Someone here

I choose sex as the main subject of this journal because I fucking love women, love orgasms, love licking women and being sucked by women. Sex is good and right. What's not to love. Pussies need fucking. Somebody's gotta do it! Although I'm deprived from it .all my relationships with it come from porn and masturbation. So I will be discussing that too .soon enough, I guess.

Can you think before you ask ?

What does it mean?

Girls are confused. In one of my cold approaches I walked up to a girl and asked her about her name ..her first reaction was smiling at me ..and I immediately took that as a good signal. But then she kept denying me from knowing her name..saying that "why should I tell my name to a stranger? ". And I told her because I find you attractive and I want to get to know you . Then she told me her name and we even exchanged phone numbers . Then she disappeared. Didn't answer to me texting her .etc and that's what always happen when I talk to an attractive girl. These kind of girls are so innocent and inexperienced that they feel shy and disturbed if a guy hits on her .

@itsadistraction yes . Practice makes perfect. As Leo mentioned in his getting laid series that you should do triple digits number of cold approaches in the last year to increase your chances . If you approach 100 girls every month ..chances are you will get lucky at least once or twice . But I have a question..you didn't address what I call "the introverted syndrome ". Most guys these days are emasculated. They are immature slob boys ..they play video games 24/7 and never leave the house and get their hands dirty or interact with the outer world ..so they are too shy to talk to anyone or begin the practice.

I don't understand why black guys in porn have a long dick (what's referred to as BBC). Acronym for big black cock

I consider myself at stage orange on the spiral. I'm pretty much rationally oriented..materialistically oriented..achievement oriented..successful oriented. Etc. I value individuality .rationality .science. secular atheistic versions of spirituality like what the whole new age community is based upon . But I haven't fully transcend stage blue .I'm craving an absolute truth that could be written in a book .I crave a belief in separate God as a father figure who can listen to my prayer and help me find my way in life .I crave for absolute good and evil. Moral and immoral. Seems like a lot of blue shadow to integrate.

So if I'm having an orgasm..I experience it .then you ask me :do you know what an orgasm is ?..I would say yes..because I have experienced it . So to me knowing is equal to experience or direct consciousness. Conceptual knowing is if you asked me to explain the biology behind an orgasm and how the dopamine and other neurotransmitters are flooding the brain ? yad yada.... Is that the difference? Well I have to disagree. Because you are basically trying to say anything that is being put into words is conceptual. And thats a tautology.

Isn't that backwards? Can you elaborate on this ? To me perception (or consciousness)=knowledge. If I'm seeing a tree over there...I'm aware of the tree visually ? ..therefore I know it in a sense. Even though I don't know what is it doing here (I'm referring to the mere fact that ANYTHING exists AT ALL!).

If you truly have transcended death then I expect that you commit suicide ASAP. Why ? Just to explore different kinds of lives other from this . Why not if you don't fear death ? Just by being alive entails that you fear death . So by definition no one alive is not afraid of death.

Then there are no "liberated minds ". I don't think there is any human on earth today who doesn't fear death .can you mention someone? Even Leo said he still fears death even though he claims to be the most awakened person ever (the GOAT like Messi and Ronaldo lol). Even Jesus on the cross was crying like a bitch ."father ..have you forsaken me ?".

Haha stop playing these silly games. I don’t think you have to look up the dictionary definition of confusion. We all know what that word points to. There are hundreds if not thousands of different worldviews ..which one is right ? Is it Islam? Christianity? Buddhism? Mormons? Solipsism? Materialism? How can you trust any source of information? How can you trust the media ? How do you know you are not a butterfly having a dream of being a human ?? How do you know you are not in a simulation reality..such that you are being fed input from outside the simulation reality? You see ? You don't actually know Jack shit . Neither me. what I'm suggesting here is that there is no solution to this. You just have to drop the desire for truth .you never needed it anyways .

Thanks ! Yup. I agree .the "answer "..or the "thing" we all are seeking is not an intellectual piece of information that will magically make everything "click ". But this is only known to those who went deep into meditation. All existential questions are just mental noise . Truth is THIS UNSPEAKABLE OCCURRENCE.

Interesting! So I wanna know more details ..like how did that experience happen? Was it sober or drug-induced? How exactly did you go to hell ? Are you speaking literally or figuratively? Like maybe you faced some deep suffering and call that hell ? Or do you mean literally the religious hell? And btw ..what do you mean only you knows the truth ? And how are you certain about that? Are you a solipsist?

You say this over and over but without clarification or further elaboration. Its like OK you are "the one " ..but how exactly? In what way? What do you have that I don't have ?

I really put up so much effort in crafting this insight ...thought it might be useful for those stuck in confusion ?. Because I myself have dealt with what I would call "existential confusion " since the beginning of this year . Really cracking my head over questions like what the hell is the ultimate truth and what the fuck is reality ? But what I noticed is I don't have to focus my attention on this. I could instead enjoy the sunset ?

Beautiful ? That's what I'm talkin' about . You've got the purpose of life figured out . Enjoy!

Guys ! Just look at the fucking nature..the sun..the trees..the sea etc its jaw-dropping..incomprehensible beauty is what existence is . I tried to articulate this to my brother and sister but they just laughed at me lol ...am I the only one in the entire fucking world who thinks existence is magic? Let us take your hand for example: Everyone has it.. and it seems quite mundane ..but if you begin to realize the beauty of it..it will never be the same. The day we realize the extraordinary in what we perceive as ordinary..and knowing that all ordinary is extraordinary there would be unconditional joy and happiness. Like literally you can be the happiest person in the world if you just sit and meditate In nature ..listening to your favourite music . We are blessed. We are FUCKING BLESSED! Wake up guys ffs?

@PurpleTree expose yourself to new experiences. Can you travel to a different country?

I envy you . There is ALWAYS something beautiful about every experience. Even suffering has its own beauty if you know how to suffer consciously . A good question to work with is: what's preventing me from enjoying this moment? And to notice that nothing is . Thanks ?

I see ? Just curious..are you open to the possibility that there is "more " to awakening than merely recognition of no self? It is not uncommon to experience or realize one facet of infinity that might make you think you know it all and then to later realize deeper..more profound aspects . So be patient about the experience you had in 2018. don’t be quick to come to conclusions or form solid understandings. Stay open minded lighthearted..and interested. You’ve been moving quick..burning through the mental layers that take a lot of people years. Lastly..if you think this is a ride.. wait till you fully realize the infinite unconditional love that you are. Reality gets entirely flipped inside out.. outside in. The whole show is literally happening within you.. within your love ❤

There is actually some anecdotal evidence backing up reincarnation. People who remember their past lives .

Two things : 1-study the work of famous philosophers 2-think independently and try to do a critique of their work. For example watch a philosophical video of Leo and then try to prove him wrong. Become skeptical etc If you want to become a professional philosopher..there is no way other than academia .

You return to the source of all things .and then anything can happen from that place .