Someone here

Yeah ...what about people who are born into a wealthy family and have won the genetic lottery from the get go ? Ah shit there we go . That doesn't help .Jesus fucking christ .

Good point .yes I agree 👍 Powerful. Thanks. I like the way you blend genius essays with silliness together in your posts hehe.

"Don't become God.. let God become you" . (Honestly this is not my own authored phrase. .I read it in the forum recently but forgot who said it .) So Hojo ..are you sure God is intelligent? If you take a look at the world it's easily seen the world Is fucked up ..middle east is fucked up ..Russia and Ukraine is fucked up ..America has been fucked up for millenia etc So isn't God also equally dumb as he is intelligent? I was always puzzled by Leo claiming absolute attributes to God which has no opposition. Like that God is Love and not Hate and that's an absolute. Etc

Thank you very much 🙏

This is for my own benefit. There is not much to read in this journal. This is just for my own personal development. Not for a reader other than me . I'm realizing an increasing dependency on cigarettes, sugar,porn,music,video games to regulate my mood .I feel like absolute piece of shit whenever a day passes without some or all of these things .I'm confident to say I'm addicted to them . This journal is just a public recoding of trying to quit these things for an entire year ..starting from today 14/11/2024 until Christmas of year 2025 . Then I will see where I will be moving from there . I'm also going to stop posting in the main forums. I will only stick to the journaling section until December 2025. I'm not gonna quit music and video games as I do need something pleasurable to regulate my mood . I'm not ready for a complete monk mood . So I'm going to quit cigarettes and pornography. There we go . Today is day 1. I will keep a day count here .

@Tristan12 also I suggest reading and listening to Robert Adams. He is a an american classical nonduality teacher who died in the 90s. Google his name and read and listen to him.

@Tristan12 Might sound silly to some . but I have deep compassion for you when you said you are afraid to die to not go to a hell realm .. as it plagued me as well. All I can say those notions are gone. Are you familiar with Jim Newman? Also @Princess Arabia is good at conveying this point im about to make . There is just what is immediately appearing already..and no one is separate from this to do anything about this. In seeing this..all problems were left unsolved..yet disappeared. There is simply what already is immediately appearing to happen. This was solved before apparent liberation btw.Even before that it was more or less settled via contemplating alone . Another thing ..If you want to completely be free of those fears..the only real way is to go to hell and die. (I'm speaking metaphorically. chillax mods). The best way.. that I know of..to get to heaven is by gowing to hell and die.. and then eventually wake up in heaven. Use advice at own risk. (Although absolutely speaking..there is no risk..only reward . there is nothing to be afraid of. Everything is temporary. there is nothing bad that can happen to you in the ultimate level)

2 months without smoking . But the cravings are driving me crazy . I literally feel like I'm stressed 24/7 even when I'm resting in my bed ready to dive into deep sleep after taking hot shower and drinking hot herbs . I do everything I can to stay relaxed .but no idea the withdrawal from smoking can be this daunting. I stopped jerking off .but watching porn is also one son of a bitch of a habit . I also want to question the existential nature of porn . This thing called porn is making me question reality itself . Yesterday I've went to jail for few hours .because I had a fight with a drunk guy in the back alley . This motherfucker thinks I was trying to chat up his girlfriend. But my brother came to the police station and paid a bunch of money and got me out. In a way I'm sad because such experiences can grow me as a man . I wish I could spend few weeks in prison . Maybe then smoking and porn will be no option .

I can relate when I was your age . Listen ..there is no other way around doing it until you fucking conquer this world and achieve your dreams by getting the girlfriend you want . It's not easy. It's a numbers game. My hottest and most extroverted friends do get the most dates..but 90% of it is still shit for them too. Then the odd person will not suck. You'll stick together for what... 6 months..2 years? Then do it all again. Same for everyone. Leave your comfort zone.and learn by failing. Try..fail..try again..fail again ..and try once again. To infinity and beyond . What else are you going to do? rape a girl or kill yourself? You know deep down that's cowardness and failure . Succeed. Listen to hypnosis about Success and being an alpha male and a woman magnet .

I don't think there is anyone who has ever succeeded in preventing such situations from happening when one contemplates to end his life . I played around with the idea of suicide plenty in the past . And honestly it is 100% logical . Life in many ways is really such a hell hole. The only thing that prevents me from commenting suicide is...obviously..fear of death . If the suffering got even bigger than that fear I'm gonna say bye bye to this mortal dream drama .

@Santiago Ram I don't exist . I'm just your own mind talking to you . Wake up! Life is but a dream within a dream . no seriously think about it ..anyone who claims Solipsism is true In one breath and then in the next breath talks to others about Solipsism is definitely not awake to Solipsism. There is a difference between being lucid in a dream and playing pretend that you are lucid .

Oh and Fuck Solipsism BTW.

No sir you absolutely have not. Why ? Because who are you posting this thread to if you know there ain't nobody nowhere but YOU? How do you know you are not deluded ? How do you know this is not just spiritual by-passing? How do you know anything?

Yea thats correct . We all gonna die and turn into dust and rot in the end anyways. For what your are looking for here..only physical death will do .

Stop begging the question. You should inquire into whether Solipsism is true or not ..instead of believing its true and then looking for arguments to justify your predisposition.

Now dont judge a book by its title ..hear me out ..I do believe there is a correlation between happiness .. Pleasure.. Pain.. Suffering.. Etc. Tbh there is no such thing as what Buddhist rats call "causeless" happiness. Unless you can explain it to me.. Maybe then i will change my mind. But I do think happiness is a condition. And just like all conditions.. Temporary and unsubstantiated. It's not like you can be happy all the time. You have to experience pain and suffering.thats just part of life isnt that obviously true ..? In fact I'd argue that happiness is only 20% of life (generally). While 30 % is suffering. And the rest 50 % is mundane and boring (just another day). Tbh I'm leaning towards a depressed nihilistic view on life recently. But this nihilism also has been a great pain-killer. I was walking home one evening earlier this year.. my existence shifted with a single passing thought...I was chronically stressed at college overwhelmed by expectations.. grasping for a sense of achievement or greater purpose and tip-toeing towards full-on exhaustion. Then it hit me: “Who cares? One day I will be dead and no one will remember me anyway.” I can’t explain the crashing sense of relief. It was as if my body dumped its cortisol levels and i started crying like a baby . I looked at the sky and thought: “I’m just a chunk of meat hurtling through space on a rock orbiting the sun In the middle of the nowhere. Pointless.. Futile.. meaningless.” It was one of the most comforting revelations in my life.. To discover that real happiness along with other kinds of illusions are indeed illusions. Please anyone reading who are having the best time of their lives like @Aaron p dont get upset or anything.. Im just sharing honest opinions on hope for clearer communication. Don't know if any of you guys ever went through a nihilistic phase in your life. But I'm stuck in one atm . It's kinda like when you are so autisticly smart that you simply can't buy the BS that people use to comfort themselves with in this dumb meaningless weird existence. share whatever comes to mind please!.

Yeah it's difficult no matter how you slice it . You will reap what you sow . And you seem to achieve this high levels of God consciousness after putting incredible amount of work into it . Enjoy the fruits of your hard work .

Yes that seems like a solid reason . Reminds of the parable of the elephant and six blind men ..each one touching a body part of the elephant mistaking it as the whole elephant.

Thanks. Can I achieve this without psychedelics? I like listening to you late at night ..it puts me in a quasi mystical experience..you are right I have no actual consciousness of myself as God. I have just theory from listening to you .

I understand your perspective brother. Its just I'm afraid of going all the way to not lose my mind basically. Your mind is like a quantum computer that keeps processing shit without stop .just take a break and relax and unwind a little. For me personally i value happiness and sanity more than truth .

Beautiful brother! But Leo I have a question..the way you are describing it here appeals to the ego..as if God is only rainbows and butterflies..isn't full consciousness of God reveals that God Is also by virtue of being all that there could ever possibly exist and more ..I say doesn't that mean God has an ugly side if you flip the coin on the Beautiful side ? God is no more beauty and profundity than it is anguish.. Stress.. Pain..sickness.. Death.. Murder.. Rape.. Theft.. Cancer.. Sorrow...depression.. Madness.. Loneliness.. Disability.. Disasters.. Chaos.. Hell.

Thats fine man .all good .thank you for participating.

Could be.

That's correct. Well it's just an axiom I assumed. I have to start somewhere right ?

Yes the gurus are fooling you if they tell you do this to be happy . Happiness is an illusion . there is no happiness in this world .this has been established. Happiness is somewhere else...