Verg0

Being on the edge of Ego-Death, but not being able to FULLY surrender into it on Ayahuasca. The journey included timeskips, almost vomiting myself and many other crazy things that happened that night. Scary stuff. But it showed me that I have more work to do to fully transcend death and I am really grateful for that.

I wonder how much more there is to study and explore in these psychedelic realms. I mean I´ve heard many trip reports where people expereince a vision of pyramids, different archetypes or other stuff related to different kinds of ancient knowledge. But I myself never had these kind of experiences in my psychedelic jouneys. Just once. I smoked some Changa in front of the pyramids of Teotihuacán and had a completely unique experience. I saw visions of aztec art and the mayan calendar coming out of the pyramids. It made me want to live at such a place like Teotihuacán for a longer period of time and tripping there more often to integrate and understand this knowledge that is present in those places on a deeper level. I can imagine we could make so much more progress in understanding ancient civilazations if we would build groups of passionate psychedelic archeologists that explore the higher dimensions at these places and combining that knowledge with the findings of normal archeologists. There are so many of these ancient sites and ruins around the world that we don´t understand or have much information of. And psychedelics can help us to access our infinite, omniscient state that contains all the knowledge from everything conciousness has ever experienced. Interesting sidenote: I smoked some Changa inside of one of the Pyramids of the mayan ruins of Palenque and had "just" a "normal" DMT experience, no visions of ancient knowledge or any visions.

So I've noticed something I didn't really wanted to realize but in the last months it became just very obvious: I am sick very very often and it's hindering me in realizing my life purpose and spiritual work. It's basically that I'm healthy for a month (sometimes longer, sometimes shorter) and than I get sick again for 1-3 weeks. Mostly flu like symptoms, especially a runny nose, coughing, headache, body pain and just feeling weak in general. Especially in the last year these periods of sickness hit me really hard. As of right now, I just came back from traveling a lot and I am sick for 4 weeks now!!!! It's soooo hard to just practice patience when I just want to get into my routines and go all in with my life purpose. I'm usually a very healthy person, I was never really sick and I'm living a healthy lifestyle (realitvly good diet, movement, good mental health). I'm taking vitamin c, d3, b12 and spirulina. Could it be that there's something wrong with my immune system? Any ideas of how to boost that or how to troubleshoot what the root cause of the issue is? Oh and I went to a normal doctor already which was not really helpful, he had no clue.

Awesome! Thanks for the inspiration!

@Roy @DreamScape Thanks guys!

This is gonna be a bit longer but I appreciate every one of you who is reading and sharing perspective ❤️ I am really struggling to decide if moving out is the right move in my life right now. (I'm 21) I just came back to my hometown after almost a year of traveling around. Now I'm in a process of clarifying what I want to do next, what is aligned with my life purpose. A very good friend asked me if we should move into the city together and of course it's got a lot of benefits to it and it feels exciting. - experiencing City life for the first time (coming from a little village) -possibility to socialize more and game -taking responsibility for living situation, being independent from parents -not having vibrational influence from parents (and noise from little baby siblings) -having freedom to trip whenever I want and grow my own shrooms (and other stuff) -having an accountability partner But there are also some points that speak against it from my point of view... That make me doubt and question this move. -loosing/investing time to work in a restaurant (or whatever job) to get money to pay for rent -less time to invest into projects related to my life purpose that I could build up for potential income faster without having to work - way less money to invest in courses, coachings and travel that bring me closer to realizing my vision (I would be earning just enough to survive, there would be almost nothing left to save unless I work more which I don't want cause I value my time and side projects more than ever) -less freedom to travel whereever I want whenever I want (also for longer... For example: I thought about spending winter in another country where it's warm and that wouldn't be possible with this commitment to an apartment + job) - im not sure if I really want to live in that city/county close to my hometown or if I want to live in a van or on another continent in a village I really really loved when I was traveling there -having less time to trip -having a friend in my apartment could also be a distraction -part of my vision is calling me to South America again but my ego mind is too terrified from my last ayahusasca experiences to accept that I have the possibility to train with a shaman (which is still calling me) and is now leading me to take a step back and just live a 'normal' life instead of instantly working towards going there again I'm really confused and torn apart right now. A lot of friends say: "Don't do it, you're gonna waste that money and time that you can invest into realizing your purpose more." And the guy that wants to move out with me is fully convinced it's gonna be a good move and time for both of us. In the end I can imagine both is gonna be amazing and the right choice. But what do you guys think? I would really appreciate your input. Of course I have to decide it for myself in the end. Blessings

What are your favorite spiritual practices? What are the most powerful practices for Self-Understanding / God-Realization you've implemented in your life?

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Well, I got a new job as a "Media Consultant" 2 month ago. Basically what I´m doing is a lot of cold calls to make appointments to sell a professional website concept (B2B) in an anti-sale style. Why I entered this job: - to save up money for future investments - to learn something about marekting and sales and gain experience in this area What I like about the job: - It´s a relatively chill job and it´s kinda fun - I´m making some money + I have the possibilty to make much more money (through provision) - I´m not selling shit, but something that can actually be valuable for some people - I´m getting to know a lot of great and interesting people in many different business fields (because I`m only meeting up with the head of a business) --> expanding my network - I´m learning a lot about many different businesses and gaining insights about very practical things in business that I did not knew before - I´m having stuff to do and getting outside while lockdown - Eventhough I have a boss, I´m kind of working for myself, chill work environment What I don´t like about the job: - Very long work hours (sometimes I´m leaving at 07am and getting back at 8pm), so I rarely have time for something else (like working on my YouTube channels, reading, working out etc) - I´m not getting paid very well, so it's only worth it when I start to sell more and get really good at it (finally managed to write my first contract a week ago) - It´s not easy to sell such an expensive product (23k spread over 4 years, so ~480$ per month) - It´s kinda exhausting - Cold calls are extremely hard (but also great to learn how to deal with rejection haha) - It´s really present in my mind even in my free time, hard not to think about it -It´s not really in my area of interests - Not so much time to take psychedelics The main thing is: I know that this job is not aligned with my life purpose or with the lifestyle I want to live my life. It´s just a stepping stone. And I´m not doing it to pay the bills because I´m living with my parents again at the moment. So I have the freedom to leave anytime I want to leave. But the question is: How do i know when it is the right time to quit this job? (Because I know that I want to leave for sure) I did not wanted to leave directly because I wanted to give it a chance and get good at it. Now I´m 2 month in and I still have mixed feelings about it when I deeply feel into it. On the one hand I want to save up a lot more money than I have now (currently I have about 3k) to invest in a lot of different things that are quite expansive: -buying and converting a van (~10k) + travel expanses in general -a good coach training Program (~10k) -ayahuasca/psilocybin retreats to find a place where I want to volunteer - and many other things that could be useful on this self-actualization journey On the other hand I want to have much more time to invest that time into building my own buisness, shooting YouTube videos, learning other skills, doing meditation retreats, traveling etc. The most painful thing is that I know that I´m not following my heart and it feels like I´m not trusting God fully in the sense of: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:25-34 But also I´m trying to find the balance between trusting God and taking responsibility (+taking action) to follow a strategic plan to realize my vision and actualize my life purpose, even if that means I have to sacrifice my time for some time Well, that´s it for now thanks for taking the time to read this. I would appreciate if you would share your thoughts on this topic in general Feel free to ask me anything if you want to know more details.

It is tough, but absolutely possible to do it. What helped me is patience, the ability to focus and not getting lost in distractions and seeing every situation in the most beneficial way. Oh and don´t forget to enjoy the journey! You can also try different jobs, gain experience and than live in your van for some time or travel around or take time off between different things that you are doing. Yep, just keep going! Having a clear vision and a strong why can help with that.

Nice share, thank you! Absolutely resonates, I´m starting to realize that from my direct experience more and more!

It still works, because Covid is just an excuse you're using to be lazy. I met more people last year during Covid than ever before in my life.

You´ll definitely realize your life purpose! Much Love to you

Yeah, I agree. But on the other hand I can´t quite say when it´s too much. The first few times I did it were quite gentle but one day I met a Rapé Master and when he gave me his Rapé (a lot) it was on a completely different level. I can´t really compare it to all other experiences I had with Rapé. I was giong through a bit of suffereing and vomiting for 30 minutes and was feeling the peaceful aftereffects for 2-3 hours (Normaly it´s more like 3-10 minutes). Some people who recieved his Rapé couldn´t move for the next 6 hours or so. It´s astonishing what this medicine can do. So I don´t know if they had "too much" or if they were just experiencing the medicine. He called it being "cleansed" haha. Sometimes I also feel it is frightening to take the Rapé and to experience it (on higher doses), but I still work with it from time to time.

Sounds great! Congratulations Was it really too much for you to handle? Because the result of the insight sounds quite peaceful. Would you do it again oneday? I can´t relate to the experience of absolute infinity cause I have not experienced it to that degree. But I did the same last week (~100 uq LSD and 110 mg DMT) and it was showing me pure Beauty. Infinite Beauty and Perfection. Absolutly astonishing but not too much to handle. Thanks for sharing your experience!

I want to move out (feel like that is quite an important step towards my life purpose and my personal development in general) and that requires a little bit of money so I need to get a new job. Any ideas for a high paying job that doesn't require a college degree and that is possible to apply for during covid? In the best case even a job that can teach a very useful skill for life in general

@captainamerica Essentially how to lead a plant medicine ceremony. (And general knowledge about how healing works, how to navigate in the spirit world and knowledge about different plants). Maybe a deeper sense of Self Understanding but as @Sempiternity already said, the answers to that are already within and solo retreats and psychedelics can help with that. But a vision quest with shamanic guidance (preparation and integration) also seems to be a great idea. I think I'll go the route to visit different retreats and shamans, participate in their ceremony and ask for a volunteering position to get in touch if their work resonates. @flowboy Yes! I've listened to this podcast the time it was released. Awesome talk and interesting content. Basically wrote down the same stuff you've listed here. Thank you for your comment! I am thinking about attending a retreat with Hamilton as soon as his retreat center opens up again to get in touch with him and his work. He's also offering online plant dietas at the moment but I'm not sure if that's worth the money.

One of the next possible steps towards realizing my life purpose is to do an shamanic apprenticeship. Possible action steps that I´ve discovered so far: -Buy one that is offered online (extremely expensive, not unique and kind of a bad commercial vibe) -Visit different Ayahuaca retreats and ask the shamans that truly resonate for an apprenticeship. (expensive and must be executed over a long timespan) -Travel to South America and search randomly (kind of dangerous?) Any thoughts about how to find an authenic shaman who is ready to take on a student? Where to go? How to search?

@Michael569 Great idea! I'll look into online teaching @datamonster I'm not that interested in learning programming skills or something along those lines but thanks for the recommendation. I'm not sure if college is worth the time, I would just get a psychology degree to be a therapist but I can also earn real life experience by working directly and then get into coaching. @bejapuskas Nice! Will try that one!

@aurum @Sempiternity Thank you very much für your answers!

Great shows that were not recommended yet: Casshern Sins (dystopia, what does it mean to be human, what is death) Ergo Proxy (what does it mean to be me?) Texhnolyze (Nihilism) Haibane Renmei (what is heaven, life and death, culture, angels) Kaiba (what is memory, who am I) [more spiritual] The Tatami Galaxy (is there a perfect life) [very spiritual, just a masterpiece] Kino no Tabi (travel, freedom, belief systems) [similar to Mushishi] Great movies: All Satoshi Kon Movies Tekkon Kinkreet Tenshi no Tamago Night is short, walk on girl