JessiChell

@Joshi3 So I use to cam. Which means I would do stuff online for men, etc. Many men have kinks I guess, most stemmed from inadequacies and shame. Others, I'm not sure where they came from. The ones who asked for very specific kinks, knew exactly where the shame/failure came from. We would talk about it in-depth for long periods of time. It seemed to be healing for them. I think expressing it in the bedroom and talking about it really helped them work it out. It didn't harm them in their every day lives. It was like a box they could open when they wanted to and close it when done. I watch porn and I heard Leo watches porn from reading comments on this forum, so I'm not sure of it's harmful effects. I see it as another distraction. Too much distraction equals an unhealthy mind. I'm not sure what an "enlightened sex life" looks like, with two, "super-fully-healthy-mind" people, but I know that's probably very hard to obtain. Do you not have sex or not indulge until all sexual traumas have been exposed and released? Or do you simply make yourself conscious that you are experiencing traumatic/failure sexual urges and releasing them? (As long as you are not harming anyone) Those are genuine questions I don't know the answer to. But I like the way I made the latter sound.

This was interesting to read, guys. @IJB063 You're right, it comes from trauma usually. Religious trauma or other relationship traumas but it can also come from societal norms, which, the individual may perceive as failure. However, I thought this work was about self-acceptance as you are. Traumas/failures included. I thought it would be healing to accept this part of you. I thought there was no "right and wrong?"

@PetarKa I've found the opposite. Each episode, I take away a tool or technique to use or apply. We are taught a piece to a whole, yes. But no one understands the whole. It's endless learning. We will never understand the whole. Even if you were to watch and take in every video, every book ever written by anyone, I still think, you would never understand the whole. Maybe we should accept not knowing? Why do you believe? Who made you? Who's responsible for this?

@Tonypop100 This doesnt make sense to me. I thought it was conceptual?

@Carl-Richard oh okay. I thought I was missing something. Thanks!

@Hardik I don't know. I'm struggling to successfully share my thoughts through this conversation. I'm quite new here. I just know there is something off about what I've read from their definitions of "love." I'll try to summon @Leo Gura maybe he'll point me or us in the right direction if he has time.

@Robby Can you start a journal in the journal forum and just link your notes there? This is really great!

@LastThursday Let me tell you about the sexiest woman I've ever been attracted to. It might help gain some insight. But remember this is my preference, She had black hair, cuban heritage, cute/sexy face and chunky. Looks wise lets put her on the scale, I'd say a 6-7. However, when we'd sit down with friends just to hang out and play games, she would make everyone laugh. She had crazy fucking cleverness and could quip so quick at you. She made you feel accepted and warm, just as you were. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever met to this day. And I've worked in plastics. Around physical tens. Remember that women are so much more than looks. Looks go out the window after 3 months. I promise you. All women, even the perceived monsters, like the one I saw over the weekend, are so much deeper than anything physical. That girl I described, the sexy one, she would turn you on way more than any ten. But you have to be able to see who they are. Culture and your values have taught you to not see them. Try seeing them. I bet you, you would pick someone closer to your age with a lot of fire in her soul.

@LastThursday Nujabes is great. Check out their song, "reflection eternal." I was wondering if I could add some perspective on the potential future wife. So in both examples of young wife vs old wife, they both sound like they haven't done self exploration. The perspective I'm offering is from having worked in the medical field for almost 10 years around hundreds of women. (Women dominate my field) Old women, young women, "ugly" women, "average looking" women, "hot" women. etc So ALL women, no matter what age, are up for adventure and new things. The man usually chooses the tempo of the relationship and the woman will keep it. If a woman is not up for new things and lacks fun in life, its a personality flaw. Not an age difference. If you have been emotionally vulnerable with a woman and she is truly in love with you, you will not have to fight off competitors. No matter what she looks like. Even ugly people cheat. The time of my life where I looked like a stripper, worked out every day, etc my ex cheated on me with a cow of a woman. Looks mean nothing or very little in reality. After you are in a relationship for some time, the objective beauty of a person fades. The most gorgeous woman in the world could become ugly. And then vise versa. Also children will ruin your life and hers. It will change her body for the worst. Her physical beauty and mental compassion will go out the window. Might I suggest a yacht instead? With all the money you'll save? Some things you may or may not want to consider in a woman: - How does she react when angry? - Does she make me feel warm? - Will she judge me if I am honest with her about things? - Will we have exciting sexual chemistry? - What are her values and beliefs? Do they align with mine? - Do we have a healthy communication style? These things I think maybe you might incorporate into the list. I met a woman over the weekend who I heard screaming at her husband and was so nasty to him. She was also ugly physically. So looks mean absolutely nothing. You could get trapped with something like that. It would be hell.

@Onemanwolfpac I think our definition of love is different.

@Nak Khid That's not what inner work or loving yourself is. It's being present and ridding yourself of ego. Leo teaches absolute self-love. Which to me, means unconditional. Showing love or compassion to another I don't believe is the same.

@bejapuskas They laugh, they are entertained. They forget about their boring lives for a night. That kind of pleasure. No, I dont think they could discover a non-dull life. You either have worked on your personality and have whit or you don't. I guess it's to be liked and favored? My life isn't anymore exciting than another's but I can be charismatic. And that charisma can make for an interesting life or an interesting night. Just people are dull. I'm sure they live fulfilling lives but even if you're accomplished or happy it doesnt matter to me. I'd rather be in a room of loud, funny people who can easily outdo me in jokes and entertainment. Yeah, I guess I realized it's a form of manipulation. But isnt picking up, learning to be attractive and stuff like that manipulation as well? No, I dont set out with the intention to be manipulative unless I fancy someone. If I fancy someone I make sure I'm charismatic. But maybe that's not manipulation? ?‍♀️

@Nak Khid I've done that my whole life though. I've poured love into helping others. It hasn't come back full circle. The more peace I feel and in love with myself I've ever felt is when I turn inward. But maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're saying,

@Nak Khid So you say, "love in its highest form is caring." Unconditional love would be, "caring no matter what." Right? Only you can love yourself unconditionally and most don't know how. Isn't that what inner work is about? Learning to love yourself no matter what? If we all knew how, and did it naturally, why are we here? On this forum?

@Nak Khid That is conditional love. If that white man had raped children, tortured loved ones or killed them and the protesters were aware, there's a high probability they would not have helped the man. They knew nothing about him. Their humanity and self righteousness helped him.

@ArchangelG Stimulating connection or conversation. They don't have to be an intellectual or anything, But that usually is a key factor in whether I enjoy someone's company or not. But this is judgment. I don't think we should have judgments.

@JosephKnecht I am in love with the parts of Leo I know and think to be true. But Leo has become me in my head. I love myself. I love Leo.

@bejapuskas Be careful with your questions. I will talk about myself all day.

@bejapuskas Most people live dull lives. They lack depth and personality. So when they go out with me I want to stimulate them and give them a good time. I get the feeling of pleasure from seeing other people receive pleasure. So I feel like it's a skill I've mastered over the years to break that awkward tension and make them feel comfortable. With people I care about, I give it as a gift. While I do get something out of it, its definitely more giving than receiving most of the time. It's manipulation, I guess. I can use it to get almost anything or any person interested in me.

@bejapuskas No, I am comfortable in a room with certain people. I just find interactions draining because I am usually the "social, funny one." Edit: to answer your second question, it's after. I feel like I have put on a show to make people laugh and feel more comfortable because of their social awkwardness, they cannot create the warmth needed. So I create warmth. It's draining. But this last time, I tried to stay present, and I did, But after I still felt drained even though I didn't create warmth, love and laughter. It was strange. So I posted because I thought if I was present I wouldn't feel drained. Well when I first started I wanted to develop enough self-love to leave abusive relationships. Which, was why I started watching Leo's videos. But now, I'm evolving, I'm not sure where exactly I want to be. I want to simply, be. Be happy, be present. And parts of the day, I am. I've been really happy lately. But currently I'm starving to understand more things. I'm moving into Eckhart Tolle right now, so I'm sure I will evolve into something else in a month. Ask me then.

Beautiful response to this thread.

@Askarov So Leo says the thing women find the most unattractive is neediness. The fact that there is neediness present means this is a codependent relationship. It will have to end. You will have to lose her to be able to work on yourself. But don't worry. You will find someone way better after the breakup, you. I went through a rough breakup a month or so ago. Still going through it. But Leo got me through it. I put on his videos and listened to him constantly. At work, at home, like 12 hours a day for 3 weeks straight. He has a whole series of break up videos. The one that helped me the most was "How to Deal with Strong Emotions." You can do it.

@Onemanwolfpac None of us understand unconditional love.

@Parththakkar12 I get what you're saying. Because I have a healthy relationship with a very close girlfriend, I can see what you're talking about. We meet give each other emotional support, if the other wants it. We love each other completely and without judgement. So this is what the Reiki master told me when I was gone. "Relationships are based on conditional love. Only you have the power to offer yourself unconditional love." I think unconditional love is the love that is absolutely needed. There's probably a percentage to gauge happiness out there. And I'm sure there is a portion that is reserved for conditional love, i.e. community, close friendships (I'm leaving romantic relationships out of this, for now) But from what I understand, unconditional love of the self is what should be focused on until you have put your thoughts (ego), in their rightful place. Any outside interference will make you lean too heavily on others. And @Elham I see this as a trend. Leo is introverted. However I feel he was introverted prior to awakening. Here are my thoughts that could be incorrect, but, I believe if you are truly awakened or enlightened or have successfully killed your ego, you would be neither, or you would be 50/50. Because if only the one that sees, exists, then you are fully living in the present. It wouldn't matter if you were around others or not around others. You would simply, be. You would not have a preference as to "I like being alone" or "I like to be within a loving community." I can't speak on where Leo is at or if he's still introverted. But his awakening should have taken care of introverted-ness. He may isolate himself more to explore deeper stages of consciousness or whatever drugs do, but I would hope if he was not working on his thoughts (ego), he would be fully comfortable in a room full of people.

@Rolo doesnt shame turn you on? It feels great to feel disgusted with yourself. Surrender to that. Love that disgust and shameful feeling you have. It's a part of you.