OmShanti69

Hello everyone and thanks for having me here. This is my first post! I have been noticing a strange side effect as a result of my spiritual practices which I sometimes find upsetting. When I think back to the past or even look at pictures and videos from the best holidays and experiences of my life - I can not recall or feel any emotion. I know that I had an awesome time and I remember that I felt many beautiful and complex emotions which moved me to tears of joy but I just cannot relive or recall them. It is like the emotional channel has been erased from my memory completely and everything else is perfectly intact. Has anyone else here experienced anything similar? I can't find any cases or information about it elsewhere online.

Hi everyone, This is not so much about me but I'm hoping that any replies to this may help people in interacting with those who have borderline personality disorder. Today I tried to help a friend who suffers from borderline personality disorder through an episode of very low mood. We had been talking for a few months about our experiences relating to the things we've suffered throughout our lives. I have the nondual understanding, if that's even the correct way to word it. I realised directly and experientially a few years ago that I've never been depressed, harmed or anything else. I was aware of it all the whole time. From then I rested in awareness or as the witness and the residual emotions dissolved over time in my awareness. All the while I have tried to be as accommodating and accepting of their perspectives as much as I can. I have never told them this IS how it is or what to do, I have always asked questions such as could it be etc or told them what happened to me or what I did etc. So today they were feeling really down - so I asked them if they are aware of everything that's happening, the strong negative emotions, etc and they answered yes, so I then said to them, could it be that who you really are is the one that's aware of this all taking place? I then shared with her a small part of my story regarding how I came to my understanding and how it changed my life and emotions completely. Again, I have never said to her this is how it is or you must do this. Now I feel really stupid because all I wanted to do was to help them on their way towards reducing their suffering as much as possible but they just came back at me charged with a lot of anger and said that they are all individual people stuck in one body and then just started putting words into my mouth about other personal issues in their life which I had never even mentioned and basically told me to go educate myself and not talk to them again. Maybe my understanding is very limited and drag me over the coals for my stupidity. Can there be multiple consciousnesses in a body or is it one awareness that can be aware of many different alters/ people arising? This is my fault because I tried to help with something I didn't have a deep enough understanding of and I feel that I have made them worse.

Yeah, I can see that all memory and emotion actually take place now and the past is only more thought but I just have no idea how I can't emotionally relive the past right now like I used to be able to. I had a mental breakdown of sorts about it last night because it may be a sign of worse to come. Other parts of my memory may start failing making it impossible to function in the relative world.