Someone here

Bro you just don't know the Indian society very well. I don't agree with calling it imaginary. We are not living on our own like our ancestors or like animals in the jungle. Each society has its own cultural norms . You can't for example equate the values and cultural norms of American society with Indian society.thats just absurd. in our society a young woman or even a man can never find their life partner on their own. Hence, parents take up this responsibility even if no one has asked them to do so. They decide the fate of their kids’ dating lives even though their kids have grown up and become adults. This lack of belief amongst parents in their kids’ choice for their life partner, coupled with the security issues and fear that their kids, especially daughters, would end up marrying someone from another community/religion, has affected the dating environment in India. That’s why dating in India, unlike in Western countries, never got its space to become acceptable like arranged marriages. Many consider it a part of Western culture, even though dating doesn’t have any nationality. The middle-class blames dating on rich people’s timepass and expect their kids to stay away from dating in order to focus on studies and thereby become successful in life. And among many rural populations in our society, dating doesn’t even enter their dictionary. It’s often a taboo for them, even assuming it to be a sort of hidden prostitution. Hence, even though there are dating sites and apps available for people to connect and meet, due to the above reasons, finding a date online becomes difficult. In fact, unlike in Western countries, dating sites in India have added boundaries of caste, religion, language etc. that make the app almost a rehearsal for marriage. It isn’t surprising that many dating sites have become matrimony sites. This doesn’t happen in other countries, where dating often involves meeting, understanding and liking each other in person without such superficial barriers. That is what dating should ideally have been in India. So I guess if I ever want to get married or get laid ..I need some girl not from India. I guess yes. I want to marry a blondie

Yes I know. But trust me there are lots of singles here in India for cultural reasons. not everyone wants to be single though but Many want to fall in love, date someone and thus find a soulmate for life. But many realise that it’s difficult to find that in India. We see thousands of desperate questions being asked on Reddit and Quora on why it is so difficult to find a date in India. Why is Indian society so obsessed with arranged marriages? I find there are many reasons for this harsh reality of dating in India. One of the important reasons is the strong influence of family, caste and religion in Indian society. The roots of family lineage and traditions have deepened over centuries in India. That’s why for any family, it becomes a matter of family status to marry their daughter or sister into an equal status family. The same logic applies to caste and religion. The trio of these superficial concepts has destroyed the dating fabric in Indian society. One finds it difficult to go against their family, community and religion by dating or marrying someone who does not belong to the same community. You are right. Im obviously not ready to marry at this current life situation. But what are the alternatives? I feel needy and desperate to find a girl with whom I fall in love with. I also can't use porn and masturbation as I have decided finally that it's not healthy for me . I guess I will just have to spend some time and effort before being able to achieve my dreams .

Lol .if you are attracted to girls then you are not gay. If you like dicks..high chance that you are bisexual

1. Is there a way to have an orgasm without ejaculation? I always feel drained after I cum .some people here opened my mind to the possibility of having an orgasm without ejaculating semen . I'm curious to know if that's actually possible..and if it is possible..how do I do it ? 2.women can have multiple orgasms that last for 15 minutes. While men can only orgasm for 9 seconds . It's just "one and done, she has way much fun ". Is it possible for a man to have multiple orgasms that last for quite few minutes. And without ejaculating. 3. This one is rather embarrassing. But I find a dick more attractive than a vagina. Idk why. Something about a long hard dick arouses me . I don't think I'm gay. But I know for sure that I'm bisexual as I experience sexual attraction to both males and females. I like girls more .from head to toe.but the only part I find more attractive in a man is his dick. Looking at a pussy doesn't turn me on . Its just a hole. Whereas dicks seem arousing and attractive to me . That's why lately I'm watching tranny porn (,girls that have dicks),. I don't understand why is that . I know this part is a bit embarrassing and emasculating. But please guys mo trolling comments or I might delete this thread altogether if I get trolling comments about my sexuality. ?

Lol I also thought the same. It wasn't until I started seeing naked women on porn that I knew they had different genitalia than us men. Good old days .?

Yes i agree . I would day 80% of porn has absolutely nothing to do with how real sex works . The major focus is on the penetration. No focus on intimacy, kissing, eye contact etc

I hope this topic is not too controversial lol Let's be honest...... It's near impossible for a guy to stop scratching his dick or looking into hot stuff online every now and then .. Sex is a natural desire like food and water. But one should be mindful in using it because it can easily turn into addiction or a substitute for the real thing. I still from time to time feel an urge to go solo . But .. Most porn is actually fake robotic boring sex that has nothing to do with real sex lol.. Real sex =intimacy and playfulness not just in and out robotic exercises .. I wanna touch my girl.. Smell her.. Feel her..etc. Recently I discovered a audio porn site that is focused more on intimate sex.. Not going into details but it focuses more on the intimacy part and the foreplay.. I thought wow that's really what I'm looking for.. Then I wonder why most porn companies don't produce scenes that are actually real-like instead of this fake boring shit lol?????? also men want intimate sex. My point is what I see in let's say 70 % of porn has nothing to do with what real sex is about.. I mean ofcourse it's sex and all but I mean I don't want to just insert my penis in a vagina while staring at the wall and the woman is staring at the window or something.. wtf is that l? Given that the content is almost endless.. It's a shame that you have to spend some time searching fot something that actually grabs your attention.. At least that's how it is for me .

Yes I'm Indian.but I live in Thailand nowadays. But I have to come back to India before mid June to start my new semester in uni . Dating in India is not easy. Ask any twenty-something guy and you will hear a heart-wrenching tale of rejections and disappointments. The proportion of number of men to women on dating apps like Tinder is worse than the gender ratio in Haryana. While a regressive conventional attitude has been suffocating our women since ages, it has also been depriving our men of a fair treatment in the dating game, and in life in general. We look at some dating concepts in India that are so fundamentally flawed you would wonder how is dating is even possible in India, and will make you hold on to your Valentine for life. We Indians still haven't warmed up to the concept of casual dating. Whatever happened to the idea of some harmless fun? Not every relationship can be a serious thingy. As adults, we have a right to enjoy intimacy without the emotional atyachaar of a serious relationship. No wonder, the youth is frustrated. But that doesn't happen here .

Women in my country are pretty introverted and Conservative. They don't fuck outside of marriage. We are a very Conservative society. Its not like I live I the US or Canada. Now of course there are sluts and prostitutes everywhere. But I want deep connection with a female not some flimsy one night deal. I do want to fall in love with a woman .to marry her and to raise children. Why not? Well obviously I'm still not ready for that as I'm still a uni student with no job who lives in his mom's basement lol. So what do you suggest I should do right now ?

Thanks for the tough love

You are right. Im definitely not ready . But on the other hand how am I supposed to handle my cravings for sex and intimacy? It's seems like porn and masturbation are the only substitute. But I have decided that these are unhealthy for me and I made a decision to stop. That'd why marriage is the only option left for me . see, marriage has the potential to be your best decision or your worst nightmare. Nowadays, it seems it is more often the latter. India, as on 2018 had one of the least divorce rates in the world at less than 1%. That does not mean the rest 99% of people are happily married. It is just that even after many reforms, divorce is still a tedious process (especially in India) and people who are stuck in toxic and abusive environments are unable to get out of it. I’ve seen what marriage does to people. Up close. I've seen people ruin their otherwise wonderful life by getting into marriage without knowing what they’re signing up for, before giving a thought about what it takes to make a marriage work. I've had a friend who married a girl whom he didn't even know well, (In India, we have this thing called ‘arranged marriage’- which kind of reminds me of Russian roulette) only to realize that she was schizophrenic. It's wasn’t the girl’s fault, no one chooses to be a schizophrenic, but it wasn't the fault of the guy either. He trusted his parents' choice, which apparently was made after a thorough ‘background check.’ Finally, he ended up paying almost his entire life's savings as alimony.

I agree . I'm being needy and childish. I struggle a lot with that . Hopefully with enough life experience I can change . The woman will come sooner or later ,but I have to build an Attractive life around me first .

What do you mean lol? That me acting desperate and needy will never get me laid ? Because I kinda agree with that.

Thanks for the detailed post . First of all about my addictions..There is no single personality type that is more prone to addiction. Anyone can become addicted to substances like drugs and alcohol or certain behaviors like gambling. While certain traits are sometimes shared by people who develop addictions, these traits are not consistent and not everyone with an addiction has these traits. Like my addiction to smoking and watching porn . I think those two are so common today and it has nothing to do with my personality traits . And no I'm not bipolar and don't suffer from any "official" mental illness. Except maybe some anxiety that I take medication for. About marriage or a relationship that involves children, the man is “usually” expected to be the major breadwinner, contribute in cooking, cleaning, raising of kids, and on weekends maintain the car, house and garden. On top of this he is expected to be a mind reader who is completely tuned into and taking care of the emotional and physical needs of his women. You are right. I'm not in a position in my life that I can stand that. I need to build myself and my life first .

Nowadays I value : Achievement Balance Creativity Curiosity Faith Honesty Humor Justice Knowledge Learning Optimism Peace Responsibility Self-Respect Success Wisdom

Hard to tell because my values change and shift all the time due to life experience. Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change. For example, when you start your career, success measured by money and status might be a top priority. But after you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more. As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced... and you can't quite figure out why. As one go through the life..one should bear in mind that values that were important in the past may not be relevant now.

@Carl-Richard please move this to the dating section. thanks

Is it better to save one to let a thousand die? Every law is for and against some. Should the majority or minority be the one against? Are a hundred rights better than a thousand rights? In the ideal government, should the majority or minority be the dominant political influence? Whose suffering is greater by restricting laws, the majority or minority? In the USA today, who has the most political influence, the majority or minority?

It all depending on the choices being chosen by the government. As a matter of statistics you cannot make everyone happy all the time. For instance, if I were king of the forest, I'd redistribute the great wealth/resources, there in equality among all. Everyone would have sufficient food, housing, clothing, education, medical, etc... Yeah, the super-rich will be unhappy that they no longer have it all. Tough. Thety can move if they don't like it, but they cannot take it all with them. Violent crime would be severely and summarily dealt with. The bodies of anyone found with a gun would be spinning in the breeze as examples. There would be less 'freedoms' to harm others. But it would be much more peaceful. Some would be unhappy that they can no longer victimize others. Tough. And if it's perceived by enough people as bad enough, there is always revolution. It is human nature to take things for granted. Give em food, housing, education, medical, etc... and eventually they will be unhappy that they all do not have Mercedes rather tha Hyundai. And the wheel turns again, perhaps to reinvent democracy and avoid the 'wrong turns' that has finally brought it to failure.

I contest your supposition that 'intelligent' and 'informed' individuals are more inclined to vote. In fact, in the recent special elections regarding tax hikes in California, the majority of voters did not show up. The consensus theory was that the only voters who showed up were the ones who were informed and did care. Additionally, who's to say the shepherd is always the best choice for his? Consider the misled, benevolent shepherd, who does not know his way but has the best intentions. He leads his flock to their death even with their well-being in mind. Even the most wise King has met his demise as a result of fate.

For society to exist, the majority must decide, but also consider the ideas of the minority, this is democracy. In USA ..The States are left to their own devices within reason, they are limited by a set of base governances/guidance laws that can be "adjusted" when properly taken before congress and agreed upon, they cannot be a fully "United States" if they are not at leaste base unity set up.

No group of citizens ought to have more power than any other group of citizens. The government should be striped of its domestic abilities through constitutional restrictions that put the States, Cities, and Towns in charge of caring for the needs of the people.

I would assume most agree that the law should neither exclusively go against the minority nor the majority, but that it protects each in some respects and goes against them in others (except perhaps the small few who believe in true popular sovereignty, that would subordinate their own definition of the good to the popular one, regardless of what it be).

I also want kids . My sister recently gave birth to a baby . He is beautiful and cute .I'm a little bit jealous. Why not me ? Why can't I be a father? Well I guess that takes work to achieve.

So I need a fresh start in my life . I need to take shit seriously more . This journal is to document my process of becoming a man of principle .basically I'm trying to get my shit together in life . Somethings need to change . I need to quit : Smoking. Porn and masturbation. Junk food . Mental masturbation. Procrastination. spending too much time in this forum mentally masturbating. University's new semester begins in mid June . My plan is to finish my business degree. Find a job so that I can afford myself buying a house and finding a girl to marry. This will require time and effort and dedication. It's not a one night deal. Its a life long journey to my dream life. One of my goals also to work out an build a strong body . I can't go to the gym for reasons I'm not going to mention here. But have some basic equipments in the house so I can workout at home . I won't be posting a lot in this journal because there isn't enough micro details to report everyday. To notice a macro significant change will require years of dedication and work towards the right thing and avoiding the bad stuff .