Someone here

After researching a lot of methods and techniques to reach mystical states of consciousness.. And what is available to me and what isn't.. I finally decided going to an isolation retreat. I found a nice place "out in the woods" where no one can disturb me. A nice little basement where I can sit by myself all day with zero distractions. Will carry some food and water.. And basic hygiene stuff.. And go there today to start my retreat. I plan to stay there for one week at least. What I'm going to do basically is meditation +contemplation +shamanic practices(chanting and prayers etc) .. Non-stop. Only taking break for food.. Hygiene and sleep etc. And even then I shouldn't wander a lot and keep mindfulness. I'm gonna specifically contemplate the questions : 1 who am I? 2 what is reality? 3 what is god? 4 why is there something rather than nothing? 5 is choice real? I'm not gonna read a single word or intellectualize.. Or parrot what I heard Leo or other spiritual teachers said. Let's pretend that I was just born and I know nothing and im the first human alive. That's where my mindset should be doing this retreat. Ofcourse it's not easy to clean my mind perfectly from what already has been programmed deep into it . That's why I need to meditate a lot to shut down my conceptual mind and just be an ignorant blank slate in full touch with actuality. My goals : Perhaps achieving a mystical state of consciousness.. Sober Increasing my base level of Consciousness. Building some discipline and detoxing from lofty comfy life. Gaining direct insights to deep existential questions. Will post after I finish reporting how it went and sharing anything valuable I found. Cheers.

LOL what? Being is eternal. It was never born and it will never die. It can't go anywhere because it's already everywhere. I'm not sure what happens after you physically die. You can destroy all forms. But you can't destroy the formless. And you are that. This is the realization of immortality. You will never die because you are everything. Whatever is left is you and it can't be otherwise. When you become conscious of that you realize that you are God because you are immortal. Sure the human you will die. But death of the human is just giving up being a someone.

No obviously it doesn't. Your sexuality is highly dependent on your genetics and your childhood fantasies. Whatever you were attracted to in your early teen years and puberty.. That is your true sexual orientation. A better question why would you want to brainwash yourself into changing your sexuality? Whether you're gay or straight.. Do you feel like you're attracted to something you aren't "supposed" to be attracted to?

the truth shall set you free

What views!?. Also don't pretend like you care about more than 5 feets around you.

Why worry about such shit? Rest assured it ain't gonna happen in your lifetime or even your children's children lifetime. For all I can see we are advancing exponentially like crazy. Nothing suggests any sudden inflection. Unless this covid thing is going to annihilate half the population or some similar Hollywood type of scenario.

@Moksha oh boy we got another Absolutist here lol

You don't choose shit. Entire reality is just happening. You are being lived.

I meditate every day for half an hour at least. It was such a leap to expect that I could do a week long continues meditation. I guess you are right. I should do it gradually. Start with one day. And each try aiming for a longer period of time.

As obvious as that might sound.. It's life changing if you fully get this. This is not to be confused with solipsism or anti-realism. I realized this directly after hours of continues contemplating and observation. Actual reality only comes to you through direct experience. An image is real but it is not the thing that it represents. Looking at your hand and thinking about your hand are two different things. One is sense.. one is image. What we gotta get clear about is what is real and what is belief. If you close your eyelids.. your house disappears from your senses right? But you still believe the house exists. But see.. your belief at that point is a concept.. not sensed ..right? That's what it means that your house disappears when you are not conscious of it . Technically what disappeared is your visuals of the house. Your belief that the house is more than that is not in the house but in your head. And those beliefs may persist when you close your eyes.. but your reality of the house.. The visuals have vanished. See the difference here? What I'm trying to show to you is how much of your reality is actually conceptual instead of literal. When you become more mindful of this.. You can start to see that many beliefs you have about what is real and true are in fact false beliefs. Your visual of your house is not your concept of your house. Often times we take the conceptual house and think that that is what is real. No.. technically what is real is your thought as something sensed and the visuals of the house. The thought-story (the meaning of the thought sensed) is not real.. Yet that is what unenlightened people take to be most real. What is the significance of this? Well you can see how 99 %of your so called proplems.. Worries.. Fears.. Are not real?

Well I did both meditation and contemplation. I didn't just want to be present. I wanted to tackle some existential inquiries. For that you need thought process. And what you realize is 100% of your thoughts are not your thoughts. They are programmed shit (voices) from your culture. So it's actually not possible to have a completely assumption-free contemplation. That would be just observing your experience like a new born. Which leads to.. the Truth is simply whatever you are experiencing right now..minus your thoughts about it.

I think you are right. Although I wouldn't say I had a problem with food and stuff. Everything was perfect. The problem is I got extremely bored and agitated. I only allowed breaks for food and sleep etc. Maybe I should give more space for breaks. But I thought this way I'm going to have bigger results. Also I don't want to do it with a group of people. The isolation component is extremely important.

Exactly! The key insight.. is fear is always about "something bad might happen in the future". But where exactly is this "future"? Lol. The future is impossible even in theory! There can only ever be the present lol Genius Peter

@Javfly33 too late lol.

@nistake thanks mate. LOL I only lasted a day and a half. I'm bagging my Stuff and leaving. Couldn't take it any longer lmao. It's way harder than I thought. I remember Leo did a month before. Lol how did he do it? But definitely worth it. I feel much more conscious right now and less lost in monkey mind. Maybe I will give it another try in few weeks lol. The primary insight that I had is.. I see that the present is the only thing that exists. As obvious as that sounds.

What Leo told you. Actually eyes don't exist. It's a concept. Right now if you are 'looking' (that's the whole problem there is no perception going on) at this screen.. There are no eyes.. There is just the screen floating in nothingness.. You imagine eyes to explain away the visual field. As there must be something sourcing the visual field. But the eyes are not sourcing the visual field. The eyes ARE the visual field! And what you see in the mirror is not you btw.

@LastThursday LOL not sure if I'm gonna continue. Will see just taking 3-5 hours break from contemplation. you can't understand what I'm talking about from your current level of Consciousness. you are lost in conceptualizing. seeing is an appearance. Eyes are a different appearance The eyes don't see. You have no experience of the eyes seeing anything. They are distinctions happening within consciousness. The visual field is occurring exactly where is it occurring. It is not occurring in your eyes lmao . Or in your so called brain. It is occurring exactly where it is occurring. Just like the 'dream world' at night.. It appears as if the dream character's eyes are seeing the dream world. But actually it's consciousness who is appearing as eyes.. As sight.. As world.

I'm on my isolation retreat atm..I'm taking a three hours break to settle down otherwise I'm gonna have a mental breakdown lmao from the levels of consciousness I'm accessing.. Not sure if I'm gonna continue.. Will see. Amazing stuff I became conscious of. What the actual fuck lmao. @LastThursday the eye is not seeing... it is just 'eyeing'. It is the appearance of an eye. As one looks into someone's eyes.. one is looking at an image. Behind the image and within it are nothing. The image has no 'behind' or 'within'.. any more than the image in an 'apparent nightly dream' has a 'behind' or 'within'. There is no 'spark' or 'focal point' or 'bit' of consciousness in.. or associated with the image seen. One is wholly present. One is not divided into 'bits' or 'loci' or any other differentiators. Wtf.

@Adamq8 thanks. Mindfulness meditation. Just being present with whatever is present. Cutting any wandering into the past or future.. Or concepts.

@Ananta thank you Ananta. Appreciate your support

Yeah I remember... There was like thousands of such days.. The Romans were not screwing around.... But which one you mean?

It plays a role but notice that it's not inclusive. For example experiencing pain or discomfort can come on its own accord without any relationship to "desires" like getting sick or losing a loved ones. So then comes aversion to "bad" stuff. That also plays a role. And these are just only two factors. Suffering stands on its own. It's a thing in and of itself. It is it's own cause. It's not related entirely to your desires and aversions. If we slice your body into a half you gonna suffer no matter what.

@from chaos into self I am that I am. This is about as clear as it gets ?

It can't be said or defined. You can't encapsulate the infinite and explain it away with a bunch of words like "everything".. "nothing" .. "eternal".. "infinite". These are yet more attributes. The essence of God (being) itself is a total mystery (mystical) and it will remain like that. Forever. You underestimate that God is INFINITE. Sit down and contemplate what INFINITE means untill it breaks your mind. Infinity allows you to be God and not God simultaneously. This is not a contradiction. That's exactly right. You are God and not God at the same time.

@from chaos into self are you conscious of that or do you just Believe it?.. OP is being very honest that his experience as a human that is vulnerable to suffering is not quite God-like. If God is imagining himself to be a human.. That means right now you are not God. You are just human. God has seperated himself from himself to experience what it's like to pray to himself but without knowing that he is praying to himself. Ultimately yes you are God. But most likely you are not conscious of that right now. Which is why you shouldn't parrot it.