Someone here

Thanks for the uplifting comment . Appreciate it .

Smoked two ciggies Marlboro Red while taking a walk in the darkness of my town. Back to zero . This shit is more difficult than I have thought . At this point I have no doubt that I have neurological addiction. Its not just a vice or something that I enjoy doing .it's something my whole freaking life depends on . Porn :day 0. Cigarettes : day 0.

Relapse . I watched porn today for 2 hours . Back to day 0. But I didn't smoke . I think it's better to keep a separate record for each. Porn: day 0. Smoking : day 2.

Day 2 done #.

Thanks for the advise .you are welcome to comment on the journal. But actually I don't want to substitute one addiction for another .I'm still going to use sugar and videos games as I mentioned. Because they are less harmful than porn and smoking.

Day 1 done.#

This is for my own benefit. There is not much to read in this journal. This is just for my own personal development. Not for a reader other than me . I'm realizing an increasing dependency on cigarettes, sugar,porn,music,video games to regulate my mood .I feel like absolute piece of shit whenever a day passes without some or all of these things .I'm confident to say I'm addicted to them . This journal is just a public recoding of trying to quit these things for an entire year ..starting from today 14/11/2024 until Christmas of year 2025 . Then I will see where I will be moving from there . I'm also going to stop posting in the main forums. I will only stick to the journaling section until December 2025. I'm not gonna quit music and video games as I do need something pleasurable to regulate my mood . I'm not ready for a complete monk mood . So I'm going to quit cigarettes and pornography. There we go . Today is day 1. I will keep a day count here .

There is nothing that you should seek for .or there is..doesn't matter ..seekers gonna seek .unseekers are gonna unseek. There are no shoulds or should nots. There is nothing that has to be done .everything is exactly in its right place. All is well .

That's exactly what the quote is pointing to . You should not desire or seek happiness outside yourself . Precisely because its natural. Yes . Feel free to double check .uncle Google in your fingertips . Relax girl .

The only time I smoked a joint it was made in Costa Rica and it just made me feel ecstacy and satisfaction. No insights .just basking in being and chilling out .I don’t get any psychedelic-like effects even though I have not tried classical psychedelics before but judging based on trip reports and the videos I see from YT.

Smoking Marlboro Gold .

OK thanks . I'm rather surprised that you didn't trynna sell me "you're not the real deal..you're fake ..you're mentally masturbating etc". Hopefully from now on let's be on friendly terms ..what do you say ? BTW is smoking weed really as potent as tripping balls on LSD or DMT and that kind of stuff ? It sure expands your mind but it doesn't fuck around a lot with the content of your consciousness.

@ExploringReality amazing thanks for sharing. Can you achieve this with weed/cannabis? I've got some and thinking of getting high af while contemplating precisely this part:

@Spiritual Warfare You just gave a definition for potential. You've given it attributes like "holding the possibility for existence ". Bottom line is there must be something eternal..since existence undeniably exists right now ..therefore the natural conclusion is that it has always existed .