Someone here

How did you know my kink ?

Take the gold pill and 2 cups of sugar and you will be just fine .

Thank you for sharing this information.

No, they aren’t needed . You study psychology. It’s well known that “depression “ as a clinical diagnosis has to do with with imbalances of things like Serotonin and dopamine in the brain .

Depression could be physical due to chemical imbalances in the brain , which is the most common form. or it can be caused by tragedies in one’s life , like losing a loved one. The second common one . or it can be seasonal. Like depression during winter . Which is the least common one. idk what is meant by depression “metaphysically “. But it’s an interesting concept to contemplate. I would guess something like existential crisis?

There is an old man whom I see almost daily, walking past me. I don’t know exactly how old he is, but he looks to be at least in his 70s. He is a stooped elderly man, with an ice-white beard and ice-white hair. He uses a stick to walk, and it takes him almost 15 minutes just to cross a street vertically. Watching him makes me deeply uncomfortable, because it reminds me of something I have always feared: old age. I have a very big fear of growing old. I don’t want to reach a point in my life where even crossing a street becomes a difficult task. The thought of gradually losing my independence, of having to move through the world with increasing difficulty, is genuinely frightening to me. I don’t want my own body to become an obstacle between me and the simplest things in life. Old people are also more prone to chronic illnesses, fatigue, insomnia, and all sorts of things that can make everyday life exhausting. My mother once told me that old age is very difficult, and she almost teared up while describing it. That moment stayed with me. There is something heartbreaking about it . I know that I tend to be a generally negative person and most of my expressions on this journal are negative . I use this journal for completely unrelated and free expression.My mind naturally gravitates towards the darker aspects of existence, and I have a habit of contemplating the unpleasant possibilities that other people might prefer to ignore. Perhaps this is why thoughts about ageing and physical deterioration affect me so deeply. I struggle to look at the human condition without noticing its vulnerabilities. This also connects to what I have been experiencing lately with mental fatigue. For some reason, I dislike the idea of being incarnated in a physical form at all. A physical body feels like a dense and gross substance, something heavy that I must inhabit and maintain for as long as I exist in this world. I wish I could be a breeze of cool air, an ethereal entity, or an angel made of pure light. Something weightless, free, and unburdened by the limitations of biological existence. Something that could simply exist without constantly having to worry about its own physical condition. When I look at the human body, I cannot help noticing how vulnerable and easily damaged its various parts are. The organs can be injured, the eyeballs can be pulled out, and the skull is essentially a rigid container protecting a mushy brain inside. The joints can break, and every bone seems capable of being dismantled under the right circumstances. Even the body’s most essential structures, the very things that allow us to perceive the world and experience consciousness, are susceptible to damage. morever the body must go through pain and must go through death . So I’m not sure if this is negative in and of itself or i am being overly negative about it.

I’m here. Why would I talk to you if I believed you were merely an inert character in my mind or dream? Leo, this makes no sense, and it’s not funny anymore. This solipsism bullshit has gone far enough. I suggest he cross-reference his insights on psychedelics with those of other enlightened people and double- and triple-check his position on this point, particularly regarding the idea that equating oneself with God is identical to the philosophy of solipsism. at this point , this is dangerous misleading from Leo’s part .

The commitment should be to teach the truth , not falsehood.

I’m sad that our teacher is teaching us delusion and falsehood.

@Lyubov thank you .

You’re repeating the same suggestion, and I don’t accept the premise that it’s true. You’re saying, “the discomfort is real, but you are unconsciously creating it because of a Conscious belief.” Pure contradiction. that is the very thing we are supposed to be investigating you’re presenting it as the conclusion before it has actually been established. To cut to the chase: I experience this discomfort even while I’m asleep, when I’m supposedly unconscious. So what belief exactly is creating it then? If your answer is still “there must be an unconscious belief,” then thanks because you just proved my point . There is indeed an unconscious mind . So if we’re going to actually get to the root of this, you need to stop starting from the conclusion that “I’m creating it because of a false belief im doing intentionally ” and instead acknowledge the possibility that the cause genuinely isn’t known yet. It’s completely unconscious. See?

I can reach a state of absolute zero thought in meditation but there is still some tension in the background . also a hypothetical question: what is memory ? I can right now recall an event that happened when I was 10 years old. Where is that memory stored if there is no subconscious mind ?

I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t agree that I’m deluding myself or consciously creating this issue. The discomfort is real. I’m not choosing to experience it, and I’m not inventing it because of some belief that I’m refusing to acknowledge. The fact that I don’t know the source of the discomfort doesn’t mean the discomfort itself isn’t real. I literally experience something uncomfortable in my mind, and I don’t currently understand where it comes from. That uncertainty is the issue I’m trying to communicate. I also don’t think the main issue is necessarily locating some hidden subconscious belief or turning this into an abstract philosophical question about the “ is there something beyond consciousness for the fuck of it just meaningless abstract philosophy .” Make sure to get that right before projecting . I’m willing to examine my beliefs and be honest with myself. But being honest with myself also means not forcing myself to conclude that I’m creating something when I genuinely don’t believe that I am. I can take responsibility for understanding what’s happening without taking responsibility for having deliberately created it. I do experience discomfort without apparent cause in the surface of consciousness.

I remember very vividly one of the most vivid dreams in my life . It happened in childhood. I saw Jesus in the sky telling me “I’m the truth and light and love and I can heal all your wounds . My love for you is infinite “ . I kid you not , I did actually have that dream . At the time I was agnostic /atheist .

@LastThursday @Lyubov Thanks . I’m going to read and respond soon .