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I understand what you're saying. I will try to explain my point again briefly.... Consciousness is changing and morphing all the time. We are not even sure about that fuzzy line that distuinghes "illusion" from "reality" . Because we experience dreams but we know that dreams are not real. Or less real than the waking world . So how can we trust that which decives us every night when we dream? Of course we can't. The only element that is present in both states of "illusions" and "reality" is the fact that the experience is happening or being experienced or held within Consciousness. Therefore the Consciousness of any experience is the only sure thing that we cannot doubt about reality. Does that make sense?

What do you mean "I'm not a man "? ? I mean I'm not non-binary . Or do you think that gender is a social construct as Leo talked about . Idk there is a lot of social expectations from men and how they should act and what it means to be masculine. To be the provider of a family .to work hard .Work your ass off every day all day to put food on the table. I think the main challenge for men today is the difficulty that comes with shedding old-fashioned ideas of masculinity. The idea of treating sex as a reward for hard work, promoting the idea of harassing women or almost tricking women into sex, was really normalised for me as a kid through a lot of TV and films, even family-friendly. On top of that, I grew up in a friendship group of guys who only knew how to communicate to each other through insults and jokes at each other’s expense, and it’s taken me years of actively fighting that to stop myself from just being mean to my male friends. Every now and again I’ll still do it, almost as a reflex, but I try my best to be more kind and complimentary. But I think it’s so difficult for men today to retrain their brains and behaviours, because so many of us are brought up to act a certain way

You are dead wrong. If there is no substance to reality, how come it exists ? It must be made up of something, no ? Otherwise what are these objects and perceptions you see around you all the time ? And There is only one fucking substance out of which everything is made. Which is consciousness. And this is not speculation or mental masturbation..apparently you are conscious right now .and everything in your experience is held within your consciousness. Consciousness is simply everything and anything. This is Consciousness. That is consciousness. You are consciousness. The brain is consciousness. Anything you think or possibly doubt in a million years that isn't consciousness IS fucking consciousness... Tada! And it can't be "defined" because there is nothing which is not consciousness to define consciousness in terms of it. That's why it's a mystery.

What I meant is that there is three forms to the same substance. Liquid ,ice and steam . Yet the three are one substance. They are water . So the real is the H2O molecule despite the different shapes and forms it takes. Similarly..consciousness can take different forms. Infinity of forms actually. But consciousness is the substance of everything. And it doesn't change as the substance. However it can take different forms. These forms are changing all the time .so they cannot be the bedrock of existence. Consciousness alone as a substance is .

Yeah great video from Leo . Though technically what I'm pointing out in this post is that we can't be certain of the ontological standards of our experience (dream ,awake ,simulation, brain in a vat etc). We can only be certain that we are conscious right now. and conscioconsciousness is the only real certain thing. I mean your first person subjective experience of the world . Right now..you reading my answer on a forum to the question , “How is it possible to be certain that I am not dreaming right now?”, you are a mortal human; as such, you are experiencing the Dream of Mortal Life. You can ascertain right now that your mortal life is merely a dream by committing suicide. Unfortunately, even if you kill yourself, you will awaken in a second dream . You will at that point again believe that you really are a human; but that will also be a dream. You would then need to kill your human self to be awakened from your human state. At that point, you would know that you are an eternal human, who was having the Dream of Mortal Life.

When I hear the world masculinity, I think of the very stereotypical stuff that’s often lampooned in media : rugged beard, chopping wood, not talking about feelings, watching second world war films and going to football games. I’ve come to dislike what the word stands for. It’s not like I’m super far away from things you’d expect from someone “masculine” .. I enjoy football, I play a lot of video games, I’m tall and well-built and fairly hairy. But I also like complimenting my friends on how they look, talk about my feelings etc.

How about caring and protecting a family. Is that a sole responsibility on a man alone?...My identity as a man is centered around my family. I have done my best to love, support and provide for them and feel that I did a pretty good job even when faced with hardships. I believe that respecting others, doing the right thing, and a hint of altruism is essential to being a decent man.

Yes .Sex is overrated. Check out this thread of mine :

@meadow I'm open to constructive criticism. But he is just trolling and wasting my and his time .

A common mistake guys do when they are trying to approach girls is they want to act macho and masculine. Overly masculine to the point they are not being themselves. They are acting .and girls are very sensitive to that .they can sense your inauthenticety. You don't magically become a man with bigger arms, a bigger truck, a bigger salary, a bigger house, or a bigger penis. These are fronts When you tie your masculinity to external stuff, you're living and breathing from a position of neediness. You're saying: "Here, look at how big my stuff is. Do you approve of me yet? Do you like me yet? Am I man enough yet?” Instead, let go. Let go of caring about her approval of your conversation topics, of your apartment, of the size of your bank account. Let go of caring about her approval of your job title, your resume, or your car. When you let go, you become vulnerable. And when you make yourself vulnerable, you display confidence ,true confidence. You're saying: "I don't need your approval, because I love myself just the way I am." When you live like this, you will become more masculine. And you’ll also become a helluva lot more attractive to women.

Simple and short guide to attain enlightenment or liberation. You are basically composed of two things..the body and the mind . Taking good care of the body is all that is required in this aspect . The mind is the real Trickster .The mind gives you thoughts all the time . Good thoughts,bad thoughts, happy thoughts, sad thoughts etc. All you gotta do is to recognise that you are not your thoughts. They are like passing clouds in the sky .you are the sky. The ever-present awareness. And by your very nature you are already awake .but thoughts cover the sky and make it seem like you are in a low state of consciousness or state of ignorance. Your job is to be . Not be this or that. Just be . Being alone is enough. Silence also is a core pillar. The more you spend time in solitude drowning in silence the more what I said will makes sense to you . Your true nature is like the state of deep sleep .pure empty formless consciousness. The waking state and the dream state are superimposed on that original state . All you gotta do is relax .relax your mind .by simply focusing on the space between thoughts. That space between thoughts is crucial. If you can expand that space and remain thoughtless as long as possible the more you will start experiencing unconditional peace. Serenity and pure joy . P.S listen to this video as you meditate or fall asleep . Wonderful pointers from nisargadatta maharaj Peace &love ✌

Because you fear death .

That's an interesting one. I'm trying to do the same .I also use a homemade fleshlight made of simple equipments like a an emptied Pepsi can and two sponges covered with gloves and olive oil as a lube. I'm not sure if it will work . I also I'm trying to hit the 90 days nofap challenge. Perhaps all I need is to take a long break from wanking it to let the skin regrow again and becomes sensitive again.

I know a lot of you guys here struggle with porn and masturbation addiction and it's affecting your life negatively (not everyone, so if you have no problems with porn then this thread is not for you ). Here is a simple hack that will help you overcome porn addiction : Reward yourself . Say if you manage to do nofap today you will allow yourself to eat ice cream..if you manage to do nofap for a week you will allow yourself to play video games ..etc you get the idea. Very simple but very effective Of course you can reward yourself for abstaining from porn with anything except porn itself !I know some of you are just funny. What you have to understand is that this is a serious addiction . To overcome it you can't depend on logic alone ...otherwise we would all do nofap effortlessly , But the human brain is FUCKING stupid .when you present to it an endless pool of naked women doing all kinds of sexual acts just a click away from your finger tips ..your brain gets fucked in his ass and starts to operate illogically.so we have to trick our brains by these kinds of hacks to make nofap actually rewarding by doing something pleasurable (besides porn) after your nofap achievement to make your brain associates it with pleasure ..so now you are making yourself addicted to nofap . the brain is 95% subconscious and 5 %conscious ..so when the urge hits ..the brain doesn't give a flying shit about our long term well being ..it only wants short term pleasure..this is why after you relapse you are like"fuck what am I fucking stupid or What?!" Yes your brain is stupid ..just a dog wants pleasure and run away from pain..so you gotta trick it and associate nofap with short term pleasure to motivate it to succeed . They've done an experiment on rats ..they conduct their bodies with heroin which get injected to them if they click on a button...beileve it or not the rats keep pushing the button and get heroin surges until they died in few minutes. Now ..the primitive parts of our brain is like that..it doesn't mind if you kill yourself by overdosing on porn .it just wants dopamine. This is why you need to trick your stupid brain in order to overcome any addiction. Any questions. Feel free to ask .

I think the issue is masturbation not porn . You can't get physical desensitisation in your penis from merely watching people fuck on a screen. It's the death grip that's causing that it my estimation.

Which one? Can you link it ?

Just Google it. "Olive oil for penile sensitivity ".

@GreenWoods Happiness is internal as it’s not the object itself that brings happiness, it is our perception of it. Two people could be presented with the same thing and react completely differently. It’s also internal as happiness is an emotion. There would be no happiness if the person was not there to experience it. internal is vital,sometimes you can’t force your happiness cuz you feel empty inside,even you work hard to create it. And sometimes you will feel happy even without trying hard. So,internal happiness is the determinant of external happiness.

I use a homemade fleshlight. I made it from sponge and gloves and olive oil as a lubricant. Here :

What does it mean ?

Yeah I'm planning to Not touch it for three months In hope to regain the sensitivity. I Will also apply olive oil to it daily and see how that works out . Idk there is certainly creams and products I Can use for this sort of issue but I Didn't find any online . Maybe I Should go to a pharmacy and ask there.

@GreenWoods No. Happiness solely depends on how we see things, since everything we see and sense is through our subjective perception of reality. Thus if we change our perception, viewpoint in the right way, we can change how we see, experience reality around us. On the other hand in order to change our inherently selfish, egoistic and hateful nature and perception ..that gives us the picture, movie of this hostile, dark, self-destructive world ..we need external factors, the proper “laboratory conditions”: the perfect, purposeful environment. It sucks.

Thoughts come from nowhere and from everywhere! I think both contain an element of truth. Subjectively, our thoughts come from nowhere: they just pop into our heads, or emerge in the form of words leaving our mouths. Objectively, we can say that thoughts emerge from neural processes, and that neural processes come from everywhere. What I mean by this is that the forms and dynamics of thought are influenced by everything that has a causal connection with you, your society, and your species

@GreenWoods look ...In general happiness depends upon the way you perceive life External factors may make your day, and make you smile, but if you are not happy, or are sad in the first place, they will not make you happy. Happiness is a decision. a choice, and it comes from within, not from without.

I'm done arguing with you . This is pointless.