Tristan12

I saw a really easy way to peel them from this post on instagram. If you peel them in a large bowl of water, the seeds sink and the white parts float, which makes it easy to separate them. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1sJr6QRWjr/?igsh=MTZtbnl5MXZteGplMQ==

In childhood, when there is some kind of abuse or the child is unable to get its needs met in one way or another, if the child finds a way to manipulate to get its needs met, it becomes co-dependant. When co-dependant people are super nice all the time to the extent where they let people walk all over them, they do this to get approval and connection, because from their trauma, they have learned that that's the only way they can get it. When co-dependants continue to take abuse from people they are in relationships with instead of leaving, it's because they are desperate for connection and are terrified of being abandoned, and they figure that a toxic and dysfunctional person wouldn't have anybody else who would want to be around them, so this dysfunctional person essentially needs them, thus guaranteeing the co-dependant connection. You can see how all of a co-dependant's behaviours that appear to be so nice and selfless on the surface are really done completely out of their own self-interest, and they are just manipulating to get their own needs met. Co-dependancy is entirely based in selfishness. For a narcissist, they went through the same kind of trauma and had unmet needs in childhood, but for them, there was no way to manipulate to get their needs met, so in that case, narcissism develops, where the person completely stops caring about the needs of others and becomes entirely concerned with their own self-interest, steam-rolling anyone and anything in their path. It's really their only option to get their needs met at that point. A narcissist basically becomes locked in a bubble of their own self-interest and is unable to see how they are hurting anyone. For a narcissist to become aware of that, they would have to face and admit to all the pain they hold within themselves that caused them to be this way in the first place, because the bubble they're in is the only way they've been able to get their needs met, and as soon as you remove that, they see how hurt, unloved and deprived of their needs they've been. Both narcissism and co-dependancy are styles of relating people based completely on the person's own self-interest and what they are trying to get out of the other person. They are created through trauma and especially shame, because they learn that this need/this part of you is not okay and is not going to be loved which leads to them having to figure out other ways to get their needs met. Because of this, I feel like a more accurate explanation is that if a narcissist looked within and became conscious of his actions, he would see all of the shame and hurt he feels within. Deep down narcissists feel deep levels of shame. Self-hatred is separate thing. (Of course he may begin to feel self-hatred if he became aware of how much he has hurt people, but the root cause of narcissism is shame, not self-hate). Of course narcissists don't really love themselves based on what love really means. They are just obsessed with their own self-interest and their own needs and agenda, which of course comes with a lot of egotism and arrogance and makes it look like they love themselves a lot. That's why if you asked a narcissist if they liked or loved themselves they would say of course, but it's not real love, it's just an adaptation to cover up deep shame underneath.

Says the guy who's an Actualized.org moderator...

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@Leo Gura Personally I grew up around the kind of harsh, no-bullshit kind of attitude you display. My uncle used to be a professional soccer coach after playing in the olympics. Nice guy but also very firm and strict with a "get your fucking shit together" kind of attitude. I feel like his personality is very similar to that of Gordon Ramsay. I was the closest to my uncle out of any family member because he was the only one that cared about personal development and growing yourself, so even though he was harsh, I really resonated with him and valued the things he taught me. I feel like that, combined with the fact that I have a strong masculine part of myself that resonates with and likes the kind of harsh, tough-love, cut the bullshit and go do it kind of attitude, I've never really had much of a problem with Leo's teaching style. I can see what people are saying, but personally it's never really bothered me and I rarely find it too much. With that being said, I still do find it kind of strange to have a teaching style like that with spiritual topics. It doesn't feel very fitting, and it feels kind of low consciousness. I read what you said about your approach being about cutting the bullshit, and being very firm and direct to be able to get through to people, and I honestly like that and see the necessity for that, but I just think it could be improved a bit. I feel like the biggest thing would be to just care more about people's feelings. I feel like you could still be firm and direct, but deliver what you're trying to say in a way that doesn't hit people so hard. Meaning be more considerate of the emotional impact harsh truths have on people, or on how you are making people feel by cutting the bullshit and being brutally honest. I feel like if there was more "I know this may be hard to hear" or "I can see why you would be resistant to that, I would too" and just more consideration and validating of how people feel, I feel like the things you say would be received so much better and it would be so much easier for people to see the loving intentions behind your harsh teaching style. When I read the things you say or hear how you talk in your videos sometimes, it feels very cold and rigid, like how it feels to run your hand along a pointed table's edge. Cold, hard, sharp, like a slap in the face. I'm sure that this is just your style and personality (I know you're an INTP) and so I get it, and I can see how it might feel weird or unnatural for you to not be this way, but I just feel like you would be received so much better with more concern for how people feel, and more warmth and uplifting encouragement, to the extent that it feels doable and authentic to you. In regard to the things you say about reaching truths nobody has ever accessed, having a much deeper understanding than anyone else, and nobody else on here understanding what consciousness is, etc., I'm totally on board with that and I don't doubt what you're saying at all. When you say these kinds of things, I can see why people might take you for an arrogant know it all, but I can honestly see that you're not trying to be arrogant and that you're just stating the truth. I feel like anyone who cares enough about integrity, being a good, loving person, helping others, and talks as much about self-deception/is as aware of self-deception as much as you are, it makes no sense why you would just be stuck in a bubble of arrogance and delusion, and be so intensely adamant about it no matter what anyone says. Especially considering that your whole life has been about discovering the highest truth, and you've done all these things like being super open-minded, being highly aware of self-deception, all this stuff, why would you suddenly lock yourself in delusion now? Of course anything is possible, and I know I can never know for sure unless I discover truth for myself, but I just wouldn't bet that you're deluded about these higher understandings. Even if you are totally wrong about everything, I feel like the people here are already making a huge mistake by feeling like they know it all and being closed to further discoveries in consciousness. Even if they were right, that close-mindedness is a red flag. How could they really know that there is nothing more to discover? In terms of your arrogance, egotism, and all of that, like I said I can see through a lot of it and see that you're not trying to be that way and you're just trying to be firm and direct about the truth. I feel like I would have to talk more with you to really understand your reasonings behind things and understand how much is intentional and how much is true arrogance and egotism, but either way, I really don't get the sense that the way you are is problematic. I can see how you might want to adjust some things in your style to be able to appeal to more people (like I said above with empathy) but the only issues I see in you aren't anything more than just normal personal flaws and minor issues that everyone has. That's just my opinion. I will try my best to be honest with myself about anything I see in you that contradicts all of this, but for now I don't see any problem and will remain an avid follower and student of your work. Thank you for what you do.

This and psychedelics

@Tyler Robinson Thank you

@hyruga @Tyler Robinson Wow, thanks for the shoutout. I'm glad you found my videos helpful. I've taken a break from the channel and haven't posted in over a year as you may have seen, but I haven't forgotten about it. I continue to gain more knowledge and deepen my understandings every day, and I've had huge growth over the last year. I'm just trying to figure out some core insights for how to heal trauma at the root that I need to be able to teach effectively. Once I eventually get it I'll be coming back

I just came up this idea: You know that image of the milky way where it shows where our solar system is, and most people just assume that we are in the middle? I feel like tier 1 thinkers (anyone below stage yellow) are much more likely to be the ones assuming we are in the centre, and people at stage yellow are likely to realize right off the bat that we're not necessarily in the middle and we could be anywhere. This shows how much less concerned stage yellow/tier two is with their own self-importance and how much more considerate they are of other perspectives and other views and possibilities outside of themselves. I can feel the amount of maturity and security within yourself is needed to be able to drop that obsession with yourself and your own agenda and start to think outside of yourself.

I much prefer your style of teaching where you deep dive into topics in each episode. I'm not a fan of Sadhguru's short tidbit type of episodes, I feel like I don't get much out of them compared to yours

Lol, I mean, I guess if you want to use that in this situation, but I've seen you use it in your blog and other places too. When I see the word cringe it just seems really judgemental and invalidating, like "eww that's so cringe, what a loser" compared to maybe you could say that it's sad that he would bang a sex doll which is more like "come on man, that's pretty sad, you can do better than that". Even if its sad for someone to bang a sex doll, people have their reasons and you could see how someone could end up in a situation where they could come to that (as with any other negative or neurotic thing a human could do) and you could be that person to be banging a sex doll with the right psychology and life situation. I know you know all of this which is why I find it strange that you use the word cringe because it is such a judgemental and dismissive word that creates distance and fragmentation between people rather than love and wholeness. It's not that big of a deal but I just wanted to point it out

Why do you use the word cringe? It feels so judgmental and unloving. To me it seems like a word that average people use to judge and criticize people and basically perpetuate low consciousness and a lack of love. I’m just surprised to see you using that word

The two people that I follow and resonate with the most are Leo and Teal Swan. I really want to be at their level one day, and be a teacher like them, on the specific topics that I'm interested in. This feels like something I genuinely want and is genuinely right for me, and I'm not just trying to copy them. I feel like I have it in me to be able to develop myself to the point that they're at and to be able to teach at very deep and profound levels. There are qualities and traits that they have that I want to develop within myself and blend with my own authentic style to be able to get to this point. The one thing that I've noticed that has been kind of a roadblock for me, and is the purpose of this post, is that both Leo and Teal have really strong intellectual abilities and are very intelligent. I think seeing this within them, as well as just seeing how intellectual a lot of people are on this forum have sort of created this standard in me that I have to be like that and that I have to be able to keep up with Leo and Teal intellectually to be able to be at their level. I would consider myself above average intelligence, but definitely not anything crazy, and not at the level of Leo or Teal or a lot of people on this forum. Nor do I even have that much of an interest in intellectual topics - I love wisdom and understanding, but I can only handle so much overly intellectual discussion before it becomes dry and boring for me. I find my interest in those topics only really runs as far as its useful to me for creating something I want in my life, or if I can see that something abstract is leading to some higher purpose, like with Leo's videos. I was thinking about this and I came to the conclusion that I don't think it matters that much If I'm not all that strong intellectually. I feel like I naturally have a lot of wisdom and am capable of a lot of deep understanding, and I realized that you probably don't need to be overly intellectual or intelligent to be able to gain understanding of reality (which is what I need to be able to teach). Contemplation is more about observing, grasping and making sense of your direct experience of something. It seems like it's more about your ability to understand and comprehend something rather than needing high levels of intelligence or being super intellectually sharp. (Also I feel like you're given whatever gifts you need to pursue your life purpose, and so if I don't have crazy intellectual abilities then I probably just don't need them.) I think also part of the reason why I had this idea that I need to be super intelligent is because I see that Leo is that way, and since he has these really deep understandings of reality, I guess part of me sort of attributed that to his intelligence. It made me feel like I can't get insights at the level that Leo does because I don't have that kind of intelligence. I'm sure his intelligence does play some kind of role but probably not a whole lot for the understanding itself, because I don't think you need a whole lot of intelligence to be able to contemplate and understand reality effectively. So in conclusion I feel like I can drop this idea that I need to be so highly intelligent like Leo or Teal or anyone else, and that it's just not necessary for gaining deep levels of understanding. I sort of answered my own question here lol but I'm interested to hear other's input on this topic, and to see what you think about this issue?

@Swarnim I think everything you're referring to is really about stage yellow thinking, and as you've pointed out I feel like learning to think in deep, high-quality, systemic ways is much more important than intellectual sharpness, and so if I develop that then there is really no problem if I'm not overly intelligent in the traditional sense.

@Swarnim Thank you

"It is God's loving kindness to terrify you in order to lead you to his kingdom of safety." - Rumi I totally resonate with this post. Thanks for sharing

I was just taking notes on one of Teal Swan's workshops and she was talking about chronic fatigue. I don't know if she mentions this in the video posted above, but here are the notes I took: The human system is a combination of physical, mental and emotional. These areas all work together and impact each other, and they are not separate from each other. Its really important that you consider this when working with physical issues, because physical issues are very often caused by emotional issues, so you need to be considering all three areas of the human system rather than just the physical. Physical symptoms can manifest as a way of expressing emotional issues, for example, a person may develop chronic fatigue syndrome as a way of having boundaries and their bodies saying no, since they are unable to do that verbally. Excessive stress and tension drains your energy a lot too and can contribute to chronic fatigue. Also doing things you don’t want to do, having contracting, resistant and fearful energy rather than open, relaxed and expansive energy.

In terms of video content, it would be really great if you could make more episodes on how to think effectively, think originally, how to think in different ways, etc. I know you've posted a few videos on this recently and you have some on contemplation from the past, which are all great, but it would be awesome if you could continue to make videos on this topic. I feel like this is one of the most important topics you could possibly cover because it's a meta topic which teaches people how to get original insights for themselves instead of always depending on you for them. It would be much appreciated

@Ninja_pig Interesting, thanks

Have all the featured posts and mega-threads in one place so they are easily accessible. When they get lost and people forget about them they become kind of pointless

Are benzos okay for your system? Do they have any health side-effects?

I saw that too. I watched a bunch of Leo's trip reports I hadn't seen that were posted on there

I can't think of any adult shows that involve a lot of jealousy but I remember there being a lot of episodes about jealousy in kids shows as it's common between siblings and things like that and I guess kids shows make episodes on this topic to help kids learn. Also if you're going to be watching it for the sake of feeling into the emotion, I feel like it's more potent watching a kid feeling it because kids show their emotions much more strongly, and your emotions operate in the same way as a child does so I feel like it would touch you deeper. Here are some episodes: starting at 14:30 https://www.wcoforever.net/arthur-season-20-episode-4-bud-s-knotty-problem-that-s-my-grandma starting at 12:32

ya let me know if you do

If you ever happen to layover or something in Toronto I'd be happy to meet. I'd love to visit Vancouver. I feel like I'd like it way more than Ontario.