Someone here

Of course it does matter deeply to a teenager for example. unlike an old man with dead libido. It doesn't matter that much for him And you said "the only thing that matters".. Idk if you were serious.. Obviously air, food and water matter as well. And matter more. Survival comes first.

False.

TRUTH is YOU. You cannot seek the truth simply because you are the truth. You cannot search.. Seek.. And find that which you already are. There is no process. You cannot learn the truth. Truth is totally effortless and is nearer to you then breathing. It can only be allowed and recognized. Your seeking it.. Veils it. Get out of your own way. The problem is you don't seek the truth (you can't seek it.. It's already available) what you really seek to end seeking.. Which Is the end of you. Because you are that seeking energy that is never satisfied with just what is.

"Desire is the root of suffering " Buddha

I'm going through a desireless phase in my life.. Where I pretty much aim for nothing. Because I see everything as a fleeting experiences that don't bring lasting fulfillment. To transcend desire.. Isn't that the Greatest win? Because You arrive only when you git rid of the idea of the destination.. When you achieve a desire.. It spawns into more desires.. Because when desire is achieved it just multiply.. And you run after them and never arrive. Now I'm left with aimless attitude.. saying.. what's left now.. if there is nothing to achieve.. what's the point of getting out of bed ? what's the point to anything ? what's the point of being ? if there is nothing to aim for.. there is nothing to build. do I just have to cry. laugh.. and do all the mundane things like being ? The only thought of having nothing to deal with makes me neutral sad. is being the end ? what's left to discover ? what's left to create ? is it boringness is all that is left ? I wasn't into this work for not suffering, I was here to improve.. now that I see there is nothing to improve.. what's left inside me ?

No it isn't.

Leo says everything is Consciousness.. And after contemplating this enough I think it's not quite accurate. Because consciousness implies something that is conscious and another substance that it is conscious of.. A subject and object. A perceiver and a perceived. and that process is Consciousness. So 'you' are conscious of existence. That's a duality. When we say everything is Consciousness.. The problem is that the conventional meaning of the word consciousness rings duality (perceiver and perceived). Whereas upon closer investigation.. It turns out everything just is. There is no perception process going on.. So there is no consciousness in that sense. Unless what is meant is sound and sight and other phenomenon.. It's the same thing... The most accurate description is that reality is being. Because everything just is being itself. It's not perceiving itself or conscious of itself. For example you might think that your eyes see the world.. There's false.. Your eyes are just being the appearance of an eye.. And the visual field occurs exactly where is it occurs.. And they are distinct. And each one just is being itself.. The eye doesn't perceive the world.. The eye is just eyeing and the world is just worlding. Am I missing something?

@BlackMaze I'm not advocating nihilism.. Nor am I saying it's the "right" way to live. There is no right or wrong way to live. I'm just in that nihilistic mode right now and that's all. It's what it is.

.. Isn't that what you called a dualistic projection?? I am conscious is a duality .. It implies a me that owns a separate thing called "consciousness" and it implies a separate object that I am conscious of.. Well it's not so obvious. If we look closely.. There is cluster of phenomenon happening but there is no one separate from them. You could say there is only consciousness without someone being conscious which is what I mean by "being".. But "I am conscious" is really not what's happening here If we Investigate deeper.

I like this. Couldn't agree more ?

@Inliytened1 I guess my point is that when I'm looking at an object.. There is really no me and no looking happening.. It's just the image of the object. that's all there is. So it's not accurate to say I'm conscious of the object or the substance of reality is Consciousness as in "perception". I guess "being" is closer.

@Juliano Zn there is no perception. No perceiver or perceived. That's just a conceptual interpretation and projection. There is just what is.. Without any conceptual overlay.

I get it.. All that is my dualistic projection upon "being". Because we use consciousness to say "I'm conscious of X". So the word itself has a dualistic implication inherent in it. We use "consciousness" in a dualistic way in language. If you agree with me that perception is an illusion then I think the word 'being' might be preferable than consciousness because it gets confused with perception. No you got the point right.

Because hedonism is a trap.

@Dodo yea I don't buy this.. When you're dead you're dead and that's it. Probably. Or we don't know. I'm stuck in nihilism. not in some psychotic manic depression right now my anxiety is actually relatively low and I'm very calm/even if you were to see me talk or behave in real life. But this terror is still there. I'm staring at death. Complete impermanence. Staring at the complete futility and absolute meaninglessness of everything. It's not going anywhere.. it's not doing anything. There's no goals..no ambitionsmm ..no hope..it's just this. The meaninglessness.. The fact that the meaninglessness is absolutely irrefutable. Pointless. The step ahead is complete self annihilation and the fear holds me back. It involves sacrificing everything . Absolutely everything. My sanity... my connection to my family.. but most of all me me me .

I mean when yo die its light off forever. So it will be as if you never even existed. That makes all your striving In life futile. No I'm saying nothing needs to happen In Order for you to be satisfied. Because you will never be satisfied with "things" because they are finite and limited and you go on chasing them forever and you never satisfy your desire. You never escape desire while in an embodied form and maybe even never escape it beyond that. You merely change from one desire to another. My solution to tackling lower desires that might be detrimental to you is to taste the elegance of the highest experience or realization. Then you will naturally focus on that.. and your life will have more net positivity than negativity. Of course the highest experience isn’t some heroin high. It’s God. Experience God.. and you will want to experience more. This will slowly reduce your desires for everything else. I can’t even give a shit about playing video games when I literally used almost every free moment of my teenage years playing games. Making money doesn’t interest me nearly as much. The same can be said for sex and everything else. They have all become secondary or even lower on the priority list. I have no answers to those metaphysical questions. I don't claim to know that. All I know and I'm aware of is that all there is.. Is the present moment. This experience right now is all of reality. And it has no explanation and no previous causes. It's 100 % mystical. I've contemplated and deeply deconstructed reality to the point where I'm beginning to be on the cusp of loosing control and going insane. So don't bare with me if you like lol

@EmptyVase Me thinks if you experimented with what hunger actually is.. you might find its resistance to doing the work needed to get full.. rather than the lack of fullness itself. If you're walking to the shops to buy food.. there aint suffering right in the midst of the pure doing the walking to the shops. Theres only suffering when you stop doing what will make you full(shop being closed). So instead of viewing desire as something that has to be quenched.. you can view it as a signal or reminder to maximize whatever it takes to get into that pure doing state. Then its fully quenched until that changes. Sometimes the doing feels so good that the result aint worth it in the end. Sometimes what you desired wasnt the lobster but the jog to the shops.. sometimes what you desired is the growth from the doing, rather then the result from the doing. Sometimes you'll discover that thinking a desire will only be quenched once you manifest it causes suffering and a whole load of problems like fear you'll never manifest it, getting upset when results dont go your way.. toxic pickup mentality.. toxic work culture.. etc whereas if you reframed it to realizing the doing = the quenching and satisfaction itself.. those myrad of problems dissolve.

Considering their child-like innocent state.. They live completely and comfortably in the present moment and they act according to their instincts directly without much conceptual bullshit and belief systems etc. They seem to not indulge in unnecessary thinking about the past and the future. Cats for example are so zen if you ever saw one.

I know. They mean it in a timely way. . Lol. Me too. 'Some years ago' before having any moments of altered consciousness but I already had meditated for a while and listened some Leo, s videos of questioning beliefs/spirituality...etc.. I was with my father in a village near my city and we were looking at a roman bridge.. and I suddenly got this intuition/insight downloaded inside my mind.. and I said to him "Do you realize that we actually haven't been in the roman empire/we only have lived since x years.. so we really haven't had in real proof that romans existed?" "Ye.. the proof astronomically but it just feels from our experience there is also 0% proof that they existed". Do they? If time is non-existent.. reality exists since "I" was born. So my consciousness has created a story about a "past",.which created the culture I live in (which also a creation of consciousness) Romans existed but only in my hallucination..didn´t they? In the moment consciousness stopped creating a story about romans and an historical past, there are no romans anymore.. right? actually contemplate this.. How do you know you were even born or had a childhood? Even if you have video evidence of your mother giving birth to you.. it proves nothing. That would be you looking at a baby being born and identifying with it as you - but that thing on the screen is not you. The baby being born in the video is a facsimile and a mirage on magnetic tape To know if you were born you would very literally have to go back in time and re-experience at first hand being born. So.. the problem is: there is no time. All other evidence is second hand and not to be trusted no matter how convincing. "Romans" is just a concept i have.. made up of hundreds of little interconnected factoids. Romans for me.. exist right now,.. as a mental web of concepts. All I'm doing is identifying the concept "Romans" with the concept "Past"

@Forestluv I wanna make sure it's not a matter of disagreement over words. You can use the word "now" or "present moment" or "infinity" or tuna sandwich if you like... It's pointing to the same thing. Direct experience. a look at your hands .. That's what I mean by "now". Not relative to anything. Now is an absolute. It exists but without any contrast. Can you find a contrast to direct experience? "the past" is just a thought appearing as now. The past is really just memory. And what are memories? Thoughts. And what are thoughts? They are Now. So when you get down to it.. The past is now lol. I think I agree.. As I said it's not a matter of semantics. ISness is what I mean by now.

No. You can't deny the now because obviously here it is. However we don't need future \ past timeline because it's quite literally doesn't exist in direct experience anywhere else but in the now. Now is evident and undeniable and it doesn't need a past to be now as opposed to it. Imagine this moment is completely contextless and happening nowhere and no when.

There is literally nothing but what's happening right now. The past is just a thought in your head.. Which is also happening right now. It's quite radical to realize this but quite obvious as well.

It's because we are under the illusion that there is a goal.. the goal is real. In that illusion there is a constant movement away from THIS. . It is a perpetual denying of this just being. The movement away from this makes it appear real and seem like there is something to achieve or get.. in order to achieve fulfillment. The fullfilment is never satisfied permanently.. only through quick fixes.. which actually is the satisfaction of fulfilling/feeding the energy of needing.. for a moment. When this is only real and you deny the unreality that this is too.you are off balance and unsatisfied.

Nah its the same thing. We all know we're gonna die.. and if you keep reflecting on it you will drive yourself crazy . So you forget about it completely until you literally kinda stop believing in it.. So that you can continue living your life. And btw.. Death is completely uncertain. Nothing is certain aside from the present moment. So no one actually knows if life is short or gonna die. How about this?

Nothing will change. You already know it. You already know that you gonna die and you don't seem to give a fuck about it.