Tristan12

Yes, femininity comes much more naturally as it is more of an open, receptive, being state. Masculinity is based on strength, leadership and doing, and as a result requires much more effort to learn and develop it. Long ago men would learn and develop their masculinity through the influence of other tribe members and other strong grounded men. That being said, when men don't get the masculine influence they need, which is especially common in today's society, they are left weak and out of alignment with their true essence, and of course that leads to toxicity. Men developing healthy masculinity will come from embracing and supporting masculinity, not demonizing it. Neither masculinity nor femininity are inherently bad or destructive. There are just healthy and unhealthy expressions of them.

For a lot of men, their masculinity was destroyed and suppressed by mothers who were hurt by men and then taught their sons to not be dominant and to basically bow down to women. This destroys their masculine essence and makes them weak, and as a result a lot of men will lash out in toxic ways such as what you have described. A real man who has healthy masculinity, grounded in genuine self-love will not be toxic and destructive towards femininity. I don't think its fair to say that men have destroyed women, that men are to blame and women are the victims. I think both sides are at fault, and I can have compassion for the reasoning of both sides. Its important to note that a healthy masculinity and femininity will be supportive of each other and will compliment and synergize with each other well. This is the natural healthy state, how its meant to be. I can totally empathize with you and what you've been through, and i'm sure its harder than I can understand as a man to have been treated the way you have been by men, and i'm sorry you had to go through that, but I still don't think its fair to basically say that all men are inherently destructive towards women and to say that women are at no fault and play no piece in it themselves (such as what I described in the first paragraph).

@Federico del pueblo I agree with you

A woman is generally at her peak attractiveness/value in her 20s (since physical appearance is so important to men), so I think its natural that guys will always be the most interested in younger girls regardless of their age. That's probably why so many older guys will still go for younger girls. Also, a man's value generally raises with age. He becomes more mature, more developed in his finances and career, has more experience attracting women and is better at it. Any high-value man will want a high-value woman which will often end up being a younger one.

What I explained is not the same as just saying "love and accept yourself". It's not some hippy bs were you are just hoping that through positivity your shadows will melt away. What I explained comes from a deep understanding of emotions and the parts within the psyche, where the sort of pain, shame and dysfunctional behaviours you described come from, and what they need to reach resolve. I mean it doesn't take a genius to realize that what you need to be able to overcome pain, conflict, etc. is love and compassion and not more demonizing and fighting. There's nothing woo-woo about that. What I described is basically the approach I recommend you take to be able to cope with your emotions and these issues better. There is separate work you need to do to fully heal and resolve them. The reason it feels like the pain and hurt never ends is because it is so deep rooted and its not easy to heal. It's not just that the ego loves feeling special and hurt. There is a good reason for all the pain you feel, you just don't see it because it is hidden from you deep in your shadow. Emotions will always be there for a good reason. Never think that they are just being dramatic or unnecessary. All i'm saying is what I described earlier goes way deeper than what you seem to be interpreting and it's certainly not some hopeful positivity. It is based on a deep understanding of emotions and then working with them effectively to give them what they need and create a harmonious relationship with them. Personally I think a lot of spiritual teachings should be left out of emotional work as a lot of the time you end up just avoiding and bypassing your emotions and not getting to the root issue. Trust me, what I am talking about works. I have been studying this stuff for years, I use this approach of love and understanding towards myself and my emotions, and I 100% would not be alive today without it. I have no interest in basic hopeful positivity approaches, because that stuff doesn't work. I am only interested in deep, root solutions and what I am talking about is headed in that direction (like I said I talked about how to cope, not really how to heal. That is a whole other thing). I don't know if you fully understood everything I said to interpret it that way, but I would say just try it out, and see how it makes you feel.

@Danioover9000 In the opening post he asked about if Leo has gone clubbing on 5Meo and what that was like. I'm guessing that's why its in the spirituality section

Stop referring to and treating this part of you as a monster. I know how hard it can be to deal with but the more you hate it, resist it, push it away, the worse it will become. You need to understand that all of this pain that you hold within you is not trying to hurt you, it just appears that way. In reality this is your own trapped pain that is in your shadow. It appears separate from you and against you, but its not. It just needs your love and compassion because it is so hurt. The more you hate it and the more you run away from it, the more you are hurting it, and because it is a part of you, you feel it's pain. The solution to your problem is love, compassion and understanding towards the pain you hold within you. Understand that its not actually trying to hurt you, and use that to release your resistance to it. Let yourself be with and feel your negative emotions, and your pain will become much easier to deal with.

I would love to visit this place

Also, "Life, if well lived, is long enough" - Seneca

Check out this thread

Interesting

what you said happened after 23 sounds a lot like how Leo describes his psychedelic experiences. I wonder if its common for people to reach a point in their spiritual development where psychedelics have this affect on them where they become a lot more sensitive to them, visuals pretty much go away and it is just infinity and God consciousness most of the time.

No I've never experienced that, but I can see how your brain might crave sugar for something like that where you are working hard and feel like you need energy. I feel like I would be satisfied with fruit or something if I did need sugar though

That's very interesting. I have noticed over the past few years I have moved away from junk food not just for health benefits but because now a lot of things like candy, cake and greasy food makes my stomach hurt and makes me feel really shitty, whereas that would never happen before. The past few years were also when i started to get into spirituality and raising my consciousness, so that's interesting. It could also be just from getting older but I am still young with a strong metabolism so I don't think so.

@Salvijus I think he meant gaming as in doing game picking up girls, as he said "even if i'm out gaming"

You can't just rationalize fear away like that, if it were that simple he wouldn't be writing this post

Beautiful!!!

Personally I don't think meditation is overly helpful for emotional issues, and I don't have that expectation when I meditate. It can definitely even out some lighter issues but if you have something significant like depression or anxiety or something, don't expect meditation to resolve that unless you've gone very deep with meditation. Emotional issues need to be resolved in their own ways and in my opinion meditation won't do that unless you're doing it at a very deep and rigorous level. I've been meditating for just over 2 years now, an hour a day, and I have noticed a good improvement in my baseline level of consciousness. Awakenings come more easily, my concentration is better, my memory is better, and I feel like my meditation goes quite a bit deeper than when I started. I have noticed a mild amount of relief from emotional issues but really not much. I don't think the results are usually too significant in the first few years, usually down the road the results of meditation will compound and begin to build up rapidly. For me I started my meditation habit not expecting much in the first few years but more just making a long term investment to achieve crazy results 10+ years later. I think if you go into it with this mindset it would be helpful for you. Overall I'd say meditation has definitely been worthwhile for me, and I know I am still in the early stages of it and I can feel that it will get a whole lot deeper in the future.

I like this. Sort of reminds me of Sonder

If Leo had kids, this is what I imagine they'd be like?

Darci (RnB)

Dxvn. (RnB)

JaYen X District (RnB)

PLAZA (RnB)

Misc. chill songs (Downtempo)