Terell Kirby

Hopefully you guys can agree - taking responsibility for you life (good, bad and ugly), allows me to assign powerful meanings to events and circumstances. It's such a challenge to do this consistently. How do some of you approach taking more and more responsibility in your lives? I am also now realizing that blaming is completely useless, both for others and for yourself. Blaming applies a negative meaning that disempowers you, instead of empowering you. Blaming and responsibility have subtle differences that I think a lot of us get confused on.

Hmm - I don't think pick up culture is a bad thing per say (of course it can have toxic elements). I know for me, I was really bad at attraction before finding PUA/self-help materials that allowed to increase my count from 2 to 12 within a three year time frame. There are healthy forms of pick up, and most guys have to go through this stage to integrate their masculinity and move on to bigger and better things (such as spirituality, tapping into their feminine essence, etc). I would couch it with spiral dynamics - pickup is mainly a stage orange activity to integrate before going to stage green. You have to fully integrate these stages of development.

I can dig this. @Vzdoh thanks for sharing it from a females perspective. It's really interesting to think that men and women both envy each others orientation towards sex. Most guys would love to have the amount of sexual opportunities women get, but don't realize the physical aspects are not as important as the emotional aspect for women - so it really all evens out in the end.

@kinesin very insightful. Thanks for the info. I am also of the opinion that meditation should not be supplemented..it's so life changing to have a daily practice. Using psychs on occasion as an enhancer seems like the best route.

@IAmReallyImportant Great advice, thanks so much for sharing.

I think the first step is halt trying to put fear to rest. There is a concept of "leaning in", your fear is here to serve you. It has a place in your psyche, and can be transmuted into being a readable signal that you are moving towards things that will grow you. Fear is your friend - listen to it, understand it..just try not to let it take the wheel on your journey.

Agreed - men tend tend be very interested in counts of women lol. Although I have seen some guys ignore it (the whole "trying to turn a hoe into a housewife" thing). But then again, what is a hoe? Does slut shaming exist? What are the benefits and disadvantages of this label?

I can totally relate. I was in pickup for a solid 4 years or so where I increase my count tremendously. Although it was a great experience, I became drained. I've now been happily celibate after a 9 month relationship that ended a few years back. It is possible for folks to change their ways/value systems. I'm a guy of course, so I don't run into too many negatives and questions regarding lay count.

So true! I guess my only question is how much of this is biological vs. social programming. I can see both sides of the coin.

Suicide comes with no guarantees of peace, liberation or freedom. The mistake is thinking it does.

If God wore virtual reality goggles, it would see your life. You are God, you are in a simulation...everything you see, hear, feel, taste, smell etc is a part of the simulation. What’s even more beautiful is that it is....infinite . So much love... Of course, you as God doesn’t actually wear googles because to wear goggles would mean you’d have to have a human form lol. You’re basically formless and unidentifiable...rendering reality through pure non mechanical imagination.

Yes you hit on the nail with the death of the FALSE self. Once you discover your true nature through ego death, you realize death is illusory in the Absolute sense. Such a beautiful realization.

@Yarco haha this was great. He makes simpler that’s for sure. I’ve already been practicing the slow ghosting method. Although I do get concerned some toxic folks may pick a fight once you begin to disappear

Your words are so powerful, encouraging and thought provoking. I have learned from you that turning inwards on the matter and focusing on my own perspective and attachment to the matter is more important than putting the focus completely on the other person. If I had to be honest, it is attachment. I was a doormat for a good chunk of my teens and early adult years, and known for low-self esteem. I would surround myself with narcissist who would take advantage of me. I think the question stems from lingering attachment to remain in that position, it’s really a resistance to change but I know I can do better. Thanks for sharing your story as well. In my heart I know that continuing these toxic connections is not good for myself and the parties involved. I must do what’s best for everyone...and that is leave.

I deep dive into the epistemology of race and the use of it as a social construct (both in enhancing survival advantages of various groups and creating institutions that preserve the status quo). There is a political/ideological/culture/academic battle brewing between stage Blue/Orange & Green/Yellow around this topic. I would love to see Leo’s take on it before it becomes yet another major cultural divide.

So true. Simply put...we’re in a dream. One that never ends...ever.

@Eternal Unity so true! I guess one would only want to escape if they thought it was actually real in the first place lol. Mankind has been the biggest fools in this regard, me included. It just feels so real...

After a week of intense meditation, I’ve finally grasps what it truly means to be immortal. Through direct consciousness, I realized that the “I” deemed as Self is not located anywhere in my present experience. Therefore, whatever happens to the body that appears in my consciousness is a happening that applies to the body, and not the “I” that is my True Self. That includes death and injury. This not only applies to physical phenomenon but also mental and emotional...the thoughts and feelings are just appearances in consciousness and not personal to the “I” that is True Self. Everything is simply being witnessed by a Being that can’t be pointed to...that being is us! Not being located in time and space truly feels like bliss/heaven! This is a fresh insight that I will have to deepen..but had to get the excitement out in some kind of way. We cannot lose our existence...because existence is infinite. We are existence...we are immortal.

Thank you all for the feedback. An even deeper realization is one of an infinite dream state. Awakening is not waking up from the dream, but waking up to the dream. We are forever in this thing...no escape in sight

FOMO = Fear of Missing Out https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-fomo-4174664 This struck me while contemplating, much suffering is caused by resistance to the present moment. As I get deeper into spiritual practice, I become more conscious that the now is all there is, and all that there will ever be. I am also able to reflect on some of my darkest moments in, full of deep suffering, was simply caused by wishing life's circumstances were different, including wishing that I didn't wish things were different. It's amazing how many neurotic habits develop from FOMO (addiction, relationship problems, self esteem issues, etc) When we learn to accept what is, we find a tunnel of light that just may allow us to abandon thoughts of the future and the past - to really become grounded in present moment consciousness. I hope others can relate, and maybe share tips on how they overcame their own struggle with FOMO.

@RMQualtrough so true - one of the main feelings for guilt and regret which add on to misery.

@Max Green good point- thanks Max

Some historical context of conflict between Israelis and Palestinians..tied in with spiral dynamics, collective ego, ideology, epistemology, metaphysics, systems thinking, conscious politics, spirituality/awakening.

This would be a part 2 to Leo’s video that was released five years ago: ‘Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to Self Actualize’. The premise of the video would be to stress the importance of mastering survival, as awakening builds on top of it. I think Maslow’s hierarchy of needs would be a good conceptual framework to reference as a path to reach awakening..one must work their way all the way up to the Self Actualizing stage to ultimately go further into Self-Transcendence/God Realization. Covering the traps of each stage would be helpful to many.

Posting a few reflections from my self inquiry today. My Self realization is deepening everyday. I had reflected on the problem of identity; it’s one step to realize that ones life is imaginary, but even tougher to deeply understand the one who’s having the experience of imagination. How can one understand something that is invisible? The best method, for me, has been to identify with literally everything in existence. God’s consciousness is creating my mind, body and it’s present experience...as well as yours. We are this Being with infinite capacity to imagine anything. Therefore we are not separate in our identities, no matter where we are in time and space. Very profound..