an ego backlash (up to this point these memories were "dead", not showing at all in my routine) or it's just how my body reacts to fully embracing strong negative emotions, or else? It's frightening.

So I read this book (in Portuguese, "Sem medo de vencer" by Roberto Shinyashiki) and he discuss about spiritual enlightenment at the very last chapter of the book. He claims that in order to really appreciate the beauty of God and infiniteness you should first experience and master the external events (such as career, relationships, money, sex etc) until you realize that there's something else in life: "So what am I supposed to do now? It cannot be just this." At this point, you should look for a master to start your enlightenment process. So, my question is: There are a lot of pathes out there, a lot of masters and enlightened people will give totally different and contradictory answers to the same question, so how am I supposed to find my path? Choosing one and ignoring the rest? Building it through my own deductions? Through years of experience on trial and error? This is really interesting, some teachers even say that meditation and enlightment should be at the schools for kids, while others says this should be the last thing in your life. I guess when I become one, I'm going to find the answer.

I just want to thank Leo for this amazing ending, I'm crying like a baby. And I'm just starting this journey. These 2 final minutes hit me so hard.

I've watched several Leo videos about how to mediated, and in most of them he says that you should sit with your back straight, with no support on it. Why is this the case? Couldn't I meditate just lying on somewhere comfortable? Sorry if Leo changed his opinion on recent videos about meditation, I haven't watched them. By the way, I've been meditating for 3 months straight, at least 20 minutes a day, with no miss at all, so back pain is not an annoyance anymore.