Someone here

Thanks for the uplifting comment . Appreciate it .

This is for my own benefit. There is not much to read in this journal. This is just for my own personal development. Not for a reader other than me . I'm realizing an increasing dependency on cigarettes, sugar,porn,music,video games to regulate my mood .I feel like absolute piece of shit whenever a day passes without some or all of these things .I'm confident to say I'm addicted to them . This journal is just a public recoding of trying to quit these things for an entire year ..starting from today 14/11/2024 until Christmas of year 2025 . Then I will see where I will be moving from there . I'm also going to stop posting in the main forums. I will only stick to the journaling section until December 2025. I'm not gonna quit music and video games as I do need something pleasurable to regulate my mood . I'm not ready for a complete monk mood . So I'm going to quit cigarettes and pornography. There we go . Today is day 1. I will keep a day count here .

Smoked two ciggies Marlboro Red while taking a walk in the darkness of my town. Back to zero . This shit is more difficult than I have thought . At this point I have no doubt that I have neurological addiction. Its not just a vice or something that I enjoy doing .it's something my whole freaking life depends on . Porn :day 0. Cigarettes : day 0.

Relapse . I watched porn today for 2 hours . Back to day 0. But I didn't smoke . I think it's better to keep a separate record for each. Porn: day 0. Smoking : day 2.

Day 2 done #.

Thanks for the advise .you are welcome to comment on the journal. But actually I don't want to substitute one addiction for another .I'm still going to use sugar and videos games as I mentioned. Because they are less harmful than porn and smoking.

Day 1 done.#

There is nothing that you should seek for .or there is..doesn't matter ..seekers gonna seek .unseekers are gonna unseek. There are no shoulds or should nots. There is nothing that has to be done .everything is exactly in its right place. All is well .

That's exactly what the quote is pointing to . You should not desire or seek happiness outside yourself . Precisely because its natural. Yes . Feel free to double check .uncle Google in your fingertips . Relax girl .

The only time I smoked a joint it was made in Costa Rica and it just made me feel ecstacy and satisfaction. No insights .just basking in being and chilling out .I don’t get any psychedelic-like effects even though I have not tried classical psychedelics before but judging based on trip reports and the videos I see from YT.

Smoking Marlboro Gold .

OK thanks . I'm rather surprised that you didn't trynna sell me "you're not the real deal..you're fake ..you're mentally masturbating etc". Hopefully from now on let's be on friendly terms ..what do you say ? BTW is smoking weed really as potent as tripping balls on LSD or DMT and that kind of stuff ? It sure expands your mind but it doesn't fuck around a lot with the content of your consciousness.

@ExploringReality amazing thanks for sharing. Can you achieve this with weed/cannabis? I've got some and thinking of getting high af while contemplating precisely this part:

@Spiritual Warfare You just gave a definition for potential. You've given it attributes like "holding the possibility for existence ". Bottom line is there must be something eternal..since existence undeniably exists right now ..therefore the natural conclusion is that it has always existed .

Metaphysics teaches you there's a cause for everything but that's kindergarten. Cause does not exist. There never was a cause. You identify as a form. That's a mistake. You are both form and formelessness which is probably what you conflate with "non existence ". For you to exist as a form there must be a cause and of course most people call that God. So if you are not god then who the fuck is god ? you are lost into duality.. where did potential non-existence came from ? From god . You have no other choice but to posit god .you might ask "Where does this God come from that made the non-existence? And who made the God?" It's all concepts.. it's all relative thinking. Do not try to understand this with your finite mind..you cannot. The infinite can never comprehend the finite or the finite can never comprehend the infinite. They are two different things .

@Princess Arabia btw can't wait for one-upmanship competition to begin between you ...Razard86..Breakingthewall..and Ishanga . But I'm not playing .

You and him please Feel free to add whatever your personal utopian life would look like. I'm living on planet earth year 2024 not in paradise with angels.. Where big nations in the world are about to get us into a ww3. Imagine you are all powerful..Razard86 Is saying you won't want Being completely content with everything that is..Well then why don't you do it right now? Because either you do it that way or you won't be able to do it at all. Whether you like it or not. " imperfection perfection life" is a highly dualistic notion . You're saying like Robet Adams (the guy whom you bookmarked a quote if him from me ) that the desire to change certain conditions in reality so that you can be happy is what prevents you from ever truly being happy. This may not be always the case . Some people do really want a luxurrious lifestyle . But they cant so they turn to spiritual fantasy to escape .like snorting cocke.

Exactly. Use the ego to kill the ego . Turn your mind in on itself and use it to see through it .

@Inliytened1 you are the wisest person on this forum . Do you believe me ?😇

That sounds nice and bambi .. but go deeper ...perfection can be distinguished from imperfection..by the obvious fact that these are two different words or concepts. So why does God have to experience his imperfect perfection rather than perfect perfection? Isn't it any less perfect by doing this ? God is stuipd to experience his imperfection when he can stay in infinite bliss forever. If you were a Greek god with a lifetime of 10 billion years..who knows no physical or mental exhaustion..who possesses immense prowess and can survive even a planetary destruction.. it would be rational to claim that God is perfect and wise to choose this . On the other hand look at you..How fragile and vulnerable you are..it takes a zillion things in proper place in your environment and psycholology to make a moment of respite for you while a minor little thing like a virus.. temperature.. gravity..accident.. discomfort..tough emotion can legit screw you over. It takes like 15-20 years of healthy childhood.. education and environment to have a decent..high esteemed self..while only one traumatic event or imagination can plant a deep imprint in you and screw you over badly for life. Being a human means we are In the world of imperfection. Anyways..Nice try ..all religions and philosophers have tried since the dawn of time to explain why God is such an asshole for creating such a hell hole and they couldn't.

Then why you do you lose your beans when I post something from Robert Adams which is the epitome of spiritual nihilism? 😁

Welcome to godhood . Welcome to woke territory . Life is absolutely completely meaningless . All your efforts will go to vain by death . It's perfectly meaningless .nobody will ever win this game called life ..since everyone will die at the end . And you will take nothing with you to the grave. That's half assed enlightenment. Aka nihilism. Go full circle and realize that life is so fucking meaningless that there is no difference between meaningless and meaningful . Let it die I say . Good night 🌃

The highest teaching is nothing. Can't become mainstream because you can't utilise it to fit your egoic agenda . It's waging a war against your ego ..annihilating it and becoming a nobody .who wants to do that ? How can you use this ? How can "nothing " be mainstream?

Im considering taking a break from Internet for the whole year of 2025 because i have been seriously damaged by dopamine overloads for the past couple of years . Also I've been deeply contemplating topics like happiness and pleasure..hedonism vs stoicism. People back in the days (talking about thousands years ago ) had it a lot easier imo. The Internet and technology and techno era have reduced down the probability live a simple clean life dramatically. Every fucking kid nowadays is playing video games and scrolling through his IPhone and ruining his attention span. How could he do thousands of hours of meditation and contemplating or personal development work ? I do think hedonism and chasing dopamine spikes isn't sustainable in the long term . I've chosen stoicism as a lifestyle.read into it guys .especially Epicure.