zurew

Member
  • Content count

    2,814
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by zurew

  1. Most conservatives are probably gay (those who are demonizing gayness so much), they just don't know it yet, or they are repressing it (because of this huge demonizing). Its a huge part of their shadow side. Maybe because for them its more important to relate to the conservative ideology compared to being authentic about their sexuality. So ideology may outweigh sexuality in some cases.
  2. Yes i do. When you are in primary school 5th 6th grade and above you start to feel some kind of attraction towards others except if you are Asexual. Teaching them about sexuality and attraction is very important, because they will be less likely to be depressed, when they are for example gay. Because they can understand then , that it is normal, nothing wrong with them, there are other people as well who are in the same shoes as them. They can be educated on how to have safe sex and how to attract their partner as well. Teaching about the sexual dynamics as well how it works what to expect and so on. I don't see the harm in educating in primary school. But i can see the downside if we don't educate.
  3. What is the conservatives exact fear here? That the kids will more likely turn out to be gay ? I think their biggest assumption is that people can change their sexuality based on societal norms. I don't buy that though. There must have been the first gay person on Earth who didn't see any other gay man or woman around him/her. So if it only societal that shouldn't be possible. The only question remains is that can societal norms have a significant role in turning people gay. I think thats their only reasonable argument here.
  4. Thats okay. But i still don't think we can control on our thoughts especially if they are coming from sexual desire. What i would be interested in how could we prevent these people acting on those thoughts and also how can we make them so that they will be willingly to for therapy sessions. But thats not relevant to this topic, so i will stop.
  5. Yeah, but could you tell me exactly based on what characteristics a person will be homosexual or bisexual or heterosexual? I don't think we know how to distinguish between those based on what you wrote.
  6. Notice that we were all talking about thoughts and not actions. You labeled the pedohile as 'bad' based on having 'bad' thoughts. Of course if we are talking about actions its not on the same level. But we were talking about thoughts.
  7. I bet sometimes everyone have some weird thoughts that pop up in their head, especially when they are emotional. Like "i would kill that criminal" or "that man should be burned alive" and stuff like that Should we label everyone as 'bad' if they have weird or bad thoughts? One of the main things that meditation teaches you, that you don't really control your thoughts, you are just following them. Being good can mean not to be reactive and not to act on thoughts that are considered bad. The other question is, can you decide what you are attracted to? Imagine if you would be attracted to dead bodies. We can label that bad, but can these people change their attraction? I don't think so. We don't really know where attraction exactly comes from, its still a debatable topic in science.
  8. Interesting, i haven't seen or heard anything like that before. Sexual attraction seems very deeply rooted to me, but i don't exactly know where the root is at and the science is pretty young on this area. If i had to guess, i would say that sexual attraction is a combination of social and biological factors. I would put a lot more weight on the biological factor though. But ultimately, i don't really know. Transcending gayness, or transcending sexual attraction? I don't think we can ever totally transcend our basic needs like food and sex.
  9. I don't think you can willingly change what sex you are attracted to. Also i want to add here, just because someone is enlightened it doesn't mean that they can't say wrong things, and also it doesn't mean that we need to take their word for granted.
  10. From the absolute sense, yes. But when we are talking about morality no. Is that moral to force a moral system on anyone, who don't want to participate in it? If x person have a moral system where slavery is good and y person have a moral system where slavery is bad how do you solve that? Its a dual problem, so it cannot be solved objectively. Or if you want to stay with the 'but subjective is objetive at the end' what does that mean in this scenario?
  11. I agree with this, but this is why i don't think there is true morality or true ethics. I know that there is a spectrum here, and we should thrive towards to be better. But that is still all subjective. I am arguing that it is subjective thats all, i agree with the notion that there is a spectrum. I was thinking about this selfless thing before and how it could change our justice system. Most justice work could be reduced if everyone would be as selfless with spiritual work as he/she can
  12. It is subjective that slavery is wrong, slavery is good for people who own slaves. Why do you want to destroy their position of power for your own ideal world? See it is all subjective. Why you want to create a world where is no suffering or a lot less suffering, when there are people who want more suffering? Why do you want to destroy their values / ideals?. You want to create a nondual world in a dual world - this is why i said as long as you have an ego, you can't have 'true ethics'
  13. Okay ,lets say that there are or there were people who were completely selfless (i don't believe that tho) . For their own survival they had to consume food and water. Even if they were totally vegan they had to 'kill' the plants to survive. Why can a human destroy other thing's life for their own survival?
  14. If your survival is threatened it doesn't matter how developed you are, you will act in a biased way. There is no such thing as 'true ethics' it is all subjective. Just for yourself to survive you need to live in a selfish way. Even if you are a vegan you still kill plants, why your life has more value compared to a plant? You life is depended upon a lot of consumption. When there is a finite amount of consumable resources there will never be a notion like 'true ethics'. We can thrive to be more ethical but it won't be 'true ethics'. As long as you have an ego, you cannot live fully selflessly - so you can't have true ethics
  15. Why others don't have this desire or why others desire the opposite? Where does desire comes from?
  16. No. Politics in one of the juiciest things you can talk about on any platform, it will get a lot of traction and it is important for everyone. Who has any incentive to stop the toxicity, when Toxicity is the main thing that getting the most traction - so the most money can be generated this way Facebook algorithm optimises for toxicity, if you are not toxic in your articles or in your advertisements then your posts won't pop up Neither the radical left nor the radical right wants to find any bridge between the two side, so they want to make the opposite side look ridiculous - Such way they can get more people to their side Most people don't want to find solutions, most people care about maintaining their ideology and ideas Almost no person wants to get their ideas challenged - everyone want to stay in their bubble and in their comfort zone Most people only focusing on their values, and not giving any shit what others want This is correlated with the 6. one , Most people look at problems only from a very narrow perspective and anything that challenges their narrow perspective will be demonized Because how the media environment is, and how social media algorithms work, if you are not toxic - you basically can't win any election Eliminating all the toxic info in any field is impossible right now, because of the power dynamics. As long as you can get ahead by being toxic and trying to deliberately strawmanning and downplaying the opposite side's arguments you will do it. Basically as long as there is a dynamic ,where one side's survival is hinges upon beating all the other sides, this dynamic will never end, because no one is incentivised to do so. ( But of course it is not black and white and it can improve, or it can be eliminated, but elimination will require a lot of change and that change won't come any time soon)
  17. Bro take your time and heal up. When you are more okay with yourself and your self-image, then you can go hard again. Get to a normal self-esteem level. Don't focus on pickup , focus on healing up thats your biggest problem. Society tells you that you should lose your virginity at an early age as a man, you should have a house and a family in your 20s or early 30s. It doesn't matter what society tells you, focus on your development and take baby steps. Your journey is different from others it requires a unique path and unique way of development. Do it for yourself, not for others. You are still in your 20s so you have a lot more time left. Don't be too hard on yourself, if you can keep up with babysteps and consistency you can achieve a lot in 5 years. Do not push too hard because you will burn out. Also don't be so judgemental on yourself. You want to get good feedback obviously as anyone would want to. Any feedback you get back from woman you can make good out of it. It will show holes in your game, and in your development where you need to focus more. Its not bad if a woman rejects you, Its just a feedback that you can use to get better and better. Negative experience is the best, because you can learn about yourself, what you should do different, or what you should change in yourself to get better results. Negative feedback is essential for you, to find the girl you want to find. Good luck, and stay strong!
  18. It would have been just an apology not an interfere. Why would you need to wait to give your apology? If you truly feel apologetic, then you shouldn't wait with it imo. The fact that he reached out to you now, is kind of sus. Also with the time passing by, you will see if he is truly apologetic or not. If he tries to move on you in a few weeks, it will mean that he is just playing games with you.
  19. Thats true. Even if someone's really sorry, sometimes people can't change their actions so they repeat their mistakes again and again. Sometimes intention doesn't really matter, if the outcome is the same. @somegirl There is a lot of man out there, you can pick and choose from them to find the best, you don't need to gamble with the fuckboy. Think about how much downside this can bring you comapred to the upside.
  20. Have you seen the film called 'Ready player one' it is a really good one, it can give you a perspective about a world where VR is commonly used. I think that there are some valid fears about VR. No tech is neutral, every new tech has a huge impact on our lifes, it can change how we view the world and ourselves, it can change our thinking etc. On the other hand there is a huge potential as well (after it will become really advanced): We could use it for psychology as well (for example testing for phobias or imagine creating variations of yourself and doing activities with yourself talking with your past selves - i know this is far beyond just VR, but it could be used for healing for sure, and to recognise our biases better) It could be used for certain experiments (Any environment could be constructed where you can face your fears, to learn about yourself by dropping yourself in different kind of hard situations that could never ever occur in real life also social experiments could be created where we can create the adequate environment and situation for the tests without needing to find an outside place for it or without using any money ) Could be used for spiritual development (if we could recreate retreat places and if we combine it using such headphones that can block every outside noise, then it could be really powerful) Could be used to develop mental resistance (imagine if you could build for yourself any enviroment where you can test yourself as much as you want, putting there your worst fears, phobias, ideas and live with it for a certain amount of time) - this can be also made such a way where we collectively testing ourselves in certain isolated situations how would humankind react for certain things in practice Learning in a different way (Building vr worlds that is very similar to the real world, imagine being there with your virtual character and learning about extinct animals or even living animals by being in their environment seeing them interacting with them, learning about them in such a way where you don't just use your sight but more of your senses). Learning skills (Bulding a vr world that is similar to the real world, we could create such enviroments and situations what would be expensive or unaccessible otherwise) like creating a situation for surgeons where they can train themselves to do certain kind of hard surgery procedures, so they can be ready mentally when they really need to do their job. Make hard things more enjoyable and doable (for instance having a room bike and using a vr headset at the same time and being in an evironment that is enjoyable may increase the possibility for certain people to do some exercises.) Developing the need for spirituality (Maybe by being able to live our highest hedonistic desires in custom environments, more and more people can come to the conclusion to seek something deeper, this way we can maybe burst most people's materialistic desire bubbles)
  21. I think you are totally right on that one. We are being so attached to the depressed state/depressed perspective that we can't let it go. If we wouldn't care, we would let it go, but we are caring so much about staying in the depressed state, that we build a whole persona and story around it so it can become stronger. Thats how powerful attachments are, being obsessively attached to something can literally destroy your life. Thats why practicing detachment and letting go of things consciously is a very powerful technique. Its very interesting, that sometimes the ego would rather lead itself to suicide, compared to letting the negative identity go, and letting go of negative attachments.
  22. One of the main reason why, you can't think anything else just about suicide, because you are stuck in a negative depressed paradigm. Your paradigm is valid, we don't dismiss how bad you are feeling right now. But remember, just as others said it is just one paradigm from the many. You see no way out, because you think from your current paradigm. You can absolutely shift and change your paradigm, that way you can start to see other possibilities that you can use to feel better. Right now you need to be a little bit selfish, concentrate on yourself, give love to yourself, and only then you have a greater possibility to change situations in the world. If you really struggle and you really think that you can't do it alone, search for help. There is nothing wrong to search for some professional help. If you can't afford or if you really don't want to go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, you can call a suicide hotline.
  23. I would frame it this way: I would not even call it 'being happy' i would call it being deeply/fully fulfilled (not wanting to desire almost anything / not wanting to take from the world just only the basics to be able to survive). When you are truly fulfilled you only want to give for the World. From a fulfilled place one can really start to live his/her life and making the world a better place using their unique skills and capabilities. In that case, we can start to talk about what i wrote in my previous text, that you can figure out your own way what you want to optimise for (besides happiness) and how you want to make your own footprint in the world. Because in my opinion, you should connect your highest value with your carrier (Just as how Leo did with understanding). However, as we know from maslow's hierarchy, to be able to reach fulfillment and higher levels of consciousness - we need to satisfy our lover needs healthily first. So knowing where we are going, and why we are doing what we are doing consciously and having a solid plan can be really important. Also realising that mostly we are working towards fulfillment can be important as well.
  24. I somewhat agree with your approach but not fully. My method would be learning a lot too, but because i am just a layman i can only go so far. Maybe i am undermining how far i could go, but my approach would be this: Firstly i would go with a conservative method, where i want to find all the best specialist doctors and ask them a lot of questions. I would try those methods out, and ask about the medicinies side effects carefully and i would decide if i can go with it or not. I would also read about what could be the causing factors and search for speclialists in those fields as well. (The reason why i would start with the conservative doctors and methods is because conservative methods are the most tested ones, so i can know better what to expect from them) If after all that, i am not satisfied with the solution i would go for alternative medicine and methods as well.(lets be it a conservative doctor or a shaman or anyone who understands that particular field much better than me). Depending on how serious and urgent the problem is, most of the time people don't have time to sit around and read more and more to figure out the solution for a complex health issue, so taking some pills could be the best solution in that situation because you don't know better. Taking pills can be very effective for different kind of health issues even if it comes with side effects. Sometimes taking pills can be the most secure way to deal with the problem, because it was most likely tested a dozen times before compared to alternative methods. Sometimes the problem with an alternative approach is that it wasn't tested too much and there is not so much evidence you can find how effective certain methods are and what kind of problems certain methods can cause. I like your learning approach though. Continous learning and studying about your health issue can help you out a lot for sure, to find better ways and to understand you situation better. In my opinion the holistic approach would somewhat look like this: You decide that you learn about it as much as you possibly can, and you are willingly try any method or medicine (if you researched about them enough before) to try to solve your health problem. Reflecting on your life how much more you can max out your mental and physical health (making sure your basic system is in the right place) Trying to find correlations with other parts of you that you have never thought about before, how all your system can work together (what part can what effect on different parts). Asking the question if core of the problem is really there, where you are searching for it or it is coming from somewhere else. Asking the question if it can have multiple different kind of causality factors so you can going through them one by one. As much disagreement i have too as a layman with the conservative health system, i wanted to make points and shed light to the good parts of it as well.